tions from those present. For some days, I had taken great delight in perusing the word of God, and found the desires of my heart uncommonly drawn out after God and Christ; attended with greater freedom of thought and expression than I had ever before enjoyed.

May 22. My waking ideas this morning, (as had been common with me for some time,) were upon the things of the kingdom. Had this day interesting views of eternal realities; and enjoyed much in Christian conversation. -As I walked abroad this evening, and was viewing an approaching thunder-storm, had a most striking sense of the power and majesty of that Being, who "has his way in the whirlwind, and in the storm, and has the clouds as the dust of his feet." My feelings at this time were very similar to what they were on the

evening of the 16th.

May 23. Arose this morning in great anxiety about my immortal interest. Read the scriptures before my secret devotions, (as my practice had long been,) and had much engagedness in prayer. Through the day, my mind was greatly agitated with fear, lest I should finally take up with a false hope: yea, I was distressed lest I had done it already. I therefore renewed the resolution which I made on the first of this month. As I retired to rest this evening, I had a most affecting view of myself, as the most helpless of mortal beings, and, at the same time, loaded with accumulated guilt. It appeared to me that I was

the greatest sinner upon earth. Although I was not conscious, that I had ever been left to indulge in those gross vices, of which many are guilty; yet my sins had been attended with so many aggravating circumstances, beyond others, that their guilt appeared greater than that of the most abandoned sinner in the, world. And it appeared real to me, that all the time I had been imagining that I was striving to find Christ, I had only been striving to keep at a greater distance from him. Just as these reflections were passing in my mind, suddenly, my conceptions of the character of the Saviour were greatly enlarged, so that he appeared, every way, to answer Solomon's description, "the chiefest among ten thousand, and altogether lovely." His appearance was so charming and captivating, that it drew forth all the affections of my soul in love and gratitude, and threw me into a kind of ecstacy; so that I most ardently longed to leave this frail body, that I might go and be in his immediate presence, where I might enjoy him without interruption for ever. Indeed, so strong was my desire to be with Christ, that I could not, for some time, content myself to remain in the body, until these enrapturing views and feelings had in some measure subsided, and I had calmness to reflect, that it was my duty to wait God's time, which was always the best time. My succeeding reflections were, that while he continued me in the world, I must do all that lay in my power to augment his declarative

glory. But then it turned in my mind, that such an unworthy, guilty creature as I was, could do nothing to enhance the glory of such an exalted, pure and holy Being: when conscience seemed to answer, Yes you can, by appearing to-morrow in the sanctuary, as a sincere worshipper. Whereupon, I became impatient to be immediately engaged in the actual service of God; and could not be contented to wait until to-morrew, it appeared at such a distance.-After I had lain in this happy frame for some hours, I reflected, that sleep was as much a duty as actual service; for, by neglecting the former, we were unfitted for the latter: resolved therefore to sleep, if possible, even at the expense of such soul-refreshing exercises; and, to this end, changed my position on my bed, and in a few moments lost myself in a sweet sleep. And I verily believe, if I ever performed one duty in my whole life, with a single eye to the glory of God, it was this night, in going to sleep.

Lord's day, May 24. Awoke early this morning, in the same state of mind, as when I lost myself in sleep the last night, and walked out into the orchard, my usual place for meditation. Here I had another striking view of my wretched condition by nature-saw myself to be a most loathsome and despicable creature, without strength to help myself, and without merit to claim any assistance from God: saw that I had never done any thing for God, or for my perishing fellow-creatures, or

even for my own salvation-that I was wholly dependent on the sovereign mercy of God for sanctification and eternal life-and that if he should cast me down to hell, he would be holy and righteous, as well as just. Christ appeared much as he had done the night before, in beauty and glory, beyond the power of my pen to describe. To be with him, and to behold his perfections and works, would, it appeared to me, be the summit of all happiness; and that if I was sent to hell, it would be a delight to me to sing his praises. Indeed, it appeared as though there could be no heaven without his presence, nor any hell where that was afforded. I had a longing desire for the salvation of perishing souls, and felt that I could sincerely and earnestly pray, even upon the supposition that I must be eternally miserable myself, that I might be the only one. Every object around me now shone with a peculiar lustre, and reflected the glory of its Creator. In this state of mind, I attempted to pray; but my heart was so filled with love to God and Christ, and my thoughts so enveloped in contemplations on the beauties of the divine character, that I could not make one petition; but only repeated the expression, Blessed God, over and over again, for a long time. Indeed, I had no petition to offer; for my soul was so perfectly satisfied, that there was nothing more that I wanted. With such exercises I continued abroad until called to breakfast. After family duties were attended, I took my Bible,

for secret duties; and that was as new as the world around me: it appeared with an entire new complexion: every letter and word seemed as if lined with gold and I saw it to be the mind and will of God, as I had never done before. I now felt as if I had a new tongue to pray and praise the Lord; and that which was once my burden, was now my sweetest employ. When I walked the street to the house of God, all things appeared as new to me, as if I had been in a strange place, though they were almost as familiar to me as the furniture of my room. God's house was this day a new place to me. I heard the word with great reverence and delight; and took much satisfaction in singing the praises of God. In the time of public service, however, I had a soul-rending view of the dishonour I had done to the greatest and best of beings, by living such a sinful life, and so long neglecting to attend to his kind offers of mercy. When not engaged in public worship, my time was spent either in reading, meditation, or practical religion. At the evening conference, I had much enjoyment in God; and his service was sweeter to me than my necessary food. After the evening sacrifice, I spent an hour or two, in devout meditation on the divine character, and the employments of heaven, until my rapture was so great, that I scarcely knew whether I was in the body, or out of it.

May 25. I spent much time this day in examining my heart, to see if I could discover