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PARENTHETICAL ADDRESS (1)
BY DR. PLAGIARY,
Half stolen, with acknowledgments, to be spoken in an inarticulate voice by Master P. at the opening of the next new theatre.
Stolen paris marked with the inverted commas of quotation - thus" -".
“ When energising objects men pursue," Then Lord knows what is writ by Lord knows who. “A modest monologue you here survey," Hiss'd from the theatre the “ other day,” As if Sir Fretful wrote “ the slumberous" verse, And gave
his son “ the rubbish” to rehearse. “ Yet at the thing you'd never be amazed,” Knew
which the author raised; « Nor even here your smiles would be represt," Knew
these lines the badness of the best. “ Flame I firel and flame!!” (words borrow'd from
Lucretius,) “Dread metaphors which open wounds” like issues! “ And sleeping pangs awake--and but away" (Confound me if I know what next to say). “Lo Hope reviving re-expands her wings,' And Master G-recites what Doctor Busby sings! “ If mighty things with small we may compare," (Translated from the grammar for the fair !) Dramatic “ spirit drives a conquering car," And burn'd poor Moscow like a tub of “ tar.”
(1) [Among the addresses sent in to the Drury Lane Committee, (see antè, Vol. IX., p. 29.) was one by Dr. Busby, entitled “ A Monologue,” of which the above is a parody.]
“ This spirit Wellington has shown in Spain," To furnish melodrames for Drury Lane. “ Another Marlborough points to Blenheim's story," And George and I will dramatise it for
“ In arts and sciences our isle hath shone" (This deep discovery is mine alone). « Oh British poesy, whose powers inspire” My verse -or I'm a fool — and Fame's a liar, “ Thee we invoke, your sister arts implore" With “ smiles,” and “ lyres,” and “pencils,” and
much more. These, if we win the Graces, too, we gain Disgraces, too ! " inseparable train!" “ Three who have stolen their witching airs from
Cupid" (You all know what I mean, unless
're stupid): “ Harmonious throng" that I have kept in petto, Now to produce in a “ divine sestetto"!! “ While Poesy," with these delightful doxies, “ Sustains her part” in all the “ upper” boxes ! “ Thus lifted gloriously, you 'll soar along,” Borne in the vast balloon of Busby's song; “ Shine in your farce, masque, scenery, and play" (For this last line George had a holiday). “ Old Drury never, never soar'd so high,”
I. “ But hold, you say, this self-complacent boast;" Is this the poem which the public lost ? “ True - true — that lowers at once our mounting
pride;" But lo!--the papers print what you
and so says
“ Tis ours to look on you — you hold the prize,” 'Tis twenty guineas, as they advertize! “ A double blessing your rewards impart" I wish I had them, then, with all my heart. “ Our twofold feeling owns its twofold cause," Why son and I both beg for your applause. “When in your fostering beams you bid us live," My next subscription list shall say how much you
VERSES FOUND IN A SUMMER HOUSE AT
When Dryden's fool, “unknowing what he sought," His hours in whistling spent, “ for want of
thought," (2) This guiltless oaf his vacancy
of sense Supplied, and amply too by innocence; Did modern swains, possess'd of Cymon's powers, In Cymon's manner waste their leisure hours, Th' offended guests would not, with blushing, see These fair green walks disgraced by infamy. Severe the fate of modern fools, alas ! When vice and folly mark them as they pass. Like noxious reptiles o'er the whiten’d wall, The filth they leave still points out where they crawl.
(1) [In Warwickshire.]
MARTIAL, LIB. I. Epig. I.
Hic est, quem legis, ille, quem requiris,
He unto whom thou art so partial,
Post-obits rarely reach a poet.
To the tune of “ Why, how now, saucy jade ?'
Why, how now, saucy Tom?
thus must ramble,
Remarks on Mister Campbell.
Why, how now, Parson Bowles ?
Sure the priest is maudlin ! (To the public) How can you, d-n your souls,
Listen to his twaddling?
EPIGRAMS. Oh, Castlereagh! thou art a patriot now; Cato died for his country, so didst thou : He perish'd rather than see Rome enslaved, Thou cutt'st thy throat that Britain may be saved!
So Castlereagh has cut his throat !- The worst Of this is, - that his own was not the first.
So He has cut his throat at last! – He! Who? The man who cut his country's long ago.
A nobler grave than this:
THE CONQUEST. [This fragment was found amongst Lord Byron's papers, after his de. parture from Genoa for Greece.]
March 8-9. 1823.
Him who bade England bow to Normandy, And left the name of conqueror more than king
To his unconquerable dynasty.
He 'ear'd his bold and brilliant throne on high: