mind would entirely unfit me for study, and thus throw me behind my class; but I was enabled, by divine assistance, so to attend to each concern at its proper time and place, that I was afterwards fully convinced, that I made as great proficiency during the months in which I was under the convicting influences of the Spirit, as when I had suffered my books to engross my whole attention.

March 28, 1761. This day completed the twenty-first year of my life: And on this day I began a Diary; hoping, that making a daily record of my exercises, might be a stimulus to me, more faithfully to watch my heart and guard my conduct, in future life.-My anxiety for the eternal happiness of my perishing soul, had now arisen to a great height, so as effectually to destroy all solicitude about worldly concerns. Constant and distressing fear agitated my breast, lest I should grieve away the Spirit, lose my convictions, and that God would leave me to pine away in mine iniquity. These fears were kept alive by an idea which was common with me, that my anxiety was not as great as in weeks past; and also by an idea, deeply engraven on my mind, that this was the last special call of mercy I should ever receive from the Holy Spirit. Such reflections as these were a powerful incentive to me, to use every means in my power to cultivate the operations of the Holy Spirit, and, if possible, retain the blessed Comforter. To this end, I embraced every convenient opportunity to re

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tire into some solitary place, for close meditation, self-examination and prayer-importu nately beseeching him to continue the gracious influences of his Spirit, and that he would do that for me, which I felt perfectly unable to do for myself.

April 12. As I was at a conference meeting, meditating upon my wretched situation as a sinner, and the justice of God in leaving me to perish, my heart was suddenly drawn out in love to God and longing desires after Christ, whose character now appeared with a lustre that was entirely new to my apprehension. Returning from meeting, my mind was intently fixed upon this glorious Saviour, and his blood appeared sufficient to wash away all my sins, though never so great. In this frame of mind, retired (on my return,) for secret devotion.

April 21. While I was conversing with a Christian friend, my mind was filled with admiring wonder at the stupendous love of Christ, in giving his life a ransom for the guilty and ruined sons of men; which love appear-a ed beyond expression or conception great. On this subject my mind was sweetly employed for a long time. April 22. As I retired this morning for meditation and prayer, had my mind overwhelmed with a sense of God's patience and goodness, in waiting so long upon such a rebellious creature; and not only continuing to call me by his word and providences, but by

the strivings of his Spirit, even after I had so often neglected, and abused, his proffered mercy. After the 12th, I uniformly felt differently in my mind, from what I am conscious of ever having felt before. My fear of punishment was greatly diminished; and in proportion, my zeal to find and enjoy Christ was increased: and besides, I enjoyed that tranquility and serenity of mind, that I never before experienced.*

May 1. Was much agitated with fear, (as I had been for some days previous,) lest I should be left of God to take up with a false hope; and to build for eternity upon the sandy foundation of mine own righteousness. To guard against this, I was led to form a deliberate and solemn resolution, that no experience whatever should ever lead me to rest upon a hope, so as at all to relax my exertions for the salvation of my soul.

May 16. In my morning walk for meditation, took a solemn retrospect of my past life; how often I had grieved away the Holy Spirit, and how much I had done to provoke God to leave me to perish. Having my mind deeply affected with a sense of the wretched condition of a poor sinner without hope, and without God in the world, was enabled, on my return, to address the throne of grace in secret with much fervency and apparent affection. In my

*I did not as yet entertain the most distant idea, that I had experienced any thing supernatural; but considered every thing as the production merely of my natural feelings.

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petitions, I earnestly plead, that God would grant me the gracious influences of his Spirit to enable me to do.my duty; and that he would interest me in the merits of the Saviour, and make me a new creature.

The principal part of this day, my mind was sweetly employed in meditations on heavenly and divine things. In the evening, retired in to the orchard, where I spent some time, reflecting upon the wicked and abominable life I had lived, and the lamentable state I was in; when my mind was turned upon the plan of salvation; and I had a most transporting sense of the love of Christ in giving his life a ransom for lost sinners. In this frame of mind, attempted to pour out my soul in prayer to God; and soon the eyes of my mind were opened to see, and my heart enlarged to admire, the beauty and glory that appeared in every object around me, which was beyond the power of language to describe, or an unexperienced heart to conceive. The moon, the stars, the clouds, the trees, the blossoms, and even the smallest vegetable upon which my eye glanced, appeared to speak forth the praises of its Creator. With this pleasing and rapturous prospect, my mind was employed nearly an hour, when the glory of the scene began to fade away. My mind was then turned upon my past life; and I had a most humbling sense of my unworthiness, and shameful neglects; especially since I had vowed, and publicly engaged to be the Lord's. As I re

turned home, my soul constantly ascended in ejaculatory petitions; an exercise, to which I had accustomed myself, even in my busiest

moments.

Lord's day, May 17. This morning, found my mind seriously employed in contemplations on heavenly and divine things; much in the frame of the last evening.-This day sat at the table of the Lord, and endeavoured to affect my stupid heart with a sense of what Christ had undergone for the guilty sons of men: which led to some severe self-reproaches, that I was no more engaged in religion, and did no more to promote the glory of God.

May 18 and 19. Continued to have an increasing anxiety for my immortal soul; and a more earnest solicitude to enjoy God and Christ, and to get a stronger assurance of my title to heaven. Indeed, my anxiety was now such, as almost entirely to unfit me for the prosecution of my studies.

May 20. As I was reciting to-day in the Greek Testament, it fell to my lot to construe a part of the 14th chapter of St. Luke's Gospel, beginning at the 35th verse, where we have an account of our Saviour's sufferings on the cross. Suddenly, my mind was overwhelmed with a sense of the love of Christ, in suffering and dying for rebel sinners: And the view which I had of his glorious character, and of my guilt in so long neglecting his kind offers of mercy, entirely debilitated my whole frame, so that I was unable to secrete my emo