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Enter Doctor Caius.
Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worCaius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys ; ship to ask. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier Pent. What news ? how does pretty mistress Anne! verd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I speak ! Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, a green-a box.
and gentle ; and one that is your friend, I can tell you Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad that by the way; I praise heaven for it. he went not in himself; if he had found the young Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou ! Shall I man, he would have been horn-mad.
(Aside not lose my suit ? Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je Quick. 'Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but m'en vais a la cour, -la grande affaire.
notwi hstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a Quick. Is it this, sir !
book, she loves you :-Have not your worship a wart Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; depeche, above your eye? quickly :-Vere is dat knave Ragby!
Fent. Yes, marry, have I ; what of that? Quick. What, John Rugby ? Sohn !
Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ;--good faith, Rug. Here, sir.
it is such another Nan :-but,
I detest, an honest maid Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack as ever broke bread :-We had an hour's talk of that Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my wart;-1 shall never laugh but in that maid's comheel to de court.
pany.-But, indeed, she is given too much to alliRug. "Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
choly and musing : but for you-Well, go to. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :-Oa's me! Fént. Well, I shall see her to-day: hold, there's Qu'ay j'oublie : 'dere is some simples in my closet, dat money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: I will not for the varld I shall leave behind.
if thou seest her before me, commend meQuick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and Quick. Will, I 7 i'faith, that we will : and I will be mad.
tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we Caius. O diable, diable ! vat is in my closet !- Vil have confidence, and of other wooers. lany! larron ! (Pulling Simple out] Rugby, my ra Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. pier.
(Exit. Quick. Good master, be content.
Quick. Farewell to your worship:Traly, an hoCaius. Verefore shall I be content-a?
nest gentleman, but Anne loves him not; for I Quick. The young man is an honest man.
know Anne's mind as well as another does :-Out Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet ? upon't! what have I forgot ?
(Erit. dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatic; bear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson
SCENE I. Before Page's House.
Enter Mistress Page, with a Letter. Quick. Peace, I pray you.
Mrs. Page. What! have I 'scaped love-letters in Caius, Peace-a your tongue :--Speak-a your tale.
the holy-day time of my beauty, and am I now a Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your subject for them? Let me see :
[Reads. maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page, for my master, in the way of marriage.
Ask me no reason why I love you ; for though love Quick. This is all, indeed, la ; but I'll ne'er put his counsellor : You are not young, no more am I ;
use reason for his precisian, he admits him not for my finger in the fire, and need not.
go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, 80 am Caius. Sir Hugh send a you l-Rugby, baillez me
I; ha! ha! then there's more sympathy: you love some paper :-Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes.
Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been sack, and so do 1; would you desire better sympathoroughly moved, you should have heard him sot the love of a soldier can sufice), that I love thee. loud, and so melancholy;--but notwithstanding, man, I'll do your master what good I can : and the very but I say, love me? By me,
I will not say, pity me, 'tis not a soldier-like phrase ; yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,-i
Thine our true knight, may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house;
By day or night, and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and
Or any kind of light, drink, make the beds, and do all myself ;
With all his might, Sim. "Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand.
For thee to fight,
John Falstaff. Quick. Are you avis'd o’that? you shall find it a What a Herod of Jewry is this 1-0 wicked, wicked great charge : and to be up early, and down late i but notwithstanding (to tell you in your ear; I would world !-one that is well nigh worn to pieces with have no words of it ;) my master himself is in love age, to show himself a young gallant! What an unwith mistress Anne Page but notwithstanding that, weighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard pick-I know Anne's mind,- that's neither here nor there ed with the devil's name) out of my conversation,
Caius. You jack'nape ; give-a dis letter to sir that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he Hugb; by gar, it is a shallenge : I vill cut his troat
hath not been thrice in my company !-What should in de park, and I vill teach a scorey jack-a-nape heaven forgive me !-Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the I say to him!--I was then frugal of my mirth :
How shall not good you tarry here :--by gar, I vill out all bis pariament for the putting down of men. two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to
I be revenged on him for revenged I will be, as trow at his dog
[Bxit Simple. sure as his guts are made of puddings. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Enter Mistress Ford. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat :- do not you tell-a Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page ! trust me, I was going me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself! ---by gar, to your house. I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. host of de Jarterre to measure our weapon :--by gar, You look very ill. I vill myself have Anne Page.
