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worlds would not tempt me to racterises the late king, George part with it !"
the Third. Towards the end of DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH.-In the month of January, 1805, at a one of the campaigns of this time when he was much occupigreat general, he wanted to de- ed in preparations for the instalceive the enemy by a seeming lation of the knights of the Garencampment, and, for this pur- ter; and while conversing on pose, gave orders for intrench- the subject with some persons of ments to be made accordingly. high rank at Windsor, one of Whilst this was accomplishing, them, a nobleman, deservedly and the duke, in person, visiting distinguished by his favour, said the lines, he overheard one of the -“Sir, are not the new knights, soldiers muttering to himself, now meant to be installed, obligwhilst at work, we shall run ed to take the sacrament before away to-night, for all this.” Re- the ceremony?" Nothing could peating this two or three times assuredly have been further from roused the duke's curiosity, and his as, than to have asked the he desired one of his aids-de- question in a manner capable of camp to find out the man's name implying any levity or irreverand regiment, which he noted in ence. Nevertheless, his majesty his pocket-book. At midnight instantly changed countenance ; the retreat was sounded, and the and, assuming a severe look, afwhole army were ordered to ter à nioment's pause" No," march as fast as possible to ano- replied he ; " that religious inther situation, many miles dis- stitution is not mixed with our tant. When this accom- profane ceremonies. Even at plished, the duke sent for the the time of my coronation, I was man, and asked him his reason very unwilling to take the sacrafor saying we should run away ment. But when they told me that night. The man at that it was indispensible, and first rather confounded at the that I must receive it, before I question, but being encouraged approached the communion table, as well as commanded by the I took off the bauble from my duke to explain himself, he re- head. The sacrament, my lord, plied, “ Because, my general, I is not to be profaned by our did not think (notwithstanding Gothic institutions."
The sethe order for intrenching our- verity of the king's manner, selves) that we were in a proper while he pronounced these words, situation to do so. The duke impressed all present, and susinstantly saw the man's genius pended, for a short time, the for his profession, and had liber- conversation. Even the tempoality enough to reward it pro- rary privation of his intellect did perly; he gave him an ensign's not affect his regard to the ascommission on the spot, pro- surances that he had given premoted him, before the end of the vious to such alienation of mind ; campaign, to a captaincy, and he nor, which is still more wonderrose, some years afterwards, to ful, obliterate them from his rethe rank of a lieutenant-colonel. collection. On his recovery
His LATE MAJESTY. The fol- from the severest visitation lowing anecdote virtually cha- under which he had laboured,
has said to his minis. cursing lord. Londonderry, and ter, in the first moments of the ministers most vehemently, his convalescence- Previous I ventured to ask him the reason to my attack or illness, I made -“Reason !" growled he, such and such promises; they son enough! I'll be shot if I've must be effectuated." How deep caught three fish this morning! a sense of honour, and how and those that I have are strong a moral principle must cursed small, they.re good for have animated such a prince !
nothing !" THE PARSON IN A STROM-A A Scotch newspaper tells the parson about to embark, for the following anecdote of the celefirst time, upon a long voyage, brated advocate, Mr. J. Cand expressing some alarm as to Mr. C. while limping down the the perils of the sea, was told by High-street of Edinburgh, from an old seaman, who had encoun- the court of session, overheard a tered many a gale, that if a storm young lady whisper, rather too arose he need be under no ap- loudly, to a companion, " That's prehension so long as the sailors the famous J. C, the lame cursed and swore ; but if they lawyer.” Upon which he turned ceased to do this, or went to round, and with his wonted prayer, the chance was that they force, perhaps, a little of not would soon be all at the bottom. unwonted coarseness, exclaimed The ship had not been many days -" You lie, ma'am! I am a on her passage when a strong lame man, but not a lame lawgale arose, which soon increased yer!" The following anecdote to a tempest: the vessel was of the same gentleman will shew tossed up and down, the sails his readiness at reply. In pleadrattled, and after a time one of ing before the House of Lords, the passengers, in great agita- one day, he happened to say, in tion went upon deck, but pre- his broad accent-" In plaan sently returned, and, addressing English, my lords." Upon which himself to the parson, said, “Good lord Eldon, jocosely remarkedHeaven, what will become of “ In plain Scotch you mean, Mr. us! I declare the oaths and im- C.” The prompt advocate in. precations of the sailors above stantly rejoined Nae matter! are quite alarming—it is enough In plaan common sense, ma lord, of itself to sink the ship.” Curs- and that's the same in a' laning and swearing are they?" says guages.' His client lost nothing the parson;
“ God be praised! by the turn. we are all safe.
