Lod. I do, sir.

Piso. This is a short preludium to a challenge. Father. I have a message, sir, that much concerns you,

And for your special good. Nay, you may hear Piso. What should this fellow mean? [too. Father. There is a lady

How the poor thing begins to warm already—

[Aside.

Come to this town, (as yet a stranger here, sir)
Fair, young, and rich, both in possessions,
And all the graces that make up a woman,
A widow, and a virtuous one. It works;
He needs no broth upon't.

Lod. What of her, sir?

[Aside.

Father. No more but this; she loves you.
Lod. Loves me?
Father. Yes;

And with a strong affection, but a fair one.
If you be wise and thankful, you are made :
There's the whole matter.

Lod. I am sure I hear this.

Father. Here is a ring, sir, of no little value; Which, after she had seen you at a window, She bade me haste, and give it; when she blush'd Like a blown rose.

Lod. But pray, sir, by your leaveMethinks your years should promise no ill meaning. Father. I am no bawd, nor cheater, nor a courser Of broken-winded women: If you fear me, I'll take my leave, and let my lady use A fellow of more form; an honester I am sure she cannot.

Lod. Stay! you have confirm'd me:
Yet let me feel; you are in health?
Father. I hope so;

My water's well enough, and my pulse.
Lod. Then

All may be excellent. Pray pardon me;

For I am like a boy that had found money,
Afraid I dream still.

Piso. Sir, what kind of woman,

Of what proportion, is your lady?

Lod. Ay?

Piso. Well, thou hast fool's luck. Should I live as long

As an old oak, and say my prayers hourly,

I should not be the better of a penny.

I think the devil be my ghostly father!

Upon my conscience, I am full as handsome;

I am sure I have more wit, and more performance, Which is a pretty matter.

Father. Do you think, sir,

That your friend, Signor Piso, will be constant
Unto my lady? you should know him well.
Piso. Who? Signor Piso ?
Father. Yes, the gentleman.
Piso. Why, you are wide, sir.
Father. Is not his name Piso?
Piso. No; mine is Piso.
Father. How!

Piso. It is indeed, sir;
And his is Lodovic.

SCENE II.

Enter ANGELO and JULIO.

Ang. How now! the news?

Father. Well, passing well; I have 'em Both in a leash, and made right for my purpose. Julio. I am glad on't. I must leave you. Ang. Whither, man?

Julio. If all go right, I may be fast enough too. Ang. I ery you mercy, sir! I know your meanClora's the woman; she's Frank's bedfellow. [ing: Commend me to 'em; and go, Julio,

Bring 'em to supper all, to grace this matter:
They'll serve for witnesses.

Julio. I.will. Farewell!

[Exeunt JULIO at one Door; ANGELO and Father at another.

Frank. Alas, my fortune, Clora!

Clora. Now, Frank, see what a kind of man you That loves you when he's drunk. Frank. If so,

[love,

'Faith I would marry him: My friends, I hope, Would make him drink.

Clora. 'Tis well consider'd, Frank, He has such pretty humours then. Besides, Being a soldier, 'tis better he should love you When he's drunk, than when he's sober; for then He will be sure to love you the greatest part on's life.

Frank. And were not I a happy woman then? Clora. That ever was born, Frank, i'faith. Fred. How now, what says he?

Enter FABRITIO.

Fab. 'Faith, you may

As well 'tice a dog up with a whip and bell,
As him by telling him of love and women:
He swears they mock him.

Fred. Look how my sister weeps.
Fub. Why, who can help it?

Fred. Yes, you may safely swear she loves him.
Fab. Why, so I did; and may do all the oaths
Arithmetic can make, ere he believe me;
And since he was last drunk, he is more jealous
They would abuse him. If we could persuade him
She loved, he would embrace it.

Fred. She herself

Shall bate so much of her own modesty,
To swear it to him, with such tears as now
You see rain from her.

Fab. I believe 'twould work;

But would you have her do't i' th' open street? Or, if you would, he'll run away from her. How shall we get him hither?

