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You're the greatest man in the unusual haste, as soon as the world! I long to serve you! death of his catholic majesty What can I do for you?” “May should have been announced. it please your grace, an excise- Ignorant of the hour in which man of this town is very old. they might arrive, and impatient I would beg leave to succeed of the fate of every hour, the him as
soon as he shall die.” duke would not retire to his rest “ Ay, that you shall with all my till he had given the strictest orheart. I wish for your sake, he ders to his attendants, to send were dead and buried now ! As any person to his chamber who soon as he is, set out to me, my should desire admittance. When dear friend ! be it night or day, the voter asked if he was at home, insist upon seeing me sleeping or he was answered by the porter, waking. If I am not at Clare- “ Yes ; his grace has been in bed mont,
to Lincoln's-Inn some time, but we are directed Fields; if I am not at Lincoln's- to awaken him as soon as ever Inu Fields, come to court; if I you came.” “ Ah, god bless him! am not at court, never rest till I know that the duke always told you find me; not the sanctum me I should be welcome by night sanctorum, or any place, shall be or by day. Pray shew me up.” kept sacred from such a dear, The happy visiter was scarcely worthy, good soul as you are. conducted to the door, when he Nay, I'll give orders for you to rushed into the room, and, in be admitted, though the king the transport of his joy, cried out, and I were talking secrets to- My Lord, he's dead.
- That's gether in the cabinet.” The vo- well, my dear friend ; I'am glad ter swallowed every thing with of it, with all my soul. When extasy; and; scraping down to did he die ?” “The morning bethe very ground, retired to wait fore last, and please your grace.” in faith for the death of the ex- “ What so lately? Why, my ciseman. The former took his worthy good creature, you must leave of this wicked world in the have flown. The lightning itself following winter. As soon as could not travel half so fast as the duke's friend ap- you. Tell me, you best of men, prised of it, he set off for Lon- how shall I reward you?” “ All I don, and reached Lincoln's-Inn wish for in this world is, that Fields by about two o'clock in yo grace would please to rethe morning. The king of Spain member your kind promise, and had, about this time, been seized appoint me to succeed him.' by a disorder, which some of the “You, you blockhead ! You English had been induced to be- king of Spain !
What family lieve, from particular expresses, pretensions can you have ? Let's he could not possibly survive. look at you.” By this time the Amongst these, the noble duke astonished duke threw back the was the most credulous, and curtains, and recollected the face probably the most anxious. On of his electioneering friend ;
but the very first moment of receiv- it was seen with rage and disaping his intelligence, he had dis- pointment. To have robbed him patched couriers to Madrid, who of his rest might easily have been were commanded to return with forgiven; but to have fed him
with a groundless supposition of Good Hope without opening that the king of Spain was dead his lips. Upon one occasion, the became a matter of resentment. ship had been long becalmed ; He was, at first, dismissed with at length the breeze sprung up, all the violence of anger and re- and a sailor at the mast-head fusal. At length, the victim of proclaimed land. Mr. Pratt's his passion became an object of features had previously been obhis mirth ; and, when he felt the served to brighten, and on being ridicule that marked the accident, congratulated on the near aphe raised the candidate for mo- proach to terra firma, replied narchy into a post, which, from “ I know it all ; I saw it before the colour of the present times, that idle sailor aloft did :” and may seem at least as honour these were the first, the last, and able-he made him an excise- the only words he uttered during man.
ARGUMENTUM AD HOMINEM.-- BARBER'S WIT.-A hair-dresJames Ferguson, the ingenious ser at Halifax informed one of mechanic and astronomer, was his customers, the other morntravelling once in a stage-coaching, that he had just been finishin which there happened to be ing of an attorney in that place, only another passenger, who was who had departed soon after to a sectarian. The man being York, to attend his professional brain-full of zeal, kept the dis- duties at the assizes ; on which course continually on the subject the gentleman inquired if he, the nearest his heart, and pointed barber, had any cause
to try out passages of scripture inces- there? “No," replied the opesantly, exclaiming, as he uttered ratur, “ I had much rather shave every text or disjointed passage a lawyer than let a lawyer shave
-“ Is not that scripture !” Fer- me.' guson, at last, grew quite impa- IRELAND AND ROME.-A gentient, and told his fellow-travel- tleman of the sister kingdom, ler, that upon his principles he speaking of his countrymen the would undertake to prove the other day, said, “ they were, like lawfulness of suicide. “ How the Romans, the most peaceable so ?" vociferated the scripturist. people in the world, so they had
Why,” returned the mathema- but panem et circenses, rows and tician, “ Judas went and hanged potatoes." himself.” Is not that scripture ? CONUNDRUM.—Sir W. Smyth, “ Go thou and do likewise." Is the learned Irish baron of the not that scripture? This put an exchequer, spent two days and end to the conversation, and the nights in considering the answer parties went on to the end of the to this conundrum-" Why is an stage in silence.