ANGLING. — Some time ago, Bon-Mot.-Some one observ- two young gentlemen of Duming that Tom Dibdin had said fries, while fishing at Dalswinton he would never write another loch, having expended their play, a friend immediately re- stock of worms, &c. had recourse marked, “ That's the best thing to the expedient of picking out Tom Dibdin ever said !”
the eyes of the dead perch, and DISCONTENT.- -I hate hearing attaching them to their hooks people murmur against their a bait which the perch is known rulers without some sufficient to take quite as readily as any cause ; so hearing a fisherman other. One of the perch caught
in this manner struggled so much joke! One of the most bloody when taken out of the water, wars in Switzerland is said to that the hook had no sooner been have arisen from an equivocal loosened from its mouth, than expression which was misappreit came in contact with one of its hended by the duke of Bureyes, and actually tore it out. gundy. The pain occasioned by this ac- TRADING AUTHORS.-(From the cident only made the fish struggle anecdotes of A. Stephens, esq. of the harder, until at last it fairly Park-house, Chelsea.)-In Lonslipped through the holder's don and Paris, where artificial fingers, and again escaped to its employments are carried to the native element. The disappointe highest degree of refinement, ed fisher, still retaining the eye there are tribes of men who live of the aquatic fugitive, adjusted by writing for the public press. it on the hook, and again com- Periodical works must be filled. mitted his line to the waters. A certain number of pages are After a very short interval, on pledged to appear; and origipulling up the line, he was as- nality of form and composition tonished to find the identical are expected. Hence there is perch that had eluded his grasp constant employment in reviews, à few minutes before, and which magazines, and newspapers for literally perished by swallowing its those who combine some talent own eye - Dumfries Courier. with much industry. TranslatABSURD
OF WARS.- ing, too, is another source of Without considering the compli- literary employment; and editeation of misery which has at- ing new editions of books, and tended wars, we are tempted index-making, are other sources. occasionally to smile at the ex- As quality is not reducible to any treme absurdity of their origin. previous standard, payment is Phillip I. of France, speaking to generally made by the printed one of the courtiers of William sheet; and, the measure being the conqueror, sáid—“When superficial, it is not to be wonwill the fat monster get out of dered at that the productions are bed?" This was reported to also superficial. Thought is the William, who was só incensed at material of the writer by the the speech, that he ordered his sheet, and is the gold with which ambassador to tell the king of he contrives to gild a certain France, that when the fat number of pages. Of course, he monster should be up, he would lays it on in proportion to the go and bé churched at St. Ge- price he is paid ; and we have nevieve, in Paris, with ten thou- single and double gilding, and sánd lances instead of tapers. plating of various thickness in “He kept his word,” says the literature, as well as in the meFrench historian,
entering tallic arts. It is amusing to carry French Vexin, where he com- this idea through the pages of a mitted a thousand ravages, and review or magazine. The writers would have done greater evits, and the readers are constantly at ħad not death carried him off in issue. The former is endeavourthis expedition. Behold a war ing to beat out his small stock of that was occasioned by a mere thoughts into tħe greatest num
ber of pages-is eking them out The Edinburgh Review, gave ten by antitheses, figures, compari- guineas for essays; the Quarsons, and well-rounded periods; terly followed at fifteen : others while the weary reader is vainly have given as much; and while looking for original ideas and the public, or any considerable useful conclusions. Their ob- portion of the public, are gratijects, however, are different. fied by long-winded essays, this The author must eat, and must species of publication will sucfill a certain number of pages; ceed. I was delighted in Paris and the reader must be content to find that the corps de gens de if he catch one good thought in lettres consist, for the most part, a thousand words, or in ten of men of small independent thousand, if the style be easy, fortunes, and could even boast of graceful, and flowing. Small men of wealth ; whereas, in Lontype and matters of fact are the don, where every thing is so bane of authorship. A close- commercial, this class consists printed page, and the details