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çars, and away, like three German devils, three | together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven Dector Faustuses.
well, that you are so crossed. Hast. They are gone but to meet the duke, vil Fal. Come up into my chamber. (Exeunt. lain : do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest
SCENE VI. - Another Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Sir Hugu Evans
Enter FENTON and Host. Es. Where is mine host ?
Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind Haat. What is the matter, sir?
is heavy, I will give over all. En. Have a care of your entertainments: there Fent. Yet hear me speak : Assist me in my purs a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there
pose, is three couzin germans, that has cozened all the And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee bouts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, | A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss.
borses and money. I tell you for good-will, Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I book you: you are wise, and full of gibes and will, at the least, keep your counsel. sleuting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you be cozebed : Fare you well.
(Erit. With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;
Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection
(So far forth as herself might be her chooser,) Caius Vere is mine Host de Jarterre?
Even to my wish : I have a letter from her Hast. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and of such contents as you will wonder at; doubitul dilemma.
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat : But it is tell-a | That neither, singly, can be manifested, *, dat you make grand preparation for a duke Without the show of both ; — wherein fat Falstaff
Jarrasy: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de Hath a great scene : the image of the jest wurt is know to come: I tell you for good vill :
[Showing the letter. cheu.
(E.cit. I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host : Has. Hue and cry, villain, go : - assist me, To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and kragtt; I am undone : fly, run, hue and cry, villain. I un undone !
Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen : (Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH. The purpose why, is here ; in which disguise, FL I would, all the world might be cozened; for While other jests are something rank on foot, I have been cozened, and beaten too. If it should Her father hath commanded her to slip one to the car of the court, how I have been Away with Slender, and with him at Eton transfortaed, and how my transformation hath been Immediately to marry: she hath consented : rashed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of Now, sir, sy fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots Her mother, even strong against that match, vió me; I warrant, they would whip me with their And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed fire wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. That he shall likewise shuffle her away, Iber prospered since I forswore myself at prin While other sports are tasking of their minds,
Well, if my wind were but long enough to And at the deanery, where a priest attends, s my prayers, I would repent.
Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
Made promise to the doctor; - Now thus it rests : Wow! stence come you?
Her father means she shall be all in white; Quict. From the two parties, forsooth.
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time Fal. The desil take one party, and his dam the To take her by the hand, and bid her go, seer, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have She shall go with him : her mother hath intended, suffered more for their sakes, more, than the vil. The better to denote her to the doctor, lainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to (For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint in green, she shall be loose enrob'd, Quick. And have not they suffered ? Yes, I war With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head; at; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, bers, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token, a bite spot about her.
The maid hath given consent to go with him. Fel. What tell'st thou me of black and blue ? Host. Which means she to deceive ? father or I was beaten myself into all the colours of the
mother? ranboy ; and I was like to be apprehended for the Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me; wild of Brentford ; but that my admirable dex And here it rests, – that you'll procure the vicar terity of wit, tay counterfeiting the action of an To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, old medan, deliver'd me, the knave constable bad And, in the lawful name of marrying, et ne i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a To give our hearts united ceremony. witch.
Host. Well, husband your device ; l'll to the . Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your cham
vicar: ba: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. to your content. Here is a letter will say some Fent. So shall I ever more be bound to thee; whatGood hearts, what ado here is to bring you Besides, I'll make a present recompense. (Ereunt,
SCENE I. - A Room in the Garter Inn. Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Erit Carus. Enter PALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY.
My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse
of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying Fal. Fr’ythee, no more prattling :-go. -I'll
my daughter : but 'tis no matter; better a little hold: This is the third time; I hope, good luck chiding, than a great deal of heart-break. lies in odd numbers. Away, go, they say, there is Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, fairies ? and the Welch devil, Hugh? or death. Away:
Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard Quick. I'll provide you a chain : and I'll do what by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at I can to get you a pair of horns.
the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they Fal. Away, I say ; time wears : hold up your will at once display to the night. head, and mince.