Mrs. Ford Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be show to the contrary. well: we must give folks leave to prate : What the Mrs. Page, 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. good-jer!
Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then ; yet I say, I could Caius, Rugby, come to de court vit me ;-by, gar, show you to the contrary : 0, mistress Page, give me if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out some counsel ! of my door :-Follow my heels, Rugby.
Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman! (Eseunt Caius and Rugby. Mrs. Ford. Owoman, if it were not for one triQuick. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. fting respect, I could come to such honour ! No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the boin Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do ; nour: what is it?-dispense with trifles; -what is nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. it! Fent. (Within) Who's within there, ho!
Mrs. Ford. If I would bat go to hell for an eterQuick. Who's there, I trow 1 Come near the house, bal moment, or so, I could be knighted. I pray you.
Mrs. Page. What 1-thou liest 1-Sir Alice Ford! Enter Fenton.
-These knights will hack; and so thou shouldst Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou ? not alter the article of thy gentry.
Mrs. Ford. We harn day-light:-here, read, read; Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though the --perceive how I might be kuighted. - I shall think priest o'the town commended him for a true man. the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to Ford. 'Twas a good sensible fellow : Well. make difference of mea's liking: and yet he wonld Page. How now, Mez? not swear; praised women's modesty : and gave Mrs. Page. Whither go you, George ?-Park you. such orderly and well-bebared reproof to all un Mrs. Ford. How now, sweet Frank ! why art thou comeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition melancholy? would have gone to the truth of his words : but they Ford. I melancholy ! I am not melancholy.-Get do no more adhere and keep place together, than the you home, go. hundredth psalm the tune of Green slecves. What Mrs. Ford. 'Paith, thou hast some crotchets in thy tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tons bead now.--Will you go, mistress Page ! of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I Mrs. Page. Have with you. You'll come to dinner, be revenged on him? I think the best way were to George !-Look, who comes yonder: she shall be our entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust messeager to this paltry knight. have melted him in his own grease.--Did you ever
(Aside to Mrs. Ford. bear the like?
Enter Mistress Quickly.
Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her : she'll fit it. mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin brother of thy Mrs. Page. You are come to see my daughter Anne. leiter : but let thine inherit first : for, I protest, mine
Quick. Ay, forsooth; And, I pray, how does good never shall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these
mistress Anne? letters, writ with blank space for different names
Mrs. Page. Go in with us, and see; we have an (sare more), and these are of the second edition : he hour's talk with you. will print them out of doubt: for he cares not what Exeunt Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford. and Mrs. Quickly.
Page. How now, master Ford ? he pnts icto the press, when he would put as two.
Ford. You heard what this k pave told me; did you I had rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles,
not? ere one chaste man.
Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told me ?
Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very words: what doth he think of us !
Page. Hang 'em, slaves ! I do not think the knight Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not : it makes me almost would offer it: but these that accuse him in his inready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll en
tent towards our wives, are a yoke of his discarded tertain myself like one that I am not acquainted men; very rogues, now they be out of service. withal; for, sare, unless he know some strain in me,
Ford, Were they his men! that I know not myself, he would never have board
Page. Marry, were they. ed me in this fary.
Ford. I like it never the better for that Does he Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure to lie at the Garter! keep him above deck.
Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my
this voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose batches, l'il never to sea again. Let's be revenged
to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp on him: let's appoint him a meeting; give him a show words let it lie on my head. of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with a fine
Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife ; but I would be bated delay, till he hath pawn'd lis horses to mine loath to turn them together. A man may be too contihost of the Garter.
dent: I would have nothing lie on my head : I canMrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villany not be the entixtied against him, that may not sully the chariness of our
Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Garter honesty. o, that my husband saw this letter! it comes : there is either liquor in his pate, or money in would give eternal food to his jealousy.
his purse, when ho looks so merrily.-How now,
mine host? Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my
Enter Host and Shallow. good man too : he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving bim cause; and that, I hope, is an unmea Host, How now, bully-rook ? thou'rt a gentleman : surable distance.
cavalero-justice, I say. Mrs. Pord. You are the happier woman.
Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow.-Good even, Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this and twenty, good master Page ! Master Page, will greasy kuight: come hither.
(They retire. you go with us! we have sport in hand.
Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him, bullyEnter Ford, Pistol, Page, and Nym.
rook, Pord. Well, I hope, it be not be so.
Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between sir Pist. Hope is a curtail dog in some affairs : Hugh the Welsh priest, and Caius the French doctor. Sir John affects thy wife.
Ford. Good mine host o'the Garter, a word with Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young [poor, you.
Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich and Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook? Both young and old, one with another, Ford ;
(They go aside. He loves thy gally-ma wfry; Ford, perpend.
Shal. Will you (To Page] go with us to behold it? Ford. Love my wife 1
my merry host hath had the measuring of their weaPist. With liver burning hot : prevent, or go thou, pons? and, I think, he hath appoiuted them contrary Like sir Actæon he, with Ring-wood at thy heels : places: for, believe me, I hear, the parson is no 0, odious is the name!
jester. Hurk, I will tell you what our sport shell be. Forl. What name, sir ?
Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my Pist. The horn, I say : farewell. (night : guest-cavalier ? Take heed; have open eye ; for thieves do foot by Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds do burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him, Away, sir corporal Nym.
[sing.- my name is Brook; only for a jest. Believe it, Page ; he speaks sense. Exit. Host. My hand, bally: thou shalt have egress and
Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this. regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook :
Nym. And this is true ; ( To Page) I like not the It is a merry knight. Will you go on, hearts ! humour of lying: Ho hath wrong'd me in some hu Shal. Have with you, mine host. mours; I should have borne the honoured letter to Page. I have heard, the French man hath good skill ber: but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my in his rapier. necessity. He loves your wife; there's the short ani Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more: In the long. My name is corporal Nym; I speak, and these times you stand on distance, your passes, stocI avouch. "T'is trae:--my name is Nym, and Falstaff cadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, master loves your wife.-Adien i I love not the humour of Page ; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, bread and cheese ; and there's the humour of it. with my long sword, I would have made you four Adieu.
[Exit. tall fellows skip like rats. Page. The humour of it, qaoth 'al here's a fellow Host. Here, boys, here, here ! shall we way! frights humour out of his wits.
Page. Have with you I had rather hear them Ford. I will seek out Falstaff.
scold than tight, [Exeunt Host, Shallou, ant Page. Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting Font. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so rogue.
firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my Ford. If I do find it, well.
opinion so easily : She was in his company at Page's
house; and, what they made there, I know not. Fal. But what says she to me! be brief, my good Well, I will look further into't: and I have a dis-she Mercury. guise to sound Falstaff: if I find her honest, I lose Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter ; for not my labour : if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well the which she thanks you a thousand times ; and she bestowed.
[Exit. gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence
from his house between ten and eleven. SCENE II. A Room in the Garter Inn.
Fal. Ten and eleven!
Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and Enter Falstaff and Pistol.
see the picture, she says, that you wot of;---master Fal. I will not lend thee a penny.
Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the Pist. Why, then the world's mine oyster.
sweet woman leads an ill life with him ; he's a very Which I with sword will open.
jealousy man; she leads a very frampold life with I will retort the sum in equipage.
him, good heart. Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you Fal. T'en and eleven: Woman, commend me to should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated her; I will not fail her. upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and Quick. Why, you say well! Bat I have another your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you had" looked messenger to your worship : Mistress Page hath her through the grate like a geminy of baboons. . I am hearty commendations to you too ;--and let me tell damned in hell, for swearing to gentlemen, my friends, you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, you were good soldiers, and tall fellows: and when and one (I tell you) that will not miss your morning mistress Bridget lost the handle her fan, I took't por evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er upon mine honour, thou hadst it not.
be the other and she bade me tell your worship, Pist. Didst thou not share ? hadst thou not fifteen- that her husband is seldom from home; but, she pence!
hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a woFal. Reason, you rogue, reason. Think'st thou, man so dote upon a man : surely, I think you have I'll endanger my soul gratis! At a word, bang no charms, la ; yes, in truth. more about me, I am no gibbet for you :-90-A Fal. Not I, I assure thee ; setting the attraction of short knife and a throng :--to your manor of Pickt- my good parts aside, I have no other charms. hatch, go. --You'll not bear a letter for me, you Quick. Blessing on your heart for't ! rogue ! - you stand upon your honour !-Why, thou Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do, to wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how keep the terms of any honoar precise. I, I, I myself they love me? sometimes, leaving the fear of heaven on the left Quick. That were a jest indeed !--they have not so hand, and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am little grace, I hope :--that were a trick, indeed! But fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lorch; and yet you, mistre s Page would desire you to send her your little rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain page, of all loves; her husband has a marvellous inlooks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating fection to the little page : and, truly, master Page is oaths, under the shelter of your honour ! You will an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a not do it, you ?
better life than she does; do what she will, say Pist. I do relent; What wouldst thou more of man? what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when
she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and Enter Robin
truly she deserves it: for if there be a kind woman Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your Fal. Let her approach.
page no remedy. Enter Mistress Qąickly.
ral. Why, I will.
Quick. Nay, but do so then : and, look you, he Quick. Give your worship good morrow. Fal. Good morrow, good wife.
may come and go between you both; and, in any case,
have a nay-word, that you may know one another's Quick. Not so, an't please your worship. mind, and the boy never need to understand any fal. Good maid, then.
thing: for 'tis not good that children should know Quick. I'll be sworn; as my mother was, the first any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discrehonr I was born.
tion, as they say, and know the world. Fal. I do believe the swearer: What with me? Fal. Fare thee well : commend me to them both :
Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or there's toy purse: I am yet thy debtor.-Boy, go two Pal. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouch-along with this woman. This news distracts me!
(Exeunt Quickly and Robin. safe thee the hearing.
Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers :Quick. There is one mistress Ford, sir ;-I pray, Clap on more sails ; pursue, up with your fights ; come a little nearer this ways :- I myself dwell with Give fire ; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! master doctor Caius.
(Exit. Fal. Well, on : Mistress Ford, you say,
Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack I go thy ways; I'll Quick. Your worship says very true : I pray your make more of thy old body than I have done. Will worship, come a little nearer this ways.
they yet look after thee 1' Wilt thou, after the ex. Fal. I warrant thee pobody hears ;-mine own pense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good people, mine own people.
body. I thank thee : Let them say, 'tis grossly done ; Quick. Are they so ? Heaven bless them, and make so it be fairly done, no matter. them his servants ! Fal, Well : mistress Ford ;-wbat of her!
