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no-verbs.--Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so:--Give Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me ; my me thy hand, celestial; so Boys of art, I have nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush. deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong Host. What say you to young master Fenton ? he places : your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes and let barnt sack be the issue.--Come, lay their verses, he speaks holy-day, he smells April and May : swords to pawn:-Follow me, lad of peace ; follow, he will carry't, he will carry't ; 'tis in his buttons follow, follow.

he will carry't. Shal. Trust me, a mad host:--Follow, gentlemen, Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The follow.

gentleman is of no having: he kept company with Slen. O, sweet Anne Page !

the wild Prince and Poins; he is of too high a re(Exeunt Shal. Slen. Page, and Fost. gion, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a Caius. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you make a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance:

if he take her, let him take her simply the wealth Eva. This is well; he has made as bis Floating. I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not stog.--I desire you, that we may be friends ; and let that way. us knog oar prains together, to be revenge on this Ford. I beseech yon, heartily, some of you go home same scall, scarvy, cogging companion, the host of with me to dinner besides your cheer, you shall have the Garter.

sport; I will show you a monster. Master doctor, Caius. By gar, vit all my heart; he promise to you shall go ;-50 shall yon, master Page ;-and you, bring me vere is Anne Page, by gar, he deceive sir Hugh. me too.

Shal. Well, fare you well :-we shall have the freer Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles :-Pray yon, wooing at master Page's. [Exeunt Shal, and Slen. follow.

(Exeunt. Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. SCENE 11. The Street in Windsor.

[Exit Rugby

Host. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest Enter Mrs. Page and Robin.

knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [Exit. Mrs. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant ; Ford. (Aside) I think, I shall drink in pipe-wine you were wont to be a follower, but now, you are a first with bim ; l'il make bin dance. Will you go, leader: Whether bad you rather, lead mine eyes, or gentles! eye your master's heels?

All, Have with you to see this monster. (Exeunt. Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.

SCENE III. A Room in Ford's House. Mrs. Page. O you are a flattering boy; now, I

Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page. see, you'll be a courtier.

Mrs. Ford. What, John! what, Robert !
Enter Ford.

Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly : is the back-basketFord. Well met, mistress Page : Whither go you!

Mrs. Ford. I warrant :---what, Robin, I say. Mrs. Page. Truly, sir, to see your wife : Is she at

Enter Servants, with a Basket. home!

Mrs. Page. Come, come, come. Ford. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, Mrs. Ford. Here, set it down. for want of company : I think, if your husbands were M18. Page. Give your men the charge ; we must dead, you two would marry.

be brief. Mrs. Page. Be sure of that,-two other husbands.

Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John and Ford. Where had you this pretty weathercock! Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse ;

Mrs. Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and (withdame is my husband had him of: What do you call out any pause or staggering), take this basket on your your knight's name, sirrah?

shoulders : that done, trudge with it in all haste, and Rob. Sir John Falstaff. Pord. Sir John Falstaff!

carry it among the whitsters in Datchet Mead, and

there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Mrs. Page. He, he : I can never hit on's name. Thames' side. There is such a league between my good man and Mrs. Page. You will do it? he!-Is your wife at home, indeed!

Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they Ford. Indeed, sbe is.

lack no direction : begone, and come when you are Mrs. Page. By your leave, sir ;-I am sick, till I called.

(Exeunt Servants. see her.

(Exeunt Mrs. Page and Robin. Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin. Ford. Has Page any brains ! hath he any eyes hath he any thinking! Sure, they sleep; he hath

Enter Robin. no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter

Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket! what twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot point- news with you? blank twelve score. He pieces-out his wife's incli Rob. My master, sir John, is come in at your backnation; he gives her folly motion, and advantage door, mistress Ford ; and requests your company. and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy

Mrs. Page. You kittle Jack-a-lent, have you been with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the true to us! wind !--and Falstalt's boy with her ! -Good plots

Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn : my master knows not of they are laid ; and our revolted wives share damna- your being here ; and bath threatened to put me into tion together. Well; I will take him, then torture everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it ; for, he swears, my wite, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from he'll turn

me away. the so see ning mistress tage, divulge Page himself

Mrs. Page. Thou'rt a good boy; this secrecy of for a secure and willActeon; and to these violent thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock a new doublet and hose.--I'll go hide me. strites.) The clock gives me my cae, and my assu

Mrs. Ford. Do so :--Go tell thy master I am alone. rance bids me search"; there I shall find Falstaff: I Mrs. Page, remember you your cue. (Erit Robin. shall be rather praised for this, than mocked; for it

Mrs. Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is

(Exit. tbere : I will go.

