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As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece,
And Peter Turf, and Henry Pimpernell;
And twenty more such names and men as these,
Which never were, nor no man ever saw.
Sly. Now, Lord be thanked for my good amends!
Sly. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it.
Enter the PAGE, as a Lady, with Attendants.
Page. How fares my noble lord ?
Sly. Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough.
Where is my wife?
Page. Here, noble lord; What is thy will with her ?
Sly. Are you my wife, and will not call me-husband?
My men should call me-lord; I am your goodman.
Page. My husband and my lord, my lord and husband;
I am your wife in all obedience.
Sly. I know it well :—What must I call her?
Sly. Alce madam, or Joan madam'?
Lord. Madam, and nothing else; so lords call ladies.
Sly. Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd, and slept
Above some fifteen years and more.
Page. Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me;
Being all this time abandon’d from your bed.
Sly. 'Tis much; -Servants, leave me and her alone.
Madam, undress you, and come now to bed.
Page. Thrice noblé lord, let me entreat of you
To pardon me yet for a night or two;
Or, if not so, until the sun be set:
For your physicians have expressly charged,
In peril to incur your former malady,
That I should yet absent me from your bed :
I hope this reason stands for my excuse,
Sly. Ay, it stands so, that I may hardly tarry so long. But I would be loath to fall' into my dreams again; I will therefore tarry, in despite of the flesh and the blood.
Enter a SERVANT.
Serv. Your honour's players, hearing your amendment,
Are come to play a pleasant comedy,
For so your doctors hold it very meet;
Seeing too much sadness hath congeal'd your blood,
And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy,
Therefore, they thought it good you hear a play,
And frame your mind to mirth and merriment,
Which bars a thousand harms, and lengthens lífe.
Sly. Marry, I will; let them play it: Is not a commonty* a Christmas gambol, or a tumbling trick ?
Page. No, my good lord; it is more pleasing stuff.
Sly. What, household stuff? Page. It is a kind of history. Sly. Well, we'll see't: Come, madam wife, sit by my side, and let the world slip; we shall ne'er be younger. [They sit down.
Scene I.-Padua. A public Place.
Enter LUCENTIO and TRANIO.
Luc. Tranio, since--for the great desire I had
To see fair Padua, nursery of arts,
I am arrived for fruitful Lombardy,
The pleasant garden of great Italy;
And, by my father's love and leave, am arm’d
With his good will, and thy good company,
Most trusty servant, well approved in all;
Here let us breathe, and happily institute
A course of learning, and ingenuous studies.
Pisa, renowned for grave citizens,
Gave me my being, and my father first,
A merchant of great traffic through the world,
Vincentio, come of the Bentivolii.
Vincentio his son, brought up in Florence,
It shall become, to serve all hopes conceived,
To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds:
And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study
Virtue, and that part of philosophy
Will I apply, that treats of happiness
By virtue 'specially to be achieved.
Tell me thy mind: for I have Pisa left,
And am to Padua come; as he that leaves
A shallow plash* to plunge him in the deer,
And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst.
Tra. Mi perdonate, t gentle master mine,
I am in all affected as yourself;
Glad that you thus continue your resolve,
To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy,
Only, good master, while we do admire
This virtue, and this moral discipline,
Let's be no stoics, nor no stocks, I pray;
Or so devote to Aristotle's checks, f
As Ovid be an outcast quite abjured :
Talk logic with acquaintance that you have,
And practise rhetoric in your common talk :
Music and poesy use to quicken you:
The mathematics, and the metaphysics,
Fall to them as you find your stomach serves you:
No profit grows, where is no pleasure ta’en;
In brief, Sir, study what you most affect.
Luc. Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise.
If Biondello, thou wert come ashore,
We could at once put us in readiness;
And take a lodging, fit to entertain
Such friends, as time in Padua shall beget.
But stay awhile : What company is this?
Tra. Master, some show, to welcome us to town.
Enter BAPTISTA, KATHARINA, BIANCA, GREMIO, and HOR-
TENSIO. LUCENTIO and TRANIO stand aside.
Bap. Gentlemen, importune me no further,
For how I firmly am resolved you know;
That is,-not to bestow my youngest daughter,
Before I have a husband for the elder:
If either of you both love Katharina,
Because I know you well, and love you well,
Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.
Gre. To cart her, rather: she's too rough for me :
There, there, Hortensio, will you any wife ?
Kath. pray you, Sir (To BAP.], is it your will To make a stale of me* amongst these mates ?
Hor. Mates, maid, how mean you that? no mates for you, Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.
Kath. I' faith, Sir, you shall never need to fear;
I wist it is not half way to her heart:
But, if it were, doubt not her care should be
To comb your noddle with a three-legg'd stool,
And paint your face and use you like a fool
Hor. From all such devils, good Lord, deliver us!
