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SCENE 1. - Windsor. Before Page's House. Slen. I may quarter, coz!
Shal. You may, by marrying.
Shal. Not a whit.
Eva. Yes, py'r 3 lady; if he has a quarter of your a Star-chamler maiter of it; if he were twenty sir coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, simple conjectures : but this is all one : If Sir John esquire.
Falstaff bave committed disparagements unto you, Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my beand coram.
nevolence, to make atonements and compromises Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and Cust-alorum. ?
between you. Slen. Ay, and ralolorum too; and a gentleman
Shal. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot. born, master parson; who writes himself armigero;
Eva. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, armi- is no fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you,
shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear Shal. Ay, that we do: and have done any time a riot; take your vizaments 4 in that. these three hundred years.
Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have sword should end it. done't ; and all his ancestors, that come after him,
Era. It is petter that friends is the sword, and may: they may give the dozen white luces in their end it: and there is also another device in my prain,
which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with Shul. It is an old coat.
it : There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Eva. The dozen white louses do become an old master George Page, which is pretty virginity. coat well; it agrees well, passant: it is a familiar Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, beast to man, and signifies – love.
and speaks small like a woman. Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is Eva. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as an old cut.
just as you will desire : and seven hundred pounds
of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, A titie forinerly appropriated to chaplains. • Custos Rutulorum.
3 By our.
upon his death's bed, give, when she is able to Eva. Pauca verba, sir John, good worts. overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion, Fal. Good worts 6! good cabbage. Slender, I if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a broke your head; What matter have you against marriage between master Abraham and mistress me? Anne Page.
Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head Shal. Ďid her grandsire leave her seven hundred against you ; and against Bardolph, Nym, and pound?
Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.
Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has Bar. You Banbury cheese! 7 good gifts.
Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, Pist. How, now, Mephostophilus ? 8 is good gifts.
Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is Nym. Slice, I say ! pauca, pauca ; slice ! that's Falstaff there?
my humour. Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, Slen. Where's Simple, my man? - - can you tell, as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise cousin ? one that is not true. The knight, sir John, is Eva. Peace: I pray you! Now let us understand: there ; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well. There is three umpires in this matter as I under. willers. I will peat the door [knocks] for master stand: that is - master Page, fidelicet, master Page; Page. What, hoa ! pless your house here ! and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three Enter Pace.
party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.
Page. We three, to hearit, and end it between them. Page. Who's there? Eva. Here's your friend, and justice Shallow : note-bcok ; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the
Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my and here young master Slender; that peradven- cause, with as great discreetly as we can. tures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow Fal. Pistol, to your likings.
Pist. He hears with ears. Page. I am glad to see your worships well : I
Eva. What phrase is this, He kears with ear? thank you for my venison, master Shallow.
Why, it is affectations. Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you ; Much Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? good do it your good heart! I wished your venison
Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I better; it was ill-kill'd: - How doth good mistress might never come in mine own great chamber again Page 2 - and I love you always with my heart, la ; else, of seven groats in inill-sixpences, and two Edwith my heart.
ward shovel-boards °, that cost me two shillings and Page. Sir, I thank you.
two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. Shal. Sir, I thank you ; by yea and no, I do.
Fal. Is this true, Pistol ? Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender.
Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I
Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner ! — Sir John, heard say he was outrun on Cotsale. 5
and master mine, Page. It could not be judg'd, sir.
I combat challenge of this latten bilbo : 1
Word of denial in thy labras ? here;
Slen. By these gloves, then 'twas he. Page. A cur, sir. Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; Can I will say, marry trap, with you if you run the nut
Nym. Be advised, sir, and pass good humours : there be more said ? he is good, and fair. — Is sir hook's s humour on me; that is the very note of it. John Falstaff here?
Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do for though I cannot remember what I did when you a good office between you.
made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Eva. It is spoke as a Christian ought to speak. Shal. He hath wrong'd me, master Page.
Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ?
Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is not
Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignothat so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me; in
rance is! deed, he hath ; - at a word, he hath ; - believe me;
Bard. And being fap 4, sir, was, as they say, - Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wrong’d. cashier'd ; and so conclusions pass'd the careires.5 Page. Here comes sir John.
Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too : but 'tis Enter Sir John Falstaff, BARDOLPH, Nym, and no matter : I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, PISTOL.
but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick : Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain of if I be drunk, i'll be drunk with those that have me to the king ?
the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. Shal. Knight you have beaten my men, killed my
Eva. That is a virtuous mind. deer, and broke open my lodge: this shall be answer'd.
Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentle. Fal. I will answer it straight ;- I have done all men; you hear it. this: - That is now answer'd.
6 Worts was the ancient name of all the cabbage kind Shal The Council shall know this.
7 Nothing but paring! Fal. 'Twere better for you, if it were known in
8 The name of an ugly spirit
9 King Edward's shillings used in the game of shuffleboard counsel : you'll be laugh'd at.
1 Blade as thin as a lath.
4 Drunk 5 Cotswold, in Gloucestershire.
5 The bounds of good behaviour.
Enter Mistress Anne Page with wine; Mistress dissolutely.
