DE GARD, a noble stayed Gentleman, that, being newly lighted from his Travels, assists his Sister ORIANA, in her Chase of MIRABEL the WILD-GOOSE. LA CASTRE, the indulgent Father to MIRABEL. MIRABEL, the WILD-GOOSE, a travelled Monsieur, and great defier of all Ladies in the way of Marriage, otherwise their much loose Servant, at last caught by the despised ORIANA.

PINAC, his Fellow-Traveller, of a lively spirit, and Servant to the no less sprightly LILLIA-BIANCA. BELLEUR, Companion to both, of a stout blunt humour, in Love with ROSALURA.

NANTOLET, Father to ROSALURA and LILLIA-BIANCA.

crown stomach.

De Ga. Thank ye!

But you have often seen him in your journies,
And bring me some fair news.

De Ga. Your son is well, sir,

And grown a proper gentleman; he's well, and lusty.
Within this eight hours I took leave of him,
And over-hied him, having some slight business
That forced me out o' th' way: I can assure you,
He will be here to-night.

La Ca. You make me glad, sir,

For, o' my faith, I almost long to see him!
Methinks he has been away-

De Ga. 'Tis but your tenderness;

What are three years? a love-sick wench will allow it.

His friends, that went out with him, are come back too,

Belleur, and young Pinac: He bid me say little, Because he means to be his own glad messenger.

La Ca. I thank you for this news, sir. He shall be welcome,

And his friends too: Indeed, I thank you heartily!
And how (for I dare say you will not flatter him)
Has Italy wrought on him? has he mew'd yet
His wild fantastic toys? They say, that climate
Is a great purger of those humorous fluxes.
How is he improved, I pray you?

De Ga. No doubt, sir, well.

He has borne himself a full and noble gentleman; To speak him further is beyond my charter.

La Ca. I am glad to hear so much good. Come,
I see

You long to enjoy your sister; yet I must entreat
Before I go, to sup with me to-night,
And must not be denied.

De Ga. I am your servant.

[you,

La Ca. Where you shall meet fair, merry, and noble company;

My neighbour Nantolet; and his two fair daughters. De Ga. Your supper's season'd well, sir: I shall wait upon you.

La Ca. Till then I'll leave ye: And you are [Exit.

once more welcome!

De Ga. I thank you, noble sir!-Now, Oriana, How have ye done since I went? have ye had your And your mind free? [health well?

Ori. You see, I am not bated;

Merry, and eat my meat.

De Ga. A good preservative.

And how have you been used? You know, Oriana, Upon my going out, at your request,

I left your portion in La Castre's hands,

The main means you must stick to: For that reason,
And 'tis no little one, I ask you, sister,
With what humanity he entertains you,
And how you find his courtesy ?

Ori. Most ready :

I can assure you, sir, I am used most nobly.
De Ga. I am glad to hear it: But, I pr'ythee

tell me,
And tell me true, what end had you, Oriana,
In trusting your money here? He is no kinsman,
Nor any tie upon him of a guardian;
Nor dare I think you doubt my prodigality.

Ori. No, certain, sir; none of all this provoked Another private reason.

De Ga. 'Tis not private,

[me;

Nor carried so; 'tis common, my fair sister;
Your love to Mirabel: Your blushes tell it.
'Tis too much known, and spoken of too largely;
And with no little shame I wonder at it.

Ori. Is it a shame to love?

De Ga. To love undiscreetly:

A virgin should be tender of her honour, Close, and secure.

Ori. I am as close as can be,

And stand upon as strong and honest guards too; Unless this warlike age need a portcullis.

Yet, I confess, I love him.

De Ga. Hear the people.

