The Modern British Drama: In Five Volumes

We'll sometimes wench together, which, once
practis'd,

And with some other care and hidden arts,
They being all made mine, I'll breathe into them
Such fearless resolution and such fervor,
That, tho' I brought them to besiege a fort
Whose walls were steeple-high, and cannon-proof,
Not to be undermin'd, they should fly up
Like swallows; and, the parapet once won,
For proof of their obedience, if I will'd them,
They should leap down again; and what is more,
By some directions they should have from me,
Not break their necks.

Thi. This is above belief.

To make thee sensible of that horror, which
They ever bear about them, that like Nero-
Like, said I thou art worse; since thou dar'st
strive

In her defame to murder thine alive.

Theod. That she that long since had the bold

ness to

Be a bad woman, (tho' I wish some other
Should so report her) could not want the cunning,
Since they go hand in hand, to lay fair colours
On her black crimes, I was resolv'd before;
Nor make I doubt but that she hath impoison'd
Your good opinion of me, and so far
Incens'd your rage against me, that too late

Brun. Sir, on my knowledge, tho' he hath I come to plead my innocence.

spoke much,

He's able to do more.

Lec. She means on her.

Brun. And howsoever in his thankfulness, For some few favours done him by myself, He left Austracia; not Theodoret,

Tho' he was chiefly aim'd at, could have laid,
With all his dukedom's power, that shame upon
him,

Which in his barbarous malice to my honour,
He swore with threats t' effect.

Thi. I cannot but

Believe you, madam.--Thou art one degree
Grown nearer to my heart, and I am proud
To have in thee so glorious a plant
Transported hither: In thy conduct, we
Go on assured of conquest; our remove
Shall be with the next sun.

Brun. To excuse

Thy impious scandals rather !

Prot. Rather forc'd with fear

To be compell'd to come.
Thi. Forbear!

Theod. This moves not me; and yet, had I not
been

Transported on my own integrity,

I neither am so odious to my subjects,
Nor yet so barren of defence, but that
By force I could have justified my guilt,
Had I been faulty: But since Innocence
Is to itself an hundred thousand guards,
And that there is no son, but tho' he owe
That name to an ill mother, but stands bound
Rather to take away with his own danger
From th' number of her faults, than for his own
Security, to add unto them: This,

This hath made me to prevent th' expence

Enter THEODORET, MEMBERGE, MARTELL, and of blood on both sides; the injuries, the rapes,

DE VITRY.

Silent thus long, and am yet unresolv'd
Whether to entertain thee on my sword,
As fits a parricide of a mother's honour;
Or whether, being a prince, I yet stand bound
(Tho' thou art here condemn'd) to give thee
ing,

(Pages, that ever wait upon the war)

The account of all which, since you are the cause,
Believe it, would have been requir'd from you;
Rather I say to offer up my daughter,

Who living only could revenge my death,

With my heart-blood a sacrifice to your anger,

Than that you should draw on your head more

curses

Than yet you have deserv'd.

Thi. I do begin

To feel an alteration in my nature,

And, in his full-sail'd confidence, a shower

Of gentle rain, that falling on the fire

Of my hot rage hath quench'd it. Ha! I would
Once more speak roughly to him, and I will;
Yet there is something whispers to me, that
I have said too much: How is my heart divided
Between the duty of a son, and love

Due to a brother! Yet I am sway'd here,
And must ask of you, how 'tis possible
hear-You can affect me, that have learn'd to hate
Where you should pay all love?

Before I execute. What foolish hope,
(Nay, pray you forbear) or desperate madness ra-
ther,

(Unless thou com'st assur'd, I stand in debt
As far to all impiety as thyself)

Has made thee bring thy neck unto the axe?
Since looking only here, it cannot but

Draw fresh blood from thy sear'd-up conscience,

Theod. Which, join'd with duty,
Upon my knees I should be proud to tender,
Had she not us'd herself so many swords
To cut those bonds that tied me to it.
Thi. Fy,

No more of that!

