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Merry Wives Of Windsor.

DRAMATIS PERSONS.

Sir John Falstaff.
Fenton.

Shallow, a Country Justice.
Slender, cousin to Shallow.
Page' \two Gentlemen dwelling at Windsor.
William Page, a Boy, son to Page.
Sir Hugh Evans, a IVelsh Parson.
Dr. Cams, ct French Physician.
Host of the Garter Inn.

SCENE,—Windsor; and the neighbourhood.

Bardolph, Pistol. Nym, followers <yTalstaff,

Robin, page to Falstaff.
Simple, servant to Slender.
Rugby, servant to Dr. Caius.

Mistress Ford.
Mistress Page.

Anne Page, her daughter, in love -with Fenton.
Mistress Quickly, servant to Dr. Caius.'
Servants to Page, Ford, &c.

ACT I.

SCENE I.—Windsor. Before Page's House. Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, and Sir Hugh Evans

Shat. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Starchamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, Esquire.

Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace and coram.

Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alornm.

Slen. Ay, and ratolorum too; and a gentleman bom, master parson; who writes himself armigero,—in any bill, warrant, quittance or obligation, armigero.

Shal. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years.

Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have done't; and all his ancestors that come after him, may they may give the dozen white luces in their coat.

Shal. It is an old coat.

Eva. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant: it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies—love.

Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old

Slen. I may quarter, coz? [coat.

Shal. You may, by marrying.

Eva. It is marring, indeed, if he quarter it.

Shat. Not a whit.

Eva. Yes, py'rlady ; ifhehasaquarterof yourcoat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one. I f Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you.

Shal. The council shall hear it: it is a riot.

Eva. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, nnd not to hear a riot; take your vizanients in that. [sword should end it.

Shal. Ha I o" my life, if I were young again, the

Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end It: and there is also another device in my prain, whicht peradventure, prings good discretions with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity.

Slen. Mistress Anne Pagel She has brown hair, and speaks small, like a woman.

Eva. It is that fery person for ail the'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death'sbed, |Got deliver to a joyful resurrections I) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a

Soot motion, if we leave our pribbk-s dnd prabbles, and esire a marriage between master Abraham and Mrs. Anne Page. [pound? Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good giftsi cg°°d gifts.

Eva. Seven hundred pounds and possibilities, is Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page. Is Falstaff there?

Eva. Shall I tell you a lief I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that

is not true. The knight. Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled byyourwell-willers. I will peat the door for master Page. {Knocks.] What, ho 1 Got pless your house here!

Page. [tVithin.j Who's there?

Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow; and here young master Slender, that peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.

Enter Page.

Page. I am glad to see your worships well. I thank

you for my venison, master Shallow.

Shat. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it your good heart I I wished your venison better: it was ill kill'd.—How doth good mistress Page!—and I thank you always with my heart, la; with my heart*

Page. Sir, I thank you.

Shal. Sir, 1 thank you ; by yea and no, I do.

Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender.

Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir t I heard say. he was outrun on Cotsall.

Page. It could not be judged, sir.

Slen. YouH not confess, you 11 not confess.

Shal. That he will not:—'tis your fault, 'tis your

Page. A cur, sir. (fault:—'tis a good dog.

Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said T ne is good, and fair.—Is Sir John Falstaff here?

Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.

Eva. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

Shal. He hath wronged me, master Page.

Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed : is not that so. master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed, he hath;—at a word, he hath ;—believe me:—Robert Shallow, Esquire, saith, he is wronged.

Page. Here comes Sir John. Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol.

Eal. Now, master Shatlow,—youti complain of me to the king? [deer, and broken open my lodge.

Shal. tfnight, you have beaten my men, killed my

Fat. But not kissed your keeper's daughter?

Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.

Fai. I will answer it straight:—I have done all this.

-That is now answered.

Shal. The council shall know this.

Pal. 'Twere better for you, if it were known In counsel: you'll be laughed at.

Eva. Pauca verba. Sir John ; goot worts.

Fal. Good worts I good cabbage.—Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me?

Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bariolph, Nym, and Pistol: they carried me to the tavern, tnrt made ine drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.

Bard. You Banbury cheese 1

Slen. Ay, it is no matter.

Pist. How now, Mephost >philus I

Slen. Ay, it is no matter. [humour.

Nym. Slice, I say I pauca, pauca; slice 1 that's my

Slen. Where's Simple, my man ?—can you tell, cousin!