Mrs. Ford. Go to then; we'll use this unwholeEnter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh

some hamidity, this gross watery pumpion ;--we'll

teach him to know turtles from jays. Évans, Caius, and Rugby.

Enter Falstaff Shal. Page, &c. Well met, master Ford. Ford. Trast me, a good knot: I have good cheer Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel! Why, at home: and, I pray you, all go with


now let me die, for I have lived long enough ; this Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford.

is the period of my ambition : O this blessed hour! Slen. And must I, sir; we have appointed to Mrs. Ford. O sweet sir John ! dine with mistress Anne, and I would not break with Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, her for more money than I'll speak of.

mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I wouid Skal. We have linger'd about a match between thy husband were dead : P'll speak it before the best Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we lord, I would make thee my lady. shall have our answer.

Mrs. Ford. I your lady, sir John ! alas, I should Slen. I hope, I bave your good-will, father Page. be a pitiful lady.

Page. You have, master Slender, I stand wholly Fal. Let the court of France show me such anofor yon :--but my wife, master doctor, is for you al- ther; I see how thine eyes would ennulate the diatogether.

mond; thou hast the right arched bent of the brow,

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that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any Mrs. Page. Help

to cover your master, boy: ca!! tire of Venetian adinittance.

your men, mistress Ford :-You dissembling Knight! Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, sir John : my brows Mrs. Ford. What, John, Robert, John! [Exit become nothing else ; por that well neither.' Robin ; re-enter Servants) Go take up these clothes

Fal. Thou art a traitor to say so: thou wouldst here, quickly : where's the cowl-staff ! lonk, how make an absolute courtier : and the tirm fixture of you drumble; carry them to the laundress in Datchet thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, Mead ; quickly, come. in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thod wert,

Enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. if fortune thy foe were not; nature is thy friend :

Ford. Pray you, come near : if I suspect without come, thou canst not hide it. Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in cause, why then make sport at de, then let me be

your jest; I deserve it.-How now? whither bear you

this? Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee, there's something extraordinary in thee. Come,

Serv. To the laundress, forsooth. I cannot cog, and say, thou art this and that, like a they bear it? you were best meddle with buck

Mrs. Ford. Why, what have you to do whither many of these lisping hawthorn beds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Backlersbury

washing in simple-time; I cannot: but I love thee; none back! Buck, buck, buck ? av, back; I warrant you,

Ford. Back? I would I could wash myself of the but thee, and thou deservest it. Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, sir ; I fear, you love buck; and of the season too, it shall

appear. (Exeunt

Servants with the Basket] Gentlemen, I bare dreamFal. Thou might'st as well say, I love to walk by here be my keys: ascend my chambers, search, seek,

ed to-night; I'll tell you my dream. Here, bere, the Counter-gate ; which is as hateful to me as the find out : I'll warrant, we'll unkennel the fox :- Let reek of a lime-kiln.

me stop this way first :-So, now, uncape. Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows, how I love you ;

Page. Good master Ford, be contented: you and you shall one day find it. Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.

wrong yourself too much. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. (Esit.

Ford True, master Page.-Up, gentlemen ; you else I could not be in that mind. Rob. [Within) Mistress Ford, mistress Ford !

Eva. This is fery fantastical humours, and jealou

sies. here's mistress Page at the door, sweating and blow

Caius. By gar, tis no de fashion of France : it is ing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with

not jealous in France. you presently, Fal. She shall not see me; I will ensconce me be- of his search:

Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen ; see the issue hind the arras.

(Eseunt Evans, Page, and Caius. Mrs. Ford, Pray you, do so; she's a very tattling this?

Mrs. Page. Is there not a double excellency in woman.

[Falstaff hides himself

Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, Enter Mistre Page and Robin.

that my husband is deceived, or sir John. W bat's the matter! h w now!

Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when Mrs. Page. O mistress Ford, what have you done? your husband asked who was in the basket!' You're shamed, you are overthrown, you are undone washing ; so throwing him into the water will do

Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of for ever.

him a benefit. Mrs. Ford. What's the matter, good mistress Page! Mrs. Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford ! having

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would, an honest man to your husband, to give him soch all of the

same strain were in the same distress.