Ori. Now I say, hang the people! he that dares
Believe what they say, dares be mad, and give
His mother, nay, his own wife, up to rumour.
All grounds of truth, they build on, is a tavern ;
And their best censure's sack, sack in abundance;
For as they drink, they think: They ne'er speak
modestly,

Unless the wine be poor, or they want money.
Believe them? Believe Amadis de Gaul,
The Knight o' th' Sun, or Palmerin of England;
For these, to them, are modest and true stories!
Pray understand me; if their tongues be truth,
As if in vino veritas be an oracle,

What woman is, or has been ever, honest?
Give 'em but ten round cups, they'll swear Lucretia
Died not for want of power to resist Tarquin,
But want of pleasure that he stay'd no longer :
And Portia, that was famous for her piety

To her loved lord, they'll face ye out, died o' th' pox.
De Ga. Well, there is something, sister.
Ori. If there be, brother,

'Tis none of their things; 'tis not yet so monstrous: My thing is marriage; and, at his return,

I hope to put their squint eyes right again.
De Ga. Marriage? 'Tis true, his father is a
rich man,

Rich both in land and money; he his heir,
A young and handsome man, I must confess too;
But of such qualities, and such wild flings,
Such admirable imperfections, sister,
(For all his travel, and bought experience)
I should be loth to own him for my brother.
Methinks, a rich mind in a state indifferent
Would prove the better fortune.

Ori. If he be wild,

The reclaiming him to good and honest, brother, Will make much for my honour; which, if I prosShall be the study of my love, and life too. [per,

De Ga. You say well; 'would he thought as

well, and loved too!

He marry? he'll be hang'd first; he knows no more
What the conditions and the ties of love are,
The honest purposes and grounds of marriage,
Nor will know, nor be ever brought to endeavour,
Than I do how to build a church: He was ever
A loose and strong defier of all order;
His loves are wanderers, they knock at each door,
And taste each dish, but are no residents.
Or say, he may be brought to think of marriage,
(As 'twill be no small labour) thy hopes are stran-

gers:

I know, there is a labour'd match now follow'd, Now at this time, for which he was sent for home too:

Be not abused; Nantolet has two fair daughters, And he must take his choice.

Ori. Let him take freely :

For all this I despair not; my mind tells me
That I, and only I, must make him perfect;
And in that hope I rest.

De Ga. Since you're so confident,

Prosper your hope! I'll be no adversary;
Keep yourself fair and right, he shall not wrong

you.

Or. When I forget my virtue, no man know me! [Exeunt.

SCENE II-A Street before the same House. Enter MIRABEL, PINAC, BELLEUR, and Servants.

Mir. Welcome to Paris, once more, gentlemen!
We have had a merry and a lusty ordinary,
And wine, and good meat, and a bouncing reckoning!
And let it go for once; 'tis a good physic:
Only the wenches are not for my diet;

They are too lean and thin, their embraces brawn-
Give me the plump Venetian, fat, and lusty, [fallen.
That meets me soft and supple; smiles upon me,
As if a cup of full wine leap'd to kiss me;
These slight things I affect not.

Pinac. They are ill-built;
Pin-buttock'd, like your dainty Barbaries,

And weak i' th' pasterns; they'll endure no hardness.

Mir. There's nothing good or handsome bred amongst us:

Till we are travell'd, and live abroad, we are coxcombs.

You talk of France; a slight unseason'd country, Abundance of gross food, which makes us blockheads!

We are fair set out indeed, and so are fore-horses:
Men say, we are great courtiers; men abuse us !
We are wise, and valiant too; non credo, signor!
Our women the best linguists; they are parrots;
O' this side the Alps they're nothing but mere
drolleries.

Ha! Roma la Santa, Italy for my money!
Their policies, their customs, their frugalities,
Their courtesies so open, yet so reserved too,
As, when you think you are known best, you're a
stranger;

Their very pick-teeth speak more man than we do,
And season of more salt!

Pinac. 'Tis a brave country;

Not pester'd with your stubborn precise puppies,
That turn all useful and allow'd contentments
To scabs and scruples: Hang 'em, capon-
worshippers!

Bel. I like that freedom well, and like their women too,

And would fain do as others do; but I'm so bashful, So naturally an ass-Look ye, I can look upon 'em, And very willingly I go to see 'em,

(There's no man willinger) and I can kiss 'em,
And make a shift-

Mir. But if they chance to flout you,
Or say, "You are too bold! fy, sir, remember!
I pray, sit further off-

Bel. 'Tis true-I am humbled,

I am gone; I confess ingenuously, I am silenced; The spirit of amber cannot force me answer.

