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I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.

98

Sir And. Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby: your niece will not be seen; or if she be, it 's four to one she 'll none of me: the count himself here hard by woos her.

Sir To. She 'll none o' the count: she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear 't. Tut, there 's life in 't, man.

104

Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' the strangest mind i' the world; I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.

Sir To. Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight? Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters; and yet I will not compare with an old man.

111

Sir To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight? Sir And. Faith, I can cut a caper.

Sir To. And I can cut the mutton to 't.

Sir And. And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

116

Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have these gifts a curtain before 'em? are they like to take dust, like Mistress Mall's picture? why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig; I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean?

101, 102 count] Ff. Duke Rowe.
104 swear 't] swearet F1. sweare F2.
swear F3F4 swear it Theobald.
108 kickshawses] F3. kicke-chawses F1
F2. kick-shaws F4.

111 an old man] a nobleman Hudson
(Theobald conj.). an older man
Kinnear conj.

112 excellence] excellence? Staunton

(Mason conj.).

Is it

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a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.

125

Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a flame-coloured stock. Shall we set about some revels? Sir To. What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus?

Sir And. Taurus! That's sides and heart.

130

Sir To. No, sir; it is legs and thighs. Let me see thee caper: ha! higher: ha, ha! excellent!

[Exeunt.

SCENE IV. The DUKE's palace.

Enter VALENTINE, and VIOLA in man's attire.

Val. If the Duke continue these favours towards you, Cesario, you are like to be much advanced : he hath known but three days, and already you are no stranger. you Vio. You either fear his humour or my negligence, that you call in question the continuance of his love is he inconstant, sir, in his favours?

Val.
Vio.

No, believe me.

I thank
I thank you.

Here comes the count.

6

123 think] not think Rowe.
127 in a] in Warburton.

flame-coloured] Rowe (ed. 2).
dam'd colour'd Ff. damask-coloured
Knight. dun colour'd Collier MS.
damson-coloured Phelps conj. dove-
coloured Anon. conj. paned
coloured Nicholson conj.
stock] stocke FF2. stocken F3F4.
stocking Pope.

set] Rowe (ed. 2). sit Ff.
128 else?] Pope. else: Ff.
130 That's] FF4. That F1F2-
132 [Sir A. dances again. Collier (ed.
2). (dances againe) Collier MS.
SCENE IV.] SCENE V. Pope.

The Duke's palace.] The Palace.
Rowe.

6 favours?] fauours. F1.
8 count] Ff. Duke Rowe.

Duke.

Vio.

Enter DUKE, CURIO, and Attendants.

Who saw Cesario, ho?

On your attendance, my lord; here.
Duke. Stand you a while aloof. Cesario,
Thou know'st no less but all; I have unclasp'd
To thee the book even of my secret soul:
Therefore, good youth, address thy gait unto her;
Be not denied access, stand at her doors,
And tell them, there thy fixed foot shall grow
Till thou have audience.

Vio.

Sure, my noble lord,

If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow

As it is spoke, she never will admit me.

Duke. Be clamorous and leap all civil bounds Rather than make unprofited return.

Vio. Say I do speak with her, my lord, what then? Duke. O, then unfold the passion of my love, Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith: It shall become thee well to act my woes; She will attend it better in thy youth Than in a nuncio's of more grave aspect. Vio. I think not so, my lord.

Duke.

Dear lad, believe it;

For they shall yet belie thy happy years,

That say thou art a man: Diana's lip

Is not more smooth and rubious; thy small pipe
Is as the maiden's organ, shrill and sound;

And all is semblative a woman's part.

Enter...] Ff (after line 7).

Curio, and Attendants.] attended.
Capell.

10 attendance] attendants F
11 (they retire) Collier MS.

14 gait] Capell. gate Ff.

10

15

20

25

30

27 nuncio's] Nuntio's Ff. nuncio Theobald.

32 and sound] in sound Grant White.

of sound Hudson conj.

33 semblative] semblative to Keightley.

I know thy constellation is right apt

For this affair. Some four or five attend him;
All, if you will; for I myself am best
When least in company. Prosper well in this,
And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord,
To call his fortunes thine.

Vio.

I'll do my best

To woo your lady: [Aside] yet, a barful strife!
Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife.

35

40

[Exeunt.

SCENE V. OLIVIA'S house.

Enter MARIA and CLOWN.

Mar. Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse my lady will hang thee for thy absence. Clo. Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this world needs to fear no colours.

Mar. Make that good.

Clo. He shall see none to fear.

5

Mar. A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that saying was born, of 'I fear no colours.'

Clo. Where, good Mistress Mary?

10

Mar. In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.

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Clo. Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents.

14

Mar. Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent; or, to be turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you?

Clo. Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and, for turning away, let summer bear it out.

Mar. You are resolute, then?

20

Clo. Not so, neither; but I am resolved on two points. Mar. That if one break, the other will hold; or, if both break, your gaskins fall.

Clo. Apt, in good faith; very apt. Well, go thy way; if Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.

26

Mar. Peace, you rogue, no more o' that. Here comes my lady: make your excuse wisely, you were best.

[Exit.

Clo. Wit, an 't be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft prove fools; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man for what says Quinapalus? Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.'

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