tions and obfervations upon all I faid. But I confefs, that after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade, and wars by fea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the ftate; the prejudices of his education prevailed fo far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroaking me gently with the other, after an hearty fit of laughing, afked me whether I was a Whig or Tory? Then turning to his firft minifter, who waited behind him with a white staff near as tall as the main-maft of the Royal Sovereign, he obferved how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be mimicked by fuch diminutive infects as I: and yet, fays he, I dare engage, these creatures have their titles and diftinction of honour; they contrive little nefts and burrows, that they call houses and cities; they make a figure in drefs and equipage; they love, they fight, they difpute, they cheat, they betray. And thus he continued on, while my colour came and went several times with indignation to hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the fcourge of France, the arbitrefs of Europe, the feat of virtue, piety, honour and truth, the pride and envy of the world, fo contemptuously treated.

BUT as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after having been accustomed several months to the fight and converfe of this people, and observed every object upon which I caft mine eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from their bulk and afpect, was fo far worn off, that if I had then beheld a company of English Lords and Ladies in their finery, and birth-day cloaths, acting their feveral parts in the most courtly manner of ftrutting, and bowing, and prating; to fay the truth, I fhould have been ftrongly tempted to laugh as much at them, as the King and his grandees did at me. Neither indeed could I forbear fmiling at myself, when the Queen ufed to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which both our perfons appeared before me in full view together; and there could nothing be more ridiculous than the comparison fo that I really began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my ufual fize.

:

NOTHING

NOTHING angered and mortified me fo much as the Queen's dwarf, who being of the loweft ftature that was ever in that country (for I verily think he was not full thirty feet high) became fo infolent at feeing a creature fo much beneath him, that he would always affect to fwagger, and look big as he paffed by me in the Queen's anti-chamber, while I was ftanding on fome table talking with the Lords or Ladies of the court, and he feldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and fuch repartees as are usual in the mouths of court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cubb was fo nettled with fomething I had faid to him, that, raifing himself upon the frame of her Majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was fitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large filver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that intant happened to be at the other end of the room, and the Queen was in such a fright, that she wanted prefence of mind to affist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I had fwallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed; however I received no other damage than the lofs of a fuit of cloaths, which was utterly fpoiled. The dwarf was foundly whipped, and as a farther punishment forced to drink up the bowl of cream, into which he had thrown me; neither was he ever restored to favour: for foon after the Queen bestowed him on a Lady of high quality, fo that I faw him no more, to my very great fatisfaction; for I could not tell to what extremity fuch a malicious urchin might have carried his refentment.

He had before ferved me a scurvy trick, which fet the Queen a laughing, altho' at the fame time the was heartily vexed, and would have immediately cafhiered him, if I had not been fo generous as to intercede. Her Majefty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect, as it ftood before; the dwarf watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the VOL. II.

I

fide

fide-board, mounted the ftool that fhe ftood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and fqueefing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist, where I ftuck for fome time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was become of me: for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes feldom get their meat hot, my legs were not fcalded, only my ftockings and breeches in a fad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a found whipping.

I was frequently rallied by the Queen upon account of my fearfulness; and fhe used to ask me, whether the people of my country were as great cowards as myfelf? The occafion was this: the kingdom is much peftered with flies in fummer, and these odious infects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any reft while I fat at dinner with their continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would fometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement or fpawn behind, which to me was very vifible, tho' not to the natives of that country, whose large optics were not fo acute as mine in viewing fmaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nofe or fore-head, where they stung me to the quick, fmelling very offenfively; and I could eafily trace that viscous matter, which, our naturalists tell us, enables thofe creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a cieling. I had much ado to defend myfelf against these deteftable animals, and could not forbear ftarting when they came on my face. It was the common practice of the dwarf to catch a number of these infects in his hand, as fchool-boys do among us, and let them out fuddenly under my nofe, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the Queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.

I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had fet me in my box upon a window, as fhe ufually did in fair days to give me air (for I durft not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do with cages in England) after I had lifted up one of my fashes, and fat down at my table to eat a piece of fweet cake

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1

for my breakfast, above twenty wafps, allured by the fmell, came flying into the room, humming louder than the drones of as many bag-pipes. Some of them seized my cake, and carried it piece-meal away; others flew about my head and face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmoft terror of their ftings. However, I had the courage to rife and draw my hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them, but the reft got away, and I presently fhut my window. Thefe infects were as large as partridges; I took out their ftings, found them an inch and a half long, and as fharp as needles. I carefully preferved them all, and having fince fhewn them with fome other curiofities in 'feveral parts of Europe, upon my return to England, I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for myfelf.

CHA P. IV.

The country defcribed. A propofal for correcting modern maps.. The King's palace, and fome account of the me-tropolis. The author's way of travelling. The chief. temple described.

Now intend to give the reader a fhort description of this country, as far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand miles round Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the Queen, whom I always attended, never went farther when the accompanied the King in his progrefies, and there ftaid till his Majefty returned from viewing his frontiers. The whole extent of this Prince's dominions reacheth about fix thousand miles in length, and from three to five in breadth. From whence I cannot but conclude, that our Geographers of Europe are in a great error, by fuppofing nothing but fea between Japan and California; for it was ever my opinion, that there must be a balance of earth to counterpoife the great continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their maps and charts by joining this vaft tract of land to the north-weft parts of America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them affistance.

my

THE

THE kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the northeaft by a ridge of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impaffable by reafon of the volcanoes upon the tops neither do the most learned know what fort of mortals inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the three other fides it is bounded by the ocean. There is not one fea-port in the whole kingdom, and thofe parts of the coasts into which the rivers iffue are fo full of pointed rocks, and the fea generally fo rough, that there is no venturing with the fmalleft of their boats; fo that thefe people are wholly excluded from any commerce with the rest of the world. But the large rivers are full of veffels, and abound with excellent fish; for they feldom get any from the sea, because the fea-fish are of the fame fize with thofe in Europe, and confequently not worth catching; whereby it is manifeft, that nature in the production of plants and animals of fo extraordinary a bulk is wholly confined to this continent, of which I leave the reasons to be determined by philofophers. However, now and then they take a whale that happens to be dafhed against the rocks, which the common people feed on heartily. These whales I have known fo large that a man could hardly carry one upon his shoulders; and fometimes for curiofity they are brought in hampers to Lorbrulgrud: I faw one of them in a dish at the King's table, which paffed for a rarity, but I did not obferve he was fond of it; for I think indeed the bignefs difgufted him, altho' I have feen one fomewhat larger in Greenland.

THE country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty one cities, near an hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To fatisfy my curious reader, it may be fufficient to defcribe Lorbrulgrud. This city ftands upon almost two equal parts on each fide the river that paffes thro'. It contains above eighty thousand houses, and about fix hundred thousand inhabitants. It is in length three glomglungs (which make about fifty four English miles) and two and a half in breadth, as I meafured it myself in the royal map made by the King's order, which was laid on the ground on purpose for me, and extended an hundred feet; I paced the diameter and circumference feveral