Eva. Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand:

there Is three umpires In this matter, as I understand; that is—master ¥a%s,Jidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, Jidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them.

Eva. Ferygoot: I will make a prief of it in my notebook; and we will afterwards *ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can.

Fal. Pistol,—

Pist. He hears with ears.

Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, "He hears ivith ear I" Why, it is affectations.

Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slendcr's purse?

Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he,—or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,—of seven groats in mill-s xpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

Fal. Is this true, Pistol?

Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

Pist. Ha, thou mountain foreigner 1—Sir John and master mine, I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.— Word of denial in thy labras here; Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest.

Slen. By these gloves, then, 'twas he.

Nym. Be avised, sir, and pass good humours. I will say, "marry trap.' with you, if you run the •nuthook's humour on ine; that is the very note of it.

Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face hail it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.

Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John?

Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences,— [is!

Eva. It is his " five senses;" fie, what the ignorance

Hard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires.

Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: 111 ne'er be drunk whilst 1 live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this tnck; if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. ■ Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind.

Fal. Yoit hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.

Enter Anne Page, "with I fine; Mistress Ford
and Mistress Page.

Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine tn; well drink within. {Exit Anne Page.

Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page,

Page. How now, mistress Ford!

Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress. [JCissing her.

Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome.—Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.

\hxeunl all but Shallow, Slender, and Evans.

Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my Book of Songs and Sonnets here.

Enter Simple. How now, Siniplel Where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you J

Sim. Book of Riddles? why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afo J Michaelmas?

Shal. Coine, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here: do you understand me?

Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable: if it be SO, I shall do that that is reason.

Shal. Nay, but understand mc.

Slen. So I do, sir.

Eva. Give eartohismotions.master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you pardon me ; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.

Eva. But that is not the question: the question is Concerning your marriage.

Shal. Ay. there's the point, sir. [Anne Page.

Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress

Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.

Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips;

for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?

Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

Slen. I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.

Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his. ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. [marry her?

Shal. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry,

Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.

Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do, is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?

Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, "Marry her," I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the fauT is in the 'ort "dissolutely:" the 'ort is, according to our meaning, "resolutely."—His meaning is goot.

Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la.

Shal. Mere comes fair mistress Anne.—[Re-enter Anne Page-1 Would I were young for your sake, mistress Anne.

Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.

Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne.

Eva. Od's piessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. [Exeunt Shallow and Sir H. Evans.

Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir?

Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very

Anne. The dinner attends you* sir. [well.

Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you forsooth.—Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon iny cousin Shallow. [Exit Simple.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man.—I keep but three men and a boy yet. till my mother be dead; but what though? yet 1 live like a poor gentleman born.

Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit, till you come.

Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much

Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. [as though I did.

Slen. I had rather walk here, 1 thank you. 1 bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence,—three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes;—and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since.—Why do your dogs bark so? be there hears i' the town?

Anne. I think there are, sir. I heard them talked of.

Slen. 1 love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England.—You are afraid, it you see the bear loose, are you not?

Anne. Ay, indeed, sir.

Slen. That's meat and drink to me, now: I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it. that it passed: but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things.

Re-enter Page. Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we stay Slen. 111 eat nothing, I thank you, sir. [for you. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir: Slen. Nay, pray you, leau the way. [come, come. Page. Come on, sir. .

Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Anne. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la; I will not do you that wrong. Anne. 1 pray you, sir.

Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly, than troublesome. You do yourself wrong, indeed, la. {Exeunt.

SCENE II.—The Same. Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple, Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Dr. Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and Sim. Well, sir. ^his wringer

Eva, Nay, it is petter yet.—Give her this letter; fox It is a oman that altogethers acquaintance with mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to mistress Anne Page. I pray you, begone. I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come.

[ Exeunt.

SCENE HI.—A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and Robin.

Fat. Mine host of the Garter,— [and wisely.

Host. What says my bully-rook! Speak scholarly Fat. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of iny followers.

Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them

Fat. I sit at ten pounds a week. (wag; trot, trot.

Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector?

Fat. Do so, good mine host.

Host. I have spoke; let him follow.—Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit.

Fat. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin ; a withered serving-man, a fresh tapster. Go; adieu.

Bard. It is a life that I havo desired: I will thrive.

Pist. O base Gongarian wight 1 wilt thou the spigot wield? [Exit^AxA.

Nym. He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it.

Fa/. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box : his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer,—he kept not time.

Nym. The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest.

Pist. "Convey." the wise it call. "Steal 1" foh! a fico for the phrase 1

FaL Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.