egg underdone like an egg overTACITURNITY. Few people done ?" He would not suffer were ever possessed of that gift any one to give him the answer, of taciturnity which the half- which he at length discovered. brother of the illustrious Cam- It is a tolerable pun enoughden, Mr. Edward Pratt, was “ Because they are both hardly noted for. In his voyages to the done." east, he often doubled the Cape SAGACITY OF A HORSE.--The
following anecdote, related in a PROVOKING MISTAKE REVENGED. French paper, proves that the in- —Count Stackelberg was once stinct of a horse is sometimes as sent on a particular embassy by surprising as that of the dog, and the empress Catherine, of Rusthat it is equally intelligent and sia, into Poland ; on the same susceptible of a warm attach- occasion, Thurgut was dispatched ment to its master. “ A young by the emperor of Germany. gentleman went on horseback, Both these ambassadors were from Paris to the Faubourg St. strangers to each other. When Antoine, to receive some money, the morning appointed for an and, on his return, wishing to audience arrived, Thurgut was let his horse drink, by some ac- ushered into a magnificent saloon, cident fell into the water and where, seeing a dignified looking was drowned. The horse re- man seated, and attended by turned to the house where its several Polish noblemen, who master had been to receive the were standing most respectfully money, and by its neighings and before him, the German ambasthe noise of its feet attracted the sador, Thurgut, concluded it attention of the people of the was the king, and addressed him house, who were no less asto- as such, with the accustomed nished than alarmed at its re- formalities. This dignified lookappearance without its rider. ing character turned out to be One of them mounted the horse, Stackelberg, who received the and allowed it to go its own unexpected homage with pride
The animal set off a and silence. Soon after, the king full trot in the direction of the entered the presence chamber, river, and stopped at the very and Thurgut, perceiving his misspot where it is supposed its take, retired much mortified and master had disappeared. The ashamed. In the evening, it so body was taken out of the water, happened, that both these amand in his purse was found the bassadors were playing cards at money he had received.”
the same table with his majesty. PROOF THAT A MAN CAN BE HIS The German envoy threw down OWN GRANDFATHER.—There were a card, saying, “ the king of a widow and her daughter-in- clubs.' - A mistake !” said the law, and a man and his son. monarch, « it is the knave !" The widow married the son, and “ Pardon me, sir," exclaimed the daughter the old man; the Thurgut, casting a significant widow was, therefore, mother to glance at Stackelberg,
66 this is her husband's father,
the second time to-day. I have quently grandmother to her own mistaken a knave for a king !” husband. They had a son to Stackelberg though very prompt whom she was great-grandmo- at a repartee, bit his lips and was ther ; now, as the son of a great- silent. grandmother must be either a A seaman, it is said, who grandfather or great uncle, this wished to become a branch pilot boy was, therefore, his from the Downs to Spithead, grandfather. This was actually being, among other questions, the case with a boy at a school while under examination at the at Norwich.
Trinity house, asked" When
the Owers Light is north of you, who was engaged December 21, where is Chichester church ?" 1794, to play a comic cast of meaning, how did it bear by the characters in this great theatre, compass, replied—" In Chiches- the world, for many of which he ter churchyard, most certainly, was prompted by nature to excel. gentlemen!"