Enter Bardolph. Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, Bard. Sir John, there's one master Brook below lord ! your worship's a wanton: Well, heaven for-would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with give you, and all of us, I pray!
you; and hath sent your worship a morning's draught Fal. Mistress Ford-come, mistress Ford.
of sack. Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it; Fal. Brook, is his name? you have brought her into such a canaries, as 'tis Bard. Ay, sir. wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the Fal. Call him in ; (Exit Bardolph) Such Brooks court lay at Windsor, could never have brought ber are welcome to me, that overflow such liquor. Ah ! to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, and ha! mistress ford and mistress Page, have I enlords, and gentlemen, with their coaches ; I warrant compass'd you I go to; via ! you, coach
after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly (all mask,) and o rushling, Re-enter Bardolph, with Ford disguised. I warrant you, in silk and gold ; and in such alli Ford. Bless you, sir. gant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best, Fal. And ya sir : would you speak with me! and the fairest, that would have won any woman's Ford. I make bold, to press with so little prepaheart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an ration upon you. eye-wink of her.-I had myself twenty angels given Fal. You're welcome ; what's your will! Give us me this morning : but I defy all angels (in any such leave, drawer,
(Exit Bardolph. sort, as they say), but in the way of honesty :-and, Fod. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; I rant you, they could never get her so much as my name is Brook. sip on a cup with the proudest of them all: and yet Pal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaintthere has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; ance of you. hut, I warrant you, all is one with her."
Ford.' Good sir John, I sue for yours : not to charge
yon; for I must let you understand, I think myself Ford. O good sir ! in better plight for a lender than you are : the which Pal. Master Brook, I say you shall. hath something embolden'd me to this anseasoned in Ford. Want no money, sir John, you shall want trusion; for they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open.
Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you Pal. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. shall want none. I shall be with her (I may tell you),
Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here trouby her own appointment; even as you came in to me, bles me; if you will help me to bear it, sir John, take ber assistant, or go-between, parted from me: 1
say, all, or half for easing me of the carriage.
I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at Pal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband, porter.
will be forth. Come you to ine at night ; you shall Ford. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the know how I speed. hearing
Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you Fal. Speak, good master Brook : I shall be glad know Ford, sir ! to be your servant.
Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar,-- I will be brief bim not :- yet I wrong him, to call him poor; they to me, though I had never so good means, as desire, for the which his wife seems to me well-favoured. I to make myself acquainted with you. I shall dis- will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's cover a thing to you, wherein I must very much iay coffer; and there's my harvest-home. open mine own imperfection : but, good sir John, as Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir; that you might you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them avoid him, if you saw him, unfolded, turn another into the register of your own; Pal. Hang him, mechanical salt-batter rogue! I that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you will stare him out of his wits; I will awe hiin with yourself know, how easy it is to be such an offender. my cudgel : it shall hang like a meteor o'er the Pal. Very well, sir ; proceed.
cuckold's horns : master Brook, thou shalt know, I Pord. There is a gentlewoman in this town, ber will predominate o'er the peasant, and thou shalt lie husband's name is Ford.
with his wife. Come to me soon at night :-Ford's a Fal. Well, sir.
knave, and I will aggravate his style ; thou, master Ford. I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, Brook, shalt know him for a knave and cuckold :bestowed much on her; followed her with a doting come to me soon at night.
(Bxit. observance; engrossed opportunities to ineet her; fee a Ford. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this! every slight occasion, that could but niggardly give My heart is ready to crack with impatience.--Who me sight of her: not only bought many presents to give says, this is improvident jealousy! My wife hath sent her, but have given largely to many, to know what to him, the hoar is fixed, the match is made. Would sbe wonld have given: briefly, I have pursued ber, any man have thought this !-See the hell of having as love hath pursued me; which hath been on the a false woman! my bed shall be abused, my coffers wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merit- ransack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not ed, either in my mind, or in my means, meed, I am only receive this villanous wrong, but stand under sure, I have received none; unless experience be a the adoption of abominab terms, and by him that jewel: that I have purchased at an infinite rate; and does me this wrong: Terms! Dames Amaimon that hath taught me to say this:
sounds well; Lucifer, well; Burbason, well; yet Love like a shadow fies, when substance love pursues; they are devils, additions, the names of fiends': but Pursuing that thai pies, and Aying what pursues.
cuckold ! wittol cuckold! the devil himself bath not
such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will Fal. Have you received no promise of satisfaction trust his
wife, he will not be jealous : I will rather at her bands?
trust a Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Ford. Never.
