private Mert. The Virtues of great Men, like thofe of Plants, are inherent in them whether they are exerted or not; and the more strongly inherent, the lefs they are exerted; as a Man is the more rich, the lefs he fpends. All great Minifters, without either private or oeconomical Virtue, are virtuous by their Pofts; liberal and generous upon the Publick Money, provident upon Publick Supplies, juft by paying Publick Intereft, couragious and magnanimous by the Fleets and Armies, magnificent upon the Publick Expences, and prudent by Publick Succefs. They have by their Office, a right to a fhare of the Publick Stock of Virtues; befides they are by Prefcription immemorial invefted in all the celebrated virtues of their Predeceffors in the fame ftations, especially those of their own Ancestors.

As to what are commonly called the Colours of Honourable and Dishonourable, they are various in different Countries: In this they are Blue, Green, and Red.

But forafmuch as the duty we owe to the Publick doth often require that we fhould put fome things in a strong light, and throw a fhade over others, I fhall explain the method of turning a vicious Man into a Hero.

The first and chief rule is the Golden Rule of Transformation, which confifts in converting Vices into their bordering Virtues. A Man who is a Spendthrift, and will not pay a juft Debt, may have his Injuftice transformed into Liberality; Cowardice may be metamorphorfed into Prudence; Intemperance into good Nature and good Fellowfhip; Corruption into Patriotifm; and Lewdness into Tenderness and Facility.

The fecond is the Rule of Contraries: It is certain, the lefs a Man is endued with any Virtue, the more need he has to have it plentifully beftowed,

especially

efpecially thofe good qualities of which the world generally believes he hath none at all: For who will thank a Man for giving him that which he has?

The Reverse of these Precepts will ferve for Satire, wherein we are ever to remark, that whofo lofeth his place, or becomes out of favour with the Government, hath forfeited his fhare in publick Praife and Honour. Therefore the truly publick fpirited writer ought in duty to ftrip him whom the government hath ftripped; which is the real poetical Justice of this age. For a full collection of Topicks and Epithets to be used in the Praise and Difpraise of Ministerial and Unminifterial Perfons, I refer to our Rhetorical Cabinet; concluding with an earnest exhortation to all my brethren, to obferve the Precepts here laid down, the neglect of which hath coft fome of them their Ears in a Pillory.

A

CHA P. XV.

A Receipt to make an Epic Poem.

N Epic Poem, the Critics agree, is the greatest work human nature is capable of. They have already laid down many mechanical rules for compofitions of this fort, but at the fame time they cut off almost all undertakers from the poffibility of ever performing them; for the first qualification they unanimously require in a Poet, is a Genius. I fhall here endeavour (for the benefit of my Countrymen) to make it manifeft, that Epic Poems may be made without a Genius, nay without Learning or much Reading. This muft neceffarily be of great ufe to all those who confefs

P 4

they

they never Read, and of whom the world is convinced they never Learn. Moliere obferves of making a dinner, that any man can do it with Money, and if a profeffed Cook cannot do it without, he has his Art for nothing; the fame may be faid of making a Poem, 'tis eafily brought about by him that has a Genius, but the skill lies in doing it without one. In purfuance of this end, I fhall present the reader with a plain and certain Recipe, by which any author in the Bathos may be qualified for this grand performance.

For the FABLE.

Take out of any old Poem, Hiftory-book, Romance, or Legend (for inftance, Geoffry of Manmouth, or Don Belianis of Greece) thofe parts of story which afford moft fcope for long Defcriptions: Put these pieces together, and throw all the adventures you fancy into one Tale. Then take a Hero, whom you may chufe for the found of his name, and put him into the midst of these adventures: There let him work for twelve books; at the end of which you may take him out, ready prepared to conquer or to marry; it being neceffary that the conclufion of an Epic Poem be fortunate.

To make an EPISODE.

Take any remaining adventure of your former collection, in which you could no way involve your Hero; or any unfortunate accident that was too good to be thrown away; and it will be of use, applied to any other perfon, who may be loft and evap rate in the courfe of the work, without the leaft damage to the composition.

For the MORAL and ALLEGORY.

Thefe le you may extract out of the Fable afterwards, at your leifure: Be fure you train them fufficiently.

For

For the MANNERS.

For thofe of the Hero, take all the best qualities you can find in the most celebrated Heroes of antiquity; if they will not be reduced to a Confiftency, lay them all on a heap upon him. But be fure they are qualities which your Parron would be thought to have; and to prevent any mistake which the world may be subject to, select from the alphabet thofe capital letters that compofe his name, and fet them at the head of a Dedication before your Poem. However, do not abfolutely observe the exact quantity of these Virtues, it not being determined whether or no it be neceffary for the Hero of a Poem to be an honest Man. For the UnderCharacters, gather them from Homer and Virgil, and change the names as occafion ferves.

For the MACHINES.

Take of Deities, male and female, as many as you can use: Separate them into two equal parts, and keep Jupiter in the middle; Let Juno put him in a ferment, and Venus mollify him. Remember on all occafions to make use of volatile Mercury. If you have need of Devils, draw them out of Milton's Paradife, and extract your Spirits from Taffo. The use of these Machines is evident; fince no Epic Poem can poffibly fubfift without them, the wifest way is to referve them for your greatest neceffities: When you cannot extricate your Hero by any human means, or yourself by your own wit, feek relief from Heaven, and the Gods will do your bufinefs very readily. This is according to the direct Prefcription of Horace in his Art of Poetry.

Nec Deus interfit, nifi dignus vi dice Nodus.
Inciderit.-

That

That is to fay, A Poet should never call upon the Gods for their Assistance, but when he is in great Perplexity.

For the DESCRIPTIONS.

For a Tempeft. Take Eurus, Zephyr, Aufter, and Boreas, and caft them together in one verfe: add to thefe of Rain, Lightning and Thunder (the loudeft you can) quantum fufficit: mix your Clouds and Billows well together 'till they foam, and thicken your Defcription here and there with a Quickfand. Brew your Tempest well in your head, before you fet it a blowing.

For a Battle. Pick a large quantity of Images and Defcriptions from Homer's Iliads, with a fpice or two of Virgil, and if there remain any overplus, you may lay them by for a Skirmish. Seafon it well with Similes, and it will make an excellent Battle.

For a Burning Town. If fuch a Defcription be neceffary (because it is certain there is one in Virgil) old Troy is ready burnt to your hands. But if you fear that would be thought borrowed, a Chapter or two of the Theory of the Conflagration, well circumstanced aud done into verfe, will be a good Succedaneum.

As for Similes and Metaphors, they may be found all over the Creation; the most ignorant may gather them, but the difficulty is in applying them. For this advife with your Bookfeller,

CHAP.