the valleys, hoping to thaw their joints with the waters of the stream; but there the frost overtook them, and bound them fast in ice, till the young herdsmen took them in their stronger snare. It is the unhappy chance of many men, finding many inconveniences upon the mountains of single life, they descend into the valleys of marriage to refresh their troubles, and there they enter into fetters, and are bound to sorrow, by the cords of a man's or woman's peevishness. Every little thing can blast an infant blossom; and the breath of the south can shake the little rings of the vine, when first they begin to curl like the locks of a new-weaned boy; but when by age and consolidation they stiffen into the hardness of a stem, and have, by the warm embraces of the sun, and the kisses of heaven, brought forth their clusters, they can endure the storms of the north, and the loud noises of a tempest, and yet never be broken: so are the early unions of an unfixed marriage; watchful and observant, jealous and busy, inquisitive and careful, and apt to take alarm at every unkind word. For infirmities do not manifest themselves in the first scenes, but in the succession of a long society; and it is not chance or weakness, when it appears at first, but it is want of love or prudence, or it will be so expounded; and that which appears ill at first, usually affrights the unexperienced man or woman, who makes unequal conjectures, and fancies mighty sorrows by the proportions of the new and early unkindness. It is a very great passion, or a huge folly, or a certain want of love, that cannot preserve the colours and beauties of kindness, so long as public honesty requires a man to wear their sorrows for the death of a friend. The little boy, in the Greek epigram, that was creeping down a precipice, was invited to his safety by the sight of his mother's pap, when nothing else could entice him to return; and the bond of common children, and the sight of her that nurses is most dear to him, and the endearments of each other in the course of a long society, and the same relation is an excellent security to redintegrate and to call that love back, which folly and trifling accidents would disturb. When it comes thus far, it is hard untwisting the knot. Here is nothing can please a man without love; and if a man be weary of the wise discourses of the apostles, and of the innocency of an even and private fortune, or hates peace, or a fruitful year, he hath reaped thorns and thistles from the choicest flowers of paradise; for nothing can sweeten felicity itself, but love. But when a man dwells in love, then the eyes of his wife are fair as the light of heaven, and he can lay his sorrows down upon her lap, and can retire home as to his sanctuary and refectory, and his gardens of sweetness and chaste refreshments. No man can tell, but he that loves his children, how many delicious accents make a man's heart dance in the pretty conversation of those dear pledges; their childishness, their stammering, their little angers, their innocence, their imperfections, their necessities, are so many little emanations of joy and comfort to him that delights in their persons and society; but he that loves not his wife and children, feeds a lioness at home, and broods a nest of sorrows, and blessing itself cannot make him happy; so that all the commandments enjoining a man to love his wife, are nothing but so many necessities and capacities of joy. She that is loved is safe, and he that loves is joyful." Dr. Watts thought justly, when he wrote the following admirable poem. The Doctor was a bachelor; but he had evidently the finest conception of what should constitute the 'genuine happiness of the married life : 4. Say, mighty love, and teach my song, Whose yielding hearts, and joining hands, Not the wild herd of nymphs and swains Not sordid souls of earthly mould, Not the mad tribe that hell inspires On Etna's top let furies wed, And sheets of lightning dress the bed, Not the dull pairs, whose marble forms Can mingle hearts and hands: Logs of green wood, that quench the coals, Nor can the soft enchantments hold Two kindest souls alone must meet, And cupids yoke the doves. A good wife will co-operate with her husband in a regular attention to all the varieties of family expenditure. She will consider neatness, which is one of the lesser virtues too lightly noticed by the moralist, as an object of no trivial concern. And her servants, viewing in her the model of neatness, will copy it in their own persons, and display it in every thing which claims their care. She will on no account relax her regard to settled hours, both as to family repasts and family devotions, but enforce regularity by her own uniform practice, distinguishing herself by the earliness of her application to each domestic office; for much depends on this. To rise early, has even a moral tendency. That it contributes both to affluence and to health, is so obvious, as to have become proverbial; and that it renders the mind vigorous and cheerful, will strikingly appear, on contrasting the heaviness of the slothful and enervated, with the vivacity of the vigilant and industrious. If the first part of the day be wasted in sleep, what remains will hardly be recovered from dissipation and disorder. A sensible and discreet woman will see the distinction between sullen seclusion and a becoming retirement; and, whilst she remits not her attention to family duties, nor suffers an hour to be lost which should be devoted to her husband's interest, she will yet remember her most distant connections, and readily give them all the leisure she can command. For her own sake, indeed, she will cherish an intercourse with her friends, who will soothe her solicitudes, and by diverting her thoughts, induce an agreeable relaxation. Nothing also contributes more to the expansion of the mind, and to the pliability of the manners, than to converse with various people, and to observe their different characters. A well-selected acquaintance is therefore desirable, provided the leisure and income of the parties justify the indulgence: but at all events, there will seldom be wanting an ability to attend to and fulfil the calls of private friendship. The following piece represents the tender husband as sensible of the vicissitudes and transitoriness of life, and calling upon his partner to participate in the pleasures of love, before it be too late: Let us, my Delia, while we live, Crown'd with each bliss that Love can give, Then let us seize the present hour, Then as my arms I fondly twine And only live for love and you. In Rogers's Pleasures of Memory we have the following beautiful lines, addressed to a friend on his محمد marriage On thee, blest youth, a father's hand confers She wins assurance from his soothing voice; From her full bosom bursts th' unbidden sigh; Ah! soon, thine own confess'd, ecstatic thought, The constancy of true love is thus beautifully expressed by Moore : Believe me, if all those endearing young charms, Were to change by to-morrow, and flee from my arms, Like fairy-gifts fading away Thou would'st still be ador'd as this moment thou art, Let thy loveliness fade as it will; And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart |