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over thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest,, is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft, that a ter- by pangs of death and sepulchre : hob, nob, is his rible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged word; give't or tak't. off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof Vio. I will return again into the house, and deitself would have earned him. Away.
sire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. (Erit. have heard of some kind men, that put quarrels
Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter : for the purposely on others, to taste their valour : belike, behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to this is a man of that quirk. be of good capacity and breeding; his employment Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out between his lord and my niece confirms no less; of a very competent injury; therefore get you on, therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the will breed no terror in the youth; he will find it house, unless you undertake that with me, which comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his with as much safety you might answer him: therechallenge by word of mouth; set upon Ague-cheek fore, on, or strip your sword stark naked : for meddle a notable report of valour; and drive the gentle- you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron man, (as, I know his youth will aptly receive it,) about you. into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech and impetuosity. This will so frighten them both, you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the that they will kill one another by the look, like knight what my offence to him is: it is something cockatrices.
of iny negligence, nothing of my purpose. Enter OLIVIA and VIOLA.
Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you
by this gentleman till my return. [Exit Sir Toby. Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them
Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? way, till he take leave, and presently after him.
Fab. I know the knight is incensed against you, Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some
even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the horrid message for a challenge.
circumstance more. (Exeunt Sir Toby, FABIAN, and MARIA.
Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone,
Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read And laid mine honour too unchary out:
him by his form, as you are like to find him in the There's something in me, that reproves my fault;
proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most But such a headstrong potent fault it is,
skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could That it but mocks reproof. Vio. With the same'haviour that your passion bears, you walk towards him? I will make your peace
possibly have found in any part of Illyria: Will Go on my master's griefs.
with him, if I can. Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me,
Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you:
one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow.
knight: I care not who knows so much of my What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny;
[Exeunt. That honour, sav'd, may upon asking give ? Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my master.
Re-enter Sir Toby, with Sir ANDREW. Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil ; I have not Which I have given to you?
seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, Vio
I will acquit you.
scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in, Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: Fare thee well. with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable;
(Exit. and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your
feet hit the ground they step on: They say he has Re-enter Sir Toby Belch, and Fabian.
been fencer to the Sophy. Sir To. Gentleman, heaven save thee.
Sir And. I'll not meddle with him. Vio. And you, sir.
Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified : Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't : Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard hanged ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let end : dismount thy tuck 9, be yare 4 in thy prepar- the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey ation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Capilet.
Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath Sir To. I'll make the motion : Stand here, make any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free a good show on't; this shall end without the perand clear from any image of offence done to any dition of souls. Marry, I'll ride your horse as well
as I ride you.
Aside. Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you
Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA. therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him I have his horse (To FAB. ] to take up the quarrel; what youth, strength, skill and wrath, can furnish I have persuaded bim, the youth's a devil. man withal.
Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he?
pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a you for his oath's sake: marry, he hath better bedevil in private brawl : souls and bodies hath he thought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now divorced three; and his incensement at this moment scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for
5 Stoccato, an Italian term in fencing.
Have done offence
, I take the fearyl you. me Drawing. And to his image, which, methought, did promise
the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will | Is't possible, that my deserts to you not hurt you.
Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Vio. Pray heaven defend me! A little thing Lest that it make me so unsound a man, would make me tell them how much I lack of a As to upbraid you with those kindnesses man.
[Aside. That I have done for you. Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious.
I know of none; Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's no remedy; Nor know I you by voice, or any feature : the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one I hate ingratitude more in a man, bout with you : he cannot by the duello 6 avoid it: Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and Or any taint of vice, whose strong corruption a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Inhabits our frail blood. Sir And. Pray heaven, he keep his oath! (Draws. Ant.
O heavens themselves!
2 off. Come, sir, I pray you, go. Enter ANTONIO.
Ani. Let me speak a little. This youth that you Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will. [Draws.
Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love,
Most venerable worth, did I devotion.
Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame. you.
[Draws. In nature there's no blemish, but the mind; Enter two Officers.
None can be call'd deform'd, but the unkind : Fab. O good sir Toby, hold; here come the officers. Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous evil Sir To. I'll be with you anon. [To ANTONIO. Are empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil. Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword if you please. i Off The man grows mad; away with him.
[To Sir ANDREW. Come, come, sir. Sir And. Marry, will I, sir ; — and, for that I Ant. Lead me on. (Exeunt Officers, with ANTONIO. promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He will Vio. Methinks, his words do from such passions fly, bear you easily, and reins well.
That he believes himself; so do not I. i Off. This is the man, do thy office,
Prove true, imagination, 0, prove true, 2 Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit
That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you! Of Count Orsino.
Sir To. Come hither, knight ; come hither, Ant.
You do mistake me, sir. Fabian ; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most 1 0fNo, sir, no jot; I know your favour well, sage saws. Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. Vio. He nam'd Sebastian; I my brother know Take him away; he knows, I know him well. Yet living in my glass; even such, and so,
Ant. I must obey.- This comes with seeking you; In favour was my brother; and he went But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.
Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, What will you do? Now my necessity
For him I imitate : O, if it prove, Makes me to ask you for my purse: It grieves me Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love! (Exit. Much more, for what I cannot do for you,
Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more Than what befalls myself. You stand amaz'd; a coward than a hare : his dishonesty appears in But be of comfort.
leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying 2 Off. Come, sir, away.
him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Ani. I must entreat of you some of that money. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious Vio. What money, sir?
in it. For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat him. And, part, being prompted by your present trouble, Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw Out of my lean and low ability
thy sword. I'll lend you something: my having is not much; Sir And. An I do not,
[Erit. I'll make division of my present with you :
Fab. Come, let's see the event. Hold, there is half my coffer.
Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be nothing Ant. Will you deny me now? 1 yet,
SCENE I. — The Street before Olivia's House.
Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown. Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent for you?
Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee.
6 Laws of duel.
Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you ; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither. – Nothing, that is so, is so.
Seb. I pr’ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else ; Thou know'st not me.
Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of
some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent curate ; do it quickly : I'll call sir Toby the my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, whilst.
(Exit Maria. will prove a cockney. – I prythee now ungird thy Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my myself in't; I am not tall enough to become the lady : Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming ? function well: nor lean enough to be thought a
Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me; good student: but to be said, an honest man, and There's money for thee ; if you tarry longer, a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a I shall give worse payment.
and a great scholar. The competitors! Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand: - enter. These wise men, that give fools money, get them
Enter Sir Tory Bench and Maria. selves a good report after fourteen years' purchase.
Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir Tory, and Fabian.
Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again ? there's of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily
[Striking SEBASTIAN. said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, lhal is, is; Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there : so I, being master parson, am master parson; For Are all the people mad ? [Beating Sir Andrew. what is that, but that? and is, but is ?
Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er Sir To. To him, sir Topas. the house.
Clo. What, hoa, I say, Peace in this prison ! Clo. This will I tell my lady straight : I would Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. not be in some of your coats for two-pence.
Mal. [In an inner chamber. ]
Who calls there? [Exit Clown.
Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. (Holding Sebastian. Malvolio the lunatick. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to work with him; I'll have an action of battery to my lady. against him, if there be any law in Illyria : though Cio. Out, hyperbolical fiend ! how vexest thou I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. this man ? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Seb. Let go thy hand.
Sir To. Well said, master parson. Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, Mal. Sir Topas, never was a man thus wronged : my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have fleshed ; come on.
laid me here in hideous darkness. Seb. I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by know?
the most modest terms; for I am one of those If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword. gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with
[Draws. courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark ? Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have an Mal. As hell, sir Topas. ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. [Draws.
Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as
barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the southEnter OLIVIA.
north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee hold. thou of obstruction ? Sir To. Madam?
Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas ; I say to you, this Oli. Will it be ever thus ? Ungracious wretch, house is dark. Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves, Clo. Madman, thou errest : I say, there is no Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my sight, darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more Bo not offended, dear Cesario :
puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog. Rudesby 7, be gone! I prythee, gentle friend, Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance,
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir ANDREW, and Fabian. though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
there was never man thus abused : I am no more In this uncivil and unjust extent 8
mad than you are ; make the trial of it in any conAgainst thy peace. Go with me to my house ; stant question.' And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, conThis ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby cerning wild-fowl ? May’st smile at this : thou shalt not choose but go; Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply Do not deny: Beshrew his soul for me,
inhabit a bird. He started one poor heart of mine in thee.
Clo. What thinkęst thou of his opinion ? Seb. What relish is in this ? how runs the stream ? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way Or I am mad, or else this is a dream :
approve his opinion ? Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep ;
Clo. Fare thee well : Remain thou still in darkIf it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!
ness : thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, Oli. Nay, come, I pr’ythee : 'Would thou'dst be ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodruld by me!
cock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Seb. Madam, I will.
Fare thee well. Oli. 0, say so, and so be!
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas,
[Exeunt. Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas ! SCENE II. - A Room in Olivia's House. Clo. Nay, I am for all waters. 2
Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy Enter Maria and Clown.
beard, and gown; he sees thee not. Mar. Nay, I pr’ythee, put on this gown, and this Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me beard ; make him believe, thou ar sir Topas, the
1 Regular conversation. 7 Rude fellow.
2 Any other Gem as well as a Topaz.
word how thou findest him: I would, we were well
I'll be with you again, rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently
In a trice; delivered, I would he were ; for I am now so far in
Like to the old vice 4 offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with
Your need to sustain. any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and
Who with dagger of lath, by to my chamber. (Exeunt Sir Toby and Maria.
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries, ah, ha! to the devil :
Like a mad lad,
Pare thy nails, dad. Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy.
Adieu, goodman drival. [Exit.
SCENE III. - Olivia's Garden.
Enter SEBASTIAN. my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; paper ; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thank- This pearl she gave me, I do feel't and see't : ful to thee for't.
And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Clo. Master Malvolio!
Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then ? Val. Ay, good fool.
I could not find him at the Elephant : ino. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Yet there he was ; and there I found this credit 5,
Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously | That he did range the town to seek me out. abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. His counsel now might do me golden service:
Clo. But as well ? then you are mad, indeed, if For though my soul disputes well with my sense, you be no better in your wits than a fool.