Pist. Why, then, let kibes ensue. [must shift.

Fat. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I

Pist* Young ravens must have food.

Fat. Which of you know Ford of this town?

Pist. I ken the wight: he is of substance good.

Fat. My honest lads, I wilt tell you what I am about.

Pist. Two yards, and more.

Fat. No quips now. Pistol: indeed, I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation : I can construe the action of her familiar style ; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is, "/ am Sir John FaistaJTs."

Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her weil,—out of honesty into English.

Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass?

Fat. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; he nath a legion of angels.

Put. As many devils entertain; and " To her, boy," say I. {the angels.

Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me

Fat. I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious eyeliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.

Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine.

Nym. I thank thee for that humour.

Fat. O, she did socourseo'erniy exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did se^m to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, alt gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me: they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.

Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, ■ Ajul by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all t

Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the humour-letter. I will keep the 'haviour of reputation.

Fat. [To Robin. 1 Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly: Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.—

[Exit Robin.

Rogues, hence! avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go; Trudge, plod away o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack!

Falstaff will learn the humour of this age,

French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.

[Exit.

Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts 1 for gourd and fullam holds. And high and low .beguile the rich and poor. Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shall lack, Base Phrygian Turk!

Nym. I have operations in my head, which be hu

Ptst. Wilt thou revenge? [mours of revenge.

Nym. By welkin, ana her stars 1

Pist. With wit, or steel?

Nym. With both the humours, I:
I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.

Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold,
How Falstaff, varlet vile.
His dove will prove, his gold will hold.
And his soft couch defile.

Nym. My humour shall no: cool; I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humour.

Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt. SCENE IV.—A Room in Dr. Caius's House. Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple.

Quick. What, John Rugby 1 [Enter Rugby.) I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and find anybody in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's

Rug. I'll go watch. [English.

Quick. Go; and we 11 have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [Exit Rugby.) An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, 1 warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass.—Peter Simple, you say your name Is?

Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.

Quick. And master Slender's your master?

Sim. Ay, forsooth.

Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife?

Sim. No, forsooth; he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard—a cane-coloured beard.

Quick. A softty-sprighted man, is he not f

Sim. Ay, forsooth; out he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head: he hath fought with a warrener.

Quick. How say you ?—O, I should remember him: does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in

Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. [his gait?

Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune I Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne isagoodgirl, and I wish— Re-enter Rugby.

Rug. Out, a"las, here comes my master.

Quick. We shall all be shent.—Run in here, good young man; go into this closet: he will not stay long.— [Shuts Simple in the cioset.] What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home. [Exit Rugby.J [Sings,] "Anddown,down, adowu-a* Sec.

Enter Doctor Caius.

Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go ana vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.

Quick. Ay, forsooth; 111 fetch it you. [Aside.] I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man. he would have been horn-mad.

Caius. Fe, fe./e, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chattd. Je m'en vais a la four,ia grande affaire.

Quick. Is it this, sir?

Caius. Out'; mette le an men pocket; defeche, quickly.—Vere is dat knave Rugby? Quick. What, John Rugby! John!

Re-enter Rugby.

Rug. Here, sir.

Catus. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.

Rug, "Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long.—Od'a me J

•u'ai'jtoubliei dere Is some simples in my closet, dat I your worship more of the wart, the next time we have

Xviil not for tie varld I shall leave behind.

Quick. [Aside.] Ah me 1 hell find the young-man there, and be mad.

Caius. O diable I diafile / vat is in my closet tVillainy! larron ! [Pulling Simple out,} Rugby, my

Quick. Good master, be content. [rapier'

Caius. Verefore shall I be.content-a?

Quick. The young man is an honest man.

Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet.

Quick. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from

Caius. Veil. I parson Hugh.

Sim, Ay, forsooth; to desire her to—

Quick. Peace, I pray you.

Caius. Peace-a your tongue !—Speak-a your tale.

Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage.

Quick. This is ail, indeed, la; but IH ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not.

Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, bailie* me some paper.—Tarry you a httle-a while. [ IVrites.

Quuk. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy.—But, notwithstanding, man, I'll doyourmasterwhatgood I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,—I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and 1 wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself;— [hand.

Sim. 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's

Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early and down late ;— but notwithstanding,—to tell you in your ear,—I would have no words of it,—my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, 1 know Anne's mind; that's neither here nor there.

Caius. You jack'nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de park ana I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make.—You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:—by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not nave astone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple. 'Quick. Alas! he speaks but for his friend.

Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:—do not you tell-a me, dat I shall have Anne Page for myself?—By gar, I vill kill de lack priest; ana I have appointed mine host of de Jarretiere to measure our weapon.—By gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.

Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, thegood-jer.

Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me.—By gar. if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your heaa out of my door.—Follow my heels, Rugby.

[Exeunt Caius and Rugby.

Quick. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. \f* ithin.) Who's within there? ho I

Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house,
I pray you.

Enter Fenton.
Fent. How now, good woman 1 how dost thou?
Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship
to ask.

Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?

Quick. In truth, sir. and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle ; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.

Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose niy suit?

Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you,—Have not your worship a wart above

Fent. Yes, marry have I; what of that? [your eye!

Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale.—Good faith, it Is such another Nan;—but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread:—we had an hour's talk of that wart.—I shall never laugh but in that maid's company; —but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing. But for you—well, go to.

Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: If thou seest her before me, confmend me—

Quick. Will Hi' faith, that we will: and I will tell

confidence; and of other wooers.
Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.
Quick. Farewell to your worsliip.—[Exit Fenton.]
Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not;
for I know Anne's mind as well as another does.—Out
upon't 1 what have I forgot? [Exit.

ACT II.

SCENE I.—Before Page's House. Enter Mistress Page, with a Letter. Mrs. Page. What! have I 'scaped love-letters in the holyday time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them. Let me see. [Reads.

"Ask me no reason why I love you ; /or though love use reason for his precisian, he admits him not \for his counsellor. You are not young, no more am I;go to then, there's sympathy: you arc merry, so am I; ha, ka! then, there's more sympathy: you love sack, and so do I; -wouldyou desire better sympathy 7 Let it suffice thee, mistress Page.at the least, if the love of a soldier can suffice,that I love thee. I will not say. Pity me,'tis not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, Lozv tne. By me. Thine own true knight. By day or $ tight. Or any kind of light. With all his might

For thee to fight. John Falstafc"

What a Herod of Jewry is this I—O wicked, wicked world !—one that is well-nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant 1 What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked—with the devil's name-—out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company I—What should I say to him ?—I was then frugal of my mirth :—heaven forgive me I—Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the utting down of men. How shall I be revenged on im ? tor revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.

Enter Mistress Ford. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page 1 trust me, I was going to your house. (look very ill.

Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You Mrs. ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that: 1 have to show to the contrary. Mrs. Page. Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then; yet, 1 say, I could show you to the contrary. U, mistress Page I give me some counsel. Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. 0 woman 1 if it were not for o respect, I could come to such honour I

Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman! take the honour. What is it ?—dispense with trifles;—what is it?

Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so, I could be knighted.

Mrs. Page. What?—thou liest.—Sir Alice Ford I— These knights will hack: and so, thou should st not alter the article of thy gentry.

Mrs. Ford. We burn daylight;—here, read, read;— perceive how I might be knighted.—I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as 1 have an eye to make difference of men's liking: and yet he would not swear, praised women's modesty, and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomcliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere and keep place together, than the hundredth psalm to the tune of "Green Sleeves." What tempest, 1 trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease.—Did you ever hear the like?

Mrs. Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs 1—To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for, 1 protest, mine never shall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names,— sure, more,—and these arc of the second edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I

had rather be a giantess, and He under Mount Pelion. "Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere one

chaste man.

Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same; the very tend, the very words. What doth he think of us?

Mrs. Page. Nay, I know uot: it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. Ill entertain myself like one that I aiu not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.

Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? Ill be sure to keep him above deck.

Mrs. Page. So will 1: if he come under my hatches, 111 never to sea again. Let's be revenged on him: let's appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with a fine-baited deUy, till he hath pawned his horses to mine host of the Garter.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against him. that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. 0, that my husbandsaw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy.

Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too: he s as far from jealousy, as I am from

g'ving him cause; and that, 1 hope, is an unmeasurae distance.

Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman.

Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this greasy knight. Come hklier. I7n<ry retire.

Eutrr Ford, Pistol, Page, and Nym.

Ford. Well, I hope it be not so.

Pist. Hope is a curtail dog in some affairs: Sirlohn affects thy wife.

Ford. Why, sir, iny wife is not young.

Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich and Both young and old, one with another. Ford: {poor, He loves the gally-mawfry; Ford, perpend.

Ford. Love my wife?

Pist. With liver burning hot: prevent, or go thou, Like Sir Actreon he, with Ringwood at thy heels.— O, odious is the name!

