The husband

owes to the wife love.

duties. There is, first, love; which St. Paul requires to be very tender and compassionate towards the wife, as appears by the similitudes he uses in that matter, Eph. v. The one, that of the love a man bears to his natural body. No man, saith he, ver. 29. ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it, and cherisheth it. The other love is that Christ bears to his Church, which is far greater, ver. 25, both which he sets as patterns of this love of husbands towards their wives. This utterly forbids all harshness and roughness to them: men are to use them as parts of themselves, to love them as their own bodies, and therefore to do nothing that may be hurtful and grievous to them, no more than they would cut and gash their own flesh. Let those husbands that tyrannize over their wives, that scarce use them like human creatures, consider whether that be to love them as their own bodies.

Faithfulness.

XIII. A second duty of the husband is faithfulness to the bed. This is by God as well required of the husband as the wife; and though the world do seem to look on the breach of this duty with less abhorrence in the husband, yet surely before that just Judge, the offence will appear no less on the man's side than the woman's: this is certain, it is in both a breach of the vow made to each other at their marriage; and so, besides the uncleanness, a downright perjury; and those differences in the case, which seem to cast the scale, are rather in respect of civil and worldly considerations, than merely of the sin.

XIV. A third duty of the husband is to maintain Maintenance. and provide for the wife. He is to let her partake with him in those outward good things wherewith God hath blessed him, and neither by niggardliness debar her of what is fit for her, nor yet by unthriftiness to waste his goods, that he shall become unable to support her. This cer

tainly is the duty of the husband, who, being, as hath been said, to account his wife as a part of his own body, must have the very same care to sustain her, that he hath for himself. Yet this is not so to be understood, as to excuse the wife from her part of labour and industry, when that is requisite: it being unreasonable that the husband should toil to maintain the wife in idleness.

Instruction.

XV. Fourthly, the husband is to instruct the wife in the things that concern her eternal welfare, if she be ignorant of them. Thus St. Paul bids the wives learn by their husbands at home, 1 Cor. xiv. 35. which supposes that the husband is to teach her. Indeed it belongs to every master of a family to endeavour that all under his charge be taught all necessary things of this kind; and then surely more especially his wife, who is so much nearer to him than all the rest. This should make men careful to get knowledge themselves, that so they may be able to perform this duty which they owe to others.

Husbands and wives

mutually to pray for

and assist each other in all good.

souls, by stirring

XVI. Lastly, husbands and wives are mutually to pray for each other, to beg all blessings from God, both spiritual and temporal, and to endeavour all they can to do good to one another, especially to each other's up to the performance of duty, and dissuading and drawing back from all sin, and by being like true yoke-fellows, helpful and assistant to each other, in the doing of all sorts of good, both to their own family, and all others within their reach. This is, of all others, the truest and most valuable love. Nay, indeed, how can it be said they do love at all, who contentedly let each other run on in a course that will bring them to eternal misery? And if the love of husbands and wives were thus grounded in virtue and religion, it would make their lives a kind of heaven on earth; it would prevent all those con

tentions and brawlings so common among them, which are the great plagues of families, and the lesser hell in passage to the greater: and truly where it is thus founded, there is little comfort to be expected in marriage.

XVII. It should therefore be the care of every

The virtue of the person the chief consideration in marriage.

one, that means to enter upon that state, to consider advisedly beforehand, and to choose a person with whom they may have the spiritual friendship; that is, such a one as truly fears God. There are many false ends of marriage looked upon in the world; some marry for wealth, others for beauty, and generally, they are only worldly respects that are at all considered: but certainly he that would marry as he ought, should contrive to make his marriage useful to those better ends of serving God, and saving his own soul; at least, he must be sure to be no hindrance to them: and to that purpose the virtue of the person chosen, is more conducing than all the wealth in the world: though I deny not that a competency of that may likewise be considered.

Unlawful

XVIII. But above all things, let all take heed that they make not such marriages as may not marriages. only be ill in their effects, but are actual sins at the time; such are the marriages of those that were formerly promised to some other: in which case, it is sure they rightly belong to those to whom they passed the first promise; and then for any other to marry them, during the life of that person, is to take the husband or wife of that other: which is direct adultery, as St. Paul tells us, Rom. vii. 3. The like unlawfulness there is also in the marriage of those who are within those degrees of kindred forbidden by God; the particulars whereof are set down in the 18th and 20th of Leviticus. And whoever marries any that is within any of those degrees of nearness, either to himself, or to his de

ceased wife, which is as bad, commits that great sin of incest; and so long as he continues to live with such his unlawful wife, remains in that fearful guilt. This wariness in the choice of the person to be married would prevent many sad effects, which we daily see follow such rash or unlawful matches. It were well, therefore, if people would look on marriage, as our Church advises, as a thing not to be undertaken lightly, unadvisedly, or wantonly, to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; and in so doing, no doubt a blessing would follow, which otherwise there is little ground to expect. I have now done with this relation between husband and wife.

XIX. The next is that between friends: and

this relation, if it be rightly founded, is Friendship: of great nearness and usefulness; but

there is none more generally mistaken in the world: men usually call them their friends, with whom they have an intimacy and frequency of conversation, though that intimacy be indeed nothing but an agreement and combination in sin. The drunkard thinks him his friend, that will keep him company; the deceitful person, him that will aid him in his cheats; the proud man, him that will flatter him: and so generally in all vices they are looked on as friends, that advance and further us in them. But, God knows this is far from friendship; such a friend as this the devil himself is in the highest degree, who is never backward in such offices. The true friendship is that of a direct contrary making; it is a concurrence and agreement in virtue not in vice. In short, a true friend loves his friend so, that he is very zealous of his good: and certainly he that is really so, will never be the instrument of bringing him to the greatest evil. The general Its duties. duty of a friend must then be resolved to

be the industrious pursuit of his friend's real advan

tages, in which there are several particulars contained.

XX. As, first, faithfulness in all trusts committed to him by his friend, whether that of goods Faithfulness.

or secrets: he that betrays the trust of a friend in either, is by all men looked upon with abhorrence, it being one of the highest falsenesses and treacheries; and from such treacherous wounds the Wise Man tells us, every friend will depart, Ecclus. xxii. 22.

XXI. Secondly, it is the duty of a friend to be Assistance. assisting to his friend in all his outward needs; to counsel him, when he wants advice; to cheer him when he needs comfort; to give him when he wants relief; and to endeavour his rescue out of any trouble or danger. An admirable example we have of this friendship in Jonathan to David, he loved him as his own soul; and we see, he not only contrives for his safety, when he was in danger, but runs hazards himself to rescue and deliver his friend; draws his father's anger upon him, to turn it from David, as you may read at large, 1 Sam. xx.

Admonition.

XXII. The third and highest duty of a friend is to be aiding and assisting to the soul of his friend, to endeavour to advance that in piety and virtue, by all means within his power, by exhortations and encouragements to all virtue, by earnest and vehement dissuasions from all sin; but not only thus in general, but by applying to his particular wants, especially by plain and friendly reproofs, where he knows, or reasonably believes, there is any fault committed. This is of all others, the most peculiar duty of a friend, it being indeed that which none else is qualified for. Such an unwillingness there is in most men to hear of their faults, that those who undertake that work, had need have a great prepossession of their hearts, to make them patient of it. Nay, it is so generally acknow