Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eye. Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight. Ant. S. As good to wink, sweet love, as look on Luc. Why call you me love? call my sister so. Luc. Ant. S. That's my sister. No; It is thyself, mine own self's better part; Luc. O, soft, sir, hold you still; I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will. [Exit Luciana. Enter, from the house of Antipholus of Ephesus, Dromio of Syracuse. Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where runn'st thou so fast? Dro. S. Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? am I myself? Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself. Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself. Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides thyself? Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me. Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me. Ant. S. What is she? sir Dro. S. A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, reverence: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage. Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage? Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world. Ant. S. What complexion is she of? Dro. S. Swart,2 like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept; For why? she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend. Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it. Ant. S. What's her name? Dro. S. Nell, sir ;-but her name and three quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip. Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth? Dro. S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her. Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland? Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs. Ant. S. Where Scotland? Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness; hard, in the palm of the hand. Ant. S. Where France? Dro. S. In her forehead; arm'd and reverted, making war against her hair. Ant. S. Where England? Dro. S. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them: but I guess it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. Ant. S. Where Spain? Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot in her breath. Ant. S. Where America, the Indies? Dro. S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellish'd with rubics, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole armadas of carracks to be ballast at her nose. Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? Dro. S. O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me; call'd me Dromio; swore, I was assur'd' to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch: and, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transform'd me to a curtail-dog, and made me turn i'the wheel.' Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road; [Exit. Ant. S. There's none but witches do inhabit here; Ant. S. Made it for me, sir? I bespoke it not. Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have: Go home with it, and please your wife withal; Ant. S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now; ACT IV. [Exit. SCENE I.-The same. Enter a Merchant, Angelo, and an Officer. Mer. You know, since Pentecost the sum is due, To Persia, and want guilders' for my voyage: Or I'll attach you by this officer. Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her yourself? Ant. E. No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough. Ang. Well, sir, I will: Have you the chain about you? Ant. E. An if I have not, sir, I hope you have; Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman, Come, where's the chain? I pray you let me see it. Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you, If not, I'll leave him to the officer. Is growing to me by Antipholus: And, in the instant that I met with you, I shall receive the money for the same: Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, and Dromio of Off. That labour may you save; see where he comes. Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow you: I promised your presence, and the chain; Ant. E. I answer you! What should I answer you? Ang. The money, that you owe me for the chain. Ant. E. I owe you none, till I receive the chain. Ang. You know, I gave it you half an hour since. Ant. E. You gave me none; you wrong me much to say so. Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it: Ang. This touches me in reputation :-- Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never had' Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st. Ang. Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer; would not spare my brother in this case, If he should scorn me so apparently. Off. I do arrest you, sir; you hear the suit. Ant. E. I do obey thee, till I give thee bail:But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear As all the metal in your shop will answer. Ang. Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus, T'o your notorious shame, I doubt it not. Enter Dromio of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum, That stays but till her owner comes aboard, And then, sir, bears away: our fraughtage, sir, I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitæ. The ship is in her trim; the merry wind Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all, But for their owner, master, and yourself. Ant. E. How now? a madman! Why thou peevish' sheep, What ship of Epidamnum stays for me? Dro. S. A ship you sent me to, to hire wastage. (4) Freight, cargo. (5) Silly, (6) Carriage. Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a One, whose hard heart is button'd up with steel; And told thee to what purpose and what end. Dro. S. You sent me, sir, for a rope's end as A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that coun soon: You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark. Ant. E. I will debate this matter at more leisure, [Exeunt Mer. Ang. Off. and Ant. E. Luciana. Adr. Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee sc? Might'st thou perceive austerely in his eye Look'd he or red, or pale; or sad, or merrily? Luc. First, he denied you had in him no right. Luc. Then swore he, that he was a stranger here. Luc. Then pleaded I for you. Luc. With words, that in an honest suit might move. First he did praise my beauty; then, my speech. Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one? Adr. Ah! but I think him better than I say, curse. Enter Dromio of Syracuse. termands The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands; A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry-foot well; One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls to hell. Adr. Why, man, what is the matter? Dro. S. I do not know the matter: he is 'rested on the case. Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me, at whose suit. well; But he's in a suit of buff, which 'rested him, that can I tell : Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the mo- Adr. Go fetch it, sister.-This I wonder at, Dro. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time, that I were Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth As if I were their well-acquainted friend; Dro. S. Here, go; the desk, the purse; sweet And, therewithal, took measure of my body. now, make haste. Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath? (1) An allusion to the redness of the northern (3) Marked by nature with deformity. Sure, these are but imaginary wiles, Enter Dromio of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for: What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparell'd? (5) The officers in those days were clad in buff, which is also a cant expression for a man's skin. (6) Hell was the cant term for prison. (7) i. e. Bond. (8) Fanciful conception. Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's-skin that was kill'd for the prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. Ant. Š. I understand thee not. Dro. S. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them: he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace, than a morris-pike. Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer? Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band: one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God give you good rest. Dro. S. Fly pride, says the peacock: Mistress, Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone? Ant. E. Fear me not, man, I will not break away; Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-night; To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for. and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to My wife is in a wayward mood to-day; tarry for the hoy, Delay: Here are the angels that And will not lightly trust the messenger, you sent for, to deliver you. That I should be attach'd in Ephesus: Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I ; And here we wander in illusions; Some blessed power deliver us from hence! Enter a Courtezan. Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus. Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me Dro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan? I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.- Ant. E. But where's the money? Dro. E. Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope. Dro. E. To a rope's end, sir; and to that end Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; | and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God am I return'd. damn me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written, they appear to men you. like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her. Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir. Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here. Dro. S. Master, if you do expect spoon-meat, bespeak a long spoon. Ant. S. Why, Dromio? Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, that must eat with the devil. Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress : Ant. E. And to that end, sir, I will welcome [Beating him. Off. Good sir, be patient. Dro. E. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity. Of. Good now, hold thy tongue. Dro. E. Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands. Ant. E. Thou whoreson, senseless villain! Dro. E. I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows. Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass. Dro. E. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have serv'd him from the hour of nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service, but blows: when I am cold, at he heats me with beating: when I am warm, he cools me with beating: I am waked with it, when I sleep; raised with it, when I sit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home; welcomed home with it, when I return nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door. Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis'd; A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, A nut, a cherry-stone: but she, more covetous, Master, be wise; and if you give it her, The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it. let us go. Enter Adriana, Luciana, and the Courtezan, with Ant. E. Come, go along; my wife is coming (1) Correct them all. Dro. E. Mistress, respice finem, end; or rather the prophecy, like the ware the rope's end. respect your I know it by their pale and deadly looks: parrot, Be- They must be bound, and laid in some dark room. Ant. E. Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth [Beats him. Cour. How say you now? is not your husband mad? Ant. E. Wilt thou still talk? Adr. His incivility confirms no less.Good doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer; Establish him in his true sense again, And I will please you what you will demand. Luc. Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks! Cour. Mark, how he trembles in his ecstasy! Pinch. Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse. Ant. E. There is my hand, and let it feel your ear. Pinch. I charge thee, Satan, hous'd within this man, To yield possession to my holy prayers, Ant. E. Peace, doting wizard, peace; I am not mad. Adr. O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul! Ant. E. You minion you, are these your customers? Did this companion' with a saffron face Adr. O, husband, God doth know, you din'd at home, Where 'would you had remain'd until this time, Free from these slanders, and this open shame! Ant. E. I din'd at home! Thou villain, what sav'st thou ? Dro. E. Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home. Ant. E. Were not my doors lock'd up, and I shut out? Dro. E. Perdy, your doors were lock'd, and you shut out. 3 Ant. E. And did not she herself revile me there? Dro. E. Sans fable, she herself revil'd you there. Ant. E. Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me? Dro. E. Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you. Ant. E. And did not I in rage depart from thence? Dro. E. In verity you did;-my bones bear witness, That since have felt the vigour of his rage. Ade. Is't good to sooth him in these contraries? Pinch. It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein, And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy. Ant. E. Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest inc. Adr. Alas, I sent you money to redeem you, By Dromio here, who came in haste for it. Dro. E. Money by me? heart and good-will you might, But, surely, master, not a rag of money. to-day, And why dost thou deny the bag of gold? Adr. I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth. Dro. E. And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold; But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out. Adr. Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both. Ant. E. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all; And art confederate with a damned pack, To make a loathsome abject scorn of me: But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes, That would behold in me this shameful sport. [Pinch and his assistants bind Ant. and Dro. Adr. O, bind him, bind him, let him not come not. Cour. When as your husband, all in rage, to-day Came to my house, and took away my ring, (The ring I saw upon his finger now,) Ant. E. Went'st not thou to her for a purse of Straight after, did I meet him with a chain. ducats? Adr. It may be so, but I did never see it :Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is, I long to know the truth hereof at large. Enter Antipholus of Syracuse, with his rapier drawn, and Dromio of Syracuse. Luc. God, for thy mercy! they are loose again. Adr. And come with naked swords; let's call more help, (5) Foolish. (6) Unhappy for unlucky, i. e. mischievous. |