(Exit Mrs. QuickLY. Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. Enter FORD.
Mrs. Page. If he be not anazed, he will be
mocked ; if he be amazed, he will every way be How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the mocked. matter will be known to-night, or never.
Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their you shall see wonders.
lechery, Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you Those that betray them do no treachery. told me you had appointed ?
Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on ; To the oak, to Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, the oak !
(Exeunt. like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave,
SCENE IV. - Windsor Park, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed
Enter Sir Hugh Evans, and Fairies. frenzy. I will tell you. – He beat me grievously, Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, your parts : be pold, I pray you ; follow me into master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I beam ; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am pid you ; Come, come; trib, trib. [Exeunt, in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I pluck'd geese, play'd truant, and SCENE V. Another part of the Park. whipp'd top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately." Follow me : I'll tell you strange things
Enter Falstaff disguised, with a buck's head on. of this knave Ford : on whom to-night I will be re Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the venged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. - minute draws on : Now, the hot-blooded gods assist Follow: Strange things in hand, master Brook! · Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy follow.
[Exeunt. Europa ; love set on thy horns. O powerful love!
that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in SCENE II. Windsor Park.
some other, a man a beast. —You were also, Jupiter,
a swan, for the love of Leda: - O, omnipotent Enter Page, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
love! how near the god drew to the complexion of Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle a goose ? — A fault done first in the form of a beast ; ditch, till we see the light of our fairies. - Remem O Jove, a beastly fault! and thien another fault ber, son Slender, my daughter.
in the semblance of a fowl ; think on't, Jove ; a Slen. Ay, forsooth ; I have spoke with her, and foul fault. When gods have hot backs, what shall we have a nay-word, how to know one another. poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor*stag; I come to her in white, and cry, mum; she cries and the fattest, I think, i' the forest : Send me a budget; and by that we know one another.
cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss Shal. That's good too: but what needs either my tallow? Who comes here ? my doe ? your mum, or her budget ? the white will decipher her well enough. - It hath struck ten o'clock.
Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. PAGE. Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will Mrs. Ford. Sir John ? art thou there, my deer? become it well. Heaven, prosper our sport ! No my male deer? man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him Fal. My doe with the black scut ? — Let the sky by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt. rain potatoes ; let it thunder to the tune of Green
Sleeves; hail kiscing-comfits, and snow eringoes : SCENE III. - The Street in Windsor. let there come a tempest of provocation, I will
shelter me here. Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Dr. Caius.
Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, Mrs. Page. Master Doctor, my daughter is in sweetheart. green : when you see your time, take her by the Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the it quickly: Go before into the park ; we two must fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your go trgether.
husbands. Am I a woodman ? ha! Speak I like Cuius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu. Herne the hunter ? - Why, now is Cupid a child at
vescience; he makes restitution. As I am a true Quik. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end çirit, welcome!
(Noise within. If he be chaste, the flame will back descend, Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise ?
And turn him to no pain ; but if he start, Mrs. Ferd. Heaven forgive our sins!
It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. Fel. What should this be?
Pist. A trial, come. Mr. Ferd.
Come, will this wood take fire ? Ur. Page [They run off
[They burn him with their lapers. Fed. I think, the desil will not have me damned, Fal. Oh, oh, oh! est the oil that is in me should set hell on fire ; he Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! pould never else cross me thus.
About him, fairies ; sing a scornful rhyme ; Late Sir Hucu Evans, like a satyr ; Mrs. Quickly, And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. cred Pistok; Anxz Page, as the Fairy Queen, and iniquity.
Eva. It is right; indeed he is full of lecheries Aftended by her brother and others, dressed like
SONG. fairies with nozen tapers on their heads. Quick Furies, black, grey, green, and white,
Fye on sinful fantasy! la noon-skine revellers, and shades of night,
Fye on lust and luxury ! i You opban-beirs of fixed destiny,
Lust is but a bloody fire, Astand your office, and your quality.
