And say 'Will't please your lordship cool your hands?'
Some one be ready with a costly suit,
And ask him what apparel he will wear;

Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
And that his lady mourns at his disease:
Persuade him that he hath been lunatic;
And when he says he is, say that he dreams,
For he is nothing but a mighty lord.

This do and do it kindly, gentle sirs:
It will be pastime passing excellent,

If it be husbanded with modesty.

60

65

First Hun. My lord, I warrant you we will play our

part,

As he shall think by our true diligence

He is no less than what we say he is.

Lord. Take him up gently and to bed with him; 70 And each one to his office when he wakes.

[Some bear out Sly. A trumpet sounds. Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds:

[Exit Servingman.

Belike, some noble gentleman that means,
Travelling some journey, to repose him here.

is, Collier MS. And when he says he's
well, Bulloch conj., transposing lines
61, 62. And when he says he's this,
Cowden Clarke conj. See note (III).
he is, say that] that he is, say
Perring conj.

67 we will we'll Rowe (ed. 2).
71 [Some bear out Sly.] Theobald.
om. Ff Q.

A trumpet sounds.] Steevens (1793).
Sound trumpets. Ff Q.

72 [Exit S.] Ex. Servant. Theobald.
om. Ff Q.

74 him] himself F3F4

Players. We thank your honour.

Lord. Do you intend to stay with me to-night?
A Player. So please your lordship to accept our duty. 80
Lord. With all my heart. This fellow I remember,

Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son:

Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well:
I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part

Was aptly fitted and naturally perform'd.

A Player. I think 'twas Soto that your honour means.
Lord. 'Tis very true: thou didst it excellent.

Well, you are come to me in happy time;
The rather for I have some sport in hand
Wherein your cunning can assist me much.
There is a lord will hear you play to-night:
But I am doubtful of
your modesties;

Lest over-eyeing of his odd behaviour,—
For yet his honour never heard a play,-
You break into some merry passion

75 SCENE III. Pope.

Re-enter...] Theobald. Enter...Ff Q. 75. 76. An't...players That] Ff Q. Please your honour, players That Pope. An it... Players that Malone. 76 That offer] That come to offer Capell. That offer humble Collier MS. 77 Enter P.] Ff Q, after line 76. Enter

85

90

95

95

5. or 6. Players. Collier MS. 80 A Player.] Edd. 2. Player. FQ. 2. Pla. F2F3F4.

85 fitted] fit Dyce ed. 2 (S. Walker conj.).

86 A Player.] Sincklo. F.Q. Sin. F2. Sim. F3F4 Play. Hanmer. 1. P. Capell. See note (IV).

And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs,
If you should smile he grows impatient.

A Player. Fear not, my lord: we can contain ourselves, Were he the veriest antic in the world.

Lord. Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery, And give them friendly welcome every one: Let them want nothing that my house affords.

100

[Exit one with the Players.

Sirrah, go you to Barthol'mew my page,
And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady:
That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber; 105
And call him 'madam,' do him obeisance.
Tell him from me, as he will win my love,
He bear himself with honourable action,
Such as he hath observed in noble ladies.
Unto their lords, by them accomplished:
Such duty to the drunkard let him do
With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy,
And say, 'What is't your honour will command,
Wherein your lady and your humble wife

May show her duty and make known her love?'
And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses,
And with declining head into his bosom,
Bid him shed tears, as being overjoy'd

To see her noble lord restored to health,

Who for this seven years hath esteemed him

98 A Player.] Plai. FF. Play. Q.

Pla. F3F4. 1. P. Capell.

99 See note (V).

101 And...one] omitted by Rowe.
103 Barthol'mew] Bartholmew Ff Q.
Bartholomew Rowe.

106 obeisance] all obeisance Pope.
108 bear] F3F4 beare F1F2. bare Q.
110 accomplished] accompanied Gould
conj.

110

115

120

112 soft low] soft-slow Malone conj.
soft-low So quoted by Malone.
113 will] doth Q.

115 love?] Rowe. loue. Ff Q.

118 overjoy'd] Rowe. ouer-ioyed Ff Q. 120 this seven] these seven Rowe (ed. 2). twice seven Theobald.

esteemed him] esteem'd himself Rowe.

No better than a poor and loathsome beggar:
And if the boy have not a woman's gift
To rain a shower of commanded tears,
An onion will do well for such a shift,
Which in a napkin being close convey'd
Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.
See this dispatch'd with all the haste thou canst:
Anon I'll give thee more instructions.

125

[Exit a Servingman.

I know the boy will well usurp the grace,

Voice, gait and action of a gentlewoman:

I long to hear him call the drunkard husband,

And how my men will stay themselves from laughter
When they do homage to this simple peasant.

I'll in to counsel them; haply my presence
May well abate the over-merry spleen
Which otherwise would grow into extremes.

130

135

[Exeunt.

SCENE II. A bedchamber in the Lord's house.

Enter aloft SLY, with Attendants; some with apparel, others with basin and ewer and other appurtenances, and Lord.

Sly. For God's sake, a pot of small ale.

First Serv. Will't please your lordship drink a cup

of

House In it a Stage, and other Appurtenances, for the Play: and, in another Part, a Bed; SLY, in a rich Night-dress, sitting on it; surrounded by Servants, bearing Apparel, Bason, Ewer, &c. a Sideboard being by. Enter, at lower End, the Lord, himself habited like a Servant. Capell.

1 Sly.] Beg. Ff Q, and elsewhere in the

scene.

2 lordship] Lord F1.

Sec. Serv. Will't please your honour taste of these

conserves?

Third Serv. What raiment will your honour wear to-day? Sly. I am Christophero Sly; call not me call not me 'honour' nor 'lordship' I ne'er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef: ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometime more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the overleather.

11

Lord. Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour! O, that a mighty man of such descent, Of such possessions and so high esteem, Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

15

Sly. What, would you make me mad? me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burton-heath, by birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What! I am not bestraught: here's

Third Serv. O, this it is that makes your lady mourn!

23

21 fourteen pence] xiiii. d. FQF2. xiv. d.

F3F4

score] sorce F2.

22 sheer] F4 sheere F,QF,F3. shear Jordan conj. Warwicksheere Collier MS.

23 What! What Ff Q. What?-Han

mer.

bestraught] distraught Steevens conj. (withdrawn).

here's-] Ff. here's Q.

24 Third Serv.]3. Man. F, QFg. 1. Man.

F3F4