Pinac. Then would I sing and dance

Bel. You have wherewithal, sir.
Pinac. And charge her up again.
Bel. I can be hang'd first;

Yet, where I fasten well, I am a tyrant.
Mir. Why, thou dar'st fight?
Bel. Yes, certainly I dare fight,
And fight with any man at any weapon;

avoiding it)

And stand all hazards, fly at all games bravely; They'll say, you went out like an ox, and return'd

Bel. I shall make danger, sure. [like an ass else.
Mir. I am sent for home now,

I know it is to marry; but my father shall pardon
Although it be a weighty ceremony,
[me:
And may concern me hereafter in my gravity,
I will not lose the freedom of a traveller ;
A new strong lusty bark cannot ride at one anchor.
Shall I make divers suits to shew to the same eyes?
'Tis dull and home-spun ! study several pleasures,
And want employments for 'em? I'll be hang d

first!

Tie me to one smock? make my travels fruitless?
I'll none of that; for every fresh behaviour,
By your leave, father, I must have a fresh mistress,
And a fresh favour too.

Bel. I like that passingly ;

As many as you will, so they be willing,
Willing, and gentle, gentle.

Pinac. There's no reason

A gentleman, and a traveller, should be clapt up,
(For 'tis a kind of bilboes to be married)
Before he manifest to the world his good parts:
Tug ever, like a rascal, at one oar?
Give me the Italian liberty!

Mir. That I study,

And that I will enjoy. Come, go in gentlemen ; There mark how I behave myself, and follow.

Sir, here's a merry wench-let him look to himself;
All heart, i'faith !-may chance to startle him;
For all his care and travell'd caution,
May creep into his eye: If he love gravity,
Affect a solemn face, there's one will fit him.
La Ca. So young and so demure ?
Nant. She is my daughter,

Else I would tell you, sir, she is a mistress
Both of those manners, and that modesty,
You would wonder at: She is no often-speaker,
But, when she does, she speaks well; nor no reveller,
Yet she can dance, and has studied the court
elements,

And sings, as some say, handsomely; if a woman,
With the decency of her sex, may be a scholar,
I can assure you, sir, she understands too.
La Ca. These are fit garments, sir.
Lug. Thank them that cut 'em!

Yes, they are handsome women, they have handsome
Pretty becoming parts.

La Ca. 'Tis like they have, sir.

[parts too,

Lug. Yes, yes, and handsome education they have had too,

Had it abundantly; they need not blush at it:
I taught it, I'll avouch it.

La Ca. You say well, sir.

[sir:

Lug. I know what I say, sir, and I say but right,
I am no trumpet of their commendations
Before their father; else I should say farther.
La Ca. 'Pray you, what's this gentleman?
Nant. One that lives with me, sir;

A man well bred and learn'd, but blunt and bitter;
Yet it offends no wise man; I take pleasure in't:
Many fair gifts he has, in some of which,
That lie most easy to their understandings
He has handsomely bred up my girls, I thank him.
Lug. I have put it to 'em, that's my part, I have
urged it;

It seems, they are of years now to take hold on't.
Nant. He's wond'rous blunt.

La Ca. By my faith, I was afraid of him: Does he not fall out with the gentlewomen sometimes?

Nant. No, no; he's that way moderate and

discreet, sir.

Ros. If he did, we should be too hard for him. Lug. Well said, sulphur!

Too hard for thy husband's head, if he wear not

armour.

Nant. Many of these bickerings, sir.

La Ca. I am glad, they are no oracles!

Sure as I live, he beats them, he's so puissant. Enter MIRABEL, PINAC, BElleur, De Gard, and

ORIANA.

Ori. Well, if you do forget

Mir. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace!

I know thou art a pretty wench; I know thou lov'st me;

Preserve it till we have a fit time to discourse on't,

And these fair ladies.

Nant. Monsieur Mirabel,

I am much affected with your fair return, sir;
You bring a general joy.

Mir. I bring you service,
And these bright beauties, sir.

Nant. Welcome home, gentlemen! Welcome with all my heart!

Bel. Pinac. We thank you, sir.

La Ca. Your friends will have their share too. Bel. Sir, we hope

They'll look upon us, though we show like strangers. Nant. Monsieur De Gard, I must salute you

Do what they can to break the boughs they grew
I wish you many years, and many riches, [on
And pleasures to enjoy 'em : But for marriage,
I neither yet believe in't, nor affect it,
Nor think it fit.

La Ca. You'll render me your reasons?
Mir. Yes, sir both short and pithy, and these
they are:

You would have me marry a maid?

La Ca. A maid? what else?

Mir. Yes, there be things called widows, dead men's wills,

I never loved to prove those; nor never long'd yet To be buried alive in another man's cold monu

ment.

And there be maids appearing, and maids being: The appearing are fantastic things, mere shadows;

Has clapt 'em on new faces. The maids being
A man may venture on, if he be so mad to marry,
If he have neither fear before his eyes, nor fortune;
And let him take heed how he gather these too;
For look you, father, they are just like melons,
Musk-melons are the emblems of these maids;
Now they are ripe, now cut 'em they taste plea-
And are a dainty fruit, digested easily; [santly,
Neglect this present time, and come to-morrow,
They are so ripe, they are rotten-gone! their

sweetness

Run into humour, and their taste to surfeit!
La Ca. Why, these are now ripe, son.
Mir. I'll try them presently,

And, if I like their taste

La Ca. 'Pray you please yourself, sir.

Mir. That liberty is my due, and I'll maintain it. -Lady, what think you of a handsome man now? Ros. A wholesome too, sir?

Mir. That's as you make your bargain.

A handsome, wholesome man then, and a kind man,
To cheer your heart up, to rejoice you, lady?
Ros. Yes, sir, I love rejoicing.
Mir. To lie close to you?

Close as a cockle? keep the cold nights from you?
Ros. That will be look'd for too; our bodies ask
Mir. And get two boys at every birth? [it.
Kos. That's nothing;

I have known a cobler do it, a poor thin cobler,
A cobler out of mouldy cheese perform it,
Cabbage, and coarse black thread; methinks, a

gentleman

Should take foul scorn to have an awl out-name him.
Two at a birth? Why, every house-dove has it:
That man that feeds well, promises as well too,
I should expect indeed something of worth from.
You talk of two?

Mir. She would have me get two dozen,
Like buttons at a birth.

Ros.. You love to brag, sir;

If you proclaim these offers at your marriage,
(You are a pretty-timber'd man; take heed!)
They may be taken hold of, and expected,
Yes, if not hoped for at a higher rate too.

Mir. I will take heed, and thank you for your Father, what think you?

La Ca. 'Tis a merry gentlewoman; Will make, no doubt, a good wife.

Mir. Not for me:

I marry her, and, happily, get nothing;

[counsel.

In what a state am I then, father? I shall suffer, For anything I hear to th' contrary, more majorum; I were as sure to be a cuckold, father,

A gentleman of antler

La Ca. Away, away, fool!

Mir. As I am sure to fail her expectation. I had rather get the pox than get her babies! La Ca. You are much to blame! If this do not

affect you, Pray try the other; she's of a more demure way. Bel. That I had but the audacity to talk thus ! [Aside.

I love that plain-spoken gentlewoman admirably;
And, certain, I could go as near to please her,
If down-right doing-She has a perilous counte-
If I could meet one that would believe me, [nance !
And take my honest meaning without circum-

stance

Mir. You shall have your will, sir; I will try the other;

But 'twill be to small use.-I hope, fair lady,
(For, methinks, in your eyes, I see more mercy)
You will enjoin your lover a less penance;
And though I'll promise much, as men are liberal,
And vow an ample sacrifice of service,
Yet your discretion, and your tenderness,
And thriftiness in love, good huswife's carefulness
To keep the stock entire-

Lil. Good sir, speak louder,

That these may witness too, you talk of nothing:

I should be loth alone to bear the burthen

Of so much indiscretion.

Mir. Hark ye, hark ye!

Ods-bobs, you are angry, lady!

Lil. Angry? no, sir;

I never own'd an anger to lose poorly.

Mir. But you can love, for all this; and delight For all your set austerity, to hear

Of a good husband, lady?

Lil. You say true, sir;

[too,