ON A PALE LADY WITH A RED-NOSED HUSBAND. Whence comes it that in Clara's face The lily only has its place? Is it because the absent rose Has gone to paint her husband's nose? ON SOME SNOW THAT MELTED ON A LADY'S BREAST. Those envious flakes came down in haste, To prove her breast less fair, But, grieved to find themselves surpassed,* SELVAGGI'S DISTICH ADDRESSED TO JOHN MILTON. While at Rome. Græcia Moonidem, jactet sibi Roma Maronem, DRYDEN'S AMPLIFICATION. Three poets in three distant ages born, To make a third, she joined the former two. The following madrigal was addressed to a Lancastrian lady, and accompanied with a white rose, during the opposition of the "White Rose" and "Red Rose" adherents of the houses of York and Lancaster: If this fair rose offend thy sight, It in thy bosom wear; "Twill blush to find itself less white, COWPER'S TRANSLATION OF THE FOREGOING. Tres tria, sed longe distantia, sæcula vates OVERDRAWN COMPLIMENT. So much, dear Pope, thy English Homer charms, That after-ages will with wonder seek SUGGESTED BY A GERMAN TOURIST. Who accompanied Prince Albert into Scotland. How good the Athol Boetry must be !"-Tom HOOD. Reason does but one quaint solution lend OCCASIONED BY THE LOSS OF A CLERGYMAN'S PORTMANTEAU, I've lost my portmanteau. "I pity your grief." It contained all my sermons. TO A LIVING AUTHOR. Your comedy I've read, my friend, Take courage, man! and steal the rest. * Athol brose is a favorite Highland drink, composed of honey, whiskey, and water, although the proportion of the latter is usually so homœopathically minute as to be difficult of detection except by chemical or microscopical analysis. Possibly the Scotch aversion to injuring the flavor of their whiskey by dilution arises from a fact noted by N. P. Willis, that the water has tasted so strongly of sinners ever since the Flood. THE FRUGAL QUEEN. One Queen Artemisia, as old stories tell, When deprived of her husband she loved so well, ON COMMISSARY GOLDIE'S BRAINS. Lord, to account who dares thee call, Or e'er dispute thy pleasure? Else why within so thick a wall Enclose so poor a treasure?-Burns. GIVING AND TAKING. "I never give a kiss," says Prue, "To naughty man, for I abhor it." She will not give a kiss, 'tis true: She'll take one, though, and thank you for it.-MOORE. ΤΟ "Moria pur quando vuol non è bisogna mutar ni faccia ni voce per esser un Angelo." Die when you will, you need not wear At Heaven's court a form more fair Than beauty here on earth has given; An angel ready-made for heaven!-MOORE. THE LOVER TO HIS MISTRESS, WITH A PRESENT OF A MIRROR. This mirror my object of love will unfold Oh, would, when I'm gazing, that I might behold TO A CAPRICIOUS FRIEND. Difficilis, facilis, jucundus, acerbus es idem, [In all thy humors, whether grave or mellow, Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, Hast so much wit, and mirth, and spleen about thee, There is no living with thee, nor without thee.-ADDISON.] MENDAX. See! yonder goes old Mendax, telling lies To that good, easy man with whom he's walking. How know I that? you ask, with some surprise; Why, don't you see, my friend, the fellow's talking!-LESSING. ON FELL. While Fell was reposing himself on the hay, A reptile, concealed, bit his leg as he lay; But, all venom himself, of the wound he made light, ON AN ILL-READ LAWYER. An idle attorney besought a brother For "something to read,-some novel or other, "Take Chitty!" replies his legal friend: "There isn't a book that I could lend, That would prove more novel' to you!"-SAXE. WOMAN'S WILL. Men dying make their wills; but wives Why should they make what all their lives WELLINGTON'S NOSE. "Pray, why does the great Captain's nose ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER. But treasure chanced to find: He pocketed the miser's pelf, And left the rope behind. His money gone, the miser hung Himself in sheer despair: Thus each the other's wants supplied, And that was surely fair. BAD SONGSTERS. Swans sing before they die: 'twere no bad thing Did certain persons die before they sing.-COLEridge. ON A BAD FIDDLER. Old Orpheus played so well, he moved Old Nick; ON A CERTAIN D.D. Who, from a peculiarity in his walk, had acquired the sobriquet of Dr. Toe, being jilted by Miss H., who eloped with her father's footman. "Twixt footman Sam and Doctor Too A controversy fell, Which should prevail against his foe, The lady chose the footman's heart. ON AN OLD LADY WHO MARRIED HER FOOTMAN. "How much corn may a gentleman eat?" whispered P, "As to that," answered Q, as he glanced at the heap, BONNETS. In 1817, when straw bonnets first came into general use, it was common to trim them with artificial wheat or barley, in ears; whence the following: Who now of threatening famine dare complain, To fill their granaries, may thresh their wives! Campbell, the poet, was asked by a lady to write something original in her album. He wrote,— An original something, dear maid, you would win me To write; but how shall I begin? For I'm sure I have nothing original in me, Excepting original sin. |