Kindled with unchaste desire, Criar Hobgoblin, make the fairy o-yes.
Fed in heart ; whose flames aspire, Ks. Eltes, list your names; silence, you airy
As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher. toys,
Pinch him, fairies, mutually ; Cricket , to Windsor chimnies shalt thou leap :
Pinch him for his villainy ; Where fires thou find'st unrak'd, and hearths un
Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, swept,
Till candles, and star-light, and moon-shine be out. Thee pinch the maids as blue as bilberry : During this song, the fairies pinch Falstaff. Doctor Ou radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.
Caius comes one way, and steals away a fairy in Fl. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them, green ; Slender another way, and takes off a fairy shall die :
in white ; and Fenton comes, and steals away Mrs. 11 ink and couch: no man their works must eye. Anne Page. A noise of hunting is made within. (Lies down upon his face. All the fuiries run away.
Falstaff pulls off his Eks. Where's Pede? - Go you, and where you buck's head, and rises.
find a maid, That , ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said,
Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. Page, and Mrs. FORD. Paise up the organs of her fantasy,
They lay hold on him. Sleep she as sound as careless infaney;
Page. Nay, do not fly; I think, we have watch'd But those as sleep, and think not on their sins,
you now: Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn'
Mrs. Page. I pray you, come ; hold up the jest Quick About, about;
no higher : Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out : Now, good sir John, how like you Windsor wives? Strea good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room ; See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes Then it may stand till the perpetual doom,
Become the forest better than the town? In state as wholesome, as in state 'tis fit ;
Ford. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? — Master Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here The several chairs of order look you scour
are his horns, master Brook: And, master Brook, path juice of balm, and every precious flower : he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buckEach fair instalment, coat, and several crest, basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money ; With Loyal blazon, evermore be blest!
which must be paid to master Brook ; his horses And tightly, meadow-fairies, look, you sing, are arrested for it, master Brook. Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring :
Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we The espressure that it bears, green let it be,
could never meet. I will never take you for my Varo fertile-fresh than all the field to see ;
love again, but I will always count you my deer. And , Heny saxt qur mal y pense, write,
Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made an Is emerald tufts
, flowers purple, blue, and white : like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,
Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are baked below fair knight-hood's bending knee : Féries use fowers for their charactery:
Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three or 414; disperse : But, till 'tis one o'clock, four times in the thought, they were not fairies : and Oa dance of custom, round about the oak yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprize Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.
of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery Eve. Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves into a received belief
, in despite of the teeth of all
rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now, And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, how wit may be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon To guide sur measure round about the tree. ill employment. Bet , say: I smell a man of middle
Eva. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your Fal. Mearens defend me from that Welch fairy! desires, and fairies will not pinse you. is be transforin me to a piece of cheese!
Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh. Pist . Vile worm, thou wast o'erlook'd even in Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray thy birth.
in order set:
Hird. I will never mistrust my wife again, till Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I thou art able to woo her in good English.
tell you, how you should know my daughter by her Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried garments ? it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'er Slen. I went to her in white, and cry'd mum, reaching as this ? Am I ridden with a Welch goat and she cry'd budget, as Anne and I had appointed; too? Shall I have a coxcomb of frize? 'Tis time I and yet it was not Anne, but a post-master's boy. were choked with a piece of toasted cheese.
Eva. Jeshu ! Master Slender, cannot you see but Eva. Seese is not good to give putter ; your pelly marry boys ? is all putter.