Theod. Alas, it is a theme

I take no pleasure to discourse of: 'Would

It could as soon be buried to the world,
As it should die to me! nay more, I wish
(Next to my part of Heav'n) that she would spend
The last part of her life so here, that all
Indifferent judges might condemn me for
A most malicious slanderer, nay, text it
Upon my forehead. If you hate me, mother,
Put me to such a shame; pray you do! Believe it,
There is no glory that may fall upon me,
Can equal the delight I should receive
In that disgrace; provided the repeal
Of your long-banish'd virtues, and good name
Usher'd me to it.

Thi. See, she shews herself

An easy mother, which her tears confirm !
Theod. 'Tis a good sign; the comfortablest rain
I ever saw.

Thi. Embrace!-Why, this is well:
May never more but love in you, and duty
On your part, rise between you!

Baw. Do you hear, lord-general?

Does not your new-stamp'd honour on the sudden Begin to grow sick?

Prot. Yes; I find it. fit,

That, putting off my armour, I should think of Some honest hospital to retire to.

Baw. Sure,

Altho' I am a bawd, yet being a lord, They cannot whip me for't: What's your nion?

opi-If I fail in my office to provide you Fresh delicates, hang me!

Lec. The beadle will resolve you, for I cannot; There's something that more near concerns myself

That calls upon me.

Murt. Note but yonder scarabes,

That liv'd upon the dung of her base pleasures; How from the fear that she may yet prove honest Hang down their wicked heads!

Vitry. What's that to me?

Tho' they and all the polecats of the court
Were truss'd together, I perceive not how
It can advantage me a cardecue,

To help to keep me honest.

Enter a Post.

Thi. How! from whence?

[A horn.

Post. These letters will resolve your grace. Thi. What speak they?— [Reads. How all things meet to make me this day happy! See, mother, brother, to your reconcilement Another blessing, almost equal to it, Is coming tow❜rds me! my contracted wife Ordella, daughter of wise Datarick, The king of Arragon, is on our confines: Then, to arrive at such a time, when you Are happily here to honour with your presence Our long-deferr'd, but much wish'd nuptial, Falls out above expression! Heav'n be pleas'd That I may use these blessings pour'd on me With moderation!

Brun. Hell and furies aid me,

That I may have power to avert the plagues,
That press upon me!

Thi. Two days' journey, say'st thou?

Brun. Oh, you are dull, and find not The cause of my vexation; their reconcilement is a mock castle built upon the sand By children, which, when I am pleas'd to o'erthrow,

I can with ease spurn down.
Lec. If so, from whence
Grows your affliction ?

Brun. My grief comes along

With the new queen, in whose grace all my power
Must suffer shipwreck: For me now,
That hitherto have kept the first, to know
A second place, or yield the least precedence
To any other, 's death! to have my sleeps
Less enquir'd after, or my rising up
Saluted with less reverence, or my gates
Empty of suitors, or the king's great favours
To pass thro' any hand but mine, or he
Himself to be directed by another,
Would be to me-Do you understand me yet?
No means to prevent this?

Prot. Fame gives her out
To be a woman of a chastity

Not to be wrought upon; and therefore, madam, For me, tho' I have pleas'd you, to attempt her Were to no purpose.

Brun. Tush, some other way!

Baw. Faith, I know none else; all my bringing-up

Aim'd at no other learning.

Lec. Give me leave!

If my art fail me not, I have thought on
A speeding project.

Brun. What is't? but effect it,

We will set forth to meet her. In the mean time, And thou shalt be my Esculapius;

Thy image shall be set up in pure gold,
To which I will fall down, and worship it.
Lec. The lady is fair?
Brun. Exceeding fair.
Lec. And young?

Brun. Some fifteen at the most.

Lec. And loves the king with equal ardour?
Brun. More; she dotes on him.