That this may be some error, but no madness, Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all So far exceed all instance, all discourse, they can to face me out of my wits.
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, Clo. Advise you what you say ; the minister is And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me here. — Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens To any other trust, but that I am mad, restore ! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, vain bibble babble.
She could not sway her house, command her folMal. Sir Topas
lowers, Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow.- | Take, and give back, affairs and their despatch, Who, I, sir ? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing, Topas. Marry, amen. – I will, sir, I will. As, I perceive, she does : there's something in't, Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say,
That is deceivable. But here comes the lady. Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent 3 for speaking to you.
Enter Olivia and a Priest. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some Oli. Blame not this haste of mine : If you mean paper ; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any
well, man in Illyria.
Now go with me, and with this holy man, Clo. Well-a-day, - that you were, sir !
Into the chantry by: there, before him, Mal. By this hand I am: Good fool, some ink, | And underneath that consecrated roof, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down Plight me the full assurance of your faith; to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever That my most jealous and too doubtful soul the bearing of letter did.
May live at peace : He shall conceal it, Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are Whiles 6 you are willing it shall come to note; you not mad indeed ? or do you but counterfeit? What time we will our celebration keep
Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. According to my birth. — What do you say?
Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with you; his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. And, having sworn truth, ever will be true.
Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: Oli. Then lead the way, good father ; And I pr'ythee, be gone.
heaven to shine, Clo. I am gone, sir,
That they may fairly note this act of mine!
SCENE I. - The Street before Olivia's House.
Enter Clown and FABIAN.
Clo. Good master Fabian, grant me another re-
Clo. Do not desire to see this letter.
Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, desire my dog again.
Enter Duke, Viola, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends ? 4 A buffoon character in the old plays, and father of the modern harlequin.
3 Scolded, reprimanded.
5 Account G
Clo. Ay, sir ; we are some of her trappings. Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you give me ;
Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate, good fellow?
Though, I confess, on base and ground enough, Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither : worse for my friends.
That most ingrateful boy there, by your side, Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth friends.
Did I redeem ; a wreck past hope he was : Clo. No, sir, the worse.
His life I gave him, and did thereto add Duke. How can that be ?
My love, without retention, or restraint, Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass all his in dedication : for his sake, of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass : so Did I expose myself, pure for his love, that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of Into the danger of this adverse town; myself; and by my friends I am abused : so that, Drew to defend him, when he was beset ; conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives Where being apprehended, his false cunning, make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for (Not meaning to partake with me in danger,) my friends, and the better for my foes.
Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance, Duke. Why, this is excellent.
And grew a twenty-years-removed thing, Clo. By my troth, sir, no ; though it please you While one would wink; denied me mine own purse, to be one of my friends.
Which I had recommended to his use Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me ; there's Not half an hour before. gold.
How can this be ? Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I Duke. When came he to this town? would you could make it another.
Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.
before, Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) once, and let your flesh and blood obey it.
Both day and night did we keep company. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer ; there's another.
Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and Duke. Here comes the countess; now heaven the old saying is, the third pays for all: the tripler,
walks on earth. sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are madness. St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind : One, two, Three months this youth hath tended upon me; three.
But more of that anon. Take him aside. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at Oli. What would my lord, but that he may not this throw : if you will let your lady know, I am
have, here to speak with her, and bring her along with Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable ? you, it may awake my bounty further.
Cesario, you do not keep promise with me. Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come
Vio. Madam ? again. I go, sir ; but I would not have you to
Duke. Gracious Olivia, think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetous- Oli. What do you say, Cesario ? ness : but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a
lord, nap, I will awake it anon.
[Exit Clown. Vio. My lord would speak, my duty hushes me.
Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord,
It is as fat 8 and fulsome to mine ear,
Still so cruel ? Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd
Oli. Still so constant, lord. As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war :
Duke. What ! to perverseness? you uncivil lady, A bawbling vessel was he captain of,
To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable ;
My soul the faithfull’st offerings hath breath'd out, With which such scathful grapple did he make
That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? With the most noble bottom of our fleet,
Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall beThat very envy, and the tongue of loss,
come him. Cry'd fame and honour on him.-What's the matter?
Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to do it, i of Orsino, this is that Antonio,
Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death,
That sometime savours nobly?— But hear me this: And this is he, that did the Tiger board,
Since you to non-regardance cast my faith, When your young nephew Titus lost his leg: And that I partly know the instrument Here in the streets, desperate of shame, and state,
That screws me from my true place in your favour, In private brabble did we apprehend him.
the marble-breasted tyrant, still; Vio. He did me kindness, sir ; drew on my side; But this your minion, whom, I know, you love, But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon me,
And whom, by heaven, I swear, I tender dearly, I know not what 'twas, but distraction.
Him will I tear out of that cruel eye, Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! Where he sits crowned in his master's spite. What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies, Come boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in misWhom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear,
chief: Hast made thine enemies ?
I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, Ant.
Orsino, noble sir, To spite a raven's heart within a dove. (Going. 7 Freight
& Dull, gross.