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course, that part of the company who had been able to resist the influence of Morpheus aided by the somniferous effect of downy cushions, lights admirably secluded from irritating the organ of vision; and the exactest temperature of the apart ment, descended into the laboratory, where a series of experiments were exhibited to prove the practicability of superseding the use of lamp oil by means of a portion of Thames water, which, after being subjected to a curious process, was to be enclosed in a small, metallick tube, and thus become not only capable of ignition, but of giving light at the distance of several furlongs. The principal objection hitherto urged against the adoption of this mode of lighting the streets of the metropolis (for the proofs of its practicability were deemed so clear as to admit of no doubt) was, that an unpleasant smell was diffused by the process, which induced some persons of more than usual delicacy, to prefer the ordinary method.

"To remedy this inconvenience, the inventor suggested the advantage of a subscription, by which he should be enabled to substitute an odorous spirit, known amongst the Romans by the denomination of liquor vesica, and thus establish the reputation of this invaluable discovery, beyond the possibility of future objections: and a single still erected in each of the principal streets, as the conduits formerly were, he thought sufficient for the above purpose.

"The company in general appeared high-ly delighted with this suggestion, and even sir Philip English, though he did not exactly comprehend the arguments by which it was supported, was inclined to give the lecturer credit for the fertility of his invention, until an old gentleman, who sate by, drily remarked, that the idea was by no means original. These Italians,' said he, are the greatest thieves and plagiaries in Europe. The thought,' addressing himself to sir Philip English, 'is entirely borrowed from the suggestion of colonel George Hanger, who, in his life, published several years ago, proposed a method of converting a fluid, of which thousands of gallons are thrown away daily in the metropolis alone, to a purpose equally important as that mentioned by signor Papillio. But the ministry at that time were not so liberal in their grants to projectors, and therefore did not encourage it: whilst it is ten to one but this foreigner gets a large subscription in support of his scheme, from weak lords and ignorant citizens, who, without the least smat

tering of science, are ambitious of being thought the patrons of it.'

"The lecturer having concluded, the majority of the company withdrew; but sir Philip and Mr. Worth, with a select party, in number about twenty, remained to partake of supper, which was soon afterwards served up, in a very elegant style.

"The entertainments of the evening had presented a series of wonders to the mind of the baronet, who sometimes attributed his own surprise to an almost entire seclusion from the company of men of erudition, and sometimes ventured to condemn the taste of modern times as frivolous and absurd: but the method of terminating the evening by a comfortable repast was per fectly intelligible to him; and it was so truly British, that he sate down to table with great good humour. Here, however, a species of disappointment arose, which not a little annoyed him; for although accustom ed to the luxuries of an elegant table, there was not a single dish before him, of which he could guess the description.

"Mr. Worth, who was seated at the opposite side of the table, was in a similar predicament: but, having the advantage of signor Papillio on his right hand, soon obtained a sufficient account of the cookery and the entertainment, to deter him from venturing to taste any thing but the most simple fare.

"In the mean time, sir Philip English, being destitute of any clue to the culinary secrets of the institution, looked around him in hopes of discovering some indication by which he might be led to a proper selection of some of the dainties before him.

"The learned have defined man to be an imitative animal: asserting, that other creatures are directed by instinct to the choice or rejection of the food presented to them, and are wholly uninfluenced by the example of the animal creation, but that the human race have no such guide, but follow one another in habits the most unreasonable and injurious, merely from the force of example.

"It was, perhaps, in obedience to this peculiarity of the human economy, that sir Philip English, observing most of the com. pany cast their eyes upon a large dish near the centre of the table, and appeared eager to partake of its contents, sent his plate for a slice. The baronet was still at a loss to know whether it was to be eaten alone, or what sauce it required, and he had so much of the mauvaise honte about him, that he was afraid of exposing his ignorance before so large a company by

any inquiry. In form and consistence it bore a pretty near resemblance to a piece of soap, and when at length he ventured to put a bit into his mouth, he found that it was nearly as disagreeable in flavour; possessing an intermixture of saline brackishness, with a pungent bitter blended with a sort of musty rancidity.

