lea vine the fear of heaven on the left hand, and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour 1 You will not do it, you I Pist. I do relent: what wouldst thou more of man? Enter Robin. Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. Fal. Let her approach. Enter Mistress Quickly. Quick. Give your worship good-morrow. Fal. Good-morrow, good wife. Quick. Not so, an't please your worship. Fal. Good maid, then. [hour I was born. Quick. Til be sworn; as my mother was, the first FaL I do believe the swearer. What with me! Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two? (safe thee the hearing. Fal. Two thousand, fair woman; and 111 voucn Quick. There is one mistress Ford, sir;—I pray, come a little nearer this ways.—I myself dwell with master Doctor Cains,— Fal. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say,— Quick. Your worship says very true:—I pray your worship, come a little nearer this ways. Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears;—mine own people, mine own people. [them his servants! Quick. Are they so f Heaven bless them, and make Fal. Well: Mistress Ford;—what of her? Quick. Why, sir.she'sagoodcreature. Lord,Iord! your worship s a wanton t Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray! Fal. Mistress Ford ;—come, mistress Ford,— Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it: you have brought her into such a canaries, as lis wonderful? the best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary: yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen with their coaches; f warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly—all musk—and so rnshling, 1 warrant you, in sillc and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best, andthe fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.—I had ipyself twenty angels given me this morning; but I defy all angels, (in any such sort, as they say,) but in the way ofhonesty:—and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all: and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; but, 1 warrant you, all is one with her. [she Mercury. Fal. But what says she to me? be brief my good Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times; and she fives you to notify, that her husband will be absence rom his house between ten and eleven. Fal. Ten and eleven? Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of:—master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he's a very jealousy man; she leadsavery frampold life with him. good heart. [her; 1 will not fail her. Fal. Ten and eleven.—Woman, commend me to Quick. Why, you say well. But I have another messenger to your worship. Mistress Page hath he! hearty commendations to you, too:—andlet me tell you in your ear, she s as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other:—and she bade me tell your worship, that her husband is seldom from home; but, she hopes, there will come a time. 1 never knew a woman so dote upon a man: surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth. Fal, Not I, I assure thee: setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Quick. Blessing on your heart for't! Fal. But, I prav_ thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me 7 Quick. That were a iest, indeed !—they have not so little grace, I hope :—that were a trick, indeed!—Bui mistress Pa^e would desire you to send her your little ".ge, of all loves: her husband has a marvellous in t the little page; and, truly, master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does: do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will: and, truly, she deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page: no remedy. Fal. Why, I will. Quick. Nay, but do so, then : and, look you, he may coine and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nayword, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy never need to understand anything; for 'tis not good that children should know any wir Redness: old tolks, you know, have discretion, as ihey say, and know the world. Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to then: both. There's my purse; I am yet thy debtor.—Boy, go along with this woman.—[Exeunt Quickly and Kobin.1 This news distracts me. Pist. This punk is one of Cnpid's carriers.— Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights; Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm thein all! \Exit. Fal. Sayest thou so, old Tack I go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee: Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them say, 'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter. Enter Bardolph. Bard. Srjohn, there's one master Brook below would fain speak with you. and be acquainted with you: and hath sent your worship a morning's draught of sack. Fal. Brook, is Ins name t Bard. Ay, sir. Fat. Call him in, [Exit Bardolph.] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o'ernow such liquor.—Ah, ha! mistress Ford and mistress Page, have I encompassed you? go to ; via / Re-enter Bardolph, jnth Ford disguised. Ford. Bless you, sir! Fal. And you, sir! would you speak with me? Ford. I make bold, to press with so little preparation upon you. Fal. You're welcome. What's your will?—Give us leave, drawer. [Exit Bardolph. Ford. Sir, 1 am a gentleman that have spent much: my name is Brook. [of you. Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaintance Ford. Good Sir John, I sueforyours: not to charge Sou ; for 1 must let you understand, I think myself in etter plight for a lender than you are : the which hath something emboldened ine to this unseasoned intrusion; for, they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open. Fal. Money is a eood soldier, sir, and will on. Ford. Troth, ana I have a bag of money here roubles me; if you will help to bear it. Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage. [porter. Fal. Sir, 1 know not how I may deserve to bo your Ford. I will tell you sir, if you will give me the earing. [be your servant. Fal. Speak, good master Brook; I shall be glad to Ford. Sir, 1 hear you are a scholar,—1 will be brief with you ;—and you have l>een a man long known to ne, though I had never so good means, as desire, to nake myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a tiling to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine □wn imperfection; but, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear thein unfolded, turn mother into the register of your own, that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you yourself know how ^■asy it is to be such an offender. fal. Very well, sir; proceed. Ford. Th-jre i; a gentlewoman in this town, her Fal. Wet, sir. [husband's name is Ford. Ford. I have lotg loved her, and, I protest to you, ;>estowed much on her; followed her with a dotingobservance: engrossed opportunities to meet her; ee'd every sli. h occasion that could but nigg .ruly ^ive me sight of her; not only bought many presents !o give her, but have given largely to many, to kfiow ■.vhat she would have given. Briefly, I have pursued her as love hath pursue 1 me; which hath been nn the iving ot iiii urcasi'.ins. BuL whatsoever 1 have merited, oitlior in my m'nd, or in my me.ins, tr.eed, I am Mire, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel: that I have purchased at an infinite rats; and that hath taught me to say this,— Lffvelikea shadowflics, when substance loz>e pursues; Pursuing that that flies, andflyingwhat pttrsues. Fal. II tve yon received no promise of satisfaction Ford. Never. [at her hands V Fa'. Have you importuned her to such a purpose? Ford. Never. Fal. Of what quality was your love, then! Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another man's er-und; Fo that I h.ive lost my edifice, by mistaking tin? pl^ce where 1 erected it. |mev Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to Ford. When 1 have told you that, 1 have told you all. Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet in ot!i?r places she enlargeth fier ;ii>ti, so far, that there is shrewd construction made of her. New, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of | great admittance, authentic in your place and person, ger.era'.ly allowed for your many warlike, court-like, Fal. (), sir! [and learned preparations. Ford. Believe it, for you know it.—There :s money; spend it, spend it; spend mope ; spend all I have; only give ine so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty o! this Ford's wife: use your art of wooing; win her to consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposterously. Ford. O, understand my dri't. She dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself: she is too bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves: I could drive her from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her msf"riage vow, and a thousand o"h?r her defences, which nnw are too stron-^y embattled ngainst ine. What say you to't. Sir John? Fal. Master liror.k, T will first make bold with your money; next, give ine your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. Ford. 0 good sir! Fat. I say you shall. [none. Ford. Want no money. Sir John; you shall want Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook; you shall want none. Ishall bewithheri'l may tell you) by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from me: I say, 1 shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed. [know l ord, sir? Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know flim not.—Yet I wrong him, to call him poor: they say, the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; forthe which, his wife seems to ine well-favoured. 1 will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home, [avoid him, if you saw him. Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogu j! I will stare him out of his wits; J will awe him with my cudgel, —it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife.—Come to me soon at night.—Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his style; thou, master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold.—Come to me soon at night. {Exit. Ford. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this!— My heart is ready to crack witli impatience.—Who says this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made. Would any manliave thought this?—See the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I shail not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names!—Aiuaiiuon sounds well: Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils* additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold! wittol cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass: he will trust his wife ; he willnot be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vita; bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, then she ruminates, then she clevises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they ill break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be raised for iny jealousy!—Eleven o'clock the hour:—I ill prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falnh, and laugii at Page. I will about it; better three hours too soon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie. fie I cuckold! cuckold 1 cuckold! [Exit. SCENE III.—Windsor Park. Cains. Vat is de clock. Jack? [to meet. Rug. 'Tis past the hour, sir. that Sir Hugh promised Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no fflie: he has pray his Pible veil, dat he is no come. By gar. Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. Rug. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him, if he came. Cains. