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5. A Computation of the Duration of the Sun, and how long it will last before it be burned out.

6. A Method to apply the Force arising from the immense Velocity of Light to mechanical Purposes.

7. An Answer to the Question of a curious Gentleman : How long a New Star was lighted up before its Appearance to the Inhabitants of our Earth? To which is subjoined a Calculation, how much the Inhabitants of the Moon eat for Supper, considering that they pass a night equal to fifteen of our natural days.

8. A Demonstration of the natural Dominion of the Inhabitants of the Earth over those of the Moon, if ever an Intercourse should be opened between them. With a Proposal of a Partition Treaty, among the earthly Potentates, in case of such a Discovery.

9. Tide-Tables for a Comet, that is to approximate towards the Earth.

10. The Number of the Inhabitants of London determined by the Reports of the Gold-finders, and the Tonnage of their Carriages ; with Allowance for the extraordinary Quantity of the Ingesta and Egesta of the People of England, and a Deduction of what is left under dead Walls and dry Ditches.

It will from hence be evident, how much all his studies were directed to the universal benefit of mankind. Numerous have been his projects to this end, of which Two alone will be sufficient to show the amazing grandeur of his genius. The first was a proposal, by a general contribution of all Princes, to pierce the first crust or Nucleus of this our Earth, quite through, to the next concentrical sphere. The advantage he proposed from it was, to find the Parallax of the Fixt Stars ; but chiefly to refute Şir Isaac Newton's Theory of Gravity, and Mr. Halley's of the Variations. The second was, to build Two Poles to the Meridian, with immense light-houses on the top of them; to supply the defect of nature, and to make the longitude as easy to be calculated as the latitude. Both these he could not but think very practicable, by the power of all the potentates of the world.

May we presume after these to mention, how he descended from the sublime to the beneficial parts of knowledge, and particularly his extraordinary practice of Physick. From the age, complexion, or weight of the person given, he contrived to prescribe at a distance, as well as at a patient's bed-side. He taught the way to many modern physicians, to cure their patients by Intuition, and to others, to cure without looking on them at all. He projected a menstruum to dissolve the stone, made of Dr. Woodward's Universal Deluge-water. His was also the device to relieve consumptive or asthmatic persons, by bringing fresh air out of the country to town, by pipes of the nature of the recipients of air-pumps: and to introduce the native air of a man's country into any other in which he should travel, with a seasonable intromission of such steams as were most familiar to him ; to the inexpressible comfort of many Scotsmen, Laplanders, and white bears.

In Physiognomy, his penetration is such, that from the Picture only of any person, he can write his Life ; and from the features of the parents, draw the portrait of any child that is to be born.

Nor hath he been so enrapt in these studies, as to neglect the polite arts of painting, architecture, mu-, sick, poetry, etc. It was he that gave the first hint to our modern Painters, to improve the Likeness of their portraits by the use of such Colours as would faithfully and constantly accompany the Life, not only in its present state, but in all its alterations, decays, age, and death itself.

In Architecture, he builds not with so much regard to present symmetry or conveniency; as with a thought well worthy a true lover of antiquity, to wit, the noble

effect the building will have to posterity, when it shall" fall and become a ruin...

As to Musick, I think Heidegger has not the face to deny that he has been much beholden to his scores.

In Poetry, he hath appeared under a hundred dif. ferent names, of which we may one day give a catalogue.

In Politicks, his writings are of a peculiar cast, for the most part ironical, and the drift of them often so delicate and refined as to be mistaken by the vulgar. He once went so far, as to write a persuasive to people to eat their own children, which was so little under. stood as to be taken in ill part". He has often writ. ten against liberty in the name of Freeman and Algernon Sidney, in vindication of the measures of Spain under that of Raleigh, and in praise of Corruption under those of Cato and Publicola.

It is true, that at his last departure from England, in the reign of Queen Anne, apprehending lest any of these might be perverted to the scandal of the weak, or encouragement of the flagitious, he cast them all, without mercy, into a bog-house near St. James's. Some however have been with great diligence recovered, and fished up with a hook and line, by the ministerial writers, which make at present the great ornament of their works.

Whatever he judged beneficial to mankind, he constantly communicated (not only during his stay among us, but ever since his absence) by some method or other, in which ostentation had no part. With what incredible modesty he concealed himself is known to numbers of those to whom he addressed sometimes Epistles, sometimes Hints, sometimes whole Treatises, Advices to Friends, Projects to First Ministers, Letters to Members of Parliament, Accounts to the Royal Society, and innumerable others.

* Swift's Ironical tract on that subject.

All these will be vindicated to the true author, in the course of these memoirs. I may venture to say they cannot be unacceptable to any, but to those, who will appear too much concerned as Plagiaries to be admitted as Judges. Wherefore we warn the public, to take particular notice of all such as manifest any indecent passion at the appearance of this work, as persons most certainly involved in the guilt.

THE END OF THE FIRST BOOK.

MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS

ΠΕΡΙ ΒΑΘΟΥΣ :

OR, OF THE ART OF

SINKING IN POETRY.

WRITTEN IN THE YEAR MDCCXXVII.

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