"Sir Philip could not, without difficulty, withhold his execration of such cookery; and the sentiments of the rest of the com. pany seemed to be in unison with his feelings; for many of them began to express their dissatisfaction.

"Pray, count,' said the old gentleman (who had before animadverted upon the hydrogeneous experiment) now addressing himself to the chairman, is this cursed stuff your famous Walcheren bread? Of all the villanous combinations of taste and smell I ever met with, this positively is the most disgusting. Here, waiter, take away the plate, and bring me a glass of brandy, this instant.'

"My dear doctor,' replied the count, I am not surprised at your remark; but I assure you, that when it is a little more familiar to the palate, the flavour you now complain of, will be found quite agreeable. However, I ought to have informed you, that it is rendered much pleasanter by the addition of a little fish oil, and as the use of it is designed chiefly for sailors in long voyages, and that article is very cheap, if my plan of feeding the navy should be adopted, it will reduce the ordinary expenses of that department surprisingly.'

"I think it would,' rejoined the doctor, and probably supersede the necessity of a medical establishment; for this is kitchenphysick with a vengeance.'

"The count entreated the company to suspend their judgment on his new bread, until they had tasted another batch of it, and in the next place, directed their attention to a huge pickle pot, which, he said, contained poultry, fish, and game, preserved in the most exquisite manner, and intended for the use of the army as well as the navy.

"Is this your invention likewise?' said the doctor.

"I cannot claim that honour:' replied the count. The process was discovered by lord Avonside, in the course of his lordship's chymical researches into the nature of acids and alkalis, preparatory to the establishment of his clay and soap manufactory. Pray, gentlemen, allow me to send you some of this turkey.'

"The pickle was accordingly handed round; the count having apprised the company, that this plan also was of an economi

cal kind, and that a single ounce of a chicken, thus preserved, would support a sailor or soldier equally to his usual ration of beef or mutton.

"The doctor at first objected to try any more experiments, but being urged by the count and some of the rest of the gentlemen present, to give his opinion respecting the wholesomeness of the pickle, took a mouthful of it.

"Sir Philip English quietly waited for the doctor's sentiments before he ventured to follow the example: and it was well he did so; for the extreme poignancy of the preparation produced such a fit of coughing and sneezing, that it was a long time before the old gentleman recovered himself sufficiently to express his most unqualified disapprobation and disgust.

"Worthy sir,' said lord Avonside, who, unknown to the doctor, was among the company all the time, 'you took too large a mouthful; the smallest portion of it is sufficient; and, upon my honour, it is a most economical plan.'

"There is no doubt of it, my lord,' replied the physician, 'as it is your invention: but having been called upon for my opi nion, I must tell your lordship, as well as the rest of the company, that, of all the pursuits of the ignorant and the vain, there is none so reprehensible as those which endanger the lives of the human race, and at the same time, bring disgrace upon science.'

"The next day, when sir Philip English was attempting to describe the entertainments, or, as he commonly, and perhaps properly, styled them, the diversions of the preceding evening; and lamenting the puerile conceits of an enlightened people, in an enlightened age, an acquaintance, who happened to drop in, raised the astonishment and disgust of the worthy baronet to a still higher pitch. This gentleman informed him, that the institution, which he had visited, was not only esteemed an object of great national importance by the titled inhabitants of Hill street and Grosvenor square, but that the grave citizens of Cheapside and Leadenhall street were so much delighted with the hope of superseding the necessity of boarding schools for their daughters, and private tutors for their sons, by a similar establishment, at the east end of the town, that they had made a subscription in order to purchase the site of Bedlam Hospital for that purpose; and that apartments for the different professors were already prepared, in the still remaining wing of that building: that which was formerly appropriated for incurables!"

