Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your

pate.

Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late. [Exeunt.

ACT III.

SCENE 1.-The same. Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, Dromio of Ephesus, Angelo, and Bal

thazar.

Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;

My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours:
Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her carkanet,!
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain, that would face me down
He met me on the mart; and that I beat him,
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold;
And that I did deny my wife and house :-

Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?

Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know:

That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show :

If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,

Your own hand-writing would tell you what I think. Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.

Dro. E.

Marry, so it doth appear

By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear."

I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass, You would keep from my heels, and beware of an

ass.

(1) A necklace strung with pearls.

Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar: 'Pray God, our cheer

May answer my good will, and your good welcome here.

Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.

Ant. E. O, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or

fish,

A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty

dish.

Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.

Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.

Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry feast.

Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest:

But though my cates! be mean, take them in good

part;

Better cheer may you have, but not with better

heart.

But, soft; my door is lock'd; Go bid them let us in. Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen'!

Dro. S. [Within.] Mome,2 malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch !3

Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the

hatch:

Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store,

When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the

door.

Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.

Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet.

(1) Dishes of meat.

(3) Fool.

(2) Blockhead.

Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the

door.

Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.

Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not din'd to-day.

Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe?1

Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name;

The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame. If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou wouldst have chang'd thy face for a name or thy name for an ass.

Luce. [Within.] What a coil2 is there? Dromic who are those at the gate?

Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.

Luce.

Faith, no; he comes too late

O Lord, I must laugh:

Have at you with a proverb.-Shall I set in my

staff?

Luce. Have at you with another: that's,-When? can you tell?

Dro. S. If thy name be call'd Luce, Luce, thou

hast answer'd him well.

Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us

in, I hope?

Luce. I thought to have ask'd you.

Dro. S.

And you said, no.

Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there

was blow for blow.

Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.

Luce.

Can

you tell for whose sake?

(1) I own, am owner of. (2) Bustle, tumult.

Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.

Luce.
Let him knock till it ache.
Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the

door down.

Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?

Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise?

Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.

Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come before.

Adr. Your wife, sir knave? go, get you from the door.

Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore.

Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either.

Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part! with neither.

Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither.

Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in.

Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your garments were thin.

Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in the cold:

It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so bought and sold.2

Ant. E. Go, fetch me something, I'll break ope the gate.

Dro. S. Break any breaking here, and I'll break your knave's pate.

Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, sir: and words are but wind;

Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.

(1) Have part.

(2) A proverbial phrase.

Dro. S. It seems, thou wantest breaking: Out

upon thee, hind!

Dro. E. Here's too much, out upon thee! I pray thee, let me in.

Dro. S. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish have no fin.

Ant. E. Well, I'll break in; Go borrow me a

crow.

Dro. E. A crow without a feather; master, mean you so?

For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a

feather:

If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together.

Ant. E. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron

crow.

Bal. Have patience, sir; O, let it not be so;
Herein you war against your reputation,
And draw within the compass of suspect
The unviolated honour of your wife.

Once this,-Your long experience of her wisdom,
Her sober virtue, years, and modesty,

Plead on her part some cause to you unknown;
And doubt not, sir, that she will well excuse
Why at this time the doors are madel against you.
Be rul'd by me; depart in patience,
And let us to the Tiger all to dinner :
And, about evening, come yourself alone,
To know the reason of this strange restraint.
If by strong hand you offer to break in,
Now in the stirring passage of the day,
A vulgar comment will be made on it;
And that suppos'd by the common rout
Against your yet ungalled estimation,
That may with foul intrusion enter in,
And dwell upon your grave when you are dead
For slander lives upon succession;

For ever hous'd, where it once gets possession.

(1) i. e. Made fast.