knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed. Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir? Fal. Hang him, poor knave! I know him not; yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say, the jealous knave hath masses of money; for the which his wife seems to me wellfavoured. I will use her as the key of the rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home. Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir; that you might avoid him, if you saw him. Shal. 'Save you, master doctor Caius. C. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin,1 to see thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian ? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my Esculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully Stale? is he dead? Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of the vorld; he is not show his face. Host. Thou art a Castilian king! a Hector of Greece, my boy! Caius I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come. Shul. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions: is it not true, master Page? Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel: it shall hang like a meteor o'er his horns: Master Brook, thou shalt know, I will predominate o'er the peasant, and thou shalt have his wife.-Come to me soon at night: -Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile; come to me soon at night. [Exit. Fo. What an Epicurean rascal is this!-My heart is ready to crack with impatience.-Who says this is improvident jealousy? My wife hath Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made. a great fighter, though now a man of peace. Would any man have thought this?-See the Shal. Bodykins, master Page, though I now curse of having a false woman! my bed shall be be old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out, abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation my finger itches to make one: though we are gnawa at; and I shall not only receive this vil-justices, and doctors, and churchmen, master lainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will trust his wife, he will not be jealous: I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises: and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be praised for my jealousy!-Eleven o'clock the hour;-I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three hours too soon than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! [Fxit. SCENE III.-WINDSOR PARK. Caius. Jack Rugby! Rug. Sir. Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack? Rug. "Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet. Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. Rug. He is wise, sir: he knew your worship would kill him, if he came. Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack: I vill tell you how I vill kill him. Rug. Alas, sir, I cannot fence. Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page. Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, master Page. Page. "Tis true, master Shallow. Shal. It will be found so, master Page. Master doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace; you have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman: you must go with me, master doctor. H. Pardon, guest justice :-A word, monsieur. Caius, Scurvy Jack-dog priest! by gar me vill cut his ears. Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. Host. That is, he will make thee amends. Host. And moreover, bully,-But first, master Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he? Host. He is there: see what humour he is in: and I will bring the doctor about by the fields: will it do well? Shal. We will do it. P., Shal., & Slen. Adieu, good master doctor. [Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender. Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page. Host. Let him die: but, first, sheath thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fieldswith me through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mrs Anne Page is, at a farm-house, a feasting; and thou shalt woo her: said I well? Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good 2 All terms in fencing. 1 Fence guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentle- Host. For the which, I will be thy adversary C. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. [Exeunt. Act Third. SCENE I.-A FIELD NEAR FROGMORE. Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple. Eva. I pray you now, good master Slender's serving man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physick! Sim. Marry, sir, the city-ward, the parkward, every way: old Windsor way, and every way but the town way. Eva. I most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way. Sim. I will, sir. E.'Pless my soul! how full of cholers I am, and trembling of mind!-I shall be glad, if he have deceived me:-how melancholies I am!-I will knog his knave's costard,1 when I have good opportunities for the 'ork:-'pless my soul! [Sings. To shallow rivers, to whose falls Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. And a thousand vagram posies. To shallow Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike, having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you saw. Shal. I have lived fourscore years and upwards; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect. Eva. What is he? Page. I think you know him; master doctor Page. Why? Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen,-and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave, as you would desires to be [fight with him. acquainted withal. Page. I warrant you he's the man should Slen. O, sweet Anne Page! Shal. It appears so, by his weapons:-Keep them asunder;-here comes doctor Caius. Enter Host, Caius, and Rugby. Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon. Shal. So do you, good master doctor. Host. Disarm them, and let them question: let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit your ear: Verefore vill you not meet-a me? E. Pray you, use your patience: In good time. Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape. Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends: and I will knog your knave's cogscomb, for missing your meetings and appointments. Caius. Jack Rugby,-mine Host de Jarterre, have I not stay for him, to kill him? have I S. Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh. not, at de place I did appoint? Eva. He's welcome: To shallow rivers, to whose falls- Eva. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms. Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. Slen. Ah, sweet Anne Page! E. 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! Shal. What! the sword and the word! do you study them both, master parson? Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day? Eva. There is reasons and causes for it. Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, master parson. Eva. Fery well: What is it? 1 Head. Eva. As I am a christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed; I'll be judgment by mine host of the Garter. Host. Peace, I say, Guallia and Gaul, French and Welsh; soul-curer and body-curer. Caius. Ay, dat is very good! excellent! H. Peace, I say; hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politick? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions. Shall I lose my parson? my priest? my Sir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs.-Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so:Give me thy hand, celestial; so. -Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue.Come, lay their swords to pawn:-Follow me, lad of peace: follow, follow, follow. Shal. Trust me, a mad host:-Follow, gentlemen, follow. Slen. O, sweet Anne Page! [Exeunt Shal., Slen., Page, and Host. Caius. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us? ha, ha! E. This is well; he has made us his vlouting stog.