and aim." If she gives her heart to one whom she thinks will love her, but finds too late that he

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spoils" therefore were had recourse to, to keep up in his mind every day, something of her who wished to make him her "conquered captive." She had sense enough to think that marriage was the most important part of a woman's life, and, with a love which forgot all trouble, and which only a woman would put in execution, began to throw her chains around the heart of the person whom she would only have; and to aid her in this murderous and mischievous design, her friends and her family-men servants and maid servants-brothers and sisters and cousins and aunts— saucepans, kettle-drums, masks, candlesticks-horses, mares, ponies, asses, and fools were all engaged on her side to agitate the question." In short, the armament to Walcheren was nothing to the armament which this Scotch lassie (I must ask Sir Walter Scott, if they are all so cunning?) had fitted out for the utter destruction and abolition of the poor Irishman. A quarrel, (we have all heard of "amantium iræ,” and when was there a brace of lovers without a spice of mock warfare?) A quarrel was however agreed on during the siege, and "operations" were accordingly commenced; but the lovely girl went to such infinite pains and trouble to prove that it was a quarrel, that our Paddy was convinced it was not. Infinitely too good humoured therefore to do any thing but smile at the knickery-knackery, (when was a woman in love

does not; that heart is indeed crushed. I scarcely know terms foul enough for the wretch who mar

without it?) he pretended to be seriously aggrieved by the proceeding, at the same time secretly resolving (as there was no real quarrel in the case) to await the issue of the petit comedy, and that then, if her love for him was real, she could easily evince it, and that if it was not, he had studied her sex infinitely too well, and had been far too great a rover, (a national fault with poor Paddy, arising, I really believe, from excessive buoyancy of spirit, and not from badness of principle,) to heed the matter. She was frequently warned that it was ridiculous for her (on this account) to try and regularly catch his heart. She was also told that he was young and dissipated-that he was fond of spending money, entertaining his friends, kissing the pretty lips of women, and doing other nefarious and unchristian things. But 'twas all in vain: when a woman is in earnest in her love, she never will give up the person she fixes her affections on; and she accordingly very particularly told them all that she would have him, and that no one else but her "brilliant Paddy" (she thus designated him) should ever lead her, either to church or to bed. (Well done, Scotch lassie.)

She proved it. Her beauty and her accomplishments imperceptibly wound round him, and they were at length married. She afterwards told her husband (from whom I have the above) that some of the hap

ries, and then behaves cruel to one whom he has sworn to cherish and protect.

You will tell me, my Lord, I moralize. You will perceive it is only for a few lines, besides, if I joke on the matter, I should also wish to write serious; so, with the same versatility if you please, I shall come back again, and quote unto your Lordship the first authority" in the land on such a subject, videlicet-an old maid.

I do remember me, my Lord, having been in company some fifty years ago with one of these

piest moments of her life were spent in laying plans, plots, and devices for him!!!

But jokes apart. I should blame myself were I not to own (though I satirize my own sex in the avowal) that the love of woman, when once it is fixed on any object, is infinitely more pure and constant than that of man. Even when the very last hope is gone, she still loves on; and frowns, threats, and coldness are unable to quench it. My life is not very long, but the observations which I have made on the sex, induce me to say, that if woman has her waywardness and her fantasies-her little arts and devices; yet she also has that which throws them all into shade, and makes up by its lovely lustre her other defects-love, unquenchable and changeless love. To this, I bear willing testimony; and some instances of it have been sketched by the author in a forthcoming Tale.

marriage despising animals, now dead and gone, (rest and bless her!) and she did assuredly and didactically declare unto me, the words and terms following, viz.-" that the moment a woman went to any trouble to convince you that she was not in love with you, that you might be certain (unless arising from your own fault) that she entertained a favourable opinion of you." If this "declaration" set forth in the "court of chancery" of old maids (rest and bless them!) be correct, I here bring up another instance where my favourite, Mistress Letitia" was correct; and though Mr. Doricourt, with all his sense and all his elegance, could not solve her problems, conundrums, and riddles, yet she, by a magic stroke, at once gave him real delight and the most touching rapture. As a commentary on this, take the following example from real life-said example proving the above doctrine of old maids (rest and bless them!) to be correct.

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You recollect, my Lord, the gay and the graceful You recollect his gentlemanly and winning address-his brilliant wit-amiable disposition-and most extraordinary endowments. You do not forget the night he first caught your eye at the ball room of You saw him whirl through the mazes of the dance, fling him

self at the piano, take up the flute and accompany that piano, throw himself among half the women of the room and find conversation for them, and in ten minutes after, enter the deserted anti room, and with the member for the county, draw up the heads of a bill for him, which it was his intention to present to parliament the ensuing session ; and remarking to him the leading topics of its accompanying speech.

Your Lordship, however, does not forget the pale and Madonna countenance which was sitting on the Ottoman at the lower end of the room. He went up to her. Would she dance with him? No; she would not dance with him." Would she take wine with him? "No; she would take no wine with him." Would she allow him to sit

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next her at supper No; she would not on any account sit near him." Might he attend her home? "No; other persons would do it." And yet after all this antipode way of showing" grace and favour," a week after brought him a present which he could not mistake; and in another week was confined to her bed with a snug and pretty physician attending her in an amatory fever-he totally unconscious of having been the cause. Now "set this in case," (as the bailiff in "The Good-natured Man" has it,) and it will afford an