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier. Jack; I vill tell you how Rug. Alas, sir! I cannot fence. [I vill kill him. Caius. Villainy! take your rapier. Rug. Forbear; here's company. , Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page. Host. Bless thee, buily doctor! Shal. Save you, master Doctor Caius I Page. Now, good master doctor! Slen. Give you good-morrow, sir. Caius. Vat be all you, one, two. tree, four, come for? Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there ; to see thee pass thy punto. thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my .-Esculapiust my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully Stale? is he dead? Cains. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld ; he is not show his face. [Greece, my boy I Host. Thou art a Castalian king, Urinal! Hector of Cains. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come. Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.—Is it not true, master Page? Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace. Shal. Bodykins, master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, master Page. 'Tis true, master Shallow. ll'igc Shal. It will be found so, master Page.—Master doctor Caius, 1 am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace: you have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me. master doctor. (Mock-w.-ner. Host. Pardon, guest-justice. — A word, nnmsir;ur Caius. Mock-vater! vat is dat? [bully. Host. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is v.iiour, Cains. By gar, den, I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman.—Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears. Jfoit. I will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. Cains. Cl;tpper-de-c1aw! vat is dat? Host. That is, he will make thee amends. Cains. By gar, me do look, he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, ine vill have it. Host. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag, Caius. Me tank you for dat. Host. Aiul'moreover. bully,—But first, master guest, and master Page, and eke cavalero Slender, {aside to them,] go you through the town to Fro^more. Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he? Host. He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctorabout by the fields. Will it do well? Shal. We will do it. Page, Shal., and Slen. A-dieu, good master doctor. {Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender. Caius. By gar, me vill kili de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page. Host. Let him die: sheathe thy impatience; ihrow cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore: I will bring thee where mistress Anne Pane is, at a farm-house a-fcasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cry aim, said I well? Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I love you; and 1 shall procure-a you de good guest, deearl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, iny patients. Host. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well? Cains. By gar, 'tis good; veil said. Host. Let us wag, then. Caius. Come at my heets. Jack Rugby. [Exeunt. ACT III. SCENE I.—A Field near Frogmore. Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple. Eva. I pray you now, good master Slenders servingman, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for master Cams, that calls himself Doctor of Physic? Sim. Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way. |look that way. Eva. I most feheiuently desire you, you will also Sim. I will, sir. {Retiring. Eva. Pless iny soul! how full of cholcrs 1 am, and trempling of mind!—I shall be glad, if he have deceived me.—How melancholies I am!—I will knog his urinals rtbout his knave's costard, when I have goot opportunities for the 'ork :— pless my soul 1— [Sings. To shallow rivers, to whose falls Melodious birds sing madrigals; There will we make our peds of roses. And a thousand fragrant posies. To shallow— Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. [Sings. Melodious birds sing madrigals :— Sim. \ComingforwardJ[ Yonder he is, coming this way. Sir Hugh. Eva. He's welcome.— [Sings. To shallow rivers, to whose falls— Heaven prosper the right!—what weapons is he? Sim. No weapons, sir. There comes my master, master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile, this way. Eva. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms. [Reads in a book. Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. Shal. Hownow, master parson! Good-morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and agood student from his book, and it is wonderful. Sleu. Ah, sweet Anne Page I Page. Save you, good Sir Hugh I Eva. Pless you from His mercy sake, all of you! Shal. What, the sword and the word I do you study them both, master parson f Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day? Eva. There is reasons and causes for it. Page. We are come to you to do a good office, Eva. Ferywell: what is it? [master parson. Page Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you saw. Shal. I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, Eva. What is he? [so wide of his own respect. Page. I think you know him; master doctor Caius, the renowned French physician. Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my heart I I had as lief you would tell ine of a mess of porridge. Page. Why? Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibbocratcs and Galen,—and he is a knave besides: a cowardly knave, as you would desires to be acquainted withal. Page. I warrant you, he's the man should light with Sim. O, sweet Anne Page! [him. Shal. It appears so, by his weapons.—Keep them asunder:—here conies doctor Caius. Enter Host, Cains, and Rugby. Page. Nay, good master parson. Keep in your Shal. So do you, good master doctor. [weapon. Host. Disarm them, and let them question: let them keep their limits whole, and hack our English. - Caius. I pray you. let-amu speak a word vit your ear: verefore vill you not meet-a me? Eva. Pray you, use your patience: in goot time. Caius. By gar, you arc de coward, de Jack dog, John ape. Eva. Pray you, let us not l>e laughing-stogs to other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will oneway or other make you amends:—I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogsenmb for missing your meetings and appointments. Caius. Diable !