May carry through itself to that full issue For which I raz'd my likeness.-Now, banish'd Kent, Horns within. Enter LEAR, Knights, and Attendants. Lear. Let me not stay a jot for dinner; go get it ready. [Exit an Attendant.] How now! what art thou? Kent. A man, sir. Lear. What dost thou profess? What wouldst thou with us? Kent. I do profess to be no less than I seem; to serve him truly that will put me in trust; to love him that is honest; to converse with him that is wise, and says little; to fear judgment; to fight when I cannot choose; and to eat no fish. Lear. What art thou? Kent. A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the king. Lear. If thou be'st as poor for a subject as he's for a king, thou art poor enough. What wouldst thou? Kent. Service. Lear. Who wouldst thou serve? Kent. You. Lear. Dost thou know me, fellow ? Kent. No, sir; but you have that in your countenance which I would fain call master. Lear. What's that? Kent. Authority. Lear. What services canst thou do? Kent. I can keep honest counsel, ride, run, mar a curious tale in telling it, and deliver a plain message bluntly: that which ordinary men are fit for, I am qualified in; and the best of me is diligence. Lear. How old art thou? Kent. Not so young, sir, to love a woman for singing, nor so old to dote on her for any thing: I have years on my back forty-eight. Lear. Follow me; thou shalt serve me: if I like thee no worse after dinner, I will not part from thee yet.-Dinner, ho, dinner! Where's my knave? my fool?-Go call my fool hither. Enter OSWALD. You, you, sirrah, where's my daughter? Osw. So please you,— you, and [Exit an Attendant. [Exit. Lear. What says the fellow there? Call the clotpoll back. [Exit a Knight.]-Where's my fool, ho?—I think the world's asleep.- Re-enter Knight. How now! where's that mongrel? Knight. He says, my lord, your daughter is not well. Lear. Why came not the slave back to me when I called him? Knight. Sir, he answered me in the roundest manner, he would not. Lear. He would not! Knight. My lord, I know not what the matter is; but, to my judgment, your highness is not entertained with that ceremonious affection as you were wont; there's a great abatement of kindness appears as well in the general dependants as in the duke himself also and your daughter. Lear. Ha! sayest thou so? Knight. I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, if I be mistaken; for my duty cannot be silent when I think your highness wronged. Lear. Thou but rememberest me of mine own conception: I have perceived a most faint neglect of late; which I have rather blamed as mine own jealous curiosity than as a very pretence and purpose of unkindness: I will look further into't. But where's my fool? I have not seen him this two days. Knight. Since my young lady's going into France, sir, the fool hath much pined away. Lear. No more of that; I have noted it well.-Go you, and tell my daughter I would speak with her. [Exit an Attendant.]—Go you, call hither my fool. [Exit an Attendant. Re-enter OSWALD. O, you sir, you, come you hither, sir: who am I, sir? Osw. My lady's father. Lear. My lady's father! my lord's knave: you whoreson dog! you slave! you cur! Osw. I am none of these, my lord; I beseech your pardon. Lear. Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal? Osw. I'll not be struck, my lord. [Striking him. Kent. Nor tripped neither, you base foot-ball player. [Tripping up his heels. Lear. I thank thee, fellow; thou servest me, and I'll love thee. Kent. Come, sir, arise, away! I'll teach you differences: away, away! If you will measure your lubber's length again, tarry but away! go to; have you wisdom? so. [Pushes Oswald out. Lear. Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee: there's earnest of thy service. Enter Fool. [Giving Kent money. Fool. Let me hire him too:-here's my coxcomb. [Giting Kent his cap. Lear. How now, my pretty knave! how dost thou ? Fool. Sirrah, you were best take my Kent. Why, fool? (22) coxcomb. Fool. Why, for taking one's part that 's out of favour: nay, an thou canst not smile as the wind sits, thou'lt catch cold shortly there, take my coxcomb: why, this fellow has banished two on's daughters, and did the third a blessing against his will; if thou follow him, thou must needs wear my coxcomb.-How now, nuncle! Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters! Lear. Why, my boy? Fool. If I gave them all my living, I'd keep my coxcombs myself. There's mine; beg another of thy daughters. Lear. Take heed, sirrah,-the whip. Fool. Truth's a dog must to kennel; he must be whipped out, when the lady brach (23) may stand by the fire and stink. Lear. A pestilent gall to me! Fool. Sirrah, I'll teach thee a speech. Fool. Mark it, nuncle: Have more than thou showest, And thou shalt have more Than two tens to a score. Kent. This is nothing, fool. Fool. Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer,-you gave me nothing for't.-Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle? Lear. Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing. Fool. Prithee, tell him, so much the rent of his land comes to: he will not believe a fool. Lear. A bitter fool! [To Kent. Fool. Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a bitter fool and a sweet one? Lear. No, lad; teach me. Fool. That lord that counsell'd thee To give away thy land, Do thou for him stand: Will presently appear; The other found out there. Lear. Dost thou call me fool, boy? Fool. All thy other titles thou hast given away; that thou wast born with. Kent. This is not altogether fool, my lord. Fool. No, faith, lords and great men will not let me; if I had a monopoly out, they would have part on't, and loads too: they will not let me have all fool to myself; they'll be snatching.-Nuncle, give me an egg, and I'll give thee two crowns. Lear. What two crowns shall they be? Fool. Why, after I have cut the egg i' the middle, and eat up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou clovest thy crown i' the middle, and gavest away both parts, thou borest thine ass on thy back o'er the dirt: thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown, when thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speak like myself in this, let him be whipped that first finds it so. Fools had ne'er less grace in a year; For wise men are grown foppish, Their manners are so apish. [Singing. Lear. When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah? Fool. I have used it, nuncle, e'er since thou madest thy daughters thy mothers: for when thou gavest them the rod, and puttest down thine own breeches, Then they for sudden joy did weep, And I for sorrow sung, That such a king should play bo-peep, [Singing. Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thy fool to lie: I would fain learn to lie. Lear. An you lie, sirrah, we'll have you whipped. Fool. I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are: they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou❜lt have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be thee, nuncle; thou hast pared thy wit o' both sides, and left nothing i' the middle:-here comes one o' the parings. Enter GONERIL. Lear. How now, daughter! what makes that frontlet on? Methinks you are too much of late i' the frown. |