Gre. And me too, good Lord !
Tra. Hush, master, here is some good pastime toward;
That wench is stark mad, or wonderful froward.
Luc. But in the other's silence I do see
Maid's mild behaviour and sobriety.
Tra. Well said, master: mum! and gaze your fill.
Bap. Gentlemen, that I may soon make good
What I have said, — Bianca, get you in:
And let it not displease thee, good Bianca;
For I will love thee ne'er the less, my girl.
Kath. A pretty peat! I 'tis best
Put finger in the eye,-an she knew why.
Bian. Sister, content you in my discontent-
Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe:
My books, and instruments, shall be my company;
On them to look, and practise by myself.
Luc. Hark, Tranio! thou mayst hear Minerva speak. [Aside.
Hor. Signior Baptista, will you be so strange ?
To put me, stale-mate, into a corner. + Think.
Sorry am I, that our good will affects
Gre. Why, will you mew her up,
Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell,
And make her bear the penance of her tongue ?
Bap. Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolved :
Go in, Bianca.
[Exit BIANCA. And for I know, she taketh most delight In music, instruments, and poetry, Schoolmasters will I keep within my house, Fit to instruct her youth.-If you, Hortensio, Or signior Gremio, you-know any such, Prefer* them hither: for to cunning men I will be very kind and liberal To mine own children in good bringing up; And
so farewell. Katharina, you may stay ; For I have more to commune with Bianca.
[Exit. Kath. Why, and I trust I may go too; May I not? What, shall I be appointed hours; as though belike, I knew not what to take, and what to leave ? Ha! [Exit.
Gre. You may go to the devil's dam; your gifts are so good, here is none will hold you. Their love is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out; our cake 's dough on both sides. Farewell :-Yet, for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man, to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.
Hor. So will I, signior Gremio : But a word, I pray. Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brook'd parle, know now, upon advice,t it toucheth us both,—that we may yet again have access to our fair mistress, and be happy rivals in Bianca's love,-to labour and effect one thing 'specially, Gre. What's that, I pray ? Hor. Marry, Sir, to get a husband for her sister. Gre. A husband'! a devil. Hor. I say, a husband.
Gre. I say, a devil: Think'st thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell ?
Hor. Tush, Gremio, though it pass your patience, and mine, to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could light on them,'would take her with all faults, and money enough.
Gre. I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition, to be whipped at the high-cross every morning.
Hor. 'Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples. But, come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintained, -tilt by helping Baptista's eldest daughter to a husband, we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to't afresh. Sweet Bianca !-Happy man be his dole! He that runs fastest gets the ring. How say you, signior Gremio ?
Gre. I am agreed: and 'would I had given him the best horse
in Padua to begin his wooing, that would thoroughly woo her wed her, and bed her, and rid the house of her. Come on.
[Exeunt GREMIO and HORTENSIO, Tra. (Advancing.] I pray, Sir, tell me, -Is it possible That love should of a sudden také such hold?
Luc. O Tranio, till I found it to be true,
I never thought it possible, or likely;
But see! while idly I stood looking on,
I found the effect of love in idleness :
And now in plainness do confess to thee,
T'hat art to me as secret, and as dear,
As Anna to the queen of Carthage was,-
Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio,
If I achieve not this young modest girl
Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst;
Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.
Tra. Master, it'is no time to chide you now;
Affection is not rated * from the heari :
If love have touch'd you, naught remains but so, -
Redime te captum quam queas minimo.
Luc. Gramercies, lad; go forward : this contents;
The rest will comfort, for thy counsel 's sound.
Tra. Master, you look'd so longlyt on the maid,
Perhaps you mark'd not what's the pith of all.
Luc. O yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face,
Such as the daughter I of Agenor had,
That made great Jove to humble him to her hand,
When with his knees he kiss'd the Cretan strand.
Tra. Saw you no more ? mark'd you not how her sister
Began to scold, and raise up such a storm,
That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?
Luc. Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move,
And with her breath she did perfume the air;
Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.
Tra. Nay, then, 'tis time to stir him from his trance.
I pray, awake, Sir; if you love the maid,
thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it stands :-
Her elder sister is so curst and shrewd,
That, till the father rid his hands of her,
Master, your love must live a maid at home;
And therefore has he closely mew'd her up,
Because she shall not be annoy'd with suitors.
Luc. Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father 's he!
But art thou not advised he took some care
To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her?
Tra. Ay, marry, am I, Sir; and now 'tis plotted.
Luc. I have it, Tranio.
Tra. Master, for my hand,
Both our inventions meet and jump in one.
Luc. Tell me thine first.
Tra. You will be schoolmaster,
* Driven out by chiding.