161 TO MR. PYE* On his Carmen Seculare (a title which has by various persons who have heard it, been thus translated, "A Poem an age long"). Your Poem must eternal be, For 'tis incomprehensible, And without head or tail! † * Morning Post, Jan. 24, 1800. "The following anecdote will not be wholly out of place here, and may perhaps amuse the reader. An amateur performer in verse expressed to a common friend, a strong desire to be introduced to me, but hesitated in accepting my friend's immediate offer, on the score that "he was, he must acknowledge, the author of a confounded severe epigram on my Ancient Mariner, which had given me great pain. I assured my friend that if the epigram was a good one, it would only increase my desire to become acquainted with the author, and begged to hear it recited: when, to my no less surprise than amusement, it proved to be one which I had myself some time before written and inserted in the Morning Post. To the author of the Ancient Mariner. Your poem must eternal be, Dear sir! it cannot fail, And without head or tail." -Biographia Literaria, Lond. 1817, vol. i. p. 28. It would seem, however, from the above that it was an afterthought on the author's part to apply this epigram to himself and his Ancient Mariner.-ED. 162 EPIGRAMS.* I. WOULD the Baptist come again And preach aloud with might and main I II. OCCASIONED BY THE FORMER. HOLD of all our viperous race The greedy creeping things in place To come on earth should John determine, At once from tyranny and riot Save laws, lives, liberties and moneys, If sticking to his ancient diet He'd but eat up our locusts and wild honeys ! III. ON A READER OF HIS OWN VERSES.† HOARSE MÆVIUS reads his hobbling verse To all and at all times, * Annual Anthology, Vol. 11. Bristol, 1800. And deems them both divinely smooth, But folks say, Mævius is no ass! But Mævius makes it clear That he's a monster of an ass, An ass without an ear. IV. IF the guilt of all lying consists in deceit V.* JACK drinks fine wines, wears modish clothing, VI. AS Dick and I at Charing Cross were walking Whom should we see on t'other side pass by But Informator with a stranger talking, So I exclaim'd, "Lord what a lie !" Quoth Dick-" What, can you hear him?" "Hear him! stuff! I saw him open his mouth-an't that enough?" * Morning Post, Nov. 16, 1799. VII. TO A PROUD PARENT. THY babes ne'er greet thee with the father's name; 'My Lud!' they lisp. Now whence can this arise? Perhaps their mother feels an honest shame VIII. HIPPONA lets no silly flush Disturb her cheek, nought makes her blush. Whate'er obscenities you say She nods and titters frank and gay. Oh Shame awake one honest flush For this, that nothing makes her blush. IX. 'HY lap-dog, Rufa, is a dainty beast, THY It don't surprise me in the least To see thee lick so dainty clean a beast. JEM writes his verses with more speed Than the printer's boy can set 'em ; Quite as fast as we can read, And only not so fast as we forget 'em. * Morning Post, Sept. 23, 1799. |