I should have embraced it; no, I believe that I was naturally inclined to pleasure, and that the bad taste which is so conspicuous in Cambridge studies, merely contributed to increase that tendency, or, at all events, to remove the qualms of conscience which affected me when I first abandoned my design of reading. It might, however, have happened without this, and I shall not lay my follies upon a bad system, which has already too much to answer for, The pictures of Alma Mater, which are to be seen in the Cambridge Calenders, may, for aught I know, be very good ones ; and the milk which is there to be perceived flowing from her breasts, may be very good also; but he must be a sturdy logician indeed, who will convince me that it is at all comparable to the milk-punch which we get from the College butler.

However, as Stamford's supper hour is not yet arrived, I have time to shew that I was not an utter profligate a naturally ill-disposed renegade, but that I had really some just cause for disliking and abandoning the mode of life which I at first made choice of. Nor can I possibly take any surer means to effect this purpose, than by giving the reader a faithful sketch of the life and pursuits of a reading man at Cambridge.

He comes up to the University, for the most part, in a pepper-and-salt suit, with blue worsted stockings, high shoes, and a York-tan-glove complexion, with few brains, but with industry and a strong constitution. But what does he read ?-The literature of his own country? He scarcely knows his own language. The poets and orators of Greece and Rome, culling their beauties in sentiment and style ?-No. Does he peruse the histories of Greece and Rome,

and perceive the destructive mania of the people for what they miscalled Liberty? Does he observe that the liberty of the subject was the sole cause of the ruin and destruction of these classical states, and that though they were republics when they fell, it was by the fostering hands of virtuous kings that they were led from barbarism and ignorance, and that it was by the same persons that religion, morality, and the most salutary laws, were established both in Greece and Rome, but especially in the latter? Does it not occur to him, that though there was a Tarquin at Rome, there was a Codrus* at Athens; and that the patriots of Athens and of Rome, if for one moment compared to the Codrus of the one, and the Numa Pompilius of the other, sink into insignificance and contempt ? Does he, I say, "read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest" these volumes, speaking facts, and then thank God that he lives under a monarchical government? Certainly not.-He reads Greek and Latin that he may be able to translate it-to bring forward grammatical rules for every turn in the sentence, and to cite parallel passages. This is the only end he has in view. He derives not a single additional idea from the authors he may happen to peruse, nor does he wish to do so. To understand the force of the Greek particles

and rε, &c. so well as to write down how many times, and in what passages of each classic author, they are to be found, is to him one of the splendid acquirements, because it would ensure a high place at the College or University examinations. As to classic history, his sole object is to get up pedigrees, and the dates of battles, births, marriages, accidents, and offences. That history is " phi

losophy teaching by examples," is a fact entirely unknown to him: and he never once perceives how many valuable and useful lessons may be drawn, even by the dullest reader, from these far-famed pages; which, however beautiful they may be, have something yet more interesting and important to recommend them to our notice; for they record the causes of the ruin of the States of Athens and of Rome, and prove to any man with a grain of comprehension, that republicanism was then, as it has since been, and as it ever will continue, the ultimate destruction of every nation which adopts so dangerous a form of government; and that the people, the liberty-loving populace, when the mastery is theirs, have always been found more arbitrary, and more cruelly unjust, than the veriest despots of the East. But he knows nothing of all this: He is continually told, (and he believes it,) that Greece and Rome were the hot-beds of all that was good, beautiful, and praiseworthy in learning, in morals, and in politics; he is sure to remember that these were republics.

*

There is yet another class of reading men, who never look into a classical book—such are mathematicians, who refuse to believe any thing that does not admit of a mathematical proof. They labour, perhaps, more than the classical humdrunis abovementioned, and these two divisions of literary Frankenstein-mousters, having pursued the same dull routine for three years, become at last wranglers, or first-class-men; and are then turned loose into civilized society, the merest automatons, and the most babarrous savages that ever wore breeches and stood upon two legs.

There are, no doubt, many honourable exceptions to the above char

acters; but they are like angels' visits, and the plums in school-boys' puddings,-"few and far between;" and that the generality of them are precisely as I have sketched them, will be denied by few persons who have, like myself, graduated at Cambridge. Now, to be beaten by such men, will not do even at College. The contest, to be sure, is one of constitution, and not of talent; for the man who can read mathematics for twelve hours a-day, must, though he be ever so great a blockhead, inevitably take a better degree than a man who has twenty times the talent, but whose constitution will not admit of his reading more than three hours a-day.

Upon this subject I have much more to say, but I shall reserve it till I come to the confession of my peccadilloes in a Cambridge examination. For the present I shall confine myself to the conclusion of my day of Initiation-I might have said, of Probation.