1

Allusion is made in the course of the work to a late celebrated duel, in which Lamprey remarks to the police-runners, "that they would

have been hanged, if they had stopped privy counsellors in the discharge of their duty!"

FROM THE UNIVERSAL MAGAZINE.

The Itinerant; or, Memoirs of an Actor. By S. W. Ryley. 3 vols. 1808. London, Philadelphia, republished by J. and A. Y. Humphreys, 2 vols. 12mo. Price 2 dolls.

WE have seldom perused a work of more amusement than this. If we allow Mr. Ryley to have seen only half what he relates, he has seen enough. We cannot, indeed, assent unconditionally to the assurance in the preface, that the "incidents are founded on facts;" for we consider the episode of Camelford and his associates as altogether improbable, though highly amusing and interesting as a narrative. Several other parts too of the work, bear the impress of invention: yet, with all these deductions, there remains enough of reality to give zest to the whole.

We consider Mr. Ryley as possessing very considerable powers of lively narration. His language is easy and natural, and his delineation of character is often excellent. His morality too is good, and his humanity is unequivocally displayed.

The following narrative will exhibit our author's manner:

"As we reclined on a bank, close by the pathway, an old soldier, whose silver hair and cleanly appearance commanded respect, and who had lost a leg and an eye in the service of his country, limped along, and as he passed, requested our honours would bestow a copper, to purchase tobacco. With an irresistible impulse, I dropped my last sixpence into his hat, whilst my prudent friend, whose father presided as head of the parish, examined the veteran on points of parochial import. Why did he beg? the laws of this country made ample provision for the poor; and for the disabled soldier, a pension might be obtained by proper application. Why, I'll tell your honours. As

to Chelsea, I've got that; but seven pounds a year won't go far now a days; and as to the parish, damme if ever I trouble it again. That is the place,' looking back at the village, whilst the tear stood in his eye, which gave me birth. With an intention to end my days there, about a month since I took a garret, and said to myself: Jerome, thou mayst rest thy old bones; for with the assistance of a trifle from the parish, thy small remnant of life will pass in comfort. But, gemmen, I was reckoning without my host. The heart of a parish officer is as hard as the butt end of a musket; they've killed poor Bibo, and old Jerome's turned out to beg

his bread.'

"The old soldier seemed much agitated in uttering the last sentence, and as we were at a loss to understand what was meant by killing Bibo,' I requested him to be more explicit. Why thus it is, your honours; it's damn'd foolish for an old soldier to stand whimpering like a woman; but when I think of Bibo, though he was but a brute, and had not a soul to be saved, I can't help chuckling. I believe there's one quid left in the corner of my box,' saying this, he cramed the tobacco into his mouth, wiped his eye, squirted out a quantity of saliva, and proceeded.

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Twenty four years I served under the brave captain Howard, in the 5th regiment of foot, and a better gemman, God rest his soul, never lived; the last six years of his life, he took me into his house as a kind of valedy sham. He had no family except Bibo, a Newfoundland dog, which he loved like a child; for when the noble captain served abroad he once fell overboard, and Bibo saved his life. His honour was not very rich. He was too generous to be rich; it was as much as he could do to make both ends meet. However, he took care to keep Bibo as fat as a pig; and I've often heard him say, if he died first, he'd leave Bibo a fortune; but Lord help him, he had no fortune to leave, for when he

lay on his death bed, he ordered me to sell his gold watch to buy nourishment. Jerome,' said he, 'take care of my dog. The life that he once saved I am going to resign into the hands of him that made us both.' He soon after died, and Bibo was left to my care. I had some regard, gemmen, you will think, for the poor animal, for you know the old saying, 'love me, love my dog,' and though I had nothing left but my pension, I thought if I retired to my own village, I might be able to live, as I said before, with a little help from the parish; so after the funeral, I set off with Bibo at my heels, determined to beg as soon as my money was done, which could not last long, being only a new crown piece the captain gave me, and six pennyworth of copper, to travel seventy miles. Perhaps, gemmen, you are tired; I'd bet ter be hobbling on, it will do you no good to hear my story, and it grieves me to tell it.' "We assured him we were much interested, and begged he would proceed. • Well then, thus it is; but if you please I'll sit down, because you know, your honours, when a man has but one leg, he can't stand so well as if he had two! Ah I shall never forget the day I lost the fellow to this; it was taken off by a shot at Bunker's Hill. As I lay on the ground, the captain passing by me as he left the field (for you see our forces were on the retreat, and it was as much as his life was worth to stay a minute) got me by the hand, and said: 'Jerome, God bless thee,' and may God bless him, and he will bless him too; for I can tell your honours

