"I have been an ufher at a boarding-school "myfelf; and may I die by an anodyne neck"lace, but I had rather be an under-turnkey "in Newgate. I was up early and late: I was "brow-beat by the mafter, hated for my ugly "face by the mistress, worried by the boys with"in, and never permitted to ftir out to meet ci❝vility abroad. But are you fure you are fit "for a school? Let me examine you a little. "Have you been bred apprentice to the bufi"nefs? No. Then you won't do for a school. "Can you drefs the boys hair? No. Then you "won't do for a fchool. Have you had the "fmall pox? No. Then you won't do for a "school. Can you ly three in a bed? No.

Then you will never do for a fchool. Have ❝ you got a good stomach? Yes. Then you "will by no means do for a school. No, Sir, "if you are for a genteel, eafy profeffion, bind "yourself seven years as an apprentice to turn a "cutler's wheel; but avoid a fchool by any

means. Yet come," continued he," I fee you "are a lad of spirit and fome learning: what do "you think of commencing author, like me? "You have read in books, no doubt, of men of "genius ftarving at the trade: at prefent, I'll "fhow you forty very dull fellows about town "that live by it in opulence. All honeft jog"trot men, who go on smoothly and dully, and "write hiftory and politicks, and are praised; "men, Sir, who, had they been bred coblers,

"would

"would all their lives have only mended fhoes, "but never made them."

"Finding that there was no great degree of "gentility affixed to the character of an usher, "I refolved to accept his propofal; and, having "the highest refpect for literature, hailed the "" antiqua mater of Grubstreet with reverence. "I thought it my glory to purfue a tract which

Dryden and Otway trod before me. I con"fidered the goddess of this region as the parent "of excellence; and however an intercourse with "the world might give us good sense, the pover"ty the granted I fuppofed to be the nurse of ge"nius! Big with these reflections, I fat down, "and finding that the best things remained to be "faid on the wrong fide, I refolved to write a "book that should be wholly new. I therefore "dreffed up three paradoxes with fome ingenuity. "They were falfe, indeed, but they were new. "The jewels of truth have been fo often import"ed by others, that nothing was left for me to "import, but fome fplendid things, that, at a "distance, looked every bit as well. Witnefs, ye "Powers, what fancied importance fat perched "upon my quill while I was writing. The whole "learned world, I made no doubt, would rise to

oppose my systems; but then I was prepared to "oppose the whole learned world. Like the por "cupine, I fat self-collected, with a quill pointed "against every opposer."

"Well faid, my boy," cried I; "and what "fubject did you treat upon? I hope you did

not pass over the importance of monogamy. "But I interrupt, go on: you published your pa"radoxes; well, and what did the learned world "fay to your paradoxes ?”

"Sir," replied my fon, "the learned world "faid nothing to my paradoxes; nothing at all, "Sir. Every man of them was employed in "prailing his friends and himself, or condem"ning his enemies; and unfortunately as I had "neither, I fuffered the cruelleft mortification, "neglect."

"As I was meditating one day in a coffee-house "on the fate of my paradoxes, a little man hap

pening to enter the room, placed himself in "the box before me, and, after fome preliminary "discourse, finding me to be a scholar, drew out "a bundle of propofals, begging me to subscribe "to a new edition he was going to give the "world of Propertius, with notes. This demand "neceffarily produced a reply that I had no mo"ney; and that confeffion led him to enquire "into the nature of my expectations. Finding "that my expectations were just as great as my "purfe, I fee, cried he, you are unacquainted "with the town, I'll teach you a part of it. Look "at these proposals; upon thefe very proposals "I have fubfifted very comfortably for twelve years. The moment a nobleman returns from his travels, a Creolian arrives from Jamaica, or "a Dowager from her country-seat, I ftrike for a fubfcription. I firft befiege their hearts with flattery, and then pour in my proposals at the

"breach.

"breach. If they subscribe readily the first time," "I renew my request to beg a dedication-fee. "If they let me have that, I fmite them once "more for engraving their coat of arms at the

top. Thus, continued he, I live by vanity, and "laugh at it. But between ourselves, I am now "too well known; I fhould be glad to borrow 66 your face a bit: a nobleman of diftinction has "just returned from Italy; my face is familiar "to his porter; but if you bring this copy of ver"fes, my life for it you fucceed, and we divide "the spoil."

"Bless us, George," cried I," and is this the " employment of poets now! Do men of their "exalted talents thus ftoop to beggary! Can "they fo far difgrace their calling, as to make a "vile traffick of praise for bread ?"

"O no, Sir," returned he; "a true poet can "never be fo base; for, wherever there is genius, "there is pride. The creatures I now defcribe,

are only beggars in rhyme. The real poet, as "he braves every hardship for fame, fo he is e"qually a coward to contempt; and none but "those who are unworthy protection, condescend "to folicit it.

"Having a mind too proud to stoop to fuch "indignities, and yet a fortune too humble to "hazard a fecond attempt for fame, I was now "obliged to take a middle courfe, and write for "bread. But I was unqualified for a profeffion "where mere industry alone was to enfure fuccefs. "I could not fupprefs my lurking paffion for ap

"plaufe ;

A

R plaufe; but usually confumed that time in ef"forts after excellence, which takes up but little "" room, when it fhould have been more advantageously employed in the diffusive productions "of fruitful mediocrity. My little piece would "therefore come forth, in the mift of periodical "publication, unnoticed and unknown. The "publick were more importantly employed, than "to obferve the easy fimplicity of my style, or "the harmony of my periods. Sheet after sheet was thrown off to oblivion. My effays were "buried among the effays upon liberty, eaftern tales, and cures for the bite of a mad-dog: "while Philautos, Philalethes, Philelutheros, "and Philanthropos, all wrote better, because they wrote fafter than I.

"Now, therefore, I began to affociate with "none but disappointed authors like myself, "who praised, deplored, and despised each other. "The fatisfaction we found in every celebrated "writer's attempts, was inverfely as their merits. "I found that no genius in another could please "me. My unfortunate paradoxes had entirely ❝ dried up that fource of comfort. I could nei"ther read nor write with fatisfaction; for ex"cellence in another was my averfion, and writ❝ing was my trade.

"In the midft of thefe gloomy reflections, as "I was one day fitting on a bench in St. James's "Park, a young gentleman of diftinction, who had been my intimate acquaintance at the uniVOL. II. "versity,

G