day more agreeably to his Character; that is to fay, not without fome Profitable Conference, nor wholly without obfervance of fome Ancient Cuftom. He remembered to have read in Theocritus, that the Cradle of Hercules was a Shield; and being poffeffed of an antique Buckler which he held as a most ineftimable Relick, he determined to have the infant laid therein, and in that manner brought into the Study, to be fhewn to certain learned men of his acquaintance. The regard he had for this Shield, had caused him formerly to compile a Differtation concerning it *, proving from the feveral properties, and particularly the colour of the Ruft, the exact chronology thereof. With this Treatife, and a moderate fupper, he proposed to entertain his Guefts; tho' he had alfo another defign, to have their affistance in the calculation of his Son's Nativity. He therefore took the Buckler out of a Cafe (in which he always kept it, left it might contract any modern ruft) and entrusted it to his House-maid, with orders, that when the company was come she fhould lay the Child carefully in it, covered with a mantle of blue Sattin. The Guests were no fooner feated, but they entered into a warm Debate about the Triclinium and the manner of Decubitus of the Antients, which Cornelius broke off in this manner: "This day, my Friends, I purpose to exhibit my fon before you; a Child not wholly unwor"thy of Inspection, as he is defcended from a Race "of Virtuofi. Let the Phyfiognomifts examine "his Features; let the Chirographifts behold his "Palm; but above all let us confult for the calcu"lation of his Nativity. To this end, as the child *Sec the Differtation on Dr. Woodward's Shield. ❝ is " is not vulgar, I will not present him unto you in 66 a vulgar manner. He shall be cradled in my An"cient Shield, fo famous through the Universities "of Europe. You all know how I purchased that "invaluable piece of Antiquity at the great (though "indeed inadequate) expence of all the Plate of "our family, how happily I carried it off, and how "triumphantly I tranfported it hither, to the inexpreffible grief of all Germany. Happy in every "circumftance, but that it broke the heart of the "great Melchior Infipidus !" .. Here he stopp'd his Speech, upon fight of the Maid, who entered the room with the Child: He took it in his arms and proceeded: "Behold then my Child, but firft behold the "Shield: Behold this Ruft,- or rather let me call "it this precious Erugo,-behold this beautiful "Varnish of Time,-this venerable Verdure of fo many Ages In fpeaking these words, he flowly lifted up the Mantle, which covered it, inch by inch; but at every inch he uncovered, his cheeks grew paler, his hand trembled, his nerves failed, till on fight of the whole, the Tremor became univerfal: The Shield and the Infant both dropt to the ground, and he had only strength enough to cry out," O God! my Shield, my Shield !" The Truth was, the Maid (extremely concerned for the reputation of her own cleanliness, and her young mafter's honour) had fcoured it as clean as her Andirons *. Cornelius funk back on a chair, the Guests stood aftonished, the infant fquaul'd, the maid ran in, fnatch'd it up again in her arms, flew into her miftrefs's room, and told what had happen'd. Down * Poor Vadius, long with learned fpleen devour'd, Can tafte no pleasure fince his Shield was scour'd. ftairs in an inftant hurried all the Goffips, where they found the Doctor in a Trance: Hungary water, Hartshorn, and the confufed noife of fhrill voices, at length awaken'd him: when opening his eyes, he faw the Shield in the hands of the Housemaid. "O Woman! Woman! he cry'd (and "fnatch'd it violently from her) was it to thy ig.. norance that this Relick owes its ruin? where, "where is the beautiful Cruft that covered thee fo ર long? where thofe Traces of Time, and Fingers .. as it were of Antiquity? Where all those beau"tiful obscurities, the cause of much delightful dif"putation, where doubt and curiofity went hand "in hand, and eternally exercifed the fpeculations "of the learned? All this the rude Touch of an "ignorant woman hath done away! The curious "Frominence at the belly of that figure, which fome 66 taking for the Cufpis of a sword, denominated a Roman Soldier; others accounting the Infignia "Virilia, pronounced to be one of the Dii Termini ; "behold the hath cleaned it in like fhameful fort, "and fhewn to be the head of a Nail. O my "Shield! my Shield! well may I say with Horace, non bene relicta Parmula." 46 66 The Goffips, not at all inquiring into the cause of his forrow, only afked if the Child had no hurt? and cry'd, Come, come, all is well; what has "the woman done but her duty? a tight cleanly "wench I warrant her; what a ftir a man makes " about a Bejon, that an hour ago, before this la"bour was bestowed upon it, a Country Barber "would not have hung at his fhop door." " A Ba" fon! (cry'd another) no fuch matter, 'tis no"thing but a paultry old Sconce, with the nozzle "broke off." The learned Gentlemen, who till now had stood fpecchlefs, hereupon looking narrowly on the Shield, declared their Affent to this latter opinion; and defired Cornelius to be com • forted, forted, affuring him it was a Sconce and no other. But this, instead of comforting, threw the Doctor into fuch a violent Fit of paffion, that he was carried off groaning and fpeechlefs to bed; where, being quite fpent, he fell into a kind of flumber. CHA P. IV. Of the Suction and Nutrition of the Great Scriblerus in his Infancy, and of the first Rudiments of his Learning. A$ S foon as Cornelius awaked, he raised himfelf on his elbow, and cafting his eye on Mrs. Scriblerus, fpoke as follows. Wifely was it faid "by Homer, that in the Cellar of Jupiter are two "barrels, the one of good, the other of evil, which "he never beftows on Mortals feparately, but con"ftantly mingles them together. Thus at the fame "time hath Heaven bleffed me with the birth of a “Son, and afflicted me with the fcouring of my "Shield. Yet let us not repine at his Difpenfations, who gives, and who takes away but ra"ther join in prayer, that the Ruft of Antiquity "which he hath been pleafed to take from my "Shield, may be added to my Son; and that fo "much of it, as it is my purpofe he fhall contract "in his Education, may never be destroyed by any "modern polishing." (ર He could no longer bear the fight of the Shield, but ordered it fhould be removed for ever from his eyes. It was not long after purchased by Dr. Woodward, who, by the affiftance of Mr. Kemp, incrusted it with a new Rust, and is the fame whereof a Cut hath been engraved, and exhibited to the great Contention of the learned. Cornelius Cornelius now began to regulate the Suction of his Child. Seldom did there país a day without difputes between him and the Mother, or the Nurse, concerning the nature of Aliment. The poor woman never dined but he denied her fome dish or other, which he judged prejudicial to her milk. One day she had a longing defire to a piece of beef, and as the ftretch'd her hand towards it, the old gentleman drew it away, and spoke to this effect. Had'ft thou read the Antients, O Nurse, thou "would'ft prefer the welfare of the Infant which "thou nourishest, to the indulging of an irregular "and voracious Appetite. Beef, it is true, may "confer a Robuftness on the limbs of my fon, but "will hebetate and clogg his Intellectuals." While he spoke this, the Nurfe looked upon him with much anger, and now and then cast a wishful eye upon the Beef Paffion (continued the Doctor, ftill holding the difh) throws the mind into too "violent a fermentation; it is a kind of Fever of "the foul, or, as Horace expreffes it, a Short Madnefs. Confider, Woman, that this day's Suction "of my fon caufe him to imbibe many ungo 66 may "vernable Paffions, and in a manner spoil him for of your poor 6 66 to |