The sound of St Mary's bell aroused me from my meditations, and reminded me that the hour of nine was already past. I hastened to Stamford's rooms, and the appearance they exhibited was so singular, that I almost forgot to ask the owner how he was, and to return his salutations. Over the mantle-piece, was the ancient and ever-to-be-remembered picture of an incipient Bachelor of Arts, with the words-" Post tot naufragia tutus;" at the foot of it. This was surmounted by a pair of foils, singlesticks, and a fowling-piece; and as we have no occasion for bells in College, two pair of boxing-gloves usurped the place of bell-pulls on either side of the fire-place. The card-racks were filled with impositions and chapel retributions.† In

the corners of the room were fishingrods, sticks, and whips of all sorts and of all sizes, from the tandem to the dog-whip. The walls were covered with caricatures and sporting plates; the floor was strewed with broken cups and torn gowns; a few neglect ed books, occupied the spacious and dusty shelves, like the people who are left to take care of houses, "the leases of which are to be sold." "Euclid," and "Wood's Algebra," seemed to constitute the whole of Stamford's reading," Boxiana" and Life in London," of course excepted, these were upon his sofa. Such a chaos, or dust-hole, if the reader will, are the rooms of a gay gownsman.

I was not allowed to contemplate this novel sight without interruption. Stamford observed my astonishment, and clapping me on the shoulders, exclaimed, "What, symptoms of being fresh already, Peregrine? Pr'ythee, exchange your green coat for duffield, or every body will perceive that you are but just up* and down to nothing. You take no notice of your old friends, nor do you seem inclined to give me an opportunity of introducing you to any new

ones.

This ceremony concluded we sat down to supper, and at this distance of time, I recollect nothing of it, except that it was extremely good, and very speedily dispatched. The circumstance which made the greatest impression upon me, was the appearance of our festive board upon the removal of the cloth. At one end of the table, two enormous bowls of milk-punch sent forth a delicious odour, which was rivalled by the fumes of two similar bowls of rum and brandy punch that graced the other end; while a vessel of "magnitude immense," containing bishop, in which nutmegs, cloves, and roasted lemons, were revelling together, occupied the middle of the table; for the purpose, as it seemed, of prevent

ing the abovementioned beverages of the same species, but of different genera, from going to loggerheads. Biscuits, olives, pipes, and cigars, were also to be seen, not to mention whiskey, wine, and other liquors, in case any one preferred them to punch. I am happy to say, there was no such Goth present.

To describe the jovial and noisy revelry of that night, would be impossible. The reader may easily conceive that it was not altogether orthodox, and yet I must confess, that I thought it the happiest of my life;-nay I still look back upon it with pleasure, and with my mouth watering. Every body was agreeable -all (bating the songs) was harmony

all good fellowship, and amusement. Each man had his jokes, his songs and his puns, and if the dæmon of Discord had joined the party in propria persona, I verily believe that his influence would have been losthis pestilential breath uncontaminating, and himself the only unpleasant person in the company.

The only rules and regulations which I thought at all likely to create disturbance, (but which by the by, there was no occasion to enforce― every body understood and conformed to them,) were those of making each person sing in his turn, "whether he could or not ;" and of insisting upon every one putting his glass into his pocket before he replenished it. The latter institute, they informed me, was for the purpose of preventing any gentleman's shirking, or filling upon heeltaps. This certainly appeared to me very like compelling a man either to get drunk or to spoil his coat; and the law is not altogether consistent (as some have asserted) with the term "Liberty Hall," which is usually applied to a gownsman's room. But I cannot by any means agree with these persons. The word Liberty is properly understood by very few indeed. Men have taken it into their heads that it means “do

that it is the best and most desirable thing in the world. Now, I should like to empty my wash-hand-basin upon the heads of such persons, and tell them that I liked it, and that they ought not to grumble, because "Liberty" is "doing as one likes." The fact is, that this definition is merely an individual, a selfish one, and inadmissible, because it will not apply to the community at large. Liberty is, properly speaking, the indulgence of one's inclinations, so far as it is unannoying and unprejudicial to one's neighbour. There can be no objection to a man's burning his own house provided that it stands upon his own property, and at a proper distance from the goods and chattels of other persons; but I should think it extremely unpleasant, if the flames were to spread to mine, and if my sum total of earthly possessions were to be sacrificed to his Nero-like penchant for bonfires. Moreover, I should as soon think of passing the taxes when the collector called, as I should of passing my glass at a drinking-bout. It is unreasonable to refuse contributing your share towards defraying the expences of the government of the country, in which you have the privelege of residing; and it is, (as I a sturdy stickler, think,) equally foolish to refuse to quaff your share of the liquor. If you do not like these things, go and live with Yankees, and never join a bacchanalian revel. I can tell you, gentle reader, that if I be king, or president, (I don't mean an American, but a drinking censor,) you shall pay your taxes and drink your wine; or, I'll put you in prison in the one case, and give you salt and water in the other. I would do this out of respect to the interests of the community. Do you suppose that the rest of your

or that the remainder of your companions are to drink your liquor?— But I must return of the party, or I shall be fined a bumper; notwithstanding this digression has been solely for edification to the reader, in his civil and political opinions.