Welshman with my cheese, an Irishnan with my Fal. Have you importuned her to such a parpose aqua-vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling geldFord. Never.
ing, than my wife with herself; then she plots, then Fal. of what quality was your love then ! she ruminates, then she devises : and what they think
Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another man's in their hearts they may effect, they will break their ground; so that I have lost my editice, by mistaking hearts but they will effect. Heaven be praised for the place where I erected it.
my jealousy !--Eleven o'clock the hour; I will prePal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to vent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, me?
and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you hours too soon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! all. Some say, that, though she appear honest to cuckold ! cuckold ! cuckold !
(Exit. me, yet, in other places, she enlargeth her mirth so far, there is shrewd construction made of her. Now,
SCENE III. Windsor Park. sir John, here is the heart of my purpose : You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse,
Enter Caius and Rugby of great admittance, authentic in your place and per
Caius. Jack Rugby! son, generally allowed for your many warlike, court
Rug. Sir. like, and learned preparations.
Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack ! Pal. 0, sir !
Rug. "Tis past the hour, sir, that sir Hugh proFord. Believe it, for you know it :-There is mo- mised to meet. ney; spend it, spend it; spend more ; spend all I Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no have; only give me so much of your time in exchange come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come; of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he become. Ford's wife ase your art of wooing, win her to Rug. He is wise, sir : he knew your worship consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as would kill him, if he came. any.
Caius. By_gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your kill him. Take your rapier, Jack ; I vill tell you affection, that I should win what you would enjoy ! how I vill kill him. Methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposte Rug. Alas, sir, I cannot fence. rously.
Caius. Villany, take your rapier. Pord. O, understand my drift! she dwells so se Rug. Forbear; here's company. curely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page. to be looked against. Now, could I come to her Host. 'Bless thee, bally doctor, with any detection in my hand, my desires had in Shal. 'Save you, master doctor Caius. stance and argument to commend themselves; I Page. Now, good master doctor! could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her Slen. Give you good-morrow, sir. reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thonsand other Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come her defences, which now are too strongly embattled for! against me; What say you to't, sir John
Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see Pal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there ; to your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
am a gentleman, you shall, if you will enjoy Ford's distance, thy montant. Is he dead, uny Ethiopian wife.
is he dead, my Francisco ? ha, bully! What says my
Æsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder ! ha! is his urinals about his knave's costard, when I have he dead, bully Štale 1 is he dead !
good opportunities for the 'ork :-pless my soul ! Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of the
(Sings. vorld ; he is not show his face.
To shallow rivers, to whose falls Host. Thou art a Castilian king, Urinal! Hector Melodious birds sing madrigals; of Greece, my boy!
There will we make our peds of roses, Caius. I pray you, bear vitness that me bave stay And a thousand fragrant posies. six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no
To shallow come. Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.
Melodious birds sing madrigals ;curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your profes
When as I set in Pabylon,
And a thousand vagram posies. sions : is it not true, master Page ! Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a
To shallow great (ghter, though now a man of peace,
Sim. Yonder he is coming ; this way, sir Hugh. Shal, Bodykins, master Page, though I now be old, Eva. He's welcome : and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger To shallow rivers, to whose falls itches to make one : though we are justices, and
Heaven prosper the right !- What weapons is he? doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we bave some
Sim. No weapons, sir : There comes my master, salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women,
master Shallow, and another gentleman from Frog. master Page.
more, over the stile, this way. Page. "Mis true, master Shallow. Shal. It will be found so, master Page. Master it in your arms.
Eva. Pray you, give me any gown; or else keep doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace; you have showed yourself a Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. wise playsician, and sir Hugh hath shown himself a Shal. How now, master parson ! Good-morrow, wise and patient churchman : you must go with me, good sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and master doctor.
a good student from his book, and it is wonderful. Host. Pardon, guest justice :-A word, monsieur Slen. Ah, sweet Anne Page ! Muck-water.