of chiefly of needy adventurers, deart and science, are as much pendant from month to month dreaded by a practised author, as on the exertions of their brains. a whipping-cart by a pickpocket. Of the many anecdotes of the On the contrary, essays about lower classes that have come to nothing but trifles, or common- our notice, none, perhaps, is place topics ; or reviews, which more characteristic than that of admit of long quotations, strung a Newhaven fisherwoman. А together with short paragraphs, gentleman happened to pass just are perennial blessings. Of the as she was stepping out of her former, an industrious writer husband's boat, and eager to cannot produce a sheet in a communicate the felicity which month, while of the latter, he she had enjoyed, she exclaimed can produce a sheet, day after - Oa, serr! I hae seen the day, before he dines. In my king, our ain king George, an'a early days, the Monthly Review bonnie, sonsie, wiselike carle he used to give three guineas a is. God bless him !-Gin I war sheet, or four shillings a page, a man I wad fetcht for him quotations included ; and it tran- mysel, as lang as there was a scended and has outlived the muscle shell in my crael.”—EdinCritical, because the latter paid burgh Star. but two, and, therefore, only had Ă PUN DESPERATE.—A Lanthe aid of those writers who cashire gentleman having had could not get engagements in the misfortune to hurt his leg, the Monthly. The magazines, which occasioned him to be conin general, paid but two, but the fined to the house, his friends, European, under Perry, paid wishing to enliven the tedium of three. Phillips got the ill-will confinement, called to chat with of the other proprietors, by pay- him ; in the course of their coning five and upwards ; but then versation they asked him “ How he undid his authors by his small he liked the Ayreshire Legatees?" type, and by his matters of fact, The invalid replied - Very of which he exhausts them, in well; but at present I would succession, in a few months. prefer a Lancashire leg at ease."
the other, the inhuman wretch (From the Boston Papers.)
placed himself in the middle of
the road, and threatened to be TRINIDAD, JUNE 15.-Yester- the death of any one that should day morning, one of the most attempt to approach to take him : diabolical acts of murder was however, one serjeant Cox, of perpetrated in this island.
the same regiment, who was About seven o'clock, a private passing by, and hearing his of the third West India regiment, threats, made a bold attempt named Ratcliff, went to the house upon the assassin, who dischargof a free black woman, about ed the pistol at him ; but, missone hundred yards from new ing his mark, thrust his knife burying-ground, at Lapeyrouze, into the serjeant's arm, which with whom he had previously did not, however, discourage had some difference, and, with him ; and he finally succeeded in out any provocation on her part, taking him, having stunned him stabbed her twice with a sharp by a blow. At this time the knife. As the wretch inflicted chief of the police, who had rethe wounds, the woman ran out ceived information of what had of the house, pursued by her as- occurred, arrived and committed sailant for a short distance, when the murderer to jail, and had the he returned, and found the infants, who were not quite dead, daughter of the said woman, carried to the Military hospital. who had that instant entered ; he They were accompanied by their immediately assaulted her with mother and sister. We learn the same knife, and wounded her that both the infants are since severely in the arm ; after a dead. scuffle, she succeeded in making
her escape. A coloured woman, IMPORTANT TO DISSENTERS. who endeavoured to prevent his The general Turnpike act, passed attempt at murder, after the first during the last session, comalarm was given, received a pletely sets at rest the question wound from him, which prevent- of dissenters being exempt from ed her giving any further as- paying toll on Sundays, when sistance. After having commit- proceeding to their usual places ted this sanguinary outrage, the of worship. The act states, sec. monster, with a savage ferocity, 3, that tolls shall not be demandrushed into an inner room where ed or taken from any person or two infants, one about four, and persons going to, or returning the other sixteen months old, from his, her, or their usual were asleep, seized both, and cut place of religious worship, toletheir entrails out, immediately rated by law, on Sundays, or any after which he seized a dog and other day, on which divine serkilled it.
vice is by authority ordered to Armed with a blood-stained be celebrated. knife in one hand and a pistol in LEGAL REDRESS. A dandy