Mrs. Ford. I think, my husband hath some specause of suspicion ! Mrs. Ford. What canse of suspicion ?

cial suspicion of Falstaff's being here ; for I never Mrs. Page. Wbat cause of suspicion 1-Oat upon

saw him so gross in bis jealousy till pow.

Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that: And you ! how am I mistook in you!

we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff": bis disMrs. Ford. Why, alas ! what's the matter?

solute disease will scarce obey this medicine. Mrs. Page. Your hasband's coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing

Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, a gentleman, that, he says, is here now in the house, into the water, and give him another hope, to betray by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his ab-him to another punishment ! sence. You are undone.

Mrs. Page. We'll do it ; let him be sent for toMrs. Ford. Speak louder.-[Aside]—'Tis not so,

morrow eight o'clock, to have amends. Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have Re-enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. such a man here; but 'tis most certain your basband's Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave brag. coming, with balf Windsor at his heels, to search ged of that he could not compass. for such a one.

I come before to tell you: if you Mrs. Page. Heard you that! know yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if you Mrs. Ford. Ay, ay, peace :-You use me well, have a friend here, convey, convey bim out. Be not master Fond, do you ? amazed ; call all your senses to you ; defend your re Ford. Ay, I do so. putation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever. Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your

Mrs. Ford. What shall I do! There is a gentle thoughts ! man, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own Ford. Amen. shame, so much as his peril: I had rather than a Mrs. Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, masthousand pound he were out of the house.

ter Ford. Mrs. Page. For shame, never stand you had rather, Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it. and you had rather; your husband's here at hand, Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in bethink you of some conveyance : in the house you the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, cannot hide him.-0, bow have you deceived me heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment ! Look, here is a basket; if he be of any reasonable Caius. By gar, nor I too; dere is no bodies. stature, he may creep in here; and throw foal linen Page. Fie, fie, master Ford ! are you not ashamed! upon him, as if it were going to bucking : or it is What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination ! whiting-time, send him by your men to Datchet Mead. I would not have your distemper in this kind, for

Mrs. Ford. He's too big to go in there : what shall the wealth of Windsor Castle. 1 do?

Ford. 'Tis my fault, master Page : I suffer for it.

Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience : your wife Re-enter Falstaff.

is as honest a 'omans as I will desires among five Pal. Let me see't ! let me see't! O let me see't! thousand, and five hundred too. I'll in, I'll in :--follow your friend's counsel ;-I'M Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. in.

Pord. Well, I promised you a dinner :- Come, Mrs. Page. What! sir John Falstaff! Are these come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; 1 your letters, knight!

will hereafter make known to you, why I bave Fal. I love thee, and none but thee; help me done this.--Come, wife ;-come, mistress Page; I away : let me creep in here ; P'll never

pray you pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me. [He goes into the Basket; they cover him Page, Let's go in, gentlemen ; but, trust me, we'll with foul Linen.

mock him. I do invite you to morrow morning to

I hope.

my house to breakfast ; after, we'll a birding toge

Enter Page and Mistress Page. ther; I have a fine hawk for the bush: shall it be so !

Page. Now, master Slender :-Love him, daughter Ford. Any thing.

Aune. Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the why, how now! what does master Fenton here! company.

You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house: Caius. If there be one or two, I shall make-a de

I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of. tard.

Fent. Nay, master Page, be not impatient. Eva. In your teeth : for shame.

Mrs. Page. Good master Fenton, come not to my Ford. Pray you go, master Page.

Page. She is no match for you.

(child Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on

Pent. Sir, will you hear me! the lousy knave, mine host.


No, good master Fenton, Caius. Dat is good ; by gar, vit all my heart. Come, master Shallow : come, son Slender; in :

Eva. A lousy oknave; to have his gibes and his Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Featon. mockeries!


(Eseunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Quick. Speak to mistress Page.
SCENE IV. A Room in Page's House. tent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your
Enter Fenton and Mistress Anne Page.


In such a righteous fashion as I do, Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love ; Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners, Therefore, no more tarn me to him, sweet Nan. I most advance the colours of my love, Anne. Alas! how then ?

And not retire: let me have your good will. Pent.

Why, thou must be thyself. He doth object, I am too great of birth;

Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond' fool. And that, my state being gall'd with my expense,

Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better hus

Quick. That's my master, master doctor. (band. I seek to heal it only hy his wealth

Anne. Alas, 1 bad rather be set quick i'the earth, Besides these, other bars be lays before me,

And bowl'd to death with turnips. My riots past, my wild societies;

Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself: good masAnd tells me, 'tis a thing impossible I should love thee, but as a property.