Page. Save you, good sir Hugh! Caius. Muck-vater! vat is dat!
Eva. 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you. Host. Muck-water, in our English tongue, is va Shal. What the sword and the word ! do you lour, bully.
study them both, master parson? Caius. By gar, then I have as much inuck-vater as Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, de Englishman :-Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, this raw rheumatic day! me vill cut his ears.
Era. There is reasons and causes for it. Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, Caius. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?
master parson. Host. That is, he will make thee amends.
Eva. Fery well: what is it? Caius. By gar, me do look, he shall clapper-de Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who claw ine ; for, by gar, me vill liave it.
belike, having received wrong by some person, is at Host. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag. most odds with bis own gravity and patience, that Caius. Me tank you for dat.
ever you saw. Host. And moreover, bully,--Bat first, master Shal. I have lived fourscore years and apward; I guest, and master Page, and eke cavalero Slender, never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learngo you through the town to Frogmore.
ing, so wide of his own respect.
(Aside to them. Eva. What is he? Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Page. I think you know bim; master doctor Caius, Host. He is there : see what humour he is in the renowned French physician. and I will bring the doctor about by the fields : will Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my heart ! I it do well?
had as lief you would tell me of mess of porridge. Shal. We will do it.
Page. Why! Page, Shal, and Slen. Adieu, good master doctor. Eva. He has no more knowledge in Kibocrates
(Exeunt Page, Shallore, and Slender. and Galen,-and he is a kuave besides ; a cowardly Caius. By gar, me will kill de priest; for he ksave, as you would desires to be acquainted withal. speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.
Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight Host. Let him die ; but, first, sheath thy impa- with lim. tience; throw cold water on thy choler : go about Slen. O, sweet Anne Page ! the fields with me through Froginore ; I will bring Shal. It appears so, by his weapons :-Keep them thee where Mrs. Anne Page is, at a farm-house a asunder ;-here comes doctor Caius. feasting; and thou shalt woo her: Cry'd game, said I weil ?
Enter Host, Caius, and Ragby. Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat; by gar, I love Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de weapon. earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients. shal. So do you, good master doctor. Host. For the which, I will be thy adversary to
Host. Disarm them, and let them question ; let wards Anne Page ; said I wel!!
them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. C'aius. By gar, 'tis good ; vell said.
Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit your Host. Let us wag then.
ear : Verefore vill you not meet-a me? Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. (Exeunt. Eva. Pray you, use your patience : In good time.
Caius. By gur, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to ACT. III.
other men's humours; 1 desire you in friendship, and
I will one way or other make you amends :-I will SCENE I. A Field near Frogmore. koog your urinals about your knare's cogscomb, for
missing your meetings and appointments. Enter Sir Hugh Evans and simple.
Caius. Diable !--Jack Rugby,-mine host de Jar. Eva. I pray you now, good master Slender's serv- terre, have I not stay for bim, to kill him I have I ing-man, and friend Simple by your name, which not, at de place I did appoint ? way have you looked for master Caius, that calls Éva. As I am a Christians soal, now, look you, himself Doctor of Physic?
this is the place appointed ; I'll be judgment by Sim. Marry, sir, the city-ward, the park-ward, mine host of the Garter. every way; Old Windsor way, and every way bui Host. Peace, I say, Guallia and Caul, French and the town way.
Welsh ; soul-curer and body-curer. Eva. I most fehemently desire you, you will also Caius. Ay, dat is very good ! excellent! look that way.
Host. Peace, I say, bear mine host of the Garter. Sim. I will, sir.
Am I politic? am I subtle! am I a Machiavel! Shall Eva. 'Pless my soul! how full of cholers I am, I lose my doctor! no; he gives me the potions and and trempling of mind !-I shall be glad if he have the motions. Shall I lose my parson ! my priest! deceived me:-how melancholies I am !--I will knog my sir Hagh? no, be gives me the proverbs and the