A city knight, who was unable to aspirate the H, on being deputed to give King William III. an address of welcome, uttered the following equivocal compliment : "Future ages, recording your Majesty's exploits, will pronounce you to have been a Nero!" Mrs. Crawford says she wrote one line in her song, Kathleen Mavourneen, for the express purpose of confounding the cockney warblers, who sing it thus: The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill. Moore has laid the same trap in the Woodpecker:- And the elephant confounds them the other A helephant heasily heats at his hease, Hunder humbrageous humbrella trees. DOW'S ALPHABETICAL ADVICE. way: - A. Always attend to your own avocation, avoid ale-houses. and artful women. B.-Benevolent but not prodigal, bury all bickerings in the bosom of forgetfulness. C.-Contrive to collect cash and keep it. D.-Do your duty and defy the devil. E. Early endeavor to eradicate every error, both of head and heart. F.-Fight fairly when you fight; but the better way is not to fight at all. Fiddle for no fools. G.-Grace, goodness, gumption, and a little goose-grease, enable a man to slip through the world mighty easy. Get them and glory in them. H.-Harbor hope in your heart if you would be happy; but hark ye, hope can't sunder nor rot the rope of a hangman. I.-Inquisitiveness is insufferable; indulge not in it. J.-Juleps may be called the juice of joy and the yeast of jest; but let them alone, for too much joking often destroys the joviality of the social circle. K.-Kindness kindles the fire of friendship. A kiss always avails more than a kick. L.-Love the ladies, look before you leap, eschew loaferism. M.-Make not mischief by meddling with other folks' busi ness. N.-Never be caught napping except in the night-time. P.-Pursue the plain path of probity, and put in practice what you will give in precept. Q-Quarrel not, quibble not, be not fond of asking questions, or addicted to queries. R.-Rum ruins respectability; renounce, renew, and renovate. S.-Seek salvation; oh, ye sinners! become saints, and you are safe. T. Take time by the forelock: try to turn every moment to account. U.-Union unites to unity: in the whole universe there is unison; be you therefore united for the sake of unison. V. Vanity has connection with valor, remember that. W.-Women and wine bring want, woe, and wretchedness, when wickedly indulged in. X.-'Xtra 'xertions accomplish 'xtraordinary ends. Y.-Yield to no tyrant: yeomen and their yoke-fellows are lords of the soil. Z.-Zig-zagging is characteristic of a zany: take a straight course through life, and zealously pursue it. ALPHABETICAL ALLITERATION. THE SIEGE OF BELGRADE. An Austrian army, awfully arrayed, For fame, for fortune-fighting furious fray : Generals 'gainst generals grapple-gracious God! How honors Heaven, heroic hardihood! Infuriate,-indiscriminate in ill, Kindred kill kinsmen,-kinsmen kindred kill! Labor low levels loftiest longest lines Men march 'mid mounds, 'mid moles, 'mid murderous mines: Now noisy, noxious, noticed nought Of outward obstacles opposing ought: Poor patriots, partly purchased, partly pressed: Quite quaking, quickly quarter, quarter quest, Vanish vain victory, vanish victory vain! Wherefore welcome were Xerxes, Ximenes, Xanthus, Xaviere? Yield! ye youths! ye yeomen, yield your yell! And all attracting-arms against acts appeal. THE BUNKER HILL MONUMENT CELEBRATION. Americans arrayed and armed attend; Guards greeting guards grown grey,-guest greeting guest. Kith kenning kin,-kind knowing kindred key. These thrilling themes, to thousands truly told, Usurpers' unjust usages unfold. Victorious vassals, vauntings vainly veiled, Where, whilesince, Webster, warlike Warren wailed. 'Xcuse 'xpletives 'xtra-queer 'xpressed, Yielding Yankee yeomen zest. THE following fugitive specimens are good instances of modern attempts at alliteration : COMPLIMENTARY OF CHESS. Cherished chess! The charms of thy checkered chambers chain me changelessly. Chaplains have chanted thy charming choiceness; chieftains have changed the chariot and the chase for the chaster chivalry of the chess-board, and the cheerier charge of the chess-knights. Chaste-eyed Caissa! For thee are the chaplets of chainless charity and the chalice of childlike cheerfulness. No chilling churl, no cheating chafferer, no chattering changeling, no chanting charlatan can be thy champion; the chivalrous, the charitable, and the cheerful are the chosen ones thou cherishest. Chance cannot change thee: from the cradle of childhood to the charnel-house, from our first childish chirpings to the chills of the church-yard, thou art our cheery, changeless chieftainess. Chastener of the churlish, chider of the changeable, cherisher of the chagrined, the chapter of thy chiliad of charms should be chanted in cherubic chimes by choicest choristers, and chiseled on chalcedon in cherubic chirography. Hood, in describing the sensations of a dramatist awaiting his debut, thus uses the letter F in his Ode to Perry :— All Fume and Fret, Fuss, Fidget, Fancy, Fever, Funking, Fright, The repetition of the same letter in the following is very ingenious: FELICITOUS FLIGHT OF FANCY. "A famous fish-factor found himself father of five flirting females-Fanny, Florence, Fernanda, Francesca, and Fenella. The first four were flat-featured, ill-favored, forbidding-faced, freckled frumps, fretful, flippant, foolish, and flaunting. Fenella was a fine-featured, fresh, fleet-footed fairy, frank, free, and full of fun. The fisher failed, and was forced by fickle fortune to forego his footman, forfeit his forefathers' fine field, and find a forlorn farm-house in a forsaken forest. The four fretful females, fond of figuring at feasts in feathers and fashionable finery, fumed at their fugitive father. Forsaken by fulsome, flattering fortune-hunters, who followed them when first they flourished, Fenella fondled her father, flavored their food, forgot her flattering followers, and frolicked in a frieze without flounces. The father, finding himself forced to forage in foreign parts for a fortune, found he could afford a faring to his five fondlings. The first four were fain to foster their frivolity with fine frills and fans, fit to finish their father's finances; Fenella, fearful of flooring him, formed a fancy for a full fresh flower. Fate favored the fish-factor for a few days, when he fell in with a fog; his faithful Filley's footsteps faltered, and food failed. He found himself in front of a fortified fortress. Finding it forsaken, and feeling himself feeble, and forlorn with fasting, he fed on the fish, flesh, and fowl he found, friccaseed, and when full fell flat on the floor. Fresh in the forcnoon, he forthwith flew to the fruitful fields, and not forgetting Fenella, he filched a fair flower; when a foul, frightful, fiendish figure flashed forth: Felonious fellow, fingering my flowers, I'll finish you! Fly; say farewell to your fine felicitous family, and face me in a fortnight! The faint-hearted fisher fumed and faltered, and fast and far was his flight. His five daughters flew to fall at his feet and fervently felicitate him. Frantically and fluently he unfolded his fate. Fenella, forthwith fortified by filial fondness, followed her father's footsteps, and flung her faultless form at the foot of the frightful figure, who forgave the father, and fell flat on his face, for he had fervently fallen in a fiery fit of love for the fair Fenella. He feasted her till, fascinated by his faithfulness, she forgot the ferocity of his face, form, and features, and frankly and fondly fixed Friday, fifth of February, for the affair to come off. There was festivity, fragrance, finery, fireworks, friccaseed frogs, fritters, fish, flesh, |