I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and Ford and Mistress Page following.
Eva. It is a fery discretion answer ; save, the Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in ; we'll faul is in the 'ort dissolutely: the ’ort is, according drink within.
[Erit Anne Page. to our meaning, resolutely; — his meaning is good. Slen. O heaven ! this is mistress Anne Page. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Page. How now, mistress Ford ?
Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la. Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress. (Kissing her.
Re-enter Anne Page. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome :
Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne: - Would Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner ; I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne ! come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down alí
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father unkindness.
desires your worships' company. (Ereunt all but Shal. SLENDER, and Evans.
Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my Eva. I will not be absence at the grace. book of Songs and Sonnets here :
[Exeunt Shallow and Sir H. Evans. Enter SIMPLE.
Anne. Wil't please your worship to come in, sir?
Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am How now, Simple! where have you been? I must
well. wait on myself, must I ? You have not The Book Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. of Riddles about you, have you?
Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth : Sim. Book of Riddles ! why did you not lend it Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fort my cousin Shallow : [Erit Simple.) A justice of night afore Michaelmas ?6
peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for Shal. Come, coz; come, coz ; we stay for you. a man : – I keep but three men and a boy yet, till A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz; There my mother be dead : But what though ? yet I live is, as 'twere a tender, a kind of tender, made afar like a poor gentleman born. off by sir Hugh here; Do you understand me? Anne. I may not go in without your worship.
Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable ; if they will not sit, till you come. it be so, I shall do that that is reason.
Slen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as Shal. Nay, but understand me.
much as though I did. Slen. So I do, sir.
Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender : I Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you : I will description the matter to you, if you be capa. bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword city of it.
and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys ? Slen. Nay I will do as my cousin Shallow says : for a dish of stewed prunes ; and, by my troth, I I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in cannot abide the smell of hot meat since,' Why do his country, simple though I stand here.
your dogs bark so ? be there bears i'the town? Eva. But this is not the question; the question Anne. I think there are, sir ; I heard them is concerning your marriage.
talked of. Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir.
Slen. I love the sport well ; but I shall as soon Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mis- quarrel at it, as any man in England : – You are tress Anne Page.
afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not ? Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. any reasonable demands.
Slen. That's meat and drink to me now : I have 'Eva. But can you affection the 'oman ? Let us seen Sackerson & loose, twenty times: and have command to know that of your mouth, or of your taken him by the chain : but, I warrant you, the lips ; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is women have so cried and shriek'd at it. that it parcel of the mouth ; – Therefore, precisely, can pass'd 9 : — but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em ; you carry your good will to the maid ?
they are very ill-favoured rough things. Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slon. I hope, sir, - I will do, as it shall become
Re-enter Page. one that would do reason. Eva. Nay, you must speak possitable, if you can stay for you.
Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we carry her your desires towards her.
Slen. I'll eat nothing; I thank you, sir. Shul. That you must. Will you, upon good
Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, dowry, marry her?
sir ; come, come. Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon
Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. your request, cousin, in any reason.
Page. Come on, sir. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz ;
Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love Anne. Not I, sir, pray you, keep on. the inaid ?
Slen. Truly, I will not go first ; truly, la ; I will Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but
not do you that wrong. if there be no great love in the beginning, yet Anne. I pray you, sir. heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance,
Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublewhen we are married, and have more occasion to some ; you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. Exeunt. know one another : I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt; but if you say, marry her,
1 Three set-to's, bouts, or hits
8 The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Garden, Southwark 6 An intended blunder.
9 Surpassed all expression,
familiar style ; and the hardest voice of her behaSCENE II. The same.
viour, to be English d rightly, is, I am Sir John
Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' her well ; out of honesty into English. house, which is the way: and there dwells one Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass ? mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, | her husband's purse. his washer, and his wringer.
Pist. To her, boy, say I. Sim. Well, sir.
Nym. The humour rises; it is good. Eva. Nay, it is petter yet :
give her this Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here letter ; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to de- eyes too; she bears the purse too; she is a region sire and to require her to solicit your master's desires in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheaters to mistress Anne Page: I pray you be gone ; I will to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will to come.
(Exeunt. trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to
mistress Page ; and thou this to mistress Ford: we SCENE III. - A Room in the Garter Inn.
will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become, Enter Falstaff, Host, BARDOLPH, Nym, Pistol, And by my side wear steel ? then, Lucifer take all ! and Robin.
Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the Fal. Mine host of the Garter,
humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Host. What says my bully-rook ? Speak scholarly,
Fal. Hold, sirrah, [To Ros.] bear you these and wisely.
letters tightly 4; Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. my followers.
Rogues, hence avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go; Host. Discard, bully Hercules ; cashier : let them Trudge, plod away, o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack!
Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, wag: trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.
French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page. Host. Thou art an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and
[Exeunt Falstaff and Robin. Pheczar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw,
Pist. Let vultures gripe thee, for gourd and he shall tap : said I well, bully Hector ?
fullam 5 hold, Fal. Do so, good mine host.