The season being ended-his M. de la Riviere went to Rome benefit over - the charges all to endeavour to be made a car- paid—and his account closed, he dinal, but came back without made his exit in the tragedy of success. Returning with a vio- death, on the 17th March, 1798, lent cold, M. de Bautru said, in the full assurance of being “ that's because he came back called once more to rehearsal, without a hat !"
when he hopes to find his forThe following epitaph to the feits all cleared his cast of memory of a favourite actor of parts bettered—and his situation the Norwich company, is in the made agreeable by Him who churchyard of Gillingham, Nor- paid the great stock debt for folk :-“ Sacred to the memory the love he bore to performers in of Thomas Jackson, comedian, general.”
BRIEF MEMOIR OF THE LATE MAR
QUIS OF LONDONDERRY.
seventeen (1796), was entered at
St. John's college, Cambridge. (From Bell's Weekly Messenger.) time at the university, he made a
After remaining for the usual The public conduct and offi- tour on the continent, and on his cial advancement of the minister, return to his native country enwhose sudden death has created tered on that political career such a sensation, are well known which has since been so successto most of our readers. Ever ful. since 1802, he has occupied a In 1789, he was elected a reconsiderable space in the eye of presentative in the parliament of the public.
Ireland for the county of Down; The noble marquis was the and during the vice-royalty of eldest son of the late marquis of earl Camden, was appointed chief Londonderry (to whose title he secretary to the lord lieutenant, succeeded on the death of his fa- which situation he retained under ther, last year), and of lady his successor. His lordship was, Sarah Frances Conway, sister of also, at the same time, a lord of the late marquis of Hertford, his the treasury, keeper of the signet lordship's first wife. He was and privy seal, a privy counsellor born June 18, 1769, and, conse- of Ireland, and colonel of the quently, was in the fifty-third Londonderry malitia.
He received his Having been returned to the early education at Armagh, under imperial parliament, his lordship archdeacon Hurrock; and, at was appointed president of the
year of his
board of control, and nominated important measure of the union. a privy counsellor of Great Bri- His address and management betain. The first occasion on which yond the walls of parliamenta the noble marquis became known his application to the feelings to the English public, was that and ambition of the different of his seconding the address to parties whose opinions, prejuthe king, on the memorable 29th dices, or interests were opposed of October, 1795. The session to his object—and his presence of parliament was opened on that of mind, his coolness of temper, day; the chief object of calling and dexterity, if not eloquence, it together at that early period of in debate, pointed him out as a the year was, in the first place, valuable assistant to any ministo mitigate the evil, arising from try that might be disposed to acthe scarcity of corn which then cept of his services. Accordingprevailed throughout the coun- ly, having become a member of try, and to adopt vigourous mea- the imperial parliament after the sures for putting a stop to the union, which annihilated the meetings of vast bodies of people, theatre in which he had previwhich at that time had been held ously figured, he was, by Mr. in the vicinity of the metropolis, Pitt, promoted to the head of the under the direction of the cor- board of control, and made a responding society, and which privy counsellor. This appointwere represented by the minis- ment, we believe, he re-accepted ters as seditious and treasonable. under lord Sidmouth, who sucThe outrageous attack made that ceeded Mr. Pitt, and retained it day on his majesty, while he was under Mr. Pitt, who succeeded proceeding to open the parlia- lord Sidmouth. Before Mr ment, was dwelt upon as a com- Pitt's death he was 'advanced to plete justification of the severe the high situation of minister of acts passed for the above pur- war, which he retained till, on pose. The address, in answer to that minister's death, he was the king's message, was moved obliged to resign in favour of in the House of Commons, by Mr. Wyndham, who composed lord Dalkeith, and seconded by part of the united administration the subject of these memoirs, of Mr. Fox and lord Grenville. then the honourable Robert On the resignation of this admiStewart, in a speech of moderate nistration, in 1807, he resumed length, which was his maiden his former situation of minister speech, and held out no promise, of war, which he continued till either in point of eloquence or the Walcheren expedition and argument, of that great talent his duel with Mr. Canning drove and expansion of mind, for which him from office. On the death he has since become eminently of Mr. Perceval, in 1812, he obdistinguished. In 1805, he was tained that influence in his maappointed war minister, which jesty's councils, and occupied he resigned in 1806, and again that office (secretary of state for resumed in 1807.
the foreign department) in which During the time he was in of- he continued till his death. fice in Ireland, he was mainly in- The marquis of Londonderry strumental in bringing about the was, certainly, in all personal