Don Quixote's Library; but to my great Grief in none of these could I trace the Doctor; at last, by pure Accident, I found an old French Manufcript tranflated from the Spanish; the Title is, Les Aven tures Don de Biliofe de L'Eftomac. I was as proud of this Discovery as Thales or Pythagoras of theirs: I cried Eguna, and if I had not been a better Chriftian than either of them, would have facrificed an Hecatomb. In fhort, this is the very Book I fought for, and upon Examination I found the State of Phyfick to be a mere Tranfcript from it, excepting that the Author has broke the Thread of the Hiftory in feveral Places, and now and then mistaken (for want of Spanish) the Senfe of the Author. When the Tranfports for my new Difcovery were a little abated, I began to reflect with the deepeft Melancholy on the deplorable Condition of the State of Phyfick (not the Doctor's State of Phyfick) in these Kingdoms, if fuch Practices as thefe fhall go unpunished. What in the Name of Goodnefs could poflefs this Gentleman to endeavour to impofe a Romance on us for a Treatife in Phyfick, unless he defigned to banish this Science out of England, as Cervantes did Knight Errantry out of Spain? I have heard indeed that fome Chymical Enthufiafts have maintained that Homer's Iliad and Odyfey, nay the Bible itself, contained nothing but the Secret of making the Philofopher's Stone, and the Grand Elixir: That Homer's Rules for Fighting, and the holy Precepts in the Scriptures for the Conduct of our Lives, were but fo many Proceffes for making these grand Arcanums; but fure none of thefe Adepts were fo mad to attempt making Gold by one or the other; and I am plaguily miftaken if the Doctor makes any by my Manufcript; yet after all I confefs I pity this poor Gentleman's Cafe, he thirfling after Knowledge, and from his Youth upward folicitous for the publick Good, earneftly

neftly and gravely defired Sydenham's Advice; Read Don Quixote, fays the jocofe Doctor. The Biliofe Salts being very predominant both in Quantity and Quality in this poor Gentleman's Conftitution, and (unhappily for him) the Inftruments of Cogitation fo confounded the cogitative Faculty, that he did not diftinguish Jeft from Earneft; and his Paffion for his Author became fo exorbitant (curfe on all Biliofe Salts) that he neglected all other Books but Romances ever after. How these hellish Salts impofe on the Organs of Senfe, produce lufory Visions, and reprefent Actions, Perfons, and Things, that no where exift but in thefe delufive Operations and Impofitions, this unfortunate Gentleman is a melancholy Instance.

But to return to my Manuscript, I really have not Time to tranfcribe it, and am too fond of it to part with it; however, that you may not fufpect any Impofition, I have here fent you the Heads of the feveral Chapters, and refer you to the Pages in the State of Phyfick. The only Recompence I defire of you, Gentlemen, is, that you will reimburse me the Money I laid out in purchasing the Doctor's Tranflation, confidering I have the original Manufcript by me, and that the Money will be but a Trifle among you all; befides, I hope I shall not disoblige Dr. W. by thus publickly declaring the true Father of this Child, which has been fo great a Reproach to him, fince it will fave him the Trouble of maintaining another Man's Brat; and I therefore expect he will send me all the Novels, and Romances of his writing, which (I don't question) may be eafily got.

The Life and Adventures of Don Biliofo de PEftomac, &c.

Chap. 1.0

F Don Biliofo's Birth. How when his Mother was with Child of him, contrary to other Women, fhe grew big about the Shoulders, her Sternum became prominent, and her Back gibbous, her Belly all this while continuing as lank as a Virgin's. How fhe died in Labour, and how Don Biliofo was miraculously preserved by being cut out of her Stomach. Vide State of Phyfick,. p. 91, 92.

Chap. II. Concerning Don Biliofo's Education; how he was nurfed in a Coal-pit, and of his ftrange Inclination of travelling under Ground; of his Converfation with Spirits, and how he ftudied the Black Art. Vide Natural History, p. 3, 4.

