CHAPTER VIII.

POLITENESS.

In all communities of intelligent beings, there are certain rules, regulations, or customs, adopted by general consent, to govern the intercourse of one with another.

guage, politeness.

They are termed in our lanIt is true, these usages differ much in their character. A custom considered very polite in one country, is deemed extravagant and ridiculous in another. But however these practices may vary, certain forms of politeness prevail in every class, from the polished circles of the highest ranks of civilization, down to the barbarous and untutored tribes of the forest. Your attention, however, will be directed exclusively to the general subject of politeness, as understood in enlightened countries, and as applicable to youth of both sexes.

Singular as the remark may appear, it is quite evident to my mind, that the Gospel of the Redeemer, understood in its proper sense, is the only perfect source of true politeness. What is po

liteness? It is not an air, a simper or a strut—it is not the mincing of words, or the formal manner of expressing sentiments. Politeness is an exhibition, through words, sings or tokens, of kind and friendly emotions towards those in our presence. These emotions cannot be exhibited properly in the conduct, unless they really exist in the bosom. And they cannot exist in the bosom in their full extent, nor exert their influences, unless warmed into life by the spirit of Christ's religion. Those individuals whose hearts are steeped in the influences of the Gospel—who view all mankind as their brethren--who love them all, (even their enemies,) as directed by the Saviour, and who allow these emotions to control their conduct, will be truly polite. And although their manners, from want of opportunity, may not be as polished as those of others, yet they will exhibit that spirit of universal kindness and good will, which is the spirit of politeness, and without which politeness can not in reality exist. Hence the first step in the acquisition of politeness, is to imbibe the noble, generous, liberal and kind feelings, which flow from an enlightened appreciation of the Saviour's teachings and examples. These emotions will form a proper foundation, upon which a polished demeanor can be based, and which will render its acquirement easy and natural.

As this subject embraces an extensive range, I shall be able only to glance briefly at a few of its

most prominent features. And first your attention will be directed to a few things that are impolite.

Profane or irreverent language is improper and wicked in any place; but when uttered in company is very impolite. It exhibits a low, gross and uncultivated mind. Every young man—I need not say, every young lady—who would be considered polite and well bred, will avoid such language as highly derogatory to genteel manRefrain from low and vulgar anecdotes, and indelicate allusions or inuendoes. Nothing should be uttered in company, that violates the simple rules of modesty. Every thing of this nature is both improper and impolite.

ners.

Do not speak loud and long in company. This is a fault that young people are liable to commit. In the exuberance of their spirits, the voice is often raised to a high key, and some favorite topic is extended to an immoderate length, to the exclusion of all other conversation. This habit should be strictly guarded against. Those who indulge in it are liable to utter many things ridiculous and absurd, and to lay themselves open to the just censure of the wise and prudent. Loud laughter is also impolite; and is considered by many, as an indication of an empty mind. I would by no means banish sociability and pleasantry from the friendly circle. But there should be a proper medium observed. The good sense of youth, should teach them not to surpass, in

these respects, certain bounds prescribed by propriety.

In a mixed company, avoid, if possible, all contentions and disputes—especially on exciting topics. If carried to any extent, they lead to the exhibition of improper feelings; and generally cause the disputants, and the whole company, to become unhappy. There may be cases where this rule should be departed from; but such instances are exceedingly rare. As a general practice, the rule should be strictly adhered to.

Do not permit yourselves, in company, to speak disrespectfully of one who is absent, if you can consistently avoid it. This practice is not only impolite, but it is ungenerous and unjust. If it becomes necessary to express opinions derogatory to the character of the absent, speak in guarded language, and with all the palliations that charity and forgiveness can suggest.

Avoid any exhibitions of anger or petulance. They are impolite and immodest—especially so in females. They throw you off your guard-cause you to utter expressions extremely improper, and often ridiculous--and place you in circumstances very unpleasant. A guard should be placed upon the temper. Nothing is more to be avoided than the outbreakings of rage. Under their influence evils are often committed, for which a whole after life of propriety can hardly

atone.

Be cautious not to interrupt others when speak

ing. This plainly indicates a want of good breeding; and yet it is a very common practice with many. However anxious you may be to utter your views, remain silent until those who are speaking have concluded. Respect to them, and a desire to avoid confusion, as well as the rules of propriety, dictate a strict adherence to this precaution.

Do not bluntly deny the truth of the opinions expressed by those with whom you are conversing—and more especially if they are aged, or their opportunities for obtaining information have been superior to yours. If you differ from them, express your views in modest and respectful language, and with due deference to their mature experience. You should rather suggest the propriety of a different opinion, than pertinaciously assert it.

Never indulge in ridiculing others in company. It is a vulgar and ungenerous practice, and indicates a narrow, uncultivated mind. All have their weaknesses and imperfections—even those who possess the most shining talents, have their blemishes. "But what an absurd thing it is, to pass over all the valuable characteristics of individuals, and fix our attention on their infirmities— to observe their imperfections more than their virtues and to make use of them for the sport of others, rather than for our own improvement."

* Addison.