I have very little more to confess respecting the events of that memorable evening. The reader will doubtless already have anticipated that I was in some degree indebted to the good offices of my friends for reaching my domicile in safety. The only excuse that I can offer for this offence is, that I was a brute ;* and it is the invariable custom at College to make such persons drink themselves into the acquaintance of senior and junior sophs.*

About three o'clock in the morning we separated. Stamford and his gyp let us carefully down into the street by means of two blankets, which, for ought I know, formed as good a staircase as ever carpenter made in this world. This was not absolutely necessary-we might have made our exit by the gate, in the usual way; but a tender solicitude for the character of our host induced us to risk spoiling our own gait, instead of using that of the College. The reputation of having parties to so late an hour is not altogether the way to keep on good terms with the "higher powers" (vulgò Dons ;) nor is it over advisable, because, if one should happen to get into any serious scrape, previous good character, and regularity, would have as much influence with the Vice-Chancellor at Cambridge, as it would with a jury at the Old Bailey.

To conclude, however, for the present we reached our respective rooms in safety, nor do I recollect that any particular mischief was com

mitted by the way. One man, indeed, upon whom the punch had made more impression than the rest, took down the sign of the "Blue Boar," and hung it over the gate of St John's; and, as we passed down

Jesus' Lane, another committed a depredation upon a board, with "men traps set here" upon it, and fastened the same to the dwelling of two maiden ladies.

GILES GREENTREE ΤΟ HIS COUSIN GEORGE GAMBLE.

Harley Street.

Dear George, HAVE now been one fortnight in town, without being able to write to you, so flurried and hurried have I been, and so nonplussed and put to it to accustom myself to the racketing irrational life which we lead; in the first place I must tell you that I am well, thanks to a good constitution, for I have been run off my legs, kept out of my natural rest, very much vexed at times, and have had to accustom myself to every thing quite opposite to our going on in the country, which, as you know, is like clock-work at the Grange and at Overshot Farm-but I must try and begin in order. I arrived per heavy coach, booked like a parcel at aunt's husband's counting house in Coleman Street, a decentish looking place enough-I got out of the hackneycoach which took me from the Saracen's Head, and was for bringing in my luggage, when a well dressed gentleman, without a hat, came out and asked me whom I wanted? I told hin it was Aunt Polly, the Alderman's lady, when the young fellow burst out a laughing, (pretty London manners, thought I,) and informed me that she had never been there in her life, and that the Alderman only called there for a few hours. "Then," said I, "your London Directory lies prettily-did not I read John Nobbs & Co., Ironmongers, ColemanStreet?" Very true," said the high dressed gentleman, "but this is only his counting-house, you will find him

at his house in Harley Street." I thanked the gentleman, whom I afterwards found out to be nothing more than a clerk; for just as I jumped into the coach, I saw him and four more chaps with pens behind their ears, leaning over a desk with ledgers and things on it, and laughing at me with all their might and main. Rub the first, thought I, and intended to complain to the Alderman, but other troubles put it out of my head; after being jolted to death, and stopping the coach five times for fear that the coachman should have driven beyond the place, for I thought we never should get there, I arrived at last; Coachee gives such a sessarara at the door, as if he wanted to knock it down, but I knew enough to comprehend that that gave me a certain degree of consequence, so I said not a word, but stepped out, and seeing a poor fellow who looked like a lad out of place, I says, "I suppose you a'nt above earning two-pence, so bear a hand with my boxes," which he accordingly did, when a handsome fellow in silk stockings, and dressed out as if he were going to a race ball, steps up to me, and asks me who I am? and what I want? I told him very civilly, that I was Giles Greentrec, aunt Polly's Nephew, and that I was come up by her invitation to be provided for in the army, or some sinecure place, as Alderman Nobbs had promised mother; he bowed and showed me in, when I found three fellows with powdered heads, and crimson laced coats, who were the ironmonger's foot men. I should have thought iron grey and a fire red.

The