Ford. What name, sirf

Pist. The horn, 1 say. Farewell: [night:

Take heed; have open eye ; for thieves do foot by Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds do Away, sir corporal Nym I— [sing.— Believe it. Page; he sneaks sense. [Exit.

Ford, {Aside.} I will l>e patient: I will mid out this.

Nym. \T<> I'age.] And this is true; I like not the humour of lying. He hath wronged ine in some humours: I should have borne the humoured letter to her, but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife; there's the short am I the long. My name is corporal Nym; I speak, and 1 avouch'tis true: my name is Nym, ana Falstaff loves your wife.—Adieu. I love not the humour of bread and cheese; and there's the humour of it. Adieu. [Exit.

Page.[Aside.] "T7te humour of it," quoth 'al here's a fellow frights humour out of his wits.

Ford. I will seek out Falstaff.

Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue. Ford. If I do find it:—welL

Page. I will uot believe such a Cataian, though the priest o' the town commended him for a true man. Ford. Twas a gootl sensible fellow:—welL Page. How now, Meg!

Mrs. Page. Whither go you, George ?— Hark you.

Mrs. Ford. How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy? (you home, go.

Ford. I melancholy 1 I am not melancholy.—Get

Mrs. Ford. "Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now.—Will you go, mistress Page?

Mrs. Page. Have with you.—You'll come to dinner, George J—[Aside to Mrs. Ford.] Look, who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger to this paltry ■night.

Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her: she '11 fit it.

Hitter Mrs. Quickly. Mrs. Page. You are come to see my daughter Anne? Quick. Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good mistress Anne7 [talk with you.

Mrs. Page. Go in with us, and see : we have an hour's [Exeunt Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Mrs. Quickly. Page. How now, master Ford! fnot?

Ford. You heard what this knave told ine. did you Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told me? Ford. Do you think there is truth in them?

Page. Hang 'era, slaves I I do not think the knight

would offer it: but these that accuse him in his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his discarded men; very rogues, now they be out of service. Ford. Were they his men?

Page. Marry, were they. {lie at the Garter!

Ford. I like it never the better for that.—Does he

Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage towards iny wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head.

Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would bo loth to turn them together. A man may be too confident: I would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied.

Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Garter comes. There is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily.—{Enter Host.] How now, mine host! [Cavalero-justicc- I say I

Host, How now, bully rook I thou'rt a gentleman.— Enter Shallow.

ShaL I follow, mine host, I follow.—Good even, and twenty, good master Page? Master Page, will you go with us? we liavc sport in hand.

Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tdlhhn.bnlly-rook.

ShaL Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh, the Welsh priest, and Caius the French doctor.

Ford. Good mine host o' the Garter, a word with

Host. What sayest thou, my bully-rook? [you.

(They go aside.

SJial. [T» Page.] Will you go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and, I think,hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe me. I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be,

[ They go aside.

Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my

guest-cavalier?

Ford. None. I protest: but 111 give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is Brook; only for a jest.

Host. My hand, bully: tliou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook. It is a merry knight.-—Will you go on, hearts?

ShaL Have with you. mine host. [in his rapier.

Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good skill

ShaL Tut, sir! I could have told you more. In these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my tang sword. I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.

Host. Here, boys, here, herel shall we wag?

Page. Have with you.—I liad rather hear them scold than fight. (Exeunt Host. Shallow, and Page.

Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off ray opinion so easily: she was in his company at Pages house: and what they made there, I know not. Well. 1 will look farther into t; and I have a disguise to sound FalstafT. If I find her honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed.

[Exit.

SCENE II.—,4 room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Falstaff and Pistol. *

Fat. I will not lend thee a penny.

Pist. Why, then the world's mine oyster,
Which I with sword will open.—
I will retort the sum in equipage.

Fat. Not a penny. I have been content, sir. you should lay iny countenance to pawn; I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you had looked through the grate, like a gemini of baboons. I am, damned in hell for swearing to gentlemen, my friends, you were good soldiers, and tall fellows: and when mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took't upon mine honour thou hadst it not. [pence?

Pist. Didst thou not share? hadst thou not tifteen

FaL Reason, you rogue, reason: thinkest thou, I'll endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me; I am no gibbet for you:—go.—A short knife and a throng:—to your manor of Pickthatch, go. —You'll not bear a letter for me. you rogue!—you stand upon your honour!—Why, thou unconfutable baseness, it is as much as I can do. to keep the terms of mine honour precise. I, 1, I myself sometimes.

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