Let one o' th' maids take a good bowl of water, Or say it be a piss-pot, and pour't on's head. Fab. Content! Hang me, if I like not

To cast on't rarely for no question

'Tis an approved receipt to fetch such a fellow.
Take all the woman-kind in this house, betwixt
The age of one and one hundred, and let them
Take unto them a pot or a bowl, containing
Seven quarts or upwards, and let them never leave
Till the above-named pot or bowl become full ;
Then let one of them stretch out her arm,

pour it

and On his head, and, probatum est, 'twill fetch him; For in his anger he will run up, and then Let us alone.

Clora. Go you and do it. Frank. Good Clora, no.

[Exit Maid.

Clora. Away, I say, and do it. Never fear; We have enough of that water ready distill'd. Frank. Why, this will make him mad, Fabritio ; He'll neither love me drunk, nor sober, now. Fab. I warrant you. What, is the wench come up?

I'll bring him presently. Do you all stand
At the street-door, the maids, and all, to watch
When I come back, and have some private place
To shuffle me into; for he shall follow
In fury, but I know I can outrun him:
As he comes in, clap all fast hold on him,
And use your own discretions.

Fred. We will do it.

t t

dropping

Under their window, and would not come up.
Jac. Sir, I suspect now, by your idle talk,
Your hand was in't; which, if I once believe,
Be sure you shall account to me.

Fab. The gentlewomen and the maids have counted

To you already; the next turn I see is mine.
Jac. Let me die, but this is very strange! Good
Do not provoke me so.
[Fabritio,

Fab. Provoke you? You're grown The strangest fellow! there's no keeping company Pish! take you that. [with you. [FABRITIO gives him a box o' th' ear. JACOMO draws his sword.

Jac. Oh, all the devils! Stand, slave!
Fab. Follow me if thou dar'st.

Jac. Stay, coward, stay!

[Exit.

[Exit running.

Let not this boldness make me be believed
To be immodest! If there were a way
More silently to be acquainted with you,
God knows, that I would chuse; but as it is,
Take it in plainness: I do love you more
Than you do your content. If you refuse
To pity me, I'll never cease to weep;
And when mine eyes be out, I will be told
How fast the tears I shed for you do fall;
And if they do not flow abundantly,

I'll fetch a sigh shall make 'em start and leap,
As if the fire were under.

Jac. Fine mocking, fine mocking!

Fred. Mocking? Look how she weeps.

Jac. Does she counterfeit crying too?

Fred. Behold how the tears flow! Or pity her,

Or never more be call'd a man.

Jac. How's this?

Soft you, soft you, my masters!
She should be in earnest?

Is't possible, [think you,

Clora. Earnest? Ay, in earnest :
She is a fool to break so many sleeps,
That would have been sound ones,
And venture such a face, and so much life,
For e'er an humorous ass i' th' world.
Frank. Why, Clora,

I have known you cry as much for Julio,
That has not half his worth. All night you write
And weep, too much, I fear; I do but what
I should.

Clora. If I do write, I am answer'd, Frank.
Frank. I would I might be so !

Jac. Good Frederick, let me go;

I would fain try if that thing do not counterfeit. Fred. Give me your sword then.

Jac. No; but take my word,

As I am man, I will not hurt a creature
Under this roof, before I have deliver'd
Myself, as I am now, into your hands,
Or have your full consent.

Fred. It is enough.

[They let him loose. Jac. Gentlewoman, I pray you let me feel your I am an infidel, if she do not weep! [face :Stay; where's my handkerchief? I'll wipe

The old wet off: The fresh tears come! Pox on't, I am

A handsome gracious fellow amongst women, And knew't not.-Gentlewoman, how should I know

These tears are for me? Is not your mother dead ? Frank. By Heaven, they are for you!

Jac. 'Slight, I'll have my head curl'd and powder'd

To-morrow by break of day. If you love me,
I pray you kiss me; for if I love you,

It shall be such love as I will not be
Ashamed of.-If this be a mock,

It is the heartiest and the sweetest mock
That e'er I tasted. Mock me so again!

