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SC E N E
Duke Sen. Doft thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Orla. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not;
Enter Rosalind, Sylvius, and Phebe.
(to the Duke.
Duke Sen. That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
Ros. But, if you do refuse to marry me,
Pbe. So is the bargain.
Rof. I've promisid to make all this matter even :
[Exe. Rof. and Celia.
Orla. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him,
But, my good lord, this boy is forestborn,
Enter Clown, and Audrey, Faq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark. Here come a pair of unclean • beasts, which in all tongues are call’d fools.
Clo. Salutation and greeting to you all !
Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motleyminded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears.
Clo. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation : I have trod a measure, I have flatter'd a lady, I have been politick with my friend, smooth with mine enemy, I have undone three tailors, I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one.
Jaq. And how was that ta’en up?
Cló. 'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause.
Jaq. How the seventh cause? good my lord, like this fellow.
Duke Sen. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.
LIKE IT. Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?
Clo. Upon a lie seven times removed; (bear your body more seeming, Audrey) as thus, sir: I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word; if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is call’d, the retort courteous. If I sent him word again it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: this is call’d the quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is callid, the reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: this is call’d, the reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lied: this is call’d, the countercheck quarrelsome; and so the lie circumstantial, and the lie direct.
Jaq. And how oft did you say, his beard was not well cut?
. I durst go no further than the lie circumstantial; nor he durft not give me the lie direct; and so we measur’d swords, and parted.
Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie?
. O fir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have books for good manners. I will name you the degrees. The first, the retort courteous; the second, the quip modeft; the third, the reply churlish; the fourth, the reproof valiant; the fifth, the countercheck quarrelsome; the fixth, the lie with circumstance; the seventh, the lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie
and you may avoid that too, with an if. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an if; as, if you said so, then I said so; and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your if is the only peacemaker; much virtue in if.
Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord ? he's good at any thing, and yet a fool.
Duke Sen. He uses his folly like a stalkinghorse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit.
[to the Duke.
Enter Hymen, Rosalind in woman's cloths, and Celia.
When earthly things made even
Yea, brought her hither,
Whose heart within his bofom is.
to Orlando. Duke Sen. If there be truth in fight, you are my daughter. Orla. If there be truth in fight, you are my Rosalind.
Phe. If sight and shape be true,
be not he;
Hym. Peace, hoa! I bar confufion: 'Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange events :
If truth holds true contents.
That reason wonder may diminish,
O blessed bond of board and bed!
High wedlock then be honoured :
To Hymen, god of every town!
Phe. I will not eat my word, now thou art mine;
Enter Jaques de Boys.
Duke Sen. Welcome, young man :