[ter Fenton,

I will not be your friend, nor enemy Anne. May be, he tells you true.

My daughter will I question how she loves you, Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come! Till then, farewell, sir:-She must needs go in;

And as I find her, so am I affected; Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth

Her father will be angry. Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne.

[Ereunt Mrs. Page and Anne. Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value

Fent. Parewell, gentle mistress ; fare well, Nan. Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags;

Quick. This is my doing now ;-Nay, said I, will And 'tis the very riches of thyself

you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician! That now I aim at.

Look on, master Fenton :--this is my doing
Gentle master Fenton,

Fent. I thank thee ; and I pray thee, once to-right Yet seek my father's love : still seek it, sir.

Give my sweet Nan this ring : there's for thy pains. If opportunity and humble suit

[Erit. Cannot attain it, why then-Hark you hither, Quick. Now heaven send thee good fortane! A

[They converse apart. kind heart he hath: a woman would run through Enter Shallow, Slender, and Mrs. Quickly. Shal. Break their talk, mistress Quickly; my would my master had mistress Anne; or I would

tire and water for such a kind heart. But yet, I kinsman shall speak for himself.

master Slender had her ; or, in sooth, I would masSlen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't; slid, 'tister Fenton had her: I will do what I can for thein but venturing. Shal. Be not dismay'd.

all three ; for so I have promised, and I'll be as Slen. No, she shall not dismay me : I care not for Well, I must of another errand to sir John Falstaff

good as my word; but speciously for master Fenton. that,---but that I am afeard.

from my two mistresses; what a beast am I to slack Quick. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a it!

(Exit. word with you. Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's choice.

SCENE V. A Room in the Garter Inn. o, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults

Enter Falstaff and Bardolph. Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year! Fal. Bardolph, I say,

Aside. Bar. Here, sir. Quick. And how does good master Fenton ? Prayel Barcels Have I lived to be carried in a base

Fal. Go fetch me a ; you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou ket, like a barrow of butcher's offal; and to be hadst a father!

thrown into the Thames? Well; if í be served Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne ;-my uncle such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, can tell you good jests of himn

:--Pray you, unele, and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river geese out of a pen, good uncle.

with as little remorse as they would have drown'da Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i'the litter : aud you

Slen. Ay, that I do ; as well as I love any womau may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in Glocestershire.

in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, i Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. should down. I had been drowned, but that the

Slen. Ay, that I will come out and long-tail, shore was shelvy and shallow ; a death that I abhor; ander the degree of a squire.

for the water swells a man; and what a thing should Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty I have been, when I had been swelled! I should poands jointure.

have been a mountain of mummy. Anno. Good master Shallow, let him woo for him

Re-enter Bardolph, with the Wine. self. Shal. Marry, I thank you for it, I thank you for

Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with that good comfort. She calls you, com: l'il leave you.


Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Anne. Now, master Slender. Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.

Thames water; for my belly's as cold as if I had Anne. What is your will!

swallowed snow-balls for pills to cool the reins.

Call her in. Slen. My will? od's heartlings, that's a pretty

Bard. Come in, woman. jest, indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give

Enter Mrs. Quickly. heaven praise

Quick. By your leave; I cry your merey: give Anne mean, master Slender, what would you your worship good morrow. with me?

Fal, Take away these chalices: go brew we a Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or pottle of sack finely. nothing with you : your father, and my uncle, have Bar. With eggs, sir? made motions: if it be my luck, so: if not, happy Fal. Simple of itself: I'll no pallet-sperm in my man be his dole! They can tell you how things go, brewage.-(Exit Bardolph)---How now? better than I can : you may ask your father; here Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from be comes.

mistress Ford.


Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough : 1 Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Ætpa, was thrown into the ford : I have my belly full of ford. as I have been into the Thames, ere I will leave

Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a bird her fault; she does so take on with her men ; they ing : I have received from her another embassy of mistook their erection.

meeting ; 'twixt eight and nine is the bour, master Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish wo-Brook. man's promise.

Ford. "Tis past eight already, sir. Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it Pal. Is it! I will then address me to my appointwould yearn your heart to see it. Her husband ment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and goes this morning a birding; she desires you once you shall know how I speed ; and the conclusion more to come to her between eight and nine : I must shall be crowned with your enjoying her: adieu. carry ber word quickly: she'll make you amends, 1 You shall bave her, master Brook ; 'master Brook, warrant you.

you shall cuckold Ford.

