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Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home,
And so am come abroad to see the world.
Hor. Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee,
And wish thee to a shrewd illfavour'd wife?
Thou'lt thank me but a little for my counsel;
And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich,
rich: but thou'rt too much my friend, And I'll not wish thee to her.
Pet. Signior Hortenfio, 'twixt such friends as us
Few words suffice; and, therefore, if
One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife';
(As wealth is burden of my wooing dance)
Be she as foul as was · Florentius' love,
As old as Sybil, and as curst and shrewd
As Socrates' Xantippe, or a worse,
She moves me not, or not removes, at least,
Affection's edge in me; were she as rough
As are the swelling Adriatick seas :
I come to wive it wealthily in Padua :
If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
Gru. Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is : why, give him gold enough, and marry him to a puppet, or an aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses; why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
Hor. Petruchio, since we are step'd thus far in, I will continue that I broach'd in jest. I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife With wealth enough, and young, and beauteous, Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman; Her only fault, and that is fault enough, Is, that she is intolerably curft, And shrewd, and froward, so beyond all measure, That were my state far worser than it is, I would not wed her for a mine of gold. This, probably, alludes to fome story in an Italian novel, and should be written Florentio's love,
Pet. Hortenfio, peace! thou know'st not gold's effect;
Tell me her father's name, and 'tis enough:
For I will board her, though she chide as loud
As thunder, when the clouds in autumn crack.
Hor. Her father is Baptista Minola,
An affable and courteous gentleman;
Her name is Catharina Minola,
Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue.
Pet. I know her father, though I know not her;
And he knew my deceased father well :
I will not sleep, Hortenfio, till I see her;
And therefore let me be thus bold with you,
To give you over at this first encounter,
accompany me thither.
Gru. I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O’my
word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding
would do little good upon him: The may, perhaps, call him half a
score knaves, or fo: why, that's nothing; an he begin once,
he'll rail in his rhetorick. I'll tell you what, sir, an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it, that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat: you know him not, sir.
Hór. Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee;
For in Baptista's house my treasure is :
He hath the jewel of my life in hold,
His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca;
And her withholds he from me, and other more
Suitors to her, and rivals in
Supposing it a thing impossible,
From those defects I have before rehears'd,
That ever Catharina will be woo’d;
Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en,
That none shall have access unto Bianca,
Till Catharine the curst have got a husband.
Gru. Catharine the curft!
A title for a maid of all titles the worst.
Hor. Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,
And offer me, disguis’d in sober robes,
To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
Well seen in musick, to instruct Bianca;
That so I may, by this device, at least,
Have leave and leisure to make love to her,
And, unsuspected, court her by herself.
Enter Gremio, and Lucentio disguis’d.
Gru. Here's no knavery ! see, to beguile the old folks, how
the young folks lay their heads together! Master, look about
Hor. Peace, Grumio ; 'tis the rival of my love.
Petruchio, stand by a while.
Gru. A proper stripling, and an amorous !
Gre. O, very well; I have perus’d the note.
Hark you, I'll have them very fairly bound;
All books of love, see that, at any hand;
And see you read no other lectures to her :
You understand me: over and beside
Signior Baptifta's liberality,
l'il mend it with a largess. Take your papers,
And let me have them very well perfum'd,
For she is sweeter than perfume itself
To whom they go: what will you read to her?
Luc. Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you,
As for my patron, stand you so assured ;
As firmly as yourself were still in place:
Yea, and, perhaps, with more successful words
Than you, unless you were a scholar, fir.
Gre. O this learning! what a thing it is !
Gru. O this woodcock! what an ass it is!
Pet. Peace, firrah!
Hor. Grumio, mum! God save you, signior Gremio.
Gre. And you are well met, signior Hortenfio. Trow you whither I am going? to Baptista Minola : I promis’d to inquire carefully about a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca ; and, by good fortune, I have lighted well on this young man ; for learning, and behaviour, fit
for her turn, well read in poetry, and other books, good ones, I warrant ye.
Hor. "'Tis well; and I have met a gentleman
Hath promis’d me to help me to another,
A fine musician to instruct our mistress;
So shall I no whit be behind in duty
To fair Bianca, so belov’d of me.
Gre. Belov'd of me, and that my deeds shall prove.
Gru. And that his bags shall prove.
Hor. Gremio, ’tis now no time to vent our love:
Listen to me, and, if you speak me fair,
I'll tell you news indifferent good for either.
Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,
Upon agreement from us to his liking,
Will undertake to woo curft Catharine,
Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.
Gre. So said, so done, is well ;
told him all her faults? Pet. I know, she is an irksome brawling scold; If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
Gre. No, say'st me fo, friend ? pray, what countryman?
Pet. Born in Verona, old Antonio's son ;
My father's dead, my fortune lives for me,
And I do hope good days and long to fee.
Gre. O, such a life with such a wife were strange;
But, if you have a stomach, to't o'god's name,
You shall have me assisting you in all.
But will you woo this wild cat ?
Pet. Will I live?
Gru. Will he woo her? ay, or I'll hang her.
Pet. Why came I hither, but to that intent?
Think you, a little din can daunt my ears ?
Have I not in my time heard lions roar ?
Have I not heard the sea, puff'd up with winds,
Rage like an angry boar, chafed with sweat ?
Have I not heard great ordnance in the field ?
And heav’n’s artillery thunder in the skies?
Have I not in a pitched battle heard
Loud larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets clang?
And do you tell me of a woman's tongue,
That gives not half so great a blow to th’ear,
As will a chestnut in a farmer's fire?
Tush, tush! fear boys with bugs.
Gru. For he fears none.
Gre. Hortenso, hark :
This gentleman is happily arriv’d,
My mind presumes, for his own good, and ours.
Hor. I promis’d we would be contributors,
And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe'er.
Gre. And so we will, provided that he win her.
Gru. I would I were as sure of a good dinner!
To them Tranio bravely apparell’d, and Biondello.
Tra. Gentlemen, god save you! If I may be bold, tell me,
I beseech you, which is the readiest way to the house of signior
Bion. He that has the two fair daughters ? is’t he you
Tra. Even he, Biondello.
Gre. Hark you, fir; you mean not her to —
Tra. Perhaps, him and her; what have you to do?
Pet. Nor her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.
Tra. I love no chiders, fir: Biondello, let's away.
Luc. Well begun, Tranio.
Hor. Sir, a word ere you go :
Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea, or no?