ceremony. Then a louting, lounging fellowNelly's sweetheart as he afterwards proved to be, and a most desperate poacher-got a place in the centre. An old soldier, with a license to beg, was next welcomed, with a cheer. In fact, not only, as Macbeth exclaimed, was "the table full," but the room also.

Before the mirth had yet settled into its full summer shower, Peter Drivel and the village pedagogue got into some very learned conversation. This schoolmaster, who was named Rickets, had not much learning, but more than sufficient for the sphere in which he found himself placed. He was always ready to pour this excess upon any one who would be kind enough to receive it-the very line of conduct that Peter was pleased to follow with his puns. "For," as he would feelingly observe, what use is it popping off your bullets of the brain without a target ?"

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of

Already had he discharged several of them, point blank, into the schoolmaster. He swal

lowed them-for he was drinking Peter's grog; but they went down like bolusses, a little too large, and a great deal too bitter. At length, one fairly stuck by the way: he made a horribly wry face at it, and, when Peter asked him as usual, “Do you take?" he begged submissively to be excused.

"It may be good, master, but there's nothing certain in it. Get into duodecimals, I say; there you'll discover wonders, master Peter— what's your other name?"

"Drivel."

"I have no objection. No offence, I hope, Master Drivel. I have seen the world; and I don't think that there's any man in the county that can say that he has worn out more rods. Duodecimals for me."

"So you don't like wit?"

"Yes, when I can get it. No offence; but really, master Peter, as I have seen the world and worn out rods, I may be allowed to know something about wit and duodecimals. Now,

master Peter, I think you want several essentials to make you a wit."

"You alarm me, my friend, learned in the duodecimals, you quite frighten me. What can they possibly be?"

"In the first place, you have too much presumption."

"O friend Duo! but you know that wit was never modest."

"Nor impudence-with no offence. I have seen the world, and flogged little boys. But, good sir-mark, I say not that yours is the presumption of wit-it is only the presumption of a false calculation, which would never happen if you worked by duodecimals; for know, that no man can afford to be witty under a thousand a-year, sir. I have flogged boys, and 'cute ones, too, and know it. I think a man of five hundred a year may pretend to be humorous, but then he must spend too much of his income in giving dinners. From five hundred downwards, a man may be accounted droll, provided

that he holds no dependent situation, and shows off before the proper persons. Every other attempt at wit may be legally called buffoonery by any one richer than the wit himself. I made the calculation myself.”

Peter looked hard at the little shabby pedagogue. "Why, you're a rum old chap; you make me all of a tremble. And pray who is the wittiest person hereabouts?"

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Why, why, Mr. Rubasore—no question of it. And if he marries his ward, as some folks say he will, he'll be so all his life. Why, man, all this place about here belongs to the Jaspar Hall estate."

66 So, when he called me, a little while ago, the 'booby with the book,' and which I mistook for a childish expression, that was wit?"

"Can you doubt it? If it had been said in a large company, it would have set the table in a roar. I have a great mind to laugh at it myself, only my palate is rather dry."

"Well, wet it, old A B C. You have some notions-you, with your duodecimals."

"I have seen the world. I have flogged boys-"

"Never mind all that-you have flogged me. You have plucked the best feather out of my cap. I used to think that wit procured riches, and I now find that it is riches that must procure wit."

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Exactly. A poor man with wit, sir, is like one walking with his head in his own lantern, dazzling nobody but himself, and is sure to stumble into the bargain. I know it; therefore I say it-I, who have flogged-"

"Belay that! I like your lantern well, old chap; a man with his head in it must always stand in his own light. I'll leave off wit, and save money."

Here this learned discussion was suddenly interrupted by the joyous uproariousness of the party, which had, by this time, greatly increased. More tables and more seats were