(Exit. Pal. Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid Ford. Hum ! ha! is this a vision is this a dream! her think, what a man is : let her consider his do I sleep? Master Ford, awake ; awake, master frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Ford ; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Quick. I will tell her.

Ford. This 'tis to be married ! this 'tis to have Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou ? linen, and back-baskets !-Well, I will proclaim Quick. Eight and nine, sir.

myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he Hal. Well, be gone : I will not miss her. is at my house : he cannot scape me ; 'tis impossiQuick. Peace be with you, sir !

(Exit. ble he should ; be cannot creep into a half-penny Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brook; he purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil sent me word to stay within : I like his money well. that gnides him should aid him, I will search imO, here he comes.

possible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, Enter Ford.

yet to be what I would not, shall not make me

tame : if I have horns to make one mad, let the Ford. Bless you, sir!

go with me, I'll be horn mad. [Esit. Pal. Now, master Brook ; you come to know what hath passed between me and Ford's wife !

Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business.
Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was

at her house the hour she appointed me.
Ford. And how speed you, sir !

SCENE I. The Street. Fal. Very ill-favourediy, master Brook.

Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William. Ford. How so, sir! Did she change her determination!

Mrs. Page. Is he at master Ford's already, think'st

thou ! Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornuto,

Quick. Sure he is by this; or will be presently : her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continaal but traly, he is very coarageous mad, about his 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, to come suddenly. and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither bring my young man here to school: look, where

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, for his master comes ; 'tis a playing-day, I see. sooth, to search his house for his wife's love. Ford. What, wbile you were there !

Enter Sir Hugh Evans. Fal. While I was there.

How now, sir Hugh I no school to-day! Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find Eva. No ; master Slender is let the boys leave to

Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, Quick. Blessing of his heart! comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence of Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son Ford's approach ; and, by her invention, and Ford's profits nothing in the world at his book; I' pray wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a buck- you, ask him some questions in his accidence. basket.

Eva. Come hither, William ; hold up your head; Ford. A back-basket!

come. Fal. By the Lord, a back-basket: rammed me in Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, and answer your master, be not afraid. greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns? rank est compound of villanous smell, that ever of Will. Two. fended nostril.

Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one numFord. And how long lay you there!

ber more ; because they say, od's nouns. Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I Eva. Peace your tattlings. What is fair, William ! have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your Will. Pulcher. sod, Being this crammed in a basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their poulcats, sure.

Quick. Poulcats ! there are fairer things thap mistress, to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Eva. You are a very simplicity 'oman; I pray Datchet-lane : they took me on their shoulders; met you, peace. What is lapis, Williain ? the jealous knave, their master, in the door ; who Will. A stope. asked them once or twice what they had in their Eva. And wbat is a stone, William ? basket. I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave Will. A pebble. would have searched it; but Fate, ordaining he should Eva. No, it is lapis ; I pray you, remember in be a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went he for your prain. a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But Wil. Lapis. mark the sequel, master Brook : I suffered the pangs Eva. That is good, William. What is he, Wiiof three several deaths : first, an intolerable fright, to liam, that does lend articles ! be detected with a jealous rotten bell-wether: next, Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and to be compassed like a good bilbo, in the circumfer- be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hæc, ence of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head : and then, hoc. to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray yon, mark: stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease: genitivo, hujus, Well, what is your accusative case ? think of that,--a man of my kidney,--think of that; Will. Accusativo, hinc. that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of con Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, ebild; tinual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle to accusativo, hing, hang, hog 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. when I was more than balf stewed in grease, like a Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and focative case, Williain ! cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe ; Will, 0-Vocativo, O. think of that ;-bissing hot, -think of that, master Eva. Remember, William ; focative is, caret. Brook.

Quick. And that's a good root. l'ord. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my

Eva. 'Oman, forbear, sake you have suffered all this. My suit then is des Mrs. Page. Peace. perate ; you'll undertake her no more.

Eva. What is your genitive case, plural, William !

you !


Will, Genitive case ?

Mrs. Ford. He will seek there on my word. Bva. Ay.

Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but Will. Genitive,-korum, harum, horum.

he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her places, and goes to them by his note: there is no never name her child, if she be a whore.

hiding you in the house. Bra. For shame, 'oman.

Fal. I'll go out then. Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll you die, sir John. Unless you go out disgui ed, do fast enough of themselves; and to call horam : Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him! fie upon you !

Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is Eva. 'Oman, art thou lanatics ? hast thou no un no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, derstandings for thy cases, and the

numbers of the he might pat

on a hai, a muher, and a kerchief, and genders! Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as so escape. I would desires.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extreMrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.

mity, rather than a mischief. Eva. Show me now, William, some declensions of Mrs. Fordd. My naid's aunt, the fat woman of your pronouns.

Brentford, has a gown above. Wil. Forsooth, I have forgot.

Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him ; she's Era. It is ki, ke, kod ; if you forget your kies, as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and your kæs, and your cods, you must be preeches. Go her mufiler too : run up, sir Jobo. your ways, and play, go.

Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet sir John: mistress Page Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought and I will look some linen for your head. he was.

Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you Eva. He is a good spray memory. Farewell, mis- straight; put on the gown the while. (Exit Bal. tress Page.

Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet him Mrs. Page. Adieu, good sir Hagh.[Exit Sir Hugh) in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Get you home, boy.--Come, we stay too long. Brentford : he swears she's witch; forbade her

[Exeunt. my house, and bath threatened to beat her. SCENE II. A Room in Ford's House.

Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's

end gel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards! Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.

Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming! Pal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks safferance: I see, you are obsequious in your love, of the basket too, howsoever he hath bad intelligence. and I profess reqaital to a hair's breadth ; not only, Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, bat in ali men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it. door with it, as they did last time. But are you sure of your husband now?

Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet sir John. go dress him like the witch of Brentford. Mrs. Page. ( Within) What hoa, gossip Ford! Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men what they what hoa !

shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring liuen Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir Jobn. for him straight.

[Exit. (Exit Falstaff Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet ! we canEnter Mrs. Page.

not misuse him enough. Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart! who's at

We'll leave a proof by that which we will do, home beside yourself!

Wives may be merry, and yet bonest too : Mrs. Foru. Why, none but mine own people.

We do not act, that often jest and laugh: Mrs. Page. Indeed!

"Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff. Mrs. Ford. No, certainly ;--speak louder. [ Asile.

(Exit. Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have 10 Re-enter Mrs. Ford, with two Servants. body here.

Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on Brs. Ford. Why?

your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his bid you set it down, obey him: quickly, despatch. old lunes again: he so takes on yonder with my

(Exit. husband ; so rails against all married mankind; so 1 Serv. Come, come, take it up. carses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion so

2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight ever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, again.

Peer out, peer out! that any madness I ever yet be Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead. held, seemed bat tameness, civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is in now : I am glad the

Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Sir Hugh fat knight is not here.

Evans. Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him!

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have Mrs. Page. Of none bat him; and swears he was you any way then to unfool me again? --Set down the carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket, villain:--Somebody call my wife :-You, basket : protests to my husband, he is now here ; youth in a basket, come out here !--0, you pander to and hath drawn him and the rest of their company rascals! there's a knot, ging, a pack, a conspiracy, from their sport, to make another experiment of his against me: now shall the devil be shared. What! suspicion : but I am glad the knight is not bere; wife, I say! come, come forth; behold what honest now he shall see his own foolery.

clothes you send forth to bleaching. Mrs. Ford. How pear is be, mistress Page! Page. Why, this passes; Master Ford, you are not

Mrs. Page. Hard by; at street end; he will be to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned. here anon.

Éva. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad Mrs. Ford. I am undone!--the knight is here.

dog! Mrs. Page. Why, then you are utterly shamed, Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed. and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you !

Enter Mrs. Ford. - Away with him, away with him; better shame than morder.

Ford. So say I too, sir.- Come hither, mistress Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how shoula Ford ; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again? Pool to her husband !- I suspect without cause, mis

wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous Re-enser Falstaff.

tress, do I! Fal. No, I'll come no more i'the basket: may I Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my wituess, you do, if not go out, ere he come!

you suspect me in any dishonesty. Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers Pord. Well said, brazen-face hold it the door with pistols, that none should issue Come forth, sirrah. out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came.

[Pulls the Clothes out of the Basket, But what make you here?

Page. This passes ! Fal. What shall I do? I'll creep op into the Mrs. Ford. 'Are you not ashamed ? let the clothes chimney.

alone. Mrs. Ford. There they always ose to discharge Pord, I shall find you anon. their birding-pieces: creep into the kiln-hole. Eva. "Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your Pal. Where is it?

wife's clothes ! Come away.

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