-I desire you, that we may be friends and let us knóg our prains together, to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter. 1 Caius. By gar, vit all my heart: he promise to bring me vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me too. Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles:-Pray you, follow. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-THE STREET IN WINDSOR. Enter Mrs Page and Robin. Mrs Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader: Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels? Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf. Mrs Page. O you are a flattering boy; now, I see, you'll be a courtier. Mrs Page. By your leave, sir ;-I am sick, till I see her. [Exeunt Mrs Page and Robin. Ford. Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes; hath he any thinking? Sure they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He piecesout his wife's inclination; he gives her folly motion, and advantage; and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind and Falstaff's boy with her!-Good plots!-they are laid; and our revolted wives, share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Acteon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim1 [Clock strikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search; there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go. Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Caius, and Rugby. Shal., Page, &c. Well met, master Ford. Ford. Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home; and I pray you, all go with me. 1 Eucouragement, Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford. Slen. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of. Shal. We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer. Slen. I hope I have your good-will, father Page. Page. You have, master Slender; I stand wholly for you:-but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether. Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush. Host. What say you to young master Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holyday; he smells April and May: he will carry't, he will carry't. Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and Poins; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him take her simply; the wealth I have, waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way. Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster. master Page:-and you, Sir Hugh. -Master doctor, you shall go ;-so shall Shal. Well, fare you well:-we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's. you, [Exeunt Shallow and Slender. Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. Exit Rugby. Host. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [Exit Host. wine first with him; I'll make him dance. Will Ford. [Aside.] I think, I shall drink in pipeyou go, gentles? All.Havewith you, to see this monster,[Exeunt. SCENE III.-A ROOM IN FORD'S HOUSE. Enter Mrs Ford and Mrs Page. Mrs Ford. What, John! what, Robert! Mrs P. Quickly, quickly: Is the buck-basketMrs Ford. I warrant:-What, Robin, I say. Enter Servants with a basket, Mrs Page. Come, come, come. Mrs Ford. Here, set it down. must be brief. Mrs Page. Give your men the charge; we and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewMrs Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John house; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and (without any pause, or staggering,) take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames' side. Mrs Page. You will do it? Mrs Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction: Begone, and come when you are called. [Exeunt Servants. Mrs Page. Here comes little Robin. 1 Bleachers. Enter Robin. Mrs Ford. How now, my eyas-musket?1 what news with you? Rob. My master Sir John is come in at your back-door, mistress Ford; and requests your company. Mrs Page. You little Jack-a-lent, have you been true to us? Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: My master knows not of your being here: and hath threatened to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for, he swears, he'll turn me away. Mrs Page. Thou 'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose.-I'll go hide me. Mrs Ford. Do so:-Go tell thy master, I am alone. Mistress Page, remember you your cue. [Exit Robin. Mrs Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me. [Exit Mrs Page. Mrs Ford. Go to, then; we'll use this gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know turtles from jays. Enter Falstaff. Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel! Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough: this is the period of my ambition: Ŏ this blessed hour! Mrs Ford. O sweet Sir John! Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog,3 I cannot prate, mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish I would thy husband were dead: I'll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady. Mrs Ford. I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady. Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it. Mrs Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind. here's mistress Page at the door, sweating, and Rob. [within.] Mistress Ford, mistress Ford! blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently. Fal. She shall not see me; I will esconce me behind the arras. Mrs Ford. Pray yon, do so; she's a very tattling woman.→ [Falstaff hides himself. Enter Mrs Page and Robin. done? You're shamed, you are overthrown, you Mrs F. What's the matter, good mistress Page? an honest man to your husband, to give him Mrs P, O well-a-day, mistress Ford! having such cause of suspicion! Mrs Ford. What cause of suspicion? Mrs Page, What cause of suspicion !-Out upon you! how am I mistook in you? Mrs Ford. Why, alas! what's the matter? Mrs Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman, that, he says, is here, now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: you are undone. Mrs Ford. Speak louder [Aside. 'Tis not so, I hope. Mrs Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you: If you know yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed; call all your senses to you: defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever. Mrs F. What shall I do?-There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame, so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pounds he were out of the house. Fal. Let the court of France show me such another: I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: Thou hast the right arched bent of the brow, that becomes the ship-tire, the tirevaliant, or any tire of Venetian admittance. Mrs F. A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither. Fal. Thou art a traitor to say so: thou would'st make an absolute courtier: and the firm fixture Mrs Page. For shame, never stand you had of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy rather, and you had rather; your husband's gait, in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what here at hand, bethink you of some conveyance: thou wert, if fortune thy foe were not; nature in the house you cannot hide him.-O, how have is thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it. you deceived me!-Look, here is a basket: if he Mrs F. Believe me, there's no such thing in me.be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in Fal. What made me love thee? let that per- here; and throw foul linen upon him, as if it suade thee, there's something extraordinary in were going to bucking: 1 Or, it is whiting-time,2 thee. Come, I cannot cog, and say, thou art send him by your two men to Datchet-mead. this and that, like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklers-bury in simpletime, I cannot: but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it. |