LVIII.

A MILITARY ANECDOTE.

A YOUNG Swiss recruit, when his regimentals were making, had procured a round iron plate, bordered with holes, which he desired the taylor to fasten on the inside of his coat, above his left breast, to prevent his being shot through the heart. The taylor, being a humorous fellow, fastened it in the seat of his breeches. The clothes being scarce on his back, when he was ordered to march into the field; he had no opportunity to get this aukward mistake rectified, before he found himself engaged in battle. Being obliged to flee before the enemy, on endeavouring to get over a thorn hedge in his way, he unfortunately stuck fast till he was overtaken by a foe, who, on his coming up, gave him a thrust in the breech with his bayonet. The design, it is evident, was not friendly; but it luckily hit on the iron plate, and pushed the young soldier clear out of the hedge.-This favorable circumstance made the Swiss honestly confess, that the taylor had more sense than himself, and knew better where his heart lay.

LIX.

ANECDOTE OF A PRISONER.

A PRISONER in the Fleet, lately sent to his creditor, to let him know that he had a proposal to make, which he believed would be for their mutual bene

از خوان احسان تو ریزه میخورم و از انعام عام تو زندگانی بسر میبرم ندانم که تا دم واپسین چه قدر نعمت تو خواهم خورد و چندان منت خواهم برد و زریکه بر ذمه خود دارم علاوه بران است درینصورت امیدوارم که بنده را از زندان آزاد کنی و منجمله راتبه که هر هفته هفت دینار مقرر است هفت درم بمن بخشی وما بقى بزر اصل وضع کنی تاذکر جمیلت در جریده ایام رقم کنند و بخلق کریمت مثل زنند غریم بعد تامل بسیار و تفکر بیشمار سر برآورد و آن زحمت کشیده و محنت چشیده را رهائی داد و تمنایش برآورد *

۶۰

قصه متفرقه

ابلهی مال فراوان یافت و در خیال خام خود چنان تصور کرد که زیاده از شصت سال نخواهم زیست پس همان بهتر که این نقد خود تصرف کنم که بعد از من رایگان خواهند بود و من درگور تاسف خواهم خورد الحاصل در چند مایه فرصت آن نقد را برباد داد و عمرش از شصت درگذشت کوچه بکوچه گدائی اختیار کرد و ميگفت اي نیک مردان مال من بسبب خام خیال از کف

رفت برای خدا چیزی بمن دهید و دست من گیرید

fit. Accordingly, the creditor calling on him to hear it," I have been thinking," said he, "that it is a very idle thing for me to lie here, and put you to the expence of seven groats a week. My being so chargeable to you, has given me great uneasiness ; and it is impossible to say what it may cost you in the end. Therefore, what I would propose is this: You shall let me out of prison: and, instead of seven groats, you shall allow me only eighteenpence a week, and the other ten-pence shall wards the discharge of the debt."

go to.

LX.

AN ANECDOTE.

A PERSON who had just two thousand a year, being unwilling to leave any thing to his heirs, resolved to spend not only the annual income, but also the principal. He accordingly made a calculation that he could not possibly live longer than fourscore years; but, happening to survive that period, he found himself reduced to beggary during the last half dozen years of his life, and actually begged charity from door to door, whining out" Pray, give something to a poor man, who has lived longer than he expected."

پیری متوطن ملك ذيج كه امام قوم خود بود درهندوستان آمد و شیشه شراب چيني بطريق ره آورد پیش شاه هند برد شاه بسیار خوش شد و خواست که عوض آن بجا آورد پس گروهی از رعایا در مصاف کشید و پیر را گفت که با اینها زور بازوی خود بیازمای و جوهر ذاتی خود آشکارا کن پیر هرچند عذر ضعف و ناتوانی درمیان آورد موافق رای ملک نیفتاد ناچار روبميدان نهاد در یک چشم زدن از کشته پشته ساخت و میدان خالی کرد دیگر کسی را یارای مقابلهاش نماند و بقیة السيف رو بفرار نهادند چون نزد ملك آمد عذرها خواست و برجسارت خود نادم گشت ملك بر دست و بازوی او آفرین کرد و از دست برد او عجب ماند و گفت مژد دست رنج عزیزان هنوز اندکی از بسیاری و مشقی از خرواری توان دانست ما را از قتل عام چندان لحاظی نیست که از آسیب بازوي عزيزان پیر زبان ثنا بکشود و زمین خدمت ببوسید و بدر رفت *

کوری بامدادان برسر راهی استاده بود اعوری در انجا گذر کرد

و با او دو چار شد گفت ای عزیز چرا استاده گفت تا یکی از

LXI.

ANECDOTE OF A DUTCH CLERGYMAN.

A DUTCH clergyman having made a present of a bottle of gin to an Indian Prince, the latter, in order that he might shew his gratitude, and do honour to his benefactor, ordered a battle to be fought by his subjects, so that the earth was soon covered with wounded or dying people, and with dead bodies. Notwithstanding the prayers and entreaties of the clergyman, the combat continued for some time. "These are my subjects," said the Prince; "the loss of them is of very little importance; and I am exceedingly happy in making this small sacrifice, as a proof of the esteem which I entertain for you."

LXII.

A BON MOT.

A MAN who had but one eye,met early in the morning a person who had a crooked back: "Friend," said he, " you are loaded betimes."" True," replied the other, "it must be early, indeed; for I see you have got but one of your windows open."