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Enter a COURTEZAN.
Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus,
I see, Sir, you have found the goldsmith now;
Is that the chain you promised me to-day?
Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not !
Dro. S. Master, is this Mistress Satan?
Ant. S. It is the devil.
Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God damn me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written, they appear to men like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her.
Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, Sir. Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here.
Dro. s. Master, if you do expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon. Ant. 8. Why, Dromio ?
Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, that must eat with the devil.
Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend, why tellst thou me of supping?
Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress :
I conjure thee to leave me, and be gone.
Cour. Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised;
And I'll be gone, Sir, and not trouble you.
Dro. S. Some devils ask but the paring of one's nail,
A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
A nut, a cherrystone: but she, more covetous,
Would have a chain.
Master, be wise ; and if you give it her,
The devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.
Cour. I pray you, Sir, the ring, or else the chain;
I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
Ant. S. Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.
Dro. S. Fly pride, says the peacock: Mistress, that you know.
[Exeunt ANT. and Dro.
Cour. Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad,
Else would hé never so demean himself:
A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
And for the same he promised me a chain !
Both one and other he denies me now.
The reason that I gather he is mad
(Besides this present instance of his rage),
Is a mad tale, he told to-day at dinner,
Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
Belike, his wife, acquainted with his fits,
On purpose shut the doors against his way.
My way is now to hie home to his house,
And tell his wife, that, being lunatic,
He rushed into my house and took perforce
My ring away: This course I fittest choose;
For forty ducats is too much to lose.
SCENE IV.-The same.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and an OFFICER.
Ant. E. Fear me not, man, I will not break away;
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money
To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
My wife is in a wayward mood to day:
And will not lightly trust the messenger,
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus:
I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.-
Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's end.
Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
How now, Sir? have you that I sent you for ?
Dro. E. Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
Ant. E. But where's the money ?
Dro. E. Why, Sir, I gave the money for the rope.
Ant. E. Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope ?
Dro. E. I'll serve you, Sir, five hundred at the rate.
Ant. E. To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
Dro. E. To a rope's end, Sir; and to that end am I return'd.
Ant. E. And to that end, Sir, I will welcome you.
Offi. Good Sir, be patient.
Dro. E. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
Offi. Good now, hold thy tongue.
Dro. E. Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
Ant. E. Thou whoreson, senseless villain !
Dro. E. I would I were senseless, Sir, that I might not feel
Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an
Dro. E. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long* ears. I have served him from the hour of nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service, but blows: wheu I am cold, he heats me with beating: when I am warm, he cools me with beating: I am waked with it, when I sleep; raised with it, when I sit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home; welcomed home with it, when I return : nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hati lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door, Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and the COURTEZAN, with PINCH,
and others. Ant. E. Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.
Dro. E. Mistress, respice finem, respect your end; or rather the prophecy, like the parrot, Beware the rope's end.
Ant. E. Wilt thou still talk ?
(Beats him. Cour. How say you now? is not your husband mad ?
Adr. His incivility confirms no less.-
Good doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
Establish him in his true sense again,
And I will please you what you will demand.
Luc. Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks !
Cour. Mark, how he trembles in his ecstasy.
Pinch. Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.
Ant. E. There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
Pinch. I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
To yield possesion to my holy prayers,
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight;
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven.
Ant. E. Peace, doting wizard, peace, I am not mad.
Adr. O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul !
Ant. E. You minion you, are these your customers ?
Did this companion* with a saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,
And I denied to enter in my house?
Adr. O, husband, God doth know, you dined at home,
Where 'would you had remained until this time,
Free from these slanders, and this open shame!
Ant. E. I dined at home! Thou villain, what say'st thou ?
Dro. E. Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
Ant. E. Were not my doors lock'd up, and I shut out?
Dro. E. Perdy,t your doors were lock'd, and you shut out.
Ant. E. And did not she herself revile me there?
Dro. E. Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.
Ant. E. Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?
Dro. E. Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.
Ant. E. And did not I in rage depart from thence?
Dro. E. In verity you did ;-my bones bear witness,
That since have felt the vigour of his rage.
Adr. Is’t good to sooth him in these contraries ?
Pinch. It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein, And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.
Ant. E. Thou hast suborn’d the goldsmith to arrest me.
