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Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and coram.
Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alorum. Slen. Ay, and rato-lorum too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson; who writes himself armigero, in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation,-armigero. 11
Shal. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years.
Slen. All his successors gone before him hath done't; and all his ancestors that come after him may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. 17
Shal. It is an old coat.
Eva. The dozen white louses do become an cd coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love. 21 Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.
Slen. I may quarter, coz?
If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the Church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you.
Shal. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot. Eva. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot. The Council, look you,shall desire to hear the fear of Got,and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.
Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.
Eva. It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death's-bed,-Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!-give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hun24 dred pound? Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
Eva. Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one.
Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. 64
Eva. Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.
Shal. Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there? 68
Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page. [Knocks.] What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
Page. [Within ] Who's there?
Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.
Eva. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. Shal. He hath wronged me, Master Page. 105 Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed, he hath;-at a word, he hath,-believe me: Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.
Page. Here comes Sir John.
Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He hears with ear?' Why, it is affectations. Fal. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?
Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he,- -or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,—of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
Fal. Is this true, Pistol?
Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
and PISTOL. Fal. Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king?
Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.
116 Fal. But not kissed your keeper's daughter? Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.
Word of denial in thy labras here!
Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. 178
Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John? Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Eva. It is his 'five senses;' fie, what the ignorance is!
183 Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires. Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter. I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.
Eva. So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.
Shal. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?
Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.
Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do, is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?
Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know one another: hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.
Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul is in the ort 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our meaning, 'resolutely.' His meaning is goot.
Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
Shal. Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
Re-enter ANNE PAGE.
Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne.
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.
Shal. I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence 276 [Exeunt SHALLOW and EVANS.
I will description the matter to you, if you pe at the grace. capacity of it.
Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you forsooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholding to his friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead; but what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born. 289 Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come.
Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in.
Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin th' other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes;-and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?
301 Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?
Anne. Ay, indeed, sir.
308 Slen. That's meat and drink to me, now: I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things. 315
Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector? Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Host. I have spoke; let him follow. [To BARD.] Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit.
Fal. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving-man, a fresh tapster. Go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired. I will thrive. Pist. O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? [Exit BARD. Nym. He was gotten in drink; is not the humour conceited?
Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer; he kept not time.
Nym. The good humour is to steal at a minim's rest.
Pist. 'Convey,' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! a fico for the phrase!
Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. 32 Pist Why, then, let kibes ensue.
Fal. There is no remedy; I must cony. catch, I must shift.
Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well, out of honesty into English.
Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? 55
Fal. Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband's purse; he hath a legion of angels.
Pist. As many devils entertain, and 'To her, boy,' say I.
60 Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels.
Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious ceilliades: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. 68 Nvm. I thank thee for that humour. Fal. O! she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass. Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be 'cheator to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me: they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I
SCENE IV.-A Room in DOCTOR CAIUS'S House.
I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and find anybody in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English.
Rug. I'll go watch.
Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for 't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [Exit RUGBY.] An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is 80 given to prayer; he is something peevish that way, but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And Master Slender's your master? Sim. Ay, forsooth.
Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer
Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the humour-letter. I will keep the haviour of reputation. 85
Fal. To ROBIN.] Hold, sirrah, bear you these
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
Trudge, plod away o' the hoof; seek shelter,pack!