Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day, Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter.— Ant. S. [aside] Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell? Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd! And in this mist at all adventures go. Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? And let none enter, lest I break your pate. Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late. [Exeunt. ACT III. SCENE I. Before the house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR. Ant. E. Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all ; My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours: Say that I linger'd with you at your shop To see the making of her carcanet, And that to-morrow you will bring it home. But here's a villain that would face me down He met me on the mart, and that I beat him, And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold, And that I did deny my wife and house. Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this? (43) Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know; That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show: If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink, Your own handwriting would tell you what I think. Ant. E. I think thou art an ass. Dro. E. Marry, so it doth appear By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear. I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass, May answer my good will and your good welcome here! Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords. Bal. Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast. Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing guest: But though my cates be mean, take them in good part; Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart. But, soft! my door is lock'd.-Go bid them let us in. Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jin ! Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch. Dro. E. What patch is made our porter?-My master Dro. S. [within] Let him walk from whence he came, lest Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door! Ant. E. Wherefore! for my dinner: I have not din'd to-day. Dro. S. [within] Nor to-day here you must not; come again when you may. Ant. E. What art thou that keep'st me out from the house I owe? Dro. S. [within] The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio. Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stol'n both mine office and my name! The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame. If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou wouldst have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass. (44) Luce. [within](45) What a coil is there! Dromio, who are those at the gate? Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce. Luce. [within] And so tell your master. Dro. E. Faith, no; he comes too late; O Lord, I must laugh! Have at you with a proverb;-Shall I set in my staff? Luce. [within] Have at you with another; that's,-When? can you tell? Dro. S. [within] If thy name be call'd Luce,-Luce, thou hast answer'd him well. Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I hope ?(46) Luce. [within] I thought to have ask'd you. Dro. S. [within] And you said no. Dro. E. So, come, help :-well struck! there was blow Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down. Luce. [within] What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town? Adr. [within] Who is that at the door that keeps all this noise? Dro. S. [within] By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys. Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come be fore. Adr. [within] Your wife, sir knave! go get you from the door. Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore. Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome: we would fain have either. Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part with neither. Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither. Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in. Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your garments were thin. Your cake is warm within; you stand here in the cold :(47) Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, sir; and Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind. Dro. S. [within] It seems thou want'st breaking: out upon thee, hind! Dro. E. Here's too much "out upon thee!" I pray thee, let me in. Dro. S. [within] Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish have no fin. Ant. E. Well, I'll break in :-go borrow me a crow. Dro. E. A crow without feather,―master, mean you so? For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a feather: If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together. Ant. E. Go get thee gone; fetch me an iron crow. Bal. Have patience, sir; O, let it not be so! Herein you war against your reputation, And draw within the compass of suspect Th' unviolated honour of your wife. Once this,—your long experience of her wisdom, (48) Plead on her part some cause to you unknown; And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse Why at this time the doors are made against you. And let us to the Tiger all to dinner; Now in the stirring passage of the day, And dwell upon your grave when you are dead; For ever housed where it gets possession. Ant. E. You have prevail'd: I will depart in quiet, Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle : Enter, from the house, LUCIANA and ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse.(50) Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot A husband's office? shall, Antipholus, Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot? If you did wed my sister for her wealth, Then for her wealth's sake use her with more kindness: Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth; Muffle your false love with some show of blindness: Let not my sister read it in your eye; Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator; Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty ; Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger; |