But we, that know what 'tis to fast and pray, Ant. S. Stop in your wind, Sir; tell me this, I pray; Dro. E. 0,-sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last, Ant. S. I am not in a sportive humour now: Tell me, and dally not, where is the money? We being strangers here, how dar'st thou trust So great a charge from thine own custody? Dro. E. I pray you, jest, Sir, as you sit at dinner: I from my mistress come to you in post; If I return, I shall be post indeed; For she will score your fault upon my pate. Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock, And strike you home without a messenger. Ant. S. Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of scason; Reserve them till a merrier hour than this: Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee? Dro. E. To me, Sir, why you gave no gold to me. Ant. S. Come on, sír knave, have done your foolishness, And tell me, how thou hast disposed thy charge. Dro. E. My charge was but to fetch you from the mart Ant. S. Now, as I am a Christian, answer me, If I should pay your worship those again, Perchance, you will not bear them patiently. Ant. S. Thy mistress' marks! what mistress, slave, hast thou? Dro. E. Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix; She that doth fast, till you come home to dinner, And prays, that you will hie you home to dinner. Ant. S. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face, Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave. Dro. E. What mean you, Sir? for God's sake, hold your hands; Nay, an you will not, Sir, I'll take my heels. [Exit DROMIO E. Ant. S. Upon my life, by some device or other, VOL. II. *Over-reached. Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks, ACT II. SCENE I-A public Place. Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA. Adr. Neither my husband, nor the slave return'd, Luc. Perhaps, some merchant hath invited him, A man is master of his liberty: Time is their master; and, when they see time, Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be more? [Exit. Adr. This servitude makes you to keep unwed. Adr. How if your husband start some other where? Luc. Till he come home again, I would forbear. Adr. Patience, unmoved, no marvel though she pause; They can be meek, that have no other cause. A wretched soul, bruised with adversity, We bid be quiet, when we hear it cry; But were we burthen'd with like weight of pain, * Licensed offenders. But, if thou live to see like right bereft, This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left. Enter DROMIO of Ephesus. Adr. Say is your tardy master now at hand? Dro. E. Nay, he is at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness. Adr. Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind? Dro. E. Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear: Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it. Luc. Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning? Dro. E. Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his blows; and withal so doubtfully, that I could scarce understand* them. Adr. But say, I pr'ythee, is he coming home? It seems, he hath great care to please his wife. Dro. E. Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad. Dro. E. I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, he's stark mad: When I desired him to come home to dinner, He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold: 'Tis dinner-time, quoth I; My gold, quoth he: Your meat doth burn, quoth I: My gold, quoth he: Dro. E. Quoth my master: I know, quoth he, no house, no wife, no mistress ;— I thank him, I bear home upon my shoulders; For, in conclusion, he did beat me there. Adr. Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home. For God's sake, send some other messenger. Adr. Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across. Adr. Hence, prating peasant; fetch thy master home. That like a football do you spurn me thus? *I. e. stand under. [Exit. Hath homely age the alluring beauty took Adr. Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense. I know his eye doth homage otherwhere; Will lose his beauty; and though gold 'bides still, SCENE II.-The same. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse. Ant. S. The gold I gave to Dromio, is laid up Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. How now, Sir, is your merry humour alter'd? [Exeunt. Dro. S. What answer, Sir? when spake I such a word? Ant. S. Even now, even here, not half an hour since. * Alteration of features. † Fairness. + Hinders. Dro. S. I did not see you since you sent me hence, [Beating him. Dro. S. Hold, Sir, for God's sake: now your jest is earnest: Upon what bargain do you give it me? Ant. S. Because that I familiarly sometimes Do use you for my fool, and chat with you, And make a common of my serious hours.* When the sun shines, let foolish gnats make sport, Or I will beat this method in your sconce. Dro. S. Sconce, call you it? so you would leave battering, I had rather have it a head: an you use these blows long, I must get a sconce for my head, and insconce‡ it too; or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But, I pray, Sir, why am I beaten ? Ant. S. Dost thou not know? Dro. S. Nothing, Sir; but that I am beaten. Ant. S. Shall I tell you why? Dro. S. Ay, Sir, and wherefore; for, they say, every why hath a wherefore. Ant. S. Why, first,-for flouting me; and then, wherefore,― For urging it the second time to me. Dro. S. Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season? When, in the why, and the wherefore, is neither rhyme nor reason ? Well, Sir, I thank you. Ant. S. Thank me, Sir! for what? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing. Ant. S. I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for something. But say, Sir, is it dinner-time ? Dro. S. No, Sir; I think, the meat wants that I have. Ant. S. In good time, Sir, what's that? Dro. S. Basting. Ant. S. Well, Sir, then 'twill be dry. Dro. S. If it be, Sir, I pray you eat none of it. Ant. S. Your reason? Dro. S. Lest it make you choleric, and purchase me another dry basting. * I. e. intrude on them when you please. * Fortify. |