[Kisses.

[Kisses again. Fred. Fy, Jacomo! why do you let her kneel So long?

Jac. It's true; I had forgot it, and should have done [Lifts her up. This twelvemonth: Pray you rise.-Frederick, If I could all this while have been persuaded She could have loved me, dost thou think I had Not rather kiss her than another should? And yet you may gull me, for aught I know; But if you do, hell take me if I do not cut All your throats sleeping!

Fred. Oh, do not think of such a thing.

Jac. Otherwise, if she be in earnest, the short is, I am.

Frank. Alas, I am.

Jac. And I did not think it possible any woman Could have liked this face: It's good for nothing;

Clora. Yes,

[is it?

It is worth forty shillings to pawn, being lined Almost quite through with velvet.

Frank. 'Tis better than your Julio's.

Jac. Thou thinkest so;

But otherwise, in faith, it is not, Frank.

Enter FABRITIO.

[Kisses her.

Thou saidst thou sentest for to solemnise the nuptials?

Father. They will; I look'd for 'em ere this.

Enter JULIO, JACOMO, FABRITIO, FRANK, and Clora.
Julio. By your leave all.
Father. They are here, sir.
Julio. Especially, fair lady,

I ask your pardon; to whose marriage-bed

I wish all good success! I have here brought you

Such guests as can discern your happiness,
And best do know how to rejoice at it
(For such a fortune they themselves have run ):
The worthy Jacomo, and his fair bride;
Noble Fabritio, (whom this age of peace

Has not yet taught to love aught but the wars)
And his true friend, this lady, who is but

Father. Oh, Lord, sir, she's so pester'd

Fab. Now will the sport be; it runs right as Julio Told us.

Lod. Fair lady, health to you! Some words I have, that require an utterance more private Than this place can afford.

Lelia. I'll call my husband;

All business I hear with his ears now.

Lod. Good madam, no; (but I perceive your jest) You have no husband; I am the very man That walk'd the streets so comely.

Lelia. Are you so?

Lod. Yes, 'faith; when Cupid first did prick
I am not cruel; but the love begun [your heart.
I' th' street I'll satisfy i' th' chamber fully.
Lelia. To ask a madman whether he be mad
Were but an idle question; if you be,

I do not speak to you; but if you be not,
Walk in the streets again, and there perhaps
I may dote on you; here I not endure you.
Lod. Good madam, stay; do not you know this
ring?

Lelia. Yes, it was mine; I sent it by my man
To change, and so he did; it has a blemish,
And this he brought me for it: Did you change it?
Are you a goldsmith?

Lod. Sure the world is mad!—

Sirrah, did you not bring me this ring from your

lady?

Father. Yes, surely, sir, did I; but your worship

Ang. Your father-in-law,

As sure as this is widow Lelia.

Piso. How? widow Lelia?

Father. I'faith, 'tis she, son.

Lod. Ha, ha, ha! let my provision go!

I am glad I have miss'd the woman.
Piso. Have you put

A whore upon me?

Lelia. By heaven, you do me wrong! I have a heart as pure as any woman's; And I mean to keep it so for ever.

Father. There is

No starting now, son; if you offer it,
I can compel you; her estate is great,
But all made o'er to me, before this match:
Yet if you use her kindly, (as I swear
I think she will deserve) you shall enjoy it
During your life, all, save some slender piece
I will reserve for my own maintenance;
And if God bless you with a child by her,
It shall have all.

Piso. So I may have the means,

I do not much care what the woman is.Come, my sweetheart! as long as I shall find Thy kisses sweet, and thy means plentiful, Let people talk their tongues out.

Lelia. They may talk

Of what is pass'd; but ell that is to come
Shall be without occasions.

Julio. Shall we not make

Piso and Lodovic friends?

Jack. Hang 'em, they dare not be enemies; Or, if they be, the danger is not great. Welcome, Frederick !

Enter FREDERICK,

Fred. First, joy unto you all!

And next, I think we shall have wars. Jac. Give me some wine!

I'll drink to that.