And high and low beguile the rich and poor : Host. I have spoke ; let him follow: Let me see Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack, thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow.
Base Phrygian Turk!
[Erit Host. Nym. Í have operations in my head, which be Fal. Bardolph, follow him ; a tapster is a good humours of revenge. trade; an old cloak makes a new jerkin ; a withered
Pist. Wilt thou revenge? servingman, a fresh tapster; Go, adieu.
Nym. By welkin, and her star! Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
Pist. With wit, or steel ?
(Erit Bard. Nym. With both the humours, I: Pist. O base Gongarian ! wight! wilt thou the I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. spigot wield ?
Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold, Nym. His mind is not heroick, and there's the
How Falstaff, varlet vile, humour of it.
His dove will prove, bis gold will hold, Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box :
And his soft couch defile. his thefts were too open: his filching was like an
Nym. My humour shall not cool : I will incense 7 unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Page to deal with poison ; I will possess him with Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's yellowness 8, for the revolt of mien is dangerous : rest.
that is my true humour. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: Steal ! foh, a fico ! Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second for the phrase !
thee; troop on.
[Ereunt. Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Pist. Why then let kibes ensue.
SCENE IV. - A Room in Dr. Caius's House. Fal. There is no remedy; I must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food.
Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and Rugby. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Quick. What; John Rugby! - I pray thee, go to Pist. I ken the wight; he is of subtance good. the casement, and see if you can see my master,
Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am master doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and about.
find any body in the house, here will be an old Pist. Two yards and more.
abusing of the king's English. Fal. No quips now, Pistol ; indeed I am in the Rug. I'll go watch.
[Erit Rugby. waist two yards about: but I am now about no Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to at night, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her
3 Eseheatour, an officer in the Exchequer.
> False dice. 6 Sixpence I'll have in pocket
1 Instigate. 1 For Hungarian
come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell- | the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from tale, nor no breed-bate 9: his worst fault is, that he parson Hugh. is given to prayer : he is something peevish' that Caius. Vell. way: but nobody but has his fault; - but let that Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is ?
Quick. Peace, I pray you. Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.
Caius. Peace-a your tongue:- Speak-a your tale. Quick. And master Slender's your master ? Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your Sim. Ay, forsooth.
maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like for my master, in the way of marriage. a glover's paring knife ?
Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, my finger in the fire, and need not. with a little yellow beard; a Cain-coloured beard. Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you ? — Rugby, baillex
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? me some paper : — Tarry you a little-a while. Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall ? a man of his
[Writes. hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been fought with a warrener.
thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so Quick. How say you ? 0, I should remember loud, and so melancholy: - But notwithstanding, him; does he not hold up his head, as it were ? and man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the strut in his gait ?
very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.
master, - I may call him my master, look you, for Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse I keep his house ; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, fortune. Tell master parson Evans, I will do what scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and I can for your master; Anne is a good girl, and I do all myself ;. wish
Sim. "Tis a great charge, to come under one Re-enter RUGBY.
body's hand. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master.
Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it Quick. We shall all be shent 3 : Run in here, good
a great charge: and to be up early and down late :
but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your ear; young man; go into this closet. (Shuts SIMPLE in the closet.] He will not stay long. - What, John
I would have no words of it;) my master himself Rugby! John, what, John, I say? - Go, John, go is in love with mistress Anne Page; but notwithenquire for my master ; I doubt he be not well, neither here nor there.
I know Anne's mind, – that's that he comes not home: and down, down, adown-a, &c.
Caius. You jack’nape; give-a dis letter to sir
Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge; I vill cut his troat Enter Doctor Caius.
in de park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys;
priest to meddle or make : - you may
it Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier is not good you tarry here. [Erit SIMPLE. verd; a box, a green-a box ; Do intend vat I speak ?
Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Caius. It is no matter-a for dat; - do not you a green-a box.
Quick. Ay forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself he went not in himself; if he had found the young by.gar, I will kill de jack priest ; and I have apman, he would have been horn-mad.
pointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. weapon:
I vill myself have Anne Page. Je m'en vais à la cour, – - la grande affaire.
Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be Quick. Is it this, sir?
well: we must give folks leave to prate. Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; Dépêche,
Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me; - By quickly : - Vere is dat knave Rugby?
gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head Quick. What, John Rugby! John!
out of my door: Follow my heels, Rugby, Rug. Here, sir.
[Exeunt Caius and RUGBY. Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack
Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. Rugby: Come, take-a your rapier, and come after No, I know Anne's mind for that; never a woman my heel to de court.
in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do ; Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
nor can do more than I do with her. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :- Od's me!
Fent. (Within.) Who's within there, ho? Qu'ay-j'oublié 7 dere is some simples in my closet,
Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
house, I pray you.
Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou ?
Quick. The better, that it pleases your good wormy rapier.
ship to ask. Quick. Good master, be content. Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a?
Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?
Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? and gentle : and one that is your friend, I can telí dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. you that by the
way; I praise heaven for it.
Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou ? Shall Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatick; hear
I not lose my suit ? 9 Strife.
Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above; but I Foolish.
3 Brave. 3 Scolded, reprimanded.
notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a
– by gar,