Chap. III. How Don Biliofo ravifhed the incomparable and beautiful Donna Phlegma, and how they lived together like Dog and Cat, and fhe bore him afterwards feveral very unlucky Children; p. 92. And of an ancient Prophecy of above Two thoufand Years, foretelling what great Mischief he, his Wife, and Children, fhould commit in the World, p. 90.

Chap. IV. How Don Biliofo's Children committed feveral mad Pranks, and how he reclaimed them by gentle and foft Means, oiling their Sides very well, and liquoring their Boots, p. 8.1.

Chap. V. In this Chapter is related the wonderful Prowefs of the gallant Don Biliofo; how he de

ftroyed

froyed Thirty Fleas that attacked fome distressed: Damfels, and how they miraculously efcaped being fleabitten; and how a Lady got out of his Hands with a whole Skin. p. 86, 88.

Chap. VI. How that cruel Don Putrido Salino, by the Advice and Affiftance of Donna Phlegma, moft barbarously flea'd and fetched off the Skin of several innocent People's Mouths and Throats. p. 89.

Chap. VII. How Don Biliofo and Donna Phlegma quarrelled in Church; how they were confined in an Organ Loft for disturbing the Congregation; how by Art Magick they got into the great Organ Pipe, and how they made greater Emotions, Colluctations, and Pertrubations than before; as alfo how they fet the whole Church a fpewing. p. 95.

Chap. VIII. Don Biliofo's Advice to his Friends. about frying Pancakes; how to prevent them from rifing into Blifters, and how there is no trusting to the common Receipts. p. 96.

Chap. IX. How he taught an intelligent Surgeon to fet Bones and cure Bruises; how he quarrelled with a ftrange Knight for not telling him his Secrets; and how out of Spight he told Secrets which no one would listen to. p. 101, &c.

Chap. X.. How Don Biliofo made Donna Diarrhea dead drunk; and how when he had his Will of her, he turned her out of the Back Door; p. 104. Alfo how he and Donna Phlegma lacerated her great Capillary Veffel, and left her bathing in Blood; p. 105. and when the awaked, how they twitched and jerked her Buttocks, until they made her dance without Mufick. p. 106.

Chap. XI. How Don Biliofo and Donna Phlegma were taken up by the Inquifition as Conjurers, for giving People the Stranguary, Stoppage of Urine, Bloody Urine, and spitting Blood. p. 106 and 103.

Chap. XII. How Don Biliofo was fet at Liberty by the Giant Variolas, and how they entered into a strict Friendship.

Chap. XIII. How the Giant Variolas, after his Friendship with Don Biliofo, contrary to all Laws of Humanity, treated a great many honeft People very cruelly, especially Don Biliofo's Friends; laming fome, blinding others, and downright murdering the most part; though he let a great many Rogues pass unmolefted. p. 111, 112, &c.

Chap. XIV. In this Chapter you have related Two Inftances of Don Biliofo's great Humanity; how he tore up a Nettle by the Root for bliftering a Child's Cheek, and how he fainted away at seeing a Girl's Nofe bleed. p. 114 and 125.

Chap. XV How Don Biliofo gave a Dofe of Opium to a troublefome Bed-fellow, and after he was afleep, with what Caution and Humanity he attacked him behind, and made an Evacuation in his Body. p. 129, 130.

Chap. XVI. The pleasanteft Chapter in the whole Book: How Donna Diarrhea put the Giant Variolas into fuch a Fright, that he be-fh-t himself: How Don Biliofo perfuaded him not to wipe his Br-ch, left Part of the excluded Excrement might be repelled into the Anus: Periculofa plenum opus oleæ. p. 131 ad 138.

Chap. XVII. How Don Biliofo at a publick Tournament defcants on the Ufe and Choice of Arms; he proves beyond Contradiction that blunt Swords make deeper and more dangerous Wounds than the sharpeft and best pointed; that a little Oil will make a Feather as fharp as a Razor; that he had killed more Knights with that Weapon, than Achilles with his Spear, or Hercules with his Club; he challenges the Giant Variolas to a Tilt; Don Biliofo is difmounted;

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his