surely you seem to be, from your appearance and bearing, I do entreat you to pass on, for I would have you to know that those bones before you are the remains of a perpetrator of evil; and even at this moment, mischief, extreme mischief, is mixed up with what lies before you; for in the thigh bone of these relics of the Hag with the Finger, lies a red worm, which if once let loose from its confinement, and if it gets water enough to drink, will destroy the world.' This news the dwarf gave with that sententious gravity that becomes such acute and quaint folk and then with the importance of a lord, he marched off and pursued his path over the hills. Now it is right to inform the reader that of all the Finian race, Cuneen Miul was the most hand-over-head person, utterly regardless of consequences-a rolicking "pococurante" sort of a blade, very like a proper Paddy at the present day,

Whose sweetest divarsion that 's under the sun,
Is to fight in a fair for the sake of the fun;

And while fists are tossing,

And cudgels are crossing,
And every head broken,

Is of glory a token :

Huzza for the boys when the row is begun.

Such a personage was Cuneen Miul; and therefore smashing the Hag's thigh bone across with his hunting spear, out, without any doubt, crawled forth a long hairy worm, that writhed and wriggled about as if looking for water; whereupon Cuneen Miul, all reckless of consequences, took the worm up on the point of his spear, and giving it a sling, cried, 'There is water enough for you.' and he pitched it into the middle of yonder lough. My dear Sir, in an instant of time, and with the rapidity of enchantment, there arose out of the bosom of the lough, an enormous and turbulent beast, of such magnitude and destructiveness, that the Fions with all their valor, were obliged to hide themselves from its fury; and then this prodigy ranged over the whole country, destroying man and beast-swallowing hundreds at a mouthful, whenever he unclaspsed his engulping jaws.

Fin M'Coul and all his merry men were in the utmost dismay at this extraordinary event; and as force and valour were quite ineffectual against such a murderous monster, Fin had recourse to his wits, and as his custom was, he began to chew his thumb; and he had not long continued this oracular operation, until a spirit of wisdom came over him, and he was given to know that this devouring beast was only vulnerable at a spot where was a mole on her side; and with the discretion that always directed him, he made ready for the attack; and to that purpose prepared a short sharp cut-and-thrust sword; and with this rapier under his arm, he stood before the monster, who came ranging along with open mouth, sucking into that tremendous gulph hundreds of men-proceeding with such velocity, and doing such destructive deeds that the words of the rhymer might be applied when he says,

A river or a sea

Was to him a dish of tea,

And a kingdom bread and butter.

So, as I before said, Fin M'Coul stood before the monster; but instead of innocently submitting to be sucked in like a common man, Fin, famed as he was above all the Fions* for feats of agility, took a hop, step,

*The famous militia that Fin M'Coul enrolled and trained in Ireland, before the Christian era, was perhaps the bravest and most accomplished body of men ever recorded in the military annals of the world. Some of the indispensable qualifications of a member of this corps, may be here inserted on the authority of Keating and other Milesian historians of established credit; and we challenge the British Guards, or the French Legion of Honor to come into competence with these Hibernian worthies in military education: in the first place, the Fion must have a poetical genius-he must be well acquainted with twelve books of poetry: now a modern Guardsman is supposed to be well accomplished if he is acquainted with the poetical adventures of Johnny Newcombe; and for a recruiting serjeant it is enough if he stoutly lies in good round prose.

The Fion also, to show his dexterity in the management of arms, was placed in a green field, encompassed with sedge that reached up to his knees, with a target on his left arm, and a hazel stake in his right hand, an ell in length; and then nine experienced soldiers were commanded to stand at the distance of nine ridges of land from him, and cast their javelins at once if with his target and stake he had skill to defend himself, and come off unhurt, he was admitted-if not, he was sent to the right about. But this was not all: it was not only requisite that he should fight well, but also that he should run away well; and therefore to make trial of his activity, he had

and leap, and fairly and clearly jumped down its throat, and without any accident he arrived at the bottom of its stomach; and there looking about as well as such a dark place would permit, he observed about 200 men and women alive, who had been lately

his hair plaited, and he ran through a wood, a company of the Fions pursuing him; and he was allowed but the distance of one tree from another, as law, when he started: if overtaken or wounded before he got through the wood, he was declared unfit for service.

A further qualification was, that he should not only be swift, but also light of foot, so as not to break, as he ran, a rotten stick when he trod on it. His body must be so agile that he could leap over a tree as high as his forehead, and must as easily stoop under one lower than his knees; and moreover, it was required of him that without stooping or lessening his speed he should be able, in running, to draw a thorn out of his foot.

Like the Indians on the plains of Paraguay, his food was beef and water; and like his warlike antipode, the New-Zealander, he baked his beef in the same way; for instance, hot stones were laid at the bottom of a pit, upon which was placed the raw flesh, then a layer of bullrushes, then a layer of hot stones, and so on until the pit was filled and so the meat was baked.

In a word it was the pride of the Fions that one of them could beat nine Englishmen or Scotchmen; and as an Englishman can certainly beat nine Frenchmen, so by legitimate consequence a Fion was an overmatch for eighty-one Gauls.