—Jack Rugby,—mine host de Jarretiere,—have I not stay for him to kill him? have 1 not, at de place 1 did appoint? Eva. As 1 am a Christian soul, now, look you, this is tlte place appointed: I'll be judgment by mine host of the Garter. Host. Peace, I say, Gallia and Guallia; French and Welsh ; soubcurer and body-curer 1 Caius. Ay, dat is very good; excellent. Host. Peace, I say I hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose iny doctor? no ; he gives me the potions, and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs. —Give me thy nand, terrestrial; so:—give ine thy hand, celestial; so.—Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue.—Come, lay their swords to pawn.— Follow me. lad of peace; foil ow, follow, follow. Shal. Trust me, a mad host!—Follow, gentlemen, Sleu. 0, sweet Anne Pagel [follow. [Exeunt Shallow, Slender, Page, and Host. Caius. Ha, do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha? Eva. This is well; he has made us his vloutingstog. —I desire you, that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this name seal), scurvey, cogging companion, the host of the Garter. Caius. By gar, vit all my heart. He promise to bring me vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me loo. Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles.—Pray you, follow. [Exeunt. SCENE 11.—A Street in Windsor. Enter Mistress Page and Robin. Mrs. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant: you were wont to l»c a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels? Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf. Mrs. Page. O, you are a flattering boy: now I see you'll be a courtier. Enter Ford. Ford. Well met, mistress Page. Whither go you? Mrs. Page. Truly, sir, to se^ your wife: is she at home? Ford. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think, if your husbands wore dead, you two would marry. Mrs. Page. Be sure of that,—two other husbands. Ford. Where h;..l you this pretty weathercock? Mrs. Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his nanie is my husband had him of.—What do you call your knight's name, sirrah? Rob. Sir John Falstaff. Ford. Sir John Falstaff I Mrs. Page. He, he; I can never hit on's name— There is such a league between my good man and he !—Is your wife at home, indeed? Ford. Indeed, she is. Mrs. Page. By your leave, sir: I am sick, till I see her. [Exeunt Mrs. Page and Robin. Ford. Has Page any brains? hath fie any eyes? hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He pieces-out his wife's inclination ; he gives her folly motion and advantage: and now she's going to my wife, and Falstalf's boy with her:— a man may hear this shower sing in the wind :— and Falstaff's boy with her !—Good plots I—they are laid; aivt.mir revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then lurture-iny wife, pluck the I borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming Mrs. Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clockstrikes. \ The clock gives ine iny cue, and my assurance bids me search: there 1 shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather praised for this, than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go. Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Cains, and Rugby. Page, Shal., &c. Well met, master Ford. Ford. Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at home; and 1 pray you all go with me. Shal. I must excuse myself, master F'ord. Slen. And so must I, sir: we have appointed to dine with Mrs. Anne, and 1 would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of. Shal. We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer. Slen. I hope 1 have your good-will, father Page. Page. You have, master Slender ; I stanfl wholly for you:—but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether. Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me: my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush. Host. What say you to young master Fenton? lie capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, tig smells April and May: he will carry't, he will carry't; 'tis in his buttons; he ■will carry't. Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having : he kept company with the wild Prince and Poins; he is of too high a region; he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance: if he take her. let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way. Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home : with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster.—Master Doctor, you shall go;—so shall you, master Page; and you, Sir Hugh. Shal. Well, fare you well: we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's. [Exeunt Shallow and Slender. Cains. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon [Exit Rugby, Host. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [Exit Host. Ford. [Aside.] I think, I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him; I'll make him dance.—Will you go, gentles t All. Have with you, to see this monster. [Exeunt. SCENE Ul.—A Room in Ford's House. Mrs. Ford. Wliat, John I what, Robert! Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly:—Is the buck-basket— Mrs. Ford. i warrant.—What, Robin, I say 1 Mrs. Page. Come, come, come. Mrs. Ford. Here, set it down. fbrief. Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge: we must b<_ Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before. John, and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brew-house ; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and, without any pause or staggering, take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there emptyitin the muddyditch, close by the Thames Mrs. Page. You will do it? [side. Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction.—Be gone, and come when you are called. [Exeunt Servants. Airs. Page. Here comes little Robin. Enter Robin. Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket 1 what news with you! Rob. My master. Sir John, is come in at your backdoor, mistress Ford, and requests your company. Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent, have you been true to us? Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn. My master knows not of your being here; and hath threatened to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for he swears hell turn me away. Mrs. Page, Thou 'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose.—I U go hide me. Mrs. Ford. Do so.—Go tell thy master, I am alone. —Mistress Page, remember your cue. [Exit Robin. Mrs. Page. 'I warrant thee ; if 1 do not act it. hiss me. [Exit. Mrs. Ford. Go to, then: we'll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watery punipion; we'll teach him to know turtles from jays. hnter Falstaff. Fal. "Have I caught myheavenly jewel **' Why, now let ine die, for I have lived long enough; this is the period of my ambition: O this blessed hour! Mrs. Ford. Oh, sweet Sir John! Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would thy husband were dead; I'll speak it before the best lord,—I would make thee my lady. la pitiful lady. Mrs. Ford. I your lady. Sir John! alas, I should be Fal. Let the court of France show me such another. I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: thou hast the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the slup-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance. Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither. Fal. By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so : thou wouldst make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to tliy trait, in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature is thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it. Mrs. Ford. Believe ine, there's no such thing in me. Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee, there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, 1 cannot cog. and say thou art this and that, like a many of Siese lisping hawthorn buds, that come like worn ;n in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple time; I cannot; but I love thee; none but thee: and thou deservest it. [mistress Page. Mrs. Ford. Do not betray ine, sir. 1 fear you hue Fal. Thou might*st as well say, I love to walk by the Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln. [and you shall one day find it. Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; Fal. Keep bi that mind; I'll deserve it. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind. Rob. [Within.] Mistress Ford! mistress Ford! nere's mistress Page at the door, sweating.and blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs spe^k with you presently. [behind the arras. Fal. She shall not see me: I will ensconce me Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling woman.— | Falstaff hides himself. Enter Mistress Page and Robin. What's the matter? how now! Mrs. Page. O mistress Ford! what have you done? You're shamed, you are overthrown, you're undone for ever! Mrs. Ford. What's the matter, good mistress Page! Mrs. Page. O well-a-day. mistress Ford! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of Mrs. Ford. What cause of suspicion? (suspicion! Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion?—Out upun you ! how am I mistook in you 1 Mrs. Ford. Why, alas, what's the matter? Mrs. Page. Your husband s coming hither, woman, with all the officers of Windsor, to search for a gentleman, that he says, is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: you Mrs. Ford, 'Tisnotso, I hope, [are undone. Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here! but 'tis most certain your husband s coming with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. 1 come before to tell yon. If you know yourself clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you ha*e a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed; call all your senses to you: defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever. Mrs. Ford. What shall I do?—There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and 1 fear not mine own shame, so much as his peril; I had rather than a thousand pound, he were out of the house. Mrs. Page. For shr.me! never stand "you had rather, "and "you had rather:" your husband's hern at hand; bethink you of some conveyance: in thehouse you cannot hide him.—O, how have you deceived me I—Look, here is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here ; and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking: or, it is whiting-time, send him by your two men to Datchet-mead. [I do' Mrs. Ford. He's too big to go m there. What shall Re-inter Falstaff. Fal. Let me see't, let me see't, O, let me see't: I'll in. Ml in:—follow your friend's counsel;—I'll in. Mrs. Page. What, Sir John Falstaff! Are these your letters, knight? Fal. I love thee, and none but thee; help me away: let ine creep in here. I'll never— [/turn. f He gets into the basket; they cover him with Join Mrs. Page. Help to cover your master, boy.—Call your men, mistress Ford.—You dissembling knight! Mrs. Ford. What, John I Robert 1 John I [Re-enter Servants.) Go take up these clothes "here quickly:— Where's the cowl-staff? look, how you drumble! carry them to the laundress in Datchet-mead; quickly, come. Enter Ford, Page. Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. Ford. Fray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me; then let ine be your jest; I deserve it.—How now I what goes here t whither bear you this? Serv. To the laundress, forsooth. Mrs. Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buckwashing. Ford. Buck! I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant ytu, buck; and of the season, too, it shall appear. [Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night; I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers; search, seek, find out: 111 warrant well unkennel the fox.—Let ine stop this way first.—So, now uncape. Page. GoodmasterFord.be contented: you wrong yourself too much. Ford. True, master Page.—Up, gentlemen; yon shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit. Eva. This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies, [not jealous in France. Caius. By gar,'tis no de fashion of France; it is Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen ; see the issue ol his search. [Exeunt Page, Evans, and Caius. Mrs. Page. Is there not a double excellency in this i Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceived, or Sir John. Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when your husband asked what was in the basket 1 Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so, throwing him into the water will do him a benefit. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal I I would all of the same strain were in the same distress. Mrs. Ford. 1 think, iny husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaffs being here; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now. Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that; and we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine. Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion mis tress Quickly, to him. and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment T Mrs. Page. We will do ft: let him be sent for tomorrow eight o'clock, to have amends. Re-enter Ford. Pace. Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. Ford. I cannot find him: may be, the knave bragged of that he could not compass. Mrs. Page. [Aside to Mrs. Ford.] Heard you that'; Mrs. Ford. You use me well, master Ford, do you ° Ford. Ay, I do so. Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your Ford. Amen I [thoughts: Mrs. Pa»e. You do yourself mighty wrong, master Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it. [Ford. Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the cotters, and in the presses, heaven forgive iny sins at the day of judgment! Cains. By gar, nor I too: dere is no bodies. Page. Fie, fie, master Ford ! are you not ashamed* What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? 1 would not have your distemper in this kind for the weakh of Windsor Castle. Ford. 'Tis iny fault, master Page: I suffer for it. Eva. You sutler for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a '01 nans as 1 will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too. Caius. By gar, 1 see 'tis an honest woman. Ford. Well; 1 promised you a dinner.—Come, come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon ine; 1 will hereafter make known to you. why 1 have done this.— Come, wife ;—conic, mistress Page. I pray you, pardon me; pr.iy heartily, pardon ine. Page. Let's go in. gentlemen; but, trust me, well mock him. 1 do invite you to-inorrow morning to my !touse to breakfast: after, well a birding together; 1 have a fine hawk for the bush. .Shall it be so? Ford. Anything. Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the company. Caius. If derc be one or two. 1 shall make-a de turd. Ford. Pray you go, master Page. Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the lousy knave, mine host. Caius. Dat is good ; by gar, vit all my heart. Eva. A lousy knave, to have his gibes, and his mockeries I [Exeunt SCENE IV.—A room in Page's House Enter Fenton and Anne Page. Fent. I see I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore no more tumjne to him, sweet Nan. Anne. Alasl how then? Fent. Why, thou must be thyself. He doth object, I am too great of birth; Anne. May l>e, he tells you tnie. Fent. No. heaven so speed me in my time to come" I Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne: Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags; And 'tis the very riches of thyself That now I aim at. Anne. Gentle master Fenton, Yet seek my father's love; still seek it, sir: J They converse apart. Shai. Break their talk, mistress Quickly: my kins* man shall speak for himself. [venturing. Sien. I'll make a shaft or a holt on't. 'Slid, 'tis but Shai. Be not dismayed. Sien. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that,—but that I am afcard. [word with you. Quick. Hark yc: master Slender would speak a Anne. I comctohim.—[Aside.] This is my lather's O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults [choice. Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year 1 Quick. And how does good master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you. Shai. She's coining; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father 1 Sien. I had a father, mistress Anne;—my uncle can tell you good jests of him.—Pray you, uncle, tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle. Shai. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. Sien. Ay, that I do; as well as I lave any woman la Gloucestershire. Shai. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Sien. Ay, that 1 will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a squire. [jointure. Shai. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for himself. Shai. Marry, I thank you for it: I thank you for that good comfort.—She calls you, coz: I'll leave you. Anne. Now. master Slender,— Sien. Now. good mistress Anne,— Anne. What is your will? Sleti. My will! oil's Karttings, that's a pretty jest, indeed I I ne'er mndc my will yet, I thank heaven j 1 am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise. Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me J Sien. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or no |