Lec. Well then; what think you if I make a
drink,

Which, given unto him on the bridal-night,

Shall for five days so rob his faculties

Of all ability to pay that duty

(For this hour he shall pass the test) what valour,
Staid judgment, soul, or safe discretion,
Your mother's wand'ring eyes, and your obedience,
Have flung upon us; to assure your knowledge,
He can be, dare be, shall be, must be nothing
(Load him with piles of honours, set him off
With all the cunning foils that may deceive us!)
But a poor, cold, unspirited, unmanner'd,
Unhonest, unaffected, undone fool,
And most unheard-of coward; a mere lump,
Made to load beds withal, and, like a night-mare,
Ride ladies that forget to say their prayers;
One that dares only be diseased, and in debt;

Which new-made wives expect, that she shall Whose body mews more plaisters every month,

swear

She is not match'd to a man ?

Prot. "Twere rare!

Lec. And then,

If she have any part of woman in her,
She'll or fly out, or at least give occasion

Of such a breach which ne'er can be made up;
Since he that to all else did never fail

Of as much as could be perform'd by man,
Proves only ice to her.

Brun. 'Tis excellent!

Baw. The physician

Helps ever at a dead lift: A fine calling,

That can both raise and take down: Out upon thee!

Brun. For this one service, I am ever thine! Prepare't; I'll give it him myself. For you, Protaldye,

By this kiss, and our promis'd sport at night,
I do conjure you to bear up, not minding
The opposition of Theodoret,.
Or any of his followers: Whatsoe'er
You are, yet appear valiant, and make good
Th' opinion that is had of you! For myself,
In the new queen's remove being made secure,
Fear not, I'll make the future building sure.

[Exeunt.

[merged small][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small]

Than women do old faces!

Thi. No more! I know him;

I now repent my error. Take your time,
And try him home, ever thus far reserv'd,
You tie your anger up.

Mart. I lost it else, sir.

Thi. Bring me his sword fair-taken without violence,

(For that will best declare him)

Theod. That's the thing.

Thi. And my best horse is thine.
Mart. Your grace's servant!
Theod. You'll hunt no more, sir?
Thi. Not to-day; the weather

[Exit.

Prot. No, I'll assure you, sir, nor my discretion,
Against a multitude. 'Tis true I dare fight
Enough, and well enough, and long enough ;
But wisdom, sir, and weight of what is on me,
(In which I am no more mine own, nor your's, sir,
Nor, as I take it, any single danger,

But what concerns my place) tells me directly,
Beside my person, my fair reputation,
If I thrust into crowds, and seek occasions,
Suffers opinion. Six? why, Hercules
Avoided two, man: Yet, not to give example,
But only for your present danger's sake, sir,
Were there but four, sir, I car'd not if I kill'd them;
They'll serve to set my sword.

Mart. There are but four, sir,

I did mistake them: But four such as Europe, Excepting your great valour—

Prot. Well consider'd!

I will not meddle with 'em; four, in honour, Are equal with fourscore: Besides, they're people Only directed by their fury.

Mart. So much nobler

Shall be your way of justice.

Prot. That I find not.

Mart. You will not leave me thus ?

And see fair play o' both sides.

Mart. There is no

More, sir, and, as I doubt, a base one too.
Prot. Fy on him! Go, lug him out by th' ears!
Mart. Yes,

This is he, sir; the basest in the kingdom.
Prot. Do you know me?

Mart. Yes, for a general-fool,

A knave, a coward, an upstart stallion bawd,
Beast, barking puppy, that dares not bite.

Prot. The best man best knows patience.
Mart. Yes,

you,

This way, sir; now draw your sword, and right Or render it to me; for one you shall do! [Kicks him. Prot. If wearing it may do you any honour, I shall be glad to grace you; there it is, sir! Mart. Now get you home, and tell your lady mistress,

Sh'has shot up a sweet mushroom! quit your place too,

And say you are counsell'd well; thou wilt be beaten else

By thine own lanceprisadoes, (when they know thee)

That tuns of oil of roses will not cure thee:
Go, get you to your foining work at court,
And learn to sweat again, and eat dry mutton!
An armour like a frost will search your bones
And make you roar, you rogue! Not a reply,
For if you do, your ears go off!
Prot. Still patience.

[Exeunt.

Loud Musick. A Banquet set out. Enter THIERRY, Ordella, BruNHALT, THEODORET, LECURE, Bawdber, &c.

Thi. Itis your place; and tho' in all things else You may and ever shall command me, yet In this I'll be obey'd.