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"We now reminded him, that in his affection for his master, he seemed to have forgotten the sequel to Bibo. Very true, very true,' running his finger round his empty box, in hopes of finding another quid, very true, I had got a little out of the road to be sure; Bunker's Hill is not the way to Saddleworth. Well then, gemmen, thus it is; old Jerome hobbled on pretty stoutly, and Bibo waddled after, at the rate of about one mile an hour. To make short of my story, the crown piece lasted till we reached Manchester. There 1 began to beg for the first time. But I can't tell how it was: whether, not being used to the trade, I set about it clumsily, I don't know; but no one would give me a farthing. It's very hard, thought I, that an old soldier, who has lost a leg and an eye in defence of his country, should find no one willing to give him a trifle, to help him on the road. At length, an old lady approached, and was in the act of presenting something, when Bibo caught her eye. She asked whose dog he was?' mine, an'

please your ladyship.' 'Indeed!' said she, drawing her hand away, 'if you can afford to keep a dog, you can't want my assistance.' Poor Bibo!' said I. Bibo heard me-looked up, and wagged his tail; ' aye, aye, poor fellow! wag away,' thought I, "if I can get thee to my own parish, thou shalt be safely laid up for life. Would you believe it, gemmen? I did not get one halfpenny the whole day. Some talked of a pass; others threatened the New Bailey; neither Bibo nor myself had tasted since morning; night was coming on; no place of shelter appeared ready to receive our weary limbs; as I leaned on my crutch, debating, Bibo shook himself, as much as to say: 'Jerome it's very cold,' when the noise of a new brass collar, the captain bought just before he died, put a thought in my head, that procured us meat, drink, and lodging. That collar, said I to myself, is of no use: better for Bibo to be without collar than without meat. So I took it off, went to a shop, and sold it for fifteen pence; though it had cost five shillings not a month before. With this money I purchased the following articles: four pennyworth of cheese, a pint of beer, a twopenny straw bed, and three pennyworth of tobacco.

“Refreshed, and praising God for all things, we set off at five o'clock the next morning, and by night reached my native place. Twenty five years ago I took on to be a soldier; during that time, nearly all my friends were dead; those who remained, not knowing me, would render me no assistance, except a night's lodging, and advised an immediate application to the parish. Seeing how matters were, I waited on the commanding officer, and made known my situation. Says I: 'Your honour,' for I thought I'd honour him, though he was but a tailor-so, 'your honour,' says I, my name is Jeromy Antrobus; my father was sexton of this parish for forty years; I've been twenty five years in the army; lost a leg and an eye, as you see, and am laid by as useless, with a pension of seven pounds a year; but that, you know, is not enough to keep soul and body together; so I'm come to your honour for a little relief to help out with.' Now it rained very hard, gemmen, and, standing with my hat off, almost bald, as you see, I asked leave to walk in; for he peeped out at a little wicket casement, which, I am told, goes by the name of the Devil's Picture-frame, amongst the poor. However, I was not admitted; but he held out his hand, and dropped into my hat eighteen pennyworth of bad copper, saying, he knew nothing about me, but would call at my quarters.' I am told he makes a pretty penny of these bad half

pence; for he buys them in at ten shillings in the pound, and makes the poor take

them for their full value.

