66 "Courteous stranger, whoever thou art, I embrace thee as my best friend; for either the stars and 66 my art are deceitful, or the destined time is come "which is to manifest Martinus Scriblerus to the world, and thou the person chosen by fate for this task. What thou seest in me is a body exhausted by the labours of the mind. I have found in Dame "Nature not indeed an unkind, but a very coy "mistress watchful nights, anxious days, slender 66 meals, and endless labours, must be the lot of all "who pursue her, through her labyrinths and meanders. My first vital air I drew in this island (a "soil fruitful of philosophers), but my complexion "is become adust, and my body arid, by visiting "lands (as the poet has it) alio sub sole calentes. I "have, through my whole life, passed under several "disguises and unknown names, to screen myself "from the envy and malice which mankind express "against those who are possessed of the Arcanum 66 Magnum. But at present I am forced to take 66 sanctuary in the British court, to avoid the re"venge of a cruel Spaniard, who has pursued me "almost through the whole terraqueous globe. Being "about four years ago in the city of Madrid in quest "of natural knowledge, I was informed of a lady "who was marked with a pomegranate upon the "inside of her right thigh, which blossomed, and, as it were, seemed to ripen in the due season. "Forthwith was I possessed with an insatiable curio"sity to view this wonderful phenomenon. I felt "the ardour of my passion increase as the season "advanced, till, in the month of July, I could no longer contain. I brib'd her duenna, was admitted “to the bath, saw her undress'd, and the wonder displayed. This was soon after discovered by the "husband, who finding some letters I had written to "the duenna, containing expressions of a doubtful "meaning, suspected me of a crime most alien from "the purity of my thoughts. Incontinently I left "Madrid by the advice of friends, have been pur❝sued, dogged, and way-laid through several na❝tions, and even now scarce think myself secure "within the sacred walls of this' palace. It has been "my good fortune to have seen all the grand phenomena of nature, excepting an earthquake, which "I waited for in Naples three years in vain; and now by means of some British ship (whose colours no Spaniard dare approach) I impatiently expect a safe passage to Jamaica, for that benefit. To "thee, my friend, whom fate has marked for my "historiographer, I leave these my commentaries, "and others of my works. No more -be faithful "and impartial." He soon after performed his promise, and left me the commentaries, giving me also further lights by many conferences; when he was unfortunately snatched away (as I before related) by the jealousy of the Queen's ministry. Though I was thus to my eternal grief deprived of his conversation, he for some years continued his correspondence, and communicated to me many of his projects for the benefit of mankind. He sent me some of his writings, and recommended to my care the recovery of others, straggling about the world, and assumed by other men. The last time I heard from him was on occasion of his strictures on the Dunciad: since when, several years being elapsed, I have reason to believe this excellent person is either dead, or carried by his vehement thirst of knowledge into some remote, or perhaps undiscovered region of the world. In either case, I think it a debt no longer to be delayed, to reveal what I know of this prodigy of science, and to give the history of his life, and of his extensive merits to mankind; in which I dare promise the reader, that whenever he begins to think any one chapter dull, the style will be immediately changed in the next. (7)` MEMOIRS OF MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS. BOOK I. CHAP. I. OF THE PARENTAGE AND FAMILY OF SCRIBLERUS, HOW HE WAS BEGOT, WHAT CARE WAS TAKEN OF HIM BEFORE HE WAS BORN, AND WHAT PRODIGIES ATTENDED HIS BIRTH. IN the city of Munster in Germany, lived a grave and learned gentleman, by profession an antiquary; who, among all his invaluable curiosities, esteemed none more highly, than a skin of the true Pergamenian parchment, which hung at the upper end of his hall. On this was curiously traced the Memoirs] Mr. Pope, Dr. Arbuthnot, and Dr. Swift, in conjunction, formed the project of a satire on the abuses of human learning; and to make it the better received, proposed to execute it in the manner of Cervantes (the original author of this species of satire), under a continued narrative of feigned adventures. They had observed that those abuses still kept their ground against all that the ablest and gravest authors could say to discredit them; they concluded therefore, the force of ridicule was wanting to quicken their disgrace; and ridicule was here in its place, when the abuses had been already detected by sober reasoning; and truth in no danger to suffer by the premature use of so powerful an instrument. But the separation of our author and his friends, which soon after happened, with the death of one, and the infirmities of the other, put a final period to their designs, when they had only drawn out an imperfect essay towards it, under the title of The First Book of the Memoirs of Scriblerus. ancient pedigree of the Scribleri, with all their alliances and collateral relations, (among which were reckoned Albertus Magnus, Paracelsus Bombastus, and the famous Scaligers, in old time Princes of Verona,) and deduced even from the times of the elder Pliny to Cornelius Scriblerus: for such was the name of this venerable personage; whose glory it was, that, by the singular virtue of the women, not one had a head of a different cast from his family. His wife was a lady of singular beauty, whom not for that reason only he espoused, but because she was undoubted daughter either of the great Scriverius, or of Gasper Barthius. It happened on a time, the said Gasper made a visit to Scriverius at Harlem, taking with him a comely lady of his acquaintance, who was skilful in the Greek tongue, of whom the learned Scriverius became so enamoured, as to inebriate his friend, and be familiar with his mistress. I am not ignorant of what Columesius affirms, that the learned Barthius was not so overtaken, but he perceived it; and in revenge suffered this unfortunate gentlewoman to be drowned in the Rhine at her return. But Mrs. Scriblerus (the issue of that amour) was a living proof of the falsehood of this report. Dr. Cornelius was farther induced to his marriage, from the certain information that the aforesaid lady, the mother of his wife, was related to Cardan on the father's side, and to Aldrovandus on the mother's. Besides which, her ancestors had been professors of physic, astrology, or chemistry, in German universities, from generation to generation. With this fair gentlewoman had our Doctor lived in a comfortable union for about ten years: but this our sober and orderly pair, without any natural infirmity, and with a constant and frequent compliance to a Columesius relates this from Isaac Vossius, in his Opuscul. p. 102. b the chief duty of conjugal life, were yet unhappy, in that Heaven had not blessed them with any issue. This was the utmost grief to the good man; especially considering what exact precautions and methods he had used to procure that blessing; for he never had cohabitation with his spouse, but he pondered on the rules of the ancients, for the generation of children of wit. He ordered his diet according to the prescription of Galen, confining himself and his wife for almost the whole first year to goat's milk and honey. It unfortunately befel her, when she was about four months gone with child, to long for somewhat, which that author inveighs against as prejudicial to the understanding of the infant. This her husband thought fit to deny her, affirming it was better to be childless, than to become the parent of a fool. His wife miscarried; but as the abortion proved only a female fœtus, he comforted himself, that had it arrived to perfection, it would not have answered his account; his heart being wholly fixed upon the learned sex. However he disdained not to treasure up the embryo in a phial, among the curiosities of his family. Having discovered that Galen's prescription could not determine the sex, he forthwith betook himself to Aristotle. Accordingly he withheld the nuptial embrace when the wind was in any point of the south h; this author asserting that the grossness and moisture of the southerly winds occasion the procreation of females, and not of males. But he redoubled his diligence when the wind was at west, a wind on which that great philosopher bestowed the encomiums of Fatner of the Earth, Breath of the Elysian Fields, and other glorious elogies. For our learned man was clearly of opinion, that the semina out of which b Galen, Lib. de Cibis boni et mali succi, cap. 3- |