Ord. Sir, the consent

Repent I am so: Yet be you but pleas'd
That made me yours, shall never teach me to
To give me leave to say so much; the honour
You offer me were better given to her,
To whom you owe the power of giving.

Thi. Mother,

You hear this, and rejoice in such a blessing

Prot. I would not leave you; but, look you, sir, That pays to you so large a share of duty.

Men of my place and business must not

Be question'd thus.

Mart. You cannot pass, sir,

Now they have seen me with you, without danger: They are here, sir, within hearing. Take but two!

But, fy! no more! for as you hold a place
Nearer my heart than she, you must sit nearest
To all those graces that are in the power
Of majesty to bestow.

Brun. Which I'll provide

Prot. Let the law take 'em! take a tree, sir-Shall be short liv'd. Lecure!

I'll take my horse—that you may keep with safety,
If they have brought no hand-saws. Within this

hour

I'll send you rescue, and a toil to take 'em. Mart. You shall not go so poorly. Stay! but one, sir!

Prot. I have been so hamper'd with these res

cues,

So hew'd and tortur'd, that the truth is, sir, I've mainly vow'd against 'em: Yet, for your sake, If, as you say, there be but one, I'll stay

Lec. I have it ready.

Brun. 'Tis well; wait on our cup.
Lec. You honour me.

Thi. We're dull;

No object to provoke mirth?

Theod. Martell,

If you remember, sir, will grace your feast
With something that will yield matter of mirta,
Fit for no common view.

Thi. Touching Protaldye?
Theod. You have it.

Enter PROTALDYE.

Prol. The worst that can come

Is blanketing; for beating, and such virtues,

I have been long acquainted with.

Mart. Oh, strange!

Baw. Behold the man you talk of!
Brun. Give me leave!

Or free thyself-think in what place you are-
From the foul imputation that is laid
Upon thy valour-be bold; I'll protect you→→→
Or here I vow-deny it or swear it--

These honours which thou wear'st unworthily-
Which be but impudent enough, and keep them-
Shall be torn from thee, with thy eyes.

Prot. I have it.-

My valour? is there any here, beneath The stile of king, dares question it?

Thi. This is rare!

Thi. Nay, study not an answer; confess freely! Prot. Oh, I remember't now: At the stag's fall, As we to-day were hunting, a poor fellow, (And, now I view you better, I may say Much of your pitch) this silly wretch I spoke of, With his petition falling at my feet, (Which much against my will he kiss'd) desir'd, That, as a special means for his preferment, I would vouchsafe to let him use my sword, To cut off the stag's head.

Brun. Will you hear that?

Baw. This lie bears a similitude of truth. Prot. I, ever courteous (a great weakness in me,) Granted his humble suit.

Mart. Oh, impudencé!

Thi. This change is excellent.

Mart. A word with you:

Deny it not! I was that man disguis'd;
You know my temper, and, as you respect
A daily cudgelling for one whole year,
Without a second pulling by the ears,

Or tweaks by the nose, or the most precious balı
You us'd of patience, (patience, do you mark me?)
Confess before these kings, with what base fear
Thou didst deliver it.

Prot. Oh, I shall burst!
And if I have not instant liberty

To tear this fellow limb by limb, the wrong
Will break my heart, although Herculean,
And somewhat bigger! There's my gage! pray
you here

Let me redeem my credit!

Thi. Ha, ha! Forbear!

Mart. Pray you let me take it up; and if I
do not,

Against all odds of armour and of weapons,
With this make him confess it on his knees,
Cut off my head.

Prot. No, that's my office.
Baw. Fy!

You take the hangman's place?
Ord. Nay, good my lord,

Let me atone this difference! do not suffer
Our bridal night to be the centaurs' feast.
You are a knight, and bound by oath to grant
All just suits unto ladies: For my sake,
Forget your suppos'd wrong!

Prot. Well, let him thank you!

For your sake, he shall live, perhaps a day;
And, may be, on submission, longer.

Theod. Nay,

Martell, you must be patient.

« Previous Continue »

Books

The Modern British Drama: In Five Volumes, Volume 1