Sc. II

ACT III TRA. That by degrees we mean to look into,
And watch our vantage in this business :
We'll over-reach the graybeard, Gremio,
The narrow1-prying father, Minola,
The quaint musician, amorous Licio;
All for my master's sake, Lucentio.

Enter GREMIO.

Signior Gremio, came you from the Church?
GRE. As willingly as e'er I came from school.
TRA. And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?
GRE, A bridegroom say you? 'tis a groom indeed,

A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.
TRA. Curster than she? why, 'tis impossible.
GRE. Why, he's a Devil, a Devil, a very Fiend.
TRA. Why, she's a Devil, a Devil, the Devil's dam.
GRE. Tut, she's a lamb, a dove, a fool to him!
I'll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest
Should ask if Katharine should be his wife,
Ay, by gogs-wouns, quoth he; and swore so loud,
That, all amaz'd, the priest let fall the book;
And, as he stoop'd again to take it up,

The mad-brain bridegroom took him such a cuff,
That down fell priest and book, and book and priest:
Now take them up, quoth he, if any list!

TRA. What said the wench when he rose up again?

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150

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GRE. Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp'd and

swore,

As if the vicar meant to cozen him.

But, after many ceremonies done,

He calls for wine: A health! quoth he; as if
He had been aboard, carousing to his mates
After a storm; quaff'd off the muscadel,
And threw the sops all in the sexton's face;
Having no other reason

But that his beard grew thin and hungerly,
And seem'd to ask him sops as he was drinking.
This done, he took the bride about the neck,
And kiss'd her lips with such a clamorous smack
That, at the parting, all the Church did echo:

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And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame;
And after me, I know, the rout' is coming.
Such a mad marriage never was before:
Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play.

[Music plays.

Re-enter PETRUCHIO, KATE, BIANCA, BAPTISTA,
GRUMIO; with HORTENSIO and Train.

PET. Gentlemen and Friends, I thank you for your
pains :

I know you think to dine with me to-day,
And have prepar'd great store of wedding-cheer;
But, so it is, my haste doth call me hence,
And therefore here I mean to take my leave.
BAP. Is 't possible you will away to-night?
PET. I must away to-day before night come :

Make it no wonder; if you knew my business,
You would entreat me rather go than stay.
And, honest Company, I thank you all,
That have beheld me give away myself

To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife:
Dine with my father, drink a health to me;
For I must hence; and farewell to you all.
TRA. Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.
PET. It may not be.

GRE.

PET. It cannot be.
КАТН.

PET. I am content.
KATH.

Let me entreat you, Sir.

Let me entreat you stay.

Are you content to stay?

PET. I am content you shall entreat me stay;
But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.
KATH. Now, if you love me, stay.

PET.

Grumio, my horse.

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200

GRU. Ay, Sir; they be ready: the oats have eaten the

horses.

KATH. Nay, then,

Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day;
No; nor to-morrow, nor till I please myself.
The door is open, Sir; there lies your way;
You may be jogging whiles your boots are green;

1 company.

ACT III
Sc. II

For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself:
"Tis like you'll prove a jolly surly groom,
That take it on you at the first so roundly.
PET. O, Kate, content thee; pr'ythee, be not angry.
KATH. I will be angry: what hast thou to do?

Father, be quiet: he shall stay my leisure.
GRE. Ay, marry, Sir; now it begins to work.
KATH. Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner:
I see a woman may be made a fool,

If she had not a spirit to resist.

PET. They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command:
Obey the bride, you that attend on her;
Go to the feast, revel and domineer,1
Carouse full measure to her maidenhead,
Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves!
But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.
Nay; look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret;
I will be master of what is mine own:

She is my goods, my chattels ; she is my house,
She is my household stuff, my field, my barn,
My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing:
And here she stands, touch her whoever dare;
I'll bring mine action on the proudest He,
That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,

Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves;
Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.

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Fear not, sweet Wench! they shall not touch thee,
Kate:

I'll buckler thee against a million.

[Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, and GRUMIO.

BAP. Nay; let them go, a couple of quiet ones.

GRE. Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.
TRA. Of all mad matches never was the like.

Luc. Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister?
BIAN. That, being mad herself, she's madly mated.
GRE. I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.

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BAP. Neighbours and Friends, though bride and bridegroom wants

For to supply the places at the table,

You know there wants no junkets at the feast.

1 (slang?) lord it, take your ease.

2 are lacking.

You shall supply the bridegroom's place, Lucentio ;
And let Bianca take her sister's room.

TRA. Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?
Bap. She shall, Lucentio. Come, Gentlemen, let's go.

[exeunt.

ACT III

Sc. II

ACT IV

SCENE I. PETRUCHIO'S House.

Enter GRUMIO.

GRU. Fie, fie on all tir'd jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever man so ray'd?1 was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot, and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me: but I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis!

ΙΙ

Enter CURTIS.

CURT. Who is that calls so coldly?

GRU. A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou may'st slide
from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run
but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.
CURT. Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
GRU. O, ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore fire, fire; cast on
no water.

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CURT. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported?
GRU. She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but thou
know'st Winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it
hath tam'd my old master and my new mistress and
myself, fellow Curtis.

CURT. Away, you three-inch Fool! I am no beast.
GRU. Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot;
and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make

ACT IV
Sc. I

a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand (she being now at hand) thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office?

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CURT. I pr'ythee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?

GRU. A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and therefore fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death. CURT. There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news.

GRU. Why, Jack, Boy! ho, Boy! and as much news as
will thaw.

CURT. Come, you are so full of cony-catching!1
GRU. Why, therefore fire; for I have caught extreme
cold. Where's the cook? is supper ready, the house
trimm'd, rushes strew'd, cobwebs swept; the serving-
men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and
every officer his wedding-garment on? Be the jacks2
fair within, the jills3 fair without, the carpets laid, and
every thing in order?

CURT. All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news?

GRU. First, know, my horse is tir'd; my master and mistress fallen out.

CURT. HOW?

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GRU. Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.

CURT. Let's ha't, good Grumio.

GRU. Lend thine ear.

CURT. Here.

GRU. There.

CURT. This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.

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GRU. And therefore 'tis call'd a sensible tale: and this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening. Now I begin: Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress.

CURT. Both of one horse ?

GRU. What's that to thee?

CURT. Why, a horse.

GRU. Tell thou the tale: but, hadst thou not cross'd me,

1 cheating, i.e. quibbling.

2

stoups of leather.

3 tankards.