"Next day, this d-d tailor called; God forgive me, I can't help swearing when I think of him; the curse of the poor will follow him to the grave; I say, gemmen, he came to my quarters, and the churchwarden with him. I had just breakfasted on three parts of a basin of milk and bread, and Bibo was eating up the fourth, when the tailor, as stiff as buckram, came into the cellar. As soon as he saw the dog, he exclaimed: 'What! a pauper keep a dog at the expense of the parish! With these words, he up with his stick and gave the poor brute such a blow under the ear, that he dropped, and never rose again.

"You may think, gemmen, an old soldier would not sit long quiet in a situation of this kind; so I made shift to shoulder my stick, and, with the first volley, brought down the tailor's hat and wig; but before I could rally my forces for another attack, they beat a retreat; and it would have done your hearts good, to have heard the churchwarden, and the overseer, calling for assistance against a poor cripple, who had but one leg to stand upon. A mob was soon collected, who, being properly informed how matters stood, cursed the hard hearted village tyrant, made a grave for my poor Bibo, which I soaked with my tears; and am now, as you see, tracing my weary way back to Manchester'

"The veteran drew his hand across his eyes, rose up, and prepared for his departure. My friend rose at the same time: Stop, honest Jerome! perhaps we may have it in our power to serve you; all overseers are not cursed with the disposition of neighbour Staytape.' By this time my companion had torn a leaf out of his pock et book, and hastily sketched a few lines with a pencil. About a mile hence, at the foot of yonder hill, you see a white house. Take this note as directed, and in an hour I shall be there myself. The old soldier placed the note in his empty tobacco box, and, with God bless your honours,' slowly hobbled on his way.

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"After a pause, my friend William said, with a sigh: Here is another proof of the depravity of human nature. I believe this poor man's story; for I know the tailor well; he is a wretch! Constant in all the outward forms of religion, he turns over the leaves of his prayer-book, and is louder than any of the congregation in vociferating its contents; yet, the first of all Christian virtues, charity, he is as much a stranger to, as if he had never heard the

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The following presents a different kind of writing:

"Many of my theatrical readers will remember PENN with some degree of pleasure; for he was an actor above the common stamp. He had the grand requisites: an expressive eye; features well calculated to portray the passions; and a strong, articulate voice. In opposition to these advantages, his person was awkward, and his deportment ungraceful; he had neither the appearance nor the gait of a gentleman. In consequence of being brought up a schoolmaster, he was pedantick in the extreme. Could these disadvantages have been corrected, or overlooked, Penn would have been in high estimation, and ranked before many firstrate actors of his day. He was, however, a great favourite in the country; made good benefits, and might have done very well, had not that destructive companion, dissipation, robbed him of the comforts enjoyed by those who take prudence for their guide. Seldom had he a decent coat; in lieu of which, he generally wore a great coat, buttoned to the chin, which served to conceal the forlorn state of his linen. His slow, methodical mode of speaking, gained him the appellation of Podo. Regularly every morning, at 12 o'clock, he entered the doors of a small publick house in the vicinity of the theatre, and, with folded arms, knit brows, and a sidelook at the landlady, he beckoned three distinct times; then, pointing to his mouth, gave full intimation of his wants. A glass of real Nantz, followed by an approving smack of the lips, gave a rich sparkle to his eye and a firmness to his nerves, which, before this application, were languid and relaxed; then, turning slowly, and pointing to the cupboard door, behind which his account was kept, he marched out, nor uttered a syllable during the whole negotiation.

"Some people there are, who cannot pronounce the r; others misplace the v and w; the is sometimes substituted for the n; which gives an articulation similar to that of a person who has, by some calamity, lost the roof of his mouth. Of this latter description was Podo's landlady. I had heard of his long score behind the cupboard door, and called to give her a

caution.

"Does Mr. Penn ever talk of paying you?' said I.

"Lo, sir,' she replied, 'he lever talks at all.'

"I then advised her chalk no more till the other was rubbed out.

"Penn went the next day, as usual

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