Adr. Alas, I sent you money to redeem you, By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
Dro. E. Money by me ? heart and good-will you might,
But surely, master, not a rag of money.
Ant. E. Wentst not thou to her for a purse of ducats ?
Adr. He came to me, and I delivered it.
Luc. And I am witness with her, that she did.
Dro. E. God and the rope-maker, bear me witness,
That I was sent for nothing but a rope !
Pinch. Mistress, both man and master is possess'd :
I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
They must be bound, and laid in some dark room.
Ant. E. Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day, And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?
Adr. I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
Dro. E. And, gentle master, I received no gold; But I confess, Sir, that we were lock'd out.
Adr. Dissembling villain, thou speak’st false in both.
Ant. E. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
And art confederate with a damned pack,
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes,
That would behold in me this shameful sport.
[Pinch and his assistants bind Ant. and DROMIO.
Adr. O, bind him, bind him, let him not come near me.
Pinch. More company ;-the fiend is strong within him.
me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks !
Ant. E. What, will you murder me? Thou jailer, thou,
I am thy prisoner; wilt thou sufier inem
To make a rescue ?
Ciffi. Masters, let him go;
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
Pinch, Go, bind this man, for he is frantic too.
Adr. What wilt thou do, thou peevish* officer?
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
Offi. He is my prisoner; if I let him go,
debt he owes will be required of me. Adr. I will discharge thee, ere I go from thee: Bear me forthwith unto his creditor, And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it. Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd Home to my house.--O most unhappy day! Ant. E. O most unhappyt strumpet! Dro. E. Master, I am here enter'd in hond for you. Ant. E. Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?
Dro. E. Will you be bound for nothing ? be mad, Good master; cry,
the devil.Luc. God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk! Adr. Go bear him hence.-Sister, go you with me.
[Exeunt PINCH and assistants with ANT. and DRO, Say now, whose suit is he arrested at ?
Offi. One Angelo, a goldsmith; Do you know him ?
Adr. I know the man : What is the sum he owes ?
Offi. Two hundred ducats.
Adr. Say, how grows it due ?
Offi. Due for a chain, your husband had of him.
Adr. He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not
Cour. When as your husband, all in rage, to-day
Came to my house, and took away my ring
(The ring I saw upon his finger now),
Straight after, did I meet him with a chain.
Adr. It may be so, but I did never see it :
Come, jailer, bring me where the goldsmith is,
I long to know the truth hereof at large.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, with his rapier drawn, and
DROMIO of Syracuse.
Luc. God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.
Adr. And come with naked swords; let's call more help,
To have them bound again.
Offi. Away, they'll kill us. [Exeunt OFFICER, ADR. and LUC.
Änt. S. I see these witches are afraid of swords.
Dro. S. She, that would be your wife, now ran from you.
Ant. S. Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence : I long, that we were safe and sound aboard.
Dro. S. Faith, stay here this night, they will surely do us no harm; you saw, they speak us fair, give us gold: methinks, they are such a gentle nation, that but for the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of me, I could find in my heart to stay here still, and turn witch.
Ant. S. I will not stay to-night for all the town; Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.
SCENE I.-The same.
Enter MERCHANT and ANGELO.
Ang. I am sorry, Sir, that I have hinder'd you;
But, I protest, he had the chain of me,
Though most dishonestly he doth deny it.
Mer. How is the man esteem'd here in the city ?
Ang. Of very reverend reputation, Sir,
Of credit infinite, highly beloved,
Second to none that lives here in the city;
His word might bear my wealth at any time.
Mer. Speak softly: yonder, as I think, he walks.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS and DROMIO of Syracuse.
Ang. 'Tis so; and that self chain about his neck,
Which he forswore, most monstrously, to have.
Good Sir, draw near to me, I'll speak to him.-
Signior Antipholus, I wonder much
That you would put me to this shame and trouble;
And not without some scandal to yourself,
With circumstance, and oaths, so to deny
This chain, which now you wear so openly:
Besides the charge, the shame, imprisonment,
You have done wrong to this my honest friend;
Who, but for staying on our controversy,
Had hoisted sail, and put to sea to-day:
This chain you had of me, can you deny it?