And more delays attend thee- X IN LAUDEM VIRI EGREGII P. PÅTTEN. Μι [From the fame.] USE of eve and Mufe of matin, Tune the lyre to PETER PATTEN; Sweet is fugar, foft is fatin, Soft and fweet is PETER PATTEN. Ye're nincompoops to PETER PATTEN. Though DENT be thin, yet plump is PATTEN, NOVELTIES IN POLITICO-NATURAL HISTORY, ACCOUNT OF THE PLACEHUNTI LOCUST AND GRUMBLERILIA CANKER-WORM, LATELY DISCOVERED IN LONDON AND SEVERAL PARTS OF THE COUNTRY. Read before the RISIBLE SOCIETY, by the learned Dr. Stripmaski Flaggilanti, April 1st, 1803. IT [From the Suffex Chronicle.] T is not pretended, that any new Species of vermin has been here difcovered; but it is prefumed that the varieties of both forts, in genus, fpots, inftinct, policy, and feveral other points, will render the follow ing sketch acceptable to the porte-feuilles of the curious in fuch animals. The PLACEHUNTI is the larger infect of the two; it is not always visible to the naked eye, but is eafily difcoverable by adepts in the closeft receffes: it affumes many difguifes and fhapes, but its commoneft form is that of the Locuft Patriotica,, when you may hear at a great distance its miniature bellow resembling that of a Bull, from which tones it holds fo much maftery over the understanding, or rather over the ears of John Bull!-They fometimes herd together in great and fometimes fmaller numbers--the vicinity of the Thames at Westminster is known to breed them particularly; and in an old building, formerly a chapel dedicated to St. Stephen, they are to be found in fwarms. A large manfion in Downing Street, although undergoing frequent cleanfing and repairs by changing tenants, is always infefted by this fpecies: another building at Whitehall, with two fhips on the entrance porticos, has been of late particularly affailed by the teeth of the Placehunti; but the erudite and learned Dr. Vincent, who inhabits the building, has found an effectual way of brushing them off in a moment, by the peculiar properties of an old Spanish Flag, which being turned. to their eyes, they all drop off and are fwept away directly. There is a method of taming them for a time by pampering their infatiable appetites with fhining counters, and bits of thin paper; parchment with large Jeals affixed, is a particular object of their fancy, as well as blue, green, and red broad Ribands, after which they are always nibbling; but they are moft ungrateful vermin, even to their feeders, and no longer abstain from mifchief than whilft their ungracious maws are kept crammed with the above ftrange articles of fuftenance. There is a breed called the Buckingham Devourer, which it is totally impoffible to tame for any length of time, not even a Royal Feeder being fufficient fufficient to furnish food for their infatiable appetitesthey have large wings, and the moment they take offence they fly off with a great noife, making a kind of enticing and promising fostering cluck to the smaller vermin to follow them. The GRUMBLERILIA Canker-worm has been long known in this country, but has of late become almost alarmingly multiplied; indeed all Europe has felt the fame increafe, which it has hitherto puzzled naturalifts to account for-it is fo varied an animal, that no general defcription can reach it. It is found in all places, fometimes burrowing in the most coftly modern buildings, as well as in roof-room cottages, and it is fometimes to be heard (for it always makes a noife) even in the founding board of a pulpit. Thefe animals differ in venom exceedingly: there is a fpecies called after a very celebrated breeder, the Painanian, the poifon of which is almoft incurable, as well from its fubtlety as its contagion: the true British fpecies is very harmless, and is reckoned an excellent ftomachic when applied to moderately, after too much repletion of beef and ftrong ale. There was a flight of thefe animals, which in the year 1797 lighted upon our men of war at the Nore, and which might have proved fatal to the main-timber but for the great fkill and science of one Doctor Howe, who radically effected the cure with a very finall preparation of wrought hemp. They are not known to propagate in our camps or barracks, although fome wicked perfons have more than once carried thither the eggs of the infects.It is a vermin which infefts the rich as well as the poor, but breeds particularly in the habits of fpendthrifts, proflìgates, and bad livers. Sobernefs and religious punctuality are fovereign antidotes against the contagion. The Grumblerilia, like every part of creation, has alfo its appropriate and wife ufe, as the noife of this animal is fuppofed to be an infallible and long-tried fpecific against againft the Morbus Ariftocratia, which dangerous and putrid difeafe is often frightened away by the found of the Grumblerilia, and is always greatly kept under by it. It forely infefts farm-houfes, after good and plentiful harvests, and has lately fhewn itfelf in malt-houfes and breweries.-There is a defcription of people how-. ever, who even thrive by its bite, and become plump about the pocket-joints-thefe are a particular fet of Editors and News-mongers in London, who keep factories of thefe infects, Spinning continually, and find customers for the noxious and poisonous webs, at fixpence per Paper full, notwithstanding the dreadful confequences which enfue to the filly buyers, as the inflammation enters at the eyes, and foon fpreads to every part of the frame, giving reftlefs nights and uneafy days, often driving the patient to a state of infanity, and ending by death, under various fymptoms; fometimes the gibbet-convulfion clofes the paroxyfm, and not unufually the razor hemorrhage or the piftol lock jaw! NAVAL GAZE-AT EXTRAORDINARY. [From the Portfmouth Telegraph.] DISPATCHES were last week received by Captain Serjeant, of the Atarms bomb-ketch, from Rearadmiral Report, dated St. Stephen's Bay, Wednesday, May 4, containing the following account of the action fought that evening in the Naval-abufe Paffage, by Admiral Conftitution againft fome roving cruifers and corfairs of the Republics of Wranglia and Placehunti : At about five P. M. the headmoft of the enemy's Thips was perceived from the maft-head of the Treasury, a first-rate, to bear down upon us, with a Debate pendant flying: we therefore prepared for action, and made fignal to lie to, and receive them in order of battle. As they approached we made out that they confifted confifted of flight built veffels, very poorly manned, befides being short of ammunition :-the Mildmay first bore down, and fired her broadfide at the St. Vincent, whofe commander was above coming into action with fuch a foe; the balls (which were accufation five pounders only) paffed through the rigging and just brushed the "Patent Blocks." The Markham, a fine ftout frigate, of the Admiral's fupporting fquadron, inftantly came along-fide of the Mildmay, and then poured a ftrong and fteady fire of reafon chain foot and demonftration fwivels-fhewing at one blow the "effective force" of British naval tactics.-The Pole next came up, and firing one well-directed broadfide at the Mildmay, paffed on; fhe was immediately followed by the Addington, a fine new ship of the line, the chefd'œuvre of the Exchequer flips, who directly boarded the Mildmay, with a great number of "prime feamen." At this period of the action, the enemy's fhip the Canning crowded all her fail to the affiftance of the Mildmay; the Canning is a fhowy 5th rate, formerly belonging to us, but parted from the grand fleet in the gale, when the Treafury, Admiral Pitt, broke from her moorings and loft her anchor; the afterwards kept hovering in fight, but in the engagement off the rocks of Amiens, the was towed away finally by the enemy's fire-fhip the Buckingham-The Canning is but a flight veffel, being built by an Irish Merchant at the Eton yard (at the time the Pitt was on the stocks) exprefsly for the fervice of Government; fhe was lately employed to repeat fignals, but making fome unlucky miftakes, her new Nation talks of laying her up in ordinary; although the makes a good appearance when her palaver flags are flying-it is obferved that her metal does but little execution, her upper ports being chiefly filled with painted wind-guns! Upon the prefent occafion, her quibble carronades from the main-top, after popping, fome❝ Royal Mejage" fhot, were foon filenced |