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Enter Curtis, a Servant.
Gru. A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou may'st slide from my shoulder to my heel, with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.
Curt. Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio ?
Gru. She was, good Curtis, before the frost; but, thou know'st, winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tam’d
old master, and my new mistress, and thyself, fellow Curtis.
Curt. Away, you three-inch'd fool; I am no beast.
Gru. Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot, and so long am I, at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress ? whose hand, she being now at hand, thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office.
Curt. I pr’ythee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?
Gru. A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and therefore, fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
Curt. There is fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the
Gru. Why, Jack boy, ho boy, and as much news as thou wilt.
Gru. Why, therefore, fire; for I have caught extreme cold. Where's the cook? is supper ready, the house trimm’d, rushes ftrew'd, cobwebs swept, the servingmen in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on ? be the jacks fair without, the jills fair within, carpets lay'd, and every thing in order ?
Curt. All ready: and therefore, I pray thee, what news ?
Gru. Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.
Curt. Let's ha't, good Grumio.
[strikes him. Curt. This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
Gru. And therefore’tis call’d a sensible tale: and this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech list’ning. Now I begin: imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress.
Curt. Both on one horse?
thou should'st have heard, how her horse fell, and she under her horse; thou should'st have heard, in how miry a place; how she was bemoil'd; how he left her with the horse upon her; how he beat me because her horse stumbled; how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me; how he swore; how she pray'd that never pray'd before; how I cry'd; how the horses ran away; how her bridle was burst; how I lost my crupper; with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienc'd to thy grave.
Curt. By this reckoning, he is more shrew than she.
Gru. Ay, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this ? call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest: let their heads be Neekly comb'd, their blue coats brush’d, and their garters of an indifferent knit; let them court'sy with their left legs, and not presume to touch a hair of my
master's horse tail, till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
Curt. They are.
Curt. Do you hear, ho? you must meet my master to countenance my mistress.
Gru. Why, she hath a face of her own.
Gru. Thou, it seems, that call'st for company to countenance
Enter four or five Serving-men.
Gru. Welcome, you; how now, you; what, you; fellow, you; and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat?
Nath. All things are ready: how near is our master?
Gru. E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not cock’s passion, silence! I hear my master.
Enter Petruchio, and Kate.
All Serv. Here, here, sir; here, sir.
Pet. Here, fir! here, fır! here, fir! here, sir !
Gru. Here, fir, as foolish as I was before.
And bring along the rascal knaves with thee?
Gru. Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made:
[Exe. Serv. Where is the life that late I led ?
[lings. Where are those ? Sit down, Kate, And welcome. Soud, soud, foud, foud.
[humming: Enter Servants with supper. Why, when I say? nay, good sweet Kate, be merry. Off with my boots, you rogue: you villains, when? It was the friar of orders gray,
[fings. As he forth walked on his way. Out, out, you rogue! you pluck my
awry. Take that, and mind the plucking off the other. [frikes him. Be merry, Kate : some water here; what hoa!
Enter one with water.
Cath. Patience, I pray you, 'twas a fault unwilling.
Pet. A whoreson, beetleheaded, flatear’d knave !
Pet. Who brought it?
Pet. Tis burnt: and so is all the meat:
[throws the meat, &c. about the stage. You heedless joltheads, and unmanner'd slaves! What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.
Cath. I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet; The meat was well, if you were so contented.
Pet. I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt, and dry'd away, And I expresly am forbid to touch it: For it engenders choler, planteth anger; And better 'twere that both of us did fast, Since of ourselves ourselves are cholerick, Than feed it with such overroasted flesh : Be patient, for to-morrow't shall be mended, And, for this night, we'll fast for company, Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber. [Exeunt.
Enter Servants severally. Nath. Peter, didst ever see the like? Peter. He kills her in her own humour. Gru. Where is he?
Enter Curtis. Curt. In her chamber, making a sermon of continency to her, And rails, and swears, and rates; and she, poor soul, Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak, And sits as one new-risen from a dream. Away, away, for he is coming hither.