Page. O, I am vexed at heart: What shall I do? Fal. Seese and putter! have I lived to stand at Mrs. Page. Good George, be not angry: I knew the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? of your purpose ; turned my daughter into green;
This is enough to be the decay of lust and late- and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the walking, through the realm.
deanery, and there married. Mrs. Page. Why, sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the
Enter Caius. head and shoulders, and have given ourselves with
Caius. Vere is mistress Page? By gar, I am out scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight?
cozened ; I ha' married un garçon, a boy; un paiFord. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax ?
san, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page : by gar, I
am cozened. Mrs. Page. A puffed man? Page. Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable
Mrs. Page. Why, did you take her in green? entrails?
Caius. Ay, be gar, and 'tis a boy: be gar, I'll
raise all Windsor. Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan?
(Erit Caius. Page. And as poor as Job?
Ford. This is strange : Who hath got the right
Page. My heart misgives me: Here comes mas
ter Fenton, and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and
Enter FENTON and AnnE PAGE. prabbles ?
Fal. Well, I am your theme: you have the start How now, master Fenton ? of me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother, the Welch flannel : ignorance itself is a plummet
pardon! o'er me; use me as you will.
Page. Now, mistress ? how chance you went not Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to with master Slender ? one master Brook, that you have cozened of money, Mrs. Page. Why went you not with master docto whom you should have been a pander : over and
tor, maid? above that you have suffered, I think, to repay that Fent. You do amaze her : Hear the truth of it. money will be a biting affliction.
You would have married her most shamefully, Mrs. Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to make Where there was no proportion held in love. amends :
The truth is, she and I, long since contracted, Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends. Are now so sure, that nothing can dissolve us. Ford. Well, here's my hand; all's forgiven at The offence is holy, that she hath committed : last.
And this deceit loses the name of craft, Page. Yet be cheerful, knight : thou shalt eat a Of disobedience, or unduteous title ; posset to-night at my house ; where I will desire Since therein she doth evitate and shun thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee : A thousand irreligious cursed hours, Tell her, master Slender hath married her daughter. Which forced marriage would have brought upon Mrs. Page. Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page
her. be my daughter, she is, by this, doctor Caius' wife. Ford. Stand not amaz'd: here is no remedy:
[Aside. In love, the heavens themselves do guide the state; Enter SLENDER.
Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.
Fal. I am glad, though you have ta'en a special Slen. Whoo, ho! ho ! father Page !
stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanceda Page. Son! how now ? how now, son? have you Page. Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give despatched ?
thee joy! Slen. Despatched !- I'll make the best in Glo What cannot be eschew'd, must be embrac'de cestershire know on't; would I were hanged, la, else. Fal. When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are Page. Of wbat, son ?
chas'd. Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry mistress Eva. I will dance and eat plums at your wedding. Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly boy ; If it Mrs. Page. Well, I will muse no further : had not been i' the church, I would have swinged
Master Fenton, him, or he should have swinged me. If I did not Heaven give you many, many merry days!think it had been Anne Page, would I might never Good husband, let us every one go home, stir, and 'tis a post-master's boy.
And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire; Page. Upon my life then you took the wrong. Sir John and all.
Slen. What need you tell me that ? I think so, Ford. Let it be so :- Sir John, when I took a boy for a girl : If I had been mar To master Brook you yet shall hold your word ; ried to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I For he, to-night, shall lie with mistress Ford. would not have had him.
Oegso, Duke of Illyria.
servants to Oliviao . SEBASTIAN,
a young gentleman, brother to Viola. Clown, Artorio, a sea capiain, friend to Sebastian. 4 un cuplain, friend to Viola.
OLIVIA, a rich Countess. VALENTINE,
VIOLA, in love with the Duke.
MARIA, Olivia's woman.
Lords, Priests, Sailors, Officers, Musicians, and MALFOLIO, steward to Olivia.
other Attendants. SCENE, - A City in ILLYRIA ; and the Sea-coast near it.
SCENE I. – An Apartment in the Duke's Palace.
Dube. If musick be the food of love, play on,
Car. Will you go hunt, my lord ?
. Why, so I do, the noblest that